A Touch Of Sin [BxB] - Chapter 52: Chapter 52

Jake's POV:
I tug at my hair, hoping the physical pain will somehow distract me from the catastrophe that is my mind. I could barely comprehend Callum and Rhett together, despite everything and now this...
"You look like you've seen better days," a middle-aged lady with eyes too harsh says to me, arching a drawn-on eyebrow. "What will you be having?"
Leaning onto the bar, I tap my fingers as my eyes search the shelves. This place is too loud, the bar too sticky and the people here too drunk for a Sunday night but none of that matters. Does anything matter anymore?
"Rum," I mutter, my throat so raw, that single word burns to speak.
"Girl troubles?" she probes as she slides it over to me.
I snatch it from the bar, ignoring her. I take in my surroundings, observing the girls drunkenly dancing near the band and the creepy old men watching them with wicked gleams. I hate that I'm here.
My phone vibrates against my leg. Hating myself for it, I yank it out, to see if it's Callum, even after everything.
Spud: How you doing, mate?
Jake: Want to get fucked up?
Spud: Where?
Jake: The Grill
Spud: On my way.
My phone slides into my back pocket and I decide that's where it will stay for the rest of the night. I take another sip and realise I've reached the end already.
"More," I choke out.
The bartender has given up trying to get a response from me. She silently swaps my card for the rum. The coolness of the alcohol somewhat soothes my throat, but every swallow feels like fire. My eyes are aching from crying. I've never cried before – not until Callum. He's made me weak.
A few minutes later, Spud wanders in.
"Hey bud," he greets me with a handshake. "What're you drinking?"
I nod to my glass.
"I'll have what he's having," Spud says, throwing money onto the bar top. "Dude," he turns to me. "I overheard what went down. That was fucked up."
"I know."
"Callum is bi?" he questions curiously.
"Didn't think so but who fucking knows with him anymore," I sigh and wince at the pain in my throat. Apparently sobbing so hard you feel like you could pass out has bad side effects on the body.
"I really thought he was one of the good ones, man," Spud shakes his head, before thanking the lady serving us. "Didn't see that coming. Don't know him from a bar of soap but he just didn't seem like the type."
"He isn't," I instantly defend him and scold myself. "Well, so I thought."
"Let's forget about him, anyway. He's old news," Spud slaps his hand on my shoulder.
"Touché."
I let myself think of him one last time. The gorgeous eyes, the sharp jawline, the kind smile. My mind savours the image of him one final time before I shove him to the back of my mind into a pile I don't wish to visit for a long, long time.
We move from the bar and find a table near the back. It's a good spot, close to the bar, far enough from the band that you can semi-talk and have a good view of what's going on. I perch my elbow over the seat and lean back, observing everything around me. The later the night gets, the busier it is. I've come to realise people here party non-stop.
"Hey boys!" a voice squawks at us. "These seats taken?"
"By you," Spud smiles at them, gesturing for them to sit down.
I turn my attention to the two girls who've joined us. I'm taken back by how beautiful they are.
"I'm Spud," he shouts over the music. "This is Jake."
"Hi Jake," the blonde bites her lip, which I'm guessing is supposed to be seductive. "I'm Candice."
"Jules," the other girl chirps.
"What are you two lovely ladies doing out tonight?" Spud questions.
"It's Jules' birthday!" Candice explains. "We went out for dinner and thought we'd have a few drinks and hang out for a while."
"Awesome," Spud grins. "What are you drinking? I'll get a round."
They rattle off what they want and I tune back into the band. I came here for the attention these girls are willing to give me but I know it's not going to fill the void Callum's left in my heart.
A part of me is saying I should go home and try to forget about it all. Another, the more aggressive side of me, is saying fuck that, you're too young to feel this hurt and you need to not let it ruin your life.
"How's it going, Jake?" Candice asks me. "You're looking a little out of sorts over there."
Trying to talk with my throat this sore is not going to be fun. I lean in a bit closer to them.
"Sorry, I'm going through a pretty bad breakup," I reply, before switching my eyes to the other girl. "Happy Birthday, by the way."
"Thank you!" Jules smiles. "I'm sorry to hear that. That sucks."
"Yep," I agree, forcing myself to make small-talk. "What have you got planned for the rest of the night?"
They look to each other and shrug. "Nothing, really. You?"
"Nothing, really," I echo.
Spud re-joins the table and sets everyone's drinks down.
"Thanks man," I say as I reach for mine.
Spud's good at keeping the conversation rolling. I participate every now and then but he generally takes over, running the show. I'd rather watch the band, but I'm trying to tell myself not to be a dick.
