A North Carolina Autumn - Chapter 4: Chapter 4

"When do we tell Sam?" I ask Jeremy in a small voice while the parents work out the details for Rylie's transfer.
"I don't know. I don't want to ruin his honeymoon, but he will be more than a little upset if he finds out how long we waited to tell him. I'll probably get hell for it anyway, since a day has already passed."
"When do they get back?"
"Friday."
"That's a long time to wait..." I say. "But it is hard to know whether to tell them now or later, since it's their honeymoon. I'll let you make the call on that." I say in a teasing tone.
"Ha! Thanks, Aspen. You're really looking out for me." He jokes, and I can tell he's feeling a little better, too.
My mother comes to join Jeremy, Austin and I. "Looks like they're planning to move her before the end of the day. Did you let your friends know?"
"I can call Josh. He'll tell the others." Austin says before stepping away. I watch the back of his sandy hair for a moment, thankful again that he's stayed with us since the accident.
"Charlotte is far for most of them." I comment as I pull my knees up to my chest. Today I was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, so it was more comfortable, compared to my swimsuit and cover up yesterday.
"They'll be fine to make the drive as often as they can. Rylie would do the same for them." Jeremy reassures me.
"She would."
"Plus, camp ends soon anyway, and they'll have some free time before school starts back up."
"Oh, yeah. I wanted to go to the final comp next Saturday."
"Ava and I wanted to go, and I know Derek did, too. What if we meet up and go together?"
As worried as I am about something happening if I were to go, I feel desperate to go. Watching my friends surf in an actual competition, one that I wasn't competing in, seemed like a great distraction.
Should I feel guilty for wanting a distraction?
I try to tell myself that I shouldn't. Rylie wouldn't want me to be focusing on the sadness and pain of her accident.
"I'd really like that, Jeremy. Thank you. Rylie and I were supposed to go together..." I trail off, and Jeremy takes my hand.
"Hey, it's going to be okay." His voice is warm and comforting, and I take a big breath.
"I know." I reply, trying to believe my own words.
"Aspen," Someone shakes my shoulder gently, and I blink open my eyes. Jeremy and I had fallen asleep on the uncomfortable waiting room chairs, and my neck hurt from laying on his shoulder. I sit up, careful not to wake him, and glance up at my mom.
"Would you like to see Rylie before they start prepping her to be transferred?"
"Really?" I ask, wondering if I'm dreaming.
"Really. Kristen was the one to recommend it." My mother smiles.
"Oh. Wow." I breathe, taking a deep breath. Nerves suddenly fill my stomach, but I stand and follow my mother down the long hallway. Austin, sitting in the chair next to mine, gives me a warm smile as I stand.
The closer we get to Rylie's room, the harder my heart seems to beat. I mentally prepare myself, knowing she might not look like herself. I'd seen enough Greys Anatomy to understand that.
We stop outside room 318 and wait after my mom lightly knocks. Kristen opens the door and ushers us in, and I can't help but smile as I see Harper's tiny sleeping face in her arms.
My smile quickly fades as my eyes land on Rylie. It's not as bad as I thought, but my heart still hurts as I study her still form.
Her blonde hair is clean and pulled into a careful bun, while a bandage is wrapped around her head. I quickly gather that it's for the back of her head, where the surfboard hit. Where all the blood was coming from, soaking into the sand on the beach. I'm oddly relieved and surprised that her hair is clean, even though it makes sense that they would wash the blood and ocean water from it. She's wearing a light blue hospital gown, and her stomach and legs are covered by a thin grey blanket.
I step closer as I study her face, swallowing hard to keep the emotion down. Her eyes are closed and her face is pale, but I'm beyond relieved to see that there's more color there than when I last saw her as she was wheeled from the ambulance. Beneath the oxygen mask over her mouth and nose, I can see that her lips are a light pink.
I sink into the chair beside her bed, and hesitate as I debate taking her hand. The memory of her hand slipping from mine, cold and lifeless, was still fresh in my mind.
"You can hold her hand." Brad says softly from the foot of the bed. He senses my hesitation and continues. "It won't hurt her."
