A Touch Of Sin [BxB] - Chapter 3: Chapter 3

"Tell me I look hot."
I glance up from my phone to see Katryn standing awkwardly at her bedroom door, fiddling with her fingers, which is a rare but nervous habit of hers. I haven't seen her look this insecure... ever.
Katryn is the type of girl to wear jeans all-year-round and clothes that hide away any curves she has. Her pixie hair-cut and dark eyeliner give her a little goth vibe, but her warm, blue eyes seem to counteract the darkness. And, her kind smile. It's hard to see as her punk-rock when she has puppy-dog eyes and a smile that convinces you everything is all right in the world. But hey, that's my opinion. Some might think she's scary.
Tonight, she's ditched the tattered jeans and concert-merchandise shirts for a tight black dress that shows off her petite waist and long legs. The dress has gold lines running down it, breaking up the darkness. She still has her legs covered in dark stockings and her signature boots planted on her feet, but the dress makes her look so much more feminine than she usually does. Her hair is straight, her lips pink and hell, she's even got some blush on.
"That bad?" she frowns self-consciously, looking down at herself.
"Wow," I say, pushing myself off her bed. I walk to her and fold her hand into mine. I lightly push against her so that she twists her body. "You look amazing."
Her cheeks flush dark red, right down to her neck. I blink at her for a moment. Kat doesn't get shy or embarrassed. Going to Grant's party with me tonight must really be a big deal to her. I knew it was, but not this extreme.
"Really?"
"Really," I confirm, my eyes dipping over her. "You look great."
She beams up at me and I squeeze her hand, before releasing it. I stroll back to her bed and collapse onto it.
"I just want to look better than usual, y'know? Probably seems really dumb," she mumbles, twisting a bit of her hair around her finger.
I shake my head. "Not at all. I want to look good, too."
"You always look good," she rolls her eyes. "Your body is the perfect amount of thinness mixed with muscle tone. You have swoon-worthy eyes, your dark hair contrasts amazing with your skin and your jaw bone," she physically puts her fist into her mouth. "Girls write teen fiction stories about that damn jaw line of yours."
I grin at her. "Wow. Remind me to come to you if I ever need a pep talk."
Once Kat and I became good friends, she confessed to me that she liked me as more than a friend, before realising I was gay. She's very open with how attractive she thinks I am and how much of a perfect boyfriend I would be. As much as I wish I could love her like that, my brain and heart are just not wired that way.
She smiles back. "You look nice, by the way."
I look down at myself. I'm wearing black jeans with slits in the knees and a plain white shirt. Nothing special. I have a light blue denim jacket to wear outside and my vans. I honestly didn't put much thought into the outfit but Katryn assures me I pull off the 'effortless hot as fuck' look, whatever that means.
"Thanks," I reply, before patting the spot beside me. "Come here."
When she sits beside me, her perfume washes over me. Katy Perry? No... Ariana Grande? Yes. Girly perfume for a not-so-girly girl, but she pulls it off anyway. I've come to know a lot of different perfumes having Kat as my best friend.
"No matter what happens tonight, we're there to have fun, okay?" I say to her tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "If something happens and you want to go, no matter what I'm doing, come and get me, okay?"
She nods. "You're the best."
"No, you are. You agreed to come with me, despite everything between you and Grant. That's a true best friend."
Kat smiles at me. "Cal... you're my best friend. I'd do anything for you."
I pull her to me and wrap my arms around her. She's warm and smells nice. I snuggle my head into the side of hers.
A throat clears and we both spring apart. Kat's brother is standing there, an eyebrow raised.
"He's just a friend," he mimics Kat, his voice much higher than hers is though, as he does.
"Piss off," she rolls her eyes.
Kat's whole family think we're secretly dating. I'm grateful that she hasn't told them all the truth. I'm not ashamed, I just don't know if I want everyone to know yet. Especially when I haven't even told Ma.
"Hey Joe," I greet him. I push to my feet and shake his hand. Joe is about four years older than us. He's cute in my best-friend's-older-goofy-brother kind of way.
