A Touch Of Sin [BxB] - Chapter 41: Chapter 41

I stand, staring into my room, trying to figure out how I'm feeling.
It's silly, in reality, because it's not like I'm leaving forever. Nothing is going to change. No one else will use this room, everything will stay where it is. But, will I change? Will I still be the same person? A year might be nothing to some, but it's a lot to me.
I lightly tap my hand to the wooden door frame, as if saying a gentle goodbye to my room. An unfamiliar, squeamish feeling has entered my stomach as I trot down the stairs.
"You ready?" Ma asks, sliding her bag over her shoulder and flicking a bit of her hair behind her ear.
"As ready as I'll ever be."
With one hand, I reach for my suitcase and the other swings my carry-on behind my back. My eyes roam the street, the lawns, my driveway, before I sigh, climbing into the car.
I think about Jake on the drive to the airport. They gave us a rough estimate of a date we'd be flying out but then sprung it on us that I was leaving sooner than anticipated. Jake is at work and had a big blow up about the fact that he wasn't driving me, but I explained to him that his job is more important and that he can meet me there when he's finished. He wasn't happy about it, that's for sure.
I don't know how to say goodbye to him. Last time we were in this situation, he was the one leaving. No goodbye. No explanation. He was just... gone.
Ma has been talking the entire trip. I know I should be engaging, since I won't be seeing her for a long time, but I can't stop thinking about Jake. Leaving him is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
There are cars everywhere when we arrive. It's a bit of a blur, moving from the car, to into the airport.
I think I'm hallucinating when I see a jet of blonde hair streaking towards me. Ellie launches herself into me and I lose my balance, both of us toppling to the floor. I let out a laugh as she clings to me tightly, before we scramble to our feet, earning some seriously weird stares from bystanders.
"What are you doing here?" I ask breathlessly.
"You didn't think I'd come to your send off?" she rolls her eyes with a smile.
"You didn't have to come," I say to her. "But I'm glad you did."
She beams at me, before squeezing my shoulder.
"You ready for this?" Haze asks, coming forward and clapping hands with mine.
"Nope," I admit.
"You'll be back before you know it," he assures me.
"You planned this?" I ask Ma.
She gives me a proud smile. "Sure did."
We check my luggage in and that's when it begins to sink in.
I'm leaving.
I feel a little robotic as we go to the food court. I have no appetite but order a chicken sandwich anyway. I'll feel worse if I don't eat.
"Nervous?" Ellie asks me, eyeing my face thoughtfully.
"Only a lot," I reply.
When we sit, conversation rolls, as it always does when Ellie's around, which seems to soothe the anxiety bubbling inside me. I'm glad they're here but it's only going to make it harder to leave. I'm praying hard that this is the right decision.
"Where's that brother of mine?" Haze asks as the waiter clears the table. "Thought he'd be here or is he not taking this well?"
"He's at work. He'll be here."
"Surprised he didn't skip."
"He tried but I told him he had to go."
Haze cracks a grin at me. "Glad he listens to someone."
"Has he come around to it?" Ellie asks.
"He's handled it better than expected."
She smiles. "He's growing up."
"Finally," Haze mutters at the same time I say, "He is."
Everyone stays until I'm called to go through customs. I'm beginning to panic because Jake isn't here.
"We can't wait any longer," Ma says, glancing towards the decreasing line of people going through the check point.
"I can't go without seeing him."
I'm possibly going to hyperventilate. I pull at the collar of my shirt agitatedly.
"I'll try and ring him," Ellie suggests, pulling out her phone.
In the meantime, Haze shakes my hand and Ma pulls me into a rib-breaking hug. I wince at the tightness but hug her back just as aggressively.
"You call me every day," she demands, wiping at her eyes. "Call, write, whatever. Anything."
"I will," I promise.
Ellie's face falls when he doesn't answer but doesn't say anything. She pulls me into a hug.
"Do us proud, champ," she smiles.
Great. Now I'm crying, too.
My heart is thumping as I glance to the door one last time, before I walk to the end of the line. My hands shake as I look ahead, chanting to myself that this is okay, I'll be fine.
"CALLUM!" a voice roars.
Thank God.
I break from the line just before I was about to step up. Jake is barrelling towards me. His hair is ruffled, his baggy hoodie faded and his perfect smile, the smile reserved only for me, etched onto his face.
He collides into me with a solid force. His scent overpowers me as his hands clasp the side of my face. His lips meet mine in a heated rush. I kiss him back hard and fast, not caring that everyone in this room is staring at us.
"Thank fuck I got here in time," he breathes as we break apart. "I would never have forgiven myself."
"That doesn't matter," I say urgently, kissing him again, raking my fingers through his hair. "You're here." I kiss him again, tasting him for the last time. "You're here."
Our tears mingle together in a salty, sad mess. He wipes the tears from my face.
"Don't," his voice shakes as his own tears fall.
"You don't," I cry back.
My mouth is hot and sticky as I press my forehead to his, feeling our tears fall on our clasped hands, our breaths mingling as one.
"I'm going to miss you so fucking much," he whispers.
"We will talk every day."
"Every day," he nods fiercely. "Don't you fucking forget me."
I let out a hysterical, half-sob, half-laugh. "You're an idiot if you think that's possible."
"Sir, you really need to pass through now," one of the workers calls out to me.
That's when I realise everyone has gone through. I pull away from him and it nearly kills me to do it. I look back to my family. Haze's mouth has dropped to an 'O'. Ellie's sobbing. Ma has one hand laid over her heart, the other over her mouth.
I realise then that none of them would have realised the connection we had. No one knows how fiercely we love each other. They don't know how damn hard this is.
"I have to go," I whisper.
Jake doesn't wipe his tears away. He stares at me, raw, exposed and vulnerable. It splinters my heart. We stare at each other. Every emotion, thought and feeling passes between us.
"I love you," he tells me, his voice much stronger than before.
"I love you."
He strides forward and kisses me one last time. It's soft, slow and lingering.
"Goodbye, J," I say.
"Goodbye, Cal."
I grip his hand, before stepping away. I wave to everyone else who stares in a silent, sad shock. The lady gives me a sympathetic stare as I pass my bag to her. My hands tremble as I clear out my pockets.
After I get through, I walk into the final room. Tall, glass windows stand as a barrier between us and the rest of the airport. Jake walks to the glass, placing his hand against it, the other over his chest.
In response, I place mine over my heart.
He smiles at me and I walk to one of the seats. I collapse onto it and rub my burning eyes. My entire body is aching in pain. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't realise it would hurt this much.
"This might be a bad time," a voice says, drawing me from my thoughts. I glance up and my heart stops. Rhett smirks down at me as he gestures to the spot beside me. "Is this seat taken?"