A North Carolina Autumn - Chapter 12: Chapter 12

A buzzing sound pulls me from a deep sleep, but it stops, and I feel myself drifting off again. A moment later, it starts again and I quickly realize that it's my phone. It takes me a moment to find it in the pile of blankets on my bed, but I quickly answer it once it's in my hands.
"Hello?" My voice is sleepy, and I clear my voice.
"Aspen? It's Kristen. You need to come to the hospital."
"What's going on?" My heart rate quickly picks up speed.
"Just get here. Please." The line disconnects before I can say anything else.
"Shit..." I stumble out of the bed and throw open my closet, searching for shoes and sweats. I'm out the door and in my car within minutes, and I try not to speed on the way to the hospital.
Please be okay. Please.
When I get there, I park quickly in the nearly empty parking lot before hurrying inside. Sam, Jeremy, Spencer and Brad stand anxiously in the waiting room, each with messy hair like they'd just woken up.
"What's going on?" I gasp breathlessly. As Brad turns to me, I instantly see the tears in his eyes. "What happened/" I ask again, needing an answer. "Where's Kristen?" Still, Brad says nothing. "Sam, please." I beg. "What's going on?" Sam says nothing as his eyes fill with tears, but he pulls me into a hug.
"I'm so sorry, Aspen." He finally says. His voice sounds weird, like it's far away, and I wonder if it's because he's crying.
"Why are you sorry? Why will no one tell me what's happening?" I cry, my own tears spilling from my eyes. But deep down, I already knew. "She's gone?"
"Sam's eyes meet mine, and they're darker than normal. "I'm so sorry." He says again. I shove away from him and run towards Rylie's room, needing to see for myself.
She can't be gone. She was getting better!
The moment I get to her door, I feel it. I take a shaky breath before slowly opening the door. Rylie lies on the bed, unmoving, with a sheet covering her legs and stomach.
The first thing I notice is the silence. The normally noisy machines are silent, not a single beep comes from them. The ventilator that usually covers Rylie's mouth and nose is gone, and her face is pale, completely void of color.
"No..."
My feet carry me towards the bed, and I sink onto the chair by her bedside as my legs threaten to give out. "No..." My voice is broken, and I can barely see through the tears as they stream from my eyes.
When I take Rylie's limp hand, it's cold and stiff. I touch the backs of my fingers to her cheek, feeling the same cold there, too.
She's really gone?
The moment I have the thought, my heart seems to completely shatter. The pain I feel is too much, and the sobs suddenly tear through me.
But the moment the first sob leaves my mouth, I'm suddenly sitting upright, gasping for breath, on my makeshift couch bed.
"Oh my God." I gasp, clutching a hand against my mouth as a fresh wave of tears stream from my eyes. "It was a dream. Fuck," I breathe, clutching my head in my hands.
I suddenly feel sick, and rip the blankets from my body, hurrying to the bathroom. I empty the contents of my stomach into the bowl and flush what's left of my dinner before sitting back against the tub with my knees pulled to my chest as shivers travel through my body. I rest my forehead on my knees, breathing hard. My shirt was wet and sticky with sweat, and it clung to my clammy skin. I carefully pull my hair into a bun, letting the cool air in the bathroom cool me off.
It was only a dream. I remind myself over and over. It felt so real. But it wasn't, Rylie was still alive.
Two days had passed since the big scare, and the doctors had said she'd been showing signs of improvement. Jay had come by on Tuesday to run some tests, and had said they were looking surprisingly good. Then, the doctors had finally said the words we'd been craving: "We're hopeful."
Those simple words had been just what we'd hoped to hear, but apparently my subconscious was still worried. I think I would be worried until she was awake. Even then, I think I'll still be worried for a while after.
Once my legs finally stop shaking, I move back to the couch. Pale blue light is creeping in through the crack in the curtains of the balcony doors, and I know i'm not going to be able to fall back asleep. My doctor's appointment wasn't until 8:00am, so I decided to do what kept me distracted and busy. Time to clean.
"The x-rays look great, it healed very nicely!" The doctor explains. "Are you ready for that cast to come off?"
"More than ready." I laugh.
"Perfect. I'll grab the nurse, and once she's done, you'll be good to go!"
"Thank you so much. FOr all of your help." I say sincerely.
"You're welcome. Take care of yourself, okay?"
"I will." I smile as the doctor leaves, and a nurse appears a moment later.
"Let's get that cast off." She says with a warm smile before getting to work.
It was hard coming back here, considering the last time I was here was with Rylie, right after I'd purchased the ring. The memories were fresh and painful, but I was relieved to finally be getting rid of the cast. That was taking another step forward, and I was thankful for that.
When I get back to my apartment, Hadley is already there. She stands outside the lobby door and as I step out of my car, she waves happily. It's a cool day, and a few dark clouds hover overhead, questioning whether or not to drop their stores of water.