"Cal," he responds. "You two almost ready?"
We nod. Kat rushes around her room, gathering her last-minute things.
"I'll meet you in the car," he says after a minute of Kat still fumbling to gather her items.
I down my beer and when Kat can't finish her Cider, I finish hers too. She rushes out the door and I grab the jacket that she forgot and will definitely need. I shake my head as I throw it over my shoulder.
"Hey man, how's your sister?" Joe asks as I clip myself in.
"She's good, she's heading back up this way for the weekend," I answer. Joe was in the year below Ellie at school. He asks about her every time I see him but when I tell Ellie, she gets a confused expression on her face, as if she can't quite remember him. I'm half-convinced Joe idolised her from afar, but I don't know for sure.
"Oh, that's nice. I might see her around." The hopefulness in his tone is completely transparent.
"Yeah maybe," I reply half-heartedly.
Kat begins babbling on then, arguing with Joe about which music to play. I lean my head back and look out the window. The trees and road signs are a blur as we pass them. My head feels light from the alcohol. I run my palms down my jeans, trying to rid any nerves I feel.
It's just a party. I go to parties all the time. It doesn't matter if Jake is going to be there. I might not even see him.
But you want to.
I close my eyes and exhale deeply. Feelings. They're annoying and confusing and make things complicated.
Usually I'm already at Grant's, but once Grant heard Kat was coming, he didn't want her around early and since we're a package deal most of the time, it gave me a get-out-of-setting-up card for the night, which means the party has already started.
"You two have fun!" Joe chirps in a sing-song voice as we pull up. He gives me a suggestive look, which I ignore.
"Thanks Joe," I say instead and peel myself off his back seat. I clap the roof of his car when we're both out.
The music is loud and the ground is vibrating underneath me. I glance at Kat, who looks worrisome.
"Hey," I nudge her. "We're going to have a fun night."
She nods, attempting to look convinced. "Yeah."
We enter and the rap song that's playing is almost deafening. Kat tries to say something to me but I give her a clueless look, unable to hear her. Grant's house is generous in size but manages to look small with this many bodies crammed into it. The air is stale with sweat, perfume and alcohol fumes.
With that state of everyone's dismal dance moves and their red-ringed eyes, it appears we're actually late.
After greeting a few people, we make our way into the kitchen, where all the boys are. Justin, one of the boys in our group and on the football team, is propped up on the kitchen bench by the window, smoking a joint. He grins and hollers at me as I enter. Grant looks up and whistles loudly.
"My man!" he slurs, stumbling over to me and clapping my back roughly. "About time you got here."
He throws his arm around me and shoves a shot into my hand. I throw it back and wince at the burn. I glance to Kat, who is looking at her feet.
"Can I have another, for Kat?" I ask Grant.
Grant purses his lips for a moment, giving me a look. I stare back and he sighs, turning back to the kitchen island. He pours a few more. Childishly, he hands the shot to me, instead of Kat directly.
"Thanks," she smiles as she accepts it.
Grant shoves another into my hand and I clink my glass with hers, before we down them. I take this one better, already expecting the burn. I chase it with a fruity-tasting drink that Scott, our other friend, hands me.
"Haze!" I hear someone yell and almost kink my neck, I look up that fast.
Jake strolls in, looking as hot as ever. He's dressed in a dark maroon shirt and ripped jeans. He has a backwards cap on, even though it's night time and we're inside, with sunglasses slung over the collar of his shirt. I feel my insides clench. He has so much affect on me. I hate it.
Our eyes meet. He nods at me with an aloofness only he can pull off. I nod back and try to remember how to breathe. The blonde girl who was hanging off of him yesterday wanders in next and he slings his arm around her. I can't help but scoff, drawing the attention of Kat beside me.
"Easy tiger," she grins. "Jealousy doesn't look good on you."
Instead of replying, I throw another shot back and walk out of the kitchen. If sober me doesn't like witnessing that, then drunk me really doesn't.