I nod and push the painful memory from my mind before carefully slipping my fingers between Rylie's unmoving hand, clutching it not too tightly in mine. Surprise ripples through me when I feel how warm it is.
"How... how is she so warm and so... normal looking, but she can't wake up?" I ask, and my voice breaks.
"Oh, Aspen. I know. The doctors have explained everything, but they don't know why she hasn't woken up. We can just pray that she wakes up soon."
But what if she doesn't? What then?
I can't bring myself to ask this out loud. I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer.
I get 15 minutes by Rylie's side, holding her hand before we're told that it's time. Her parents opted for an ambulance transportation, but would need to go home to pack some things before heading to Charlotte. Brad was in the same boat. That meant I would head straight to the hospital to meet the ambulance there. My own sweet mother offered to come with me, but I knew that she had several things to take care of back home, so I assured her I'd be fine.
Letting go of Rylie's hand before leaving the room is harder than I expected. Jeremy and Austen are waiting outside the room when we walk out. I had planned on excusing myself to go to the bathroom to break down in private, but Jeremy doesn't give me a chance. His arms wrap securely around me, and I burry my face in his flannel shirt as the tears return.
When I finally calm down, I feel slightly better. "Thank you." I say to Jeremy.
"You're welcome. Don't hold your emotions in, or wait to let them out until you're in private, Aspen. That's the love of your life in there, it's more than okay for you to have emotions about that. What's the plan with moving her?"
"They're prepping her now, and taking her to Charlotte. Her parents need to go home first to pack, so I'm going to leave for Charlotte, stop by our apartment and meet the ambulance at the hospital. Her parents don't think they'll need anything, but they want someone there just in case."
"Gotcha. I was going to go to Charlotte later since I have a work meeting in an hour, but I can cancel. I don't want you going alone..."
"Don't cancel, Jer. I'm sure I'll be fine." I was lying. I didn't want to drive back to Charlotte alone. Especially when Rylie was supposed to be with me. With my ring on her finger.
"I'll go." Austin jumps in. "We're not doing anything at camp today, and if Jeremy is planning on going to Charlotte later, he can just bring me back tonight."
"That works, actually. Some of the others might want to come, too."
We work out the details before saying our goodbyes, and I walk over to my mom. "Can I come stay with you for a few days while everything gets planned?" She asks.
How does she always seem to know what I need, before I can ask?
"I would really appreciate that, mom."
"I thought so. And you're too worried about others to ask for the things you need or want." She pulls me in for a hug. I was thankful that even after everything her and I went through last year, that she was still there for me and loved me no matter what. I was thankful to have this new relationship with my mother.
"I know." I respond with a small laugh.
"Hey Aspen," I hear Brad's voice and turn to face him. "I called Spencer and told him what's going on. He's going to get to the hospital around the same time as you. Is that okay?"
"Of course. He is her brother." I say with a smile.
"Yes, but he's also stupid. And you're her girlfriend, so I care about your feelings on the matter." He pauses and leans in. "Although, from what I've heard, it's not going to be girlfriend much longer, which means your opinion on everything matters that much more."
"You don't need to make me cry again." I say with a watery laugh. "She told you?"
Brad nods. "A while ago. I'm so sorry that it didn't happen the way she wanted it to, or when she wanted it to."
"Me too." I reply before letting him pull me into a hug.
15 minutes later, Austin and I are in my car, heading to Charlotte. He does a great job of keeping me distracted with jokes, and stories, and his usual, witty comments. By the end of the drive, I'm so glad he offered to come with me.
I park outside my apartment and we hurry inside to drop some things off. When I open the door, it's dark and quiet. I instantly hate the feeling it brings. I force my mind away from that dark feeling that's trying to creep in, and head into my bedroom to drop off the bags in my arms.
"I'm just going to throw in a load of laundry! You can make yourself comfortable." I call out to Austin.
"Okay. This place is sick!" He calls back, and I hear him push the living room blinds open.
"Yeah," I laugh. "We like it." I only open our clothes bag, not ready to open the other one holding the proposal items just yet.
Once the laundry is in, I take in a deep breath and let it out as I stare at our bed.
I can do this. I tell myself reassuringly. It's almost believable.