"Hadley, hey." I smile before pulling her into a hug. The hug is surprisingly good, and I realize then how touch deprived I'd been. I'd still hugged people, but not near enough. Hugging Hadley was different, probably because of our relationship, both past and present.
For the last year, I'd had Rylie. Physical touch was our main love language, and we were touching in some way, more often than not. To have that suddenly ripped away from me had affected me more than I'd thought.
"How are you?" She asks after we pull apart.
"I'm okay," I say genuinely. "Things have gotten a little better. The doctors are hopeful."
"That's great news!" Hadley gushes, taking my hand excitedly in hers, but I don't pull away.
"Would you like to come in before we go to the hospital?" I ask her.
"Sure! I kind of need to use the bathroom." She laughs.
I lead her in the door and to the elevator before we enter my apartment. "Oh, wow!" Hadley exclaims. "I love what you've done here!"
"Thanks," I laugh. "Rylie did most of the decorating. She's oddly good at it."
"That doesn't surprise me." Hadley laughs. "What is she not good at?"
"That's what I always say! I don't think there's anything she can't do!" I laugh. "The bathroom is down the hall, and the first door on the right."
"Thanks." Hadley smiles before following my directions. While she's in the bathroom, I fill Harvey's food and water, and make sure he has everything he might need while we're gone.
"So," Hadley says once we're in the car. "How does it feel to have your cast off?"
"Really good, and a little bit weird." I laugh. "I feel almost naked without it."
"I bet. I'm really glad it healed well. I still can't believe Gabe found you."
"He was a psychopath. Is it..." I pause, nervous to ask the question. "Is it weird that I was sad when I heard the news?"
"Oh, Aspen." Hadley reaches over the console to take my hand, and I let her. "I don't think that's weird at all. Whether good or bad, he was a big part of your life for a while. Part of you did care about him despite the things he did, and that's not a bad thing. That just shows how good you are."
I swallow the sudden wave of emotion. "Thank you, Hadley." I finally say, and squeeze her hand. When she doesn't pull away for the rest of the short drive, neither do I.
"Oh. She looks.." Hadley trails off.
"Bad?"
"No. Better than I thought she would. She looks like she could wake up at any moment."
"Yeah." I reply in a quiet voice. "Once they took her off the ventilator, it was hard for my brain to understand why she wouldn't open her eyes."
"I'm so sorry, Aspen. This has to be so hard for you."
"Thanks, Had." I say, pulling her into a hug. Suddenly, Spencer walks into the room. "Oh, hey Spencer! I didn't know if anyone else was here."
Spencer's eyes flick between Hadley and I. "I was just grabbing some food. Aspen, can I speak to you in the hallway?"
"Sure." I reply before shrugging at Hadley and following him out the door and down the hallway.
"Is that Hadley?" Spencer asks once we finally stop. I nod, not sure what's on his mind. "You love Rylie, right?"
"More than anything." I respond, confusion evident in my voice. Then suddenly, I understood. "Oh! Oh, Spencer, okay." I can't help but laugh. "No. Nothing is going on there. Trust me, Hadley is only my friend, and that's all she'll ever be." I smile, trying not to giggle. Spencer studies me for a moment before relief washes over his face.
"Okay." He finally laughs. I lead him over to some chairs, and we sit. "When I saw you hugging her, I was worried. This whole thing hasn't been easy on any of us, but I think it may be the hardest on you. Rylie is your girlfriend, you two have shared so much. It has to be so hard to have that suddenly taken away from you."
He... he gets it.
"Spencer..." I say, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. "I didn't realize how bad it was until Hadley got here. Hugging her, touching her hand, I wasn't doing it because I have feelings for her or anything..."
"You were doing it because it was the physical contact that you were craving." Spencer's eyes are soft and understanding, and I feel the tears falling from my eyes. "I'm sorry that I didn't even think about that." He says, putting his arm around my shoulders. "I should know by now that you'd never do anything to hurt or jeopardize your relationship with Rylie."
"She's the love of my life. I know we're young, but I only want her. She probably wouldn't be too happy if she saw Hadley and I though, so I'm glad you brought it up." I laugh quietly.
"I think that she's just as worried about you as you are about her."
"You really think so?"
"Oh, yeah. She's obsessed with you, Aspen. A silly coma isn't going to stop her from worrying or loving you."
I bark out a laugh and wipe my eyes. "Thank you, Spencer. She's lucky to have such a great older brother."
"I haven't always been the best, but I'm working on it. And hey, I'm thinking it won't be long before I'm your older brother, too." He grins, bumping my shoulder lightly.
I really hope so.
I'd always wondered what it would be like to have an older brother, and lately with Sam, Jeremy and Spencer, I realized I'd finally found out what it's like.