Scott hands me a beer as I pass him and I mutter a thanks as I grab it from him. I pop the lid off and flick it towards one of the man plastic buckets scattered around the house. I down half the bottle before I even make it to the dance floor.
I glance back to the kitchen, to see Jake leaning on the doorframe, Jacinta leaning into him, her lips pressed to the base of this throat. I skull the rest of my drink.
"Callum!" a voice yells out to me and I glance towards a girl in my year, who is grinning up at me.
Alice has been a friend of mine for a few years. Not a close friend, but someone I'd say hey to when I pass in the hallway.
"Alice, hey," I smile at her.
For a moment, there's two of her. I blink a few times and then my vision goes back to normal.
"Are you and Katryn a thing?" she blurts. "Because, okay, I'm just going to say this and I'll probably regret it but, like, you're really cute and funny and so, so nice and just, yeah, I was wondering if you're with Katryn because you're always hanging out and seem so close but don't seem like officially dating? Anyway, so, um, are you? Dating her?"
I slowly blink at her, trying to absorb all the information that was just sling shot at me. Alice thinks I'm cute? She thinks I'm straight? Sometimes, I feel like I have a 'I'm Gay' neon sign flashing above my head. Maybe I'm not as obvious as I seem to myself.
Alice is pretty. She's nice. She's smart. She would be perfect, you know, if I actually wanted to date girls.
"OhmiGod," she squawks, going a deep red. "I just made such an idiot of myself. Forget I even said anything."
I glance over to the kitchen again, where Jake is still preoccupied with skank. I mean Jacinta.
Screw it.
Alice begins to turn, but I grab her hand. I pull her to me and for reasons I'm not sure of, I kiss her. I feel her stiffen in surprise, before kissing me back. The feeling is foreign and strange but also nice and soft. I gently cup her face and kiss her deeply, trying to think of anything else but Jake. I fail. Miserably. The dark hair, the eyes, the tattoos, the smirk. It's all I think of as I kiss this girl. It's not fair. It's not right. But I do it anyway because I'm dumb and I'm drunk and I'm sad.
I yank her hair free from its pony tail and run my fingers through it. I don't like the feel of kissing someone with long hair. I want short hair. I want firm muscles. I want someone strong and passionate and alive.
She wraps her arms around my neck and presses her body tightly to mine. Nope. Nothing downstairs happening. If this was a test to see if I could possibly be straight, then I have majorly failed. Fuck.
We break apart from each other breathlessly. She blushes up at me with a cute, shy smile.
"You're not dating her then," she breathes. "Cool. Good to know."
"That answer your question?" I grin at her, feeling a little out-of-breath and dizzy.
"Yes," she says quietly. "Wow. Callum. Just wow."
She stands on her toes and kisses me again. I close my eyes and try to enjoy it. We kiss a bit more. It's wet and a bit slobbery this time. I think it's her being slobbery. I don't know. It all just feels weird and a bit unnatural. I kiss her anyway and try not to overthink things. We break apart and kiss and break apart and kiss for what seems like an hour. We dance, we sing, we make out a lot until I'm red-faced and tired.
We finally split apart for good. I head to the kitchen, feeling light-headed and a bit dazed. Numerous boys slap me on the back and whistle at me. I just laugh and nod along, like I'm proud of what I've just done.
I snag another beer from the esky and go outside, realising I haven't been with Katryn for over an hour. I finally find her, tucked away in a corner, staring out at the stretched-out backyard.
"Kat," I say. "Hey."
She turns to me, her bottom lip trembling. Her eyes are watering as she glares at me.
"How could you?"
"Huh?" I ask.
"How many times have you said to me that you wished you were straight, that you wished you were into girls, into me?" she sobs, wiping angrily at her cheeks. "And yet there you are, kissing Alice fucking George in front of the whole world!" My mouth falls open. "Why would you do that? Did you do it for revenge against Jake? Or were you just experimenting? Because that fucking hurts. You know I love you, Cal. I wish every single day that you'd turn around and think, hey, this is a girl I think I could date, but no, that's just not who you are and that's okay because I love you, but then you go and do this? What were you thinking? Did I even cross your mind?"
Ouch. My heart. I feel like it's been stabbed. I blow out a breath.
"Kat... I'm so sorry. I didn't even think–"
"Whatever, Cal. I'm going home. Enjoy the party."
She shoves past me and stalks around the side of the house. I know better than to go after her, she's impossible to talk to when she's angry. I run my hand through my hair.
"Did she just have a go at you for making out with Alice?" Grant asks as he walks out.
"Yep," I sigh.
"She's such a jealous person. She did this to me. You're not even dating Kat, right?"
"I don't want to get into this," I groan and brush past him. I can't stand to have another conversation with Grant about Kat. It does my head in. I hate being caught in the middle of them. It's draining.
I moodily stomp past everyone. I march upstairs and go into the bathroom.
My eyes have a slight glassy look to them. My hair is standing up in odd angles and my cheeks flushed. I splash cold water onto my face and lean heavily on the basin. When the door open, my eyes remain closed.
"Occupied," I shoot over my shoulder.
"I know."
I spin around to see Jake standing there. He leans back nonchalantly against the door, digging his hands into his pockets. A dark bit of hair flits across his forehead. He looks like an image straight out of Vogue magazine.
I'm acutely aware of the water dripping down my neck and my tenacious heartbeat.
"I saw you on the dance floor earlier," he eventually says.
My saliva feels thick as I swallow. "Yeah. I saw you in the kitchen."
Jake nods. "Is that why you did it?" Silence hangs between us heavily. "Because, correct if I'm wrong, you don't like girls. Or have things changed?"
I lean back onto the sink and fold my arms across my chest. "No. Nothing has changed."
"So, you admit it?" he asks, taking a step forward. "You did it because of me?"
His eyes. They're too much. I lower my gaze. "Yeah, I guess I did."
He steps closer. I'm very aware of how his shirt clings to his body oh-so-well. How his shirt sleeves appear almost too small as they hug his bicep. How his aftershave is powerful yet not overwhelming. How his skin is bronze and kissed with too many freckles.
Thud, thud, thud.
My damn heartbeat. It's so loud in my ears.
Painfully, painfully, slow, he leans forward. Each arm goes to my sides, trapping me where I am. I drop my hands from my defensive stance, letting them hang by my side.
He manoeuvres his face so that his lips are by my ear. "How did it feel?"
A shiver spikes down my spine. I close my eyes.
Holy shit. He hasn't even touched me and my body feels electrified.
"Did it feel like this?" he moves so that his leg brushes mine.
That movement has more reaction than a whole make out session with Alice ever did. I clench my teeth together.
"Hmm?" he presses, his warm breath on my neck.
His fingers skip up my arm. A breathless sound escapes my lips. He places his fingers under my chin.
"Did it feel like this?" he asks, before gently, so, so gently, kissing my lips.
My insides feel like they're on fire. I almost whimper.
"No," I say hoarsely. "Not at all."
"Good," he whispers, before he kisses me again. This time, it's hungry and firm and possessive.
I tilt my head back and kiss him with all I have. Every bit of emotion that I've kept squashed since he left comes flooding back, hitting me with force of a bullet. I pull him to me, unable to control myself.
This is happening. This is finally happening.
He's yanking my shirt off and I let him. He kisses down my neck, across my collarbone and down my chest. I throw my head back and moan a sound I had no idea my body could make.
I feel like I slip out of consciousness when his hand goes lower. I grip the sink, my arms shaking.
"Relax," I hear him murmur.
I want to laugh. I cannot possibly relax when my body is feeling like this. I screw my eyes shut so tight that it hurts. His hand continues to move. I'm about to lose all control.
A desperate cry leaves me as I slump forward, my forehead burying into his neck. His skin is hot.
"Holy fuck," I groan.
Jake steps back from me, a tilt to his smirk.
"That's how it should feel," he says, before casually turning and walking out of the bathroom without a word.
I sink to the floor, my entire body trembling.
Best. Night. Ever.