When the girls exit for a bathroom break, Spud turns to me.
"So, I got those... party favours, on me," he says quietly. "You keen? Might offer the girls some?"
"Sure," I nod.
The only reason I wouldn't do it is because of Callum but I no longer respect his wishes.
"I live about ten minutes away and my parents are away for the weekend," Candice announces upon her arrival back to the table. "You boys in for kick ons?"
Spud grins, hitting his hand to my back. "Hell yeah we are."
***
I wake to the sound of someone vomiting nearby.
Squinting, I see Jules bent over the toilet seat. I wince as I try to swallow, my throat feeling like I've swallowed a scalding piece of metal. Turning my head, I see Candice tucked into my side, wearing nothing but the shirt I was in last night.
Spud is sprawled face-first into the floor, looks like he didn't even sleep in a bed last night.
I check the time, seeing that its ten a.m. We didn't go to sleep until about five this morning. I lost track of what happened last night, we weren't in our right minds. I remember snippets of Candice and I, but everything is so blurry that I can't recall the exact sequence of events.
My phone shows three missed calls from my new boss and I realise I was meant to work today. I ignore that for the time being and log into snapchat, seeing one from Callum, which was sent a few hours ago.
I open it, to see a photo of the empty bed beside him.
Miss you.
In a moment of cruelness, I send a photo of the half-naked girl beside me and respond:
Wish I could say the same.
The snapchat is opened immediately. I know he won't reply to that because it's going to kill him. I push back the guilt, reminding myself what he did was worse.
I close my eyes and let myself drift back to sleep.
I wake sometime later to the sound of sizzling and the smell of bacon. I push to my elbows to see a sleepy but smiling Candice beside me.
"Good morning."
"Hey," I reply and I reach out, putting a hand on her knee. "How're you feeling?"
"Pretty good," she smiles. "You?"
"Better than earlier."
"Hungry?" Spud calls out.
Jules is setting the dining room up while Spud cooks. My stomach growls in hunger. I can't remember the last time I ate. It would have to be over twenty-four hours ago.
"Starving."
I excuse myself and go to the bathroom. I splash cold water on my face and run my fingers through my hair. Candice is re-dressed in her own clothes now, handing me back my shirt.
"Thanks for making my birthday one to remember, guys," Jules grins. "Had such a good night."
"It was so fun!" Candice nods in agreement.
As we eat, we decide what to do with our day. The girls both have lectures but not until two this afternoon.
"Anyone keen for the beach?" Candice asks, her pretty green eyes lingering on me for a heartbeat longer than anyone else's. "I'm dying for a swim."
"I'm in," Spud nods.
"Sure!" Jules adds.
All eyes turn to me and I shrug. "Why not?"
We split up to get organised and meet at Main Beach within half an hour. I'm glad Haze wasn't home when I got there, I don't want to explain where I was – he knows I wasn't with Callum. Not that he acts like a father figure but I know he will be concerned because of what I'm going through. Us Haze boys don't really deal with things well.
Spud and Jules are all over each other that it's kind of uncomfortable to be around them. I flirt with Candice, more out of obligation than want.
I reach for her hand as we leave the water but she doesn't take it.
"Did I fuck up last night?" I ask. "Sorry if I did, I don't mean to be an asshole."
She shakes her head as we collapse onto the towels. "No way. You're seriously so attractive and such an amazing kisser. But you're so broken. It's really sad."
"What? No, I'm not."
"You've got to so much pain inside you. It's almost unbearable to witness," she says quietly. "You were crying in your sleep last night."
"Oh Christ," I moan, burying my face into my hands.
"It must be so awful for you." I squeeze my eyes tight-shut. Her hand stays on me, gently stroking. "You must really love her."
"Him."
Her hand stops for a moment, before continuing. "Oh." She says softly. "What's his name?"
"Callum."
"Is he as good looking as you?" she smiles.
"More."
"Gosh," she laughs. "How depressing."
I capture her hand in mine and hold it for a moment. "Thanks. For getting it."
"Yeah," she nods. "I don't think I've had a love as strong as what you have but I've been through breakups. They're the worst things in the world."
"Hope the pains goes away, like, right the fuck now."
"Doesn't work like that I'm afraid."
"Wish it did," I sigh.
Jules and Spud stay out in the water for a while longer and I take time to soak in some sunshine and listen to Candice talk about her life. I like her a lot more now. After the beach, we get burgers. I find myself forgetting, for a few moments, and laughing without wanting to cry, which is much more than I expected to get out of today.
When we all part ways, the hurt begins to creep back in. It feels like a dark web, slowing spreading through my body, inch by inch, plaguing me with its darkness.
I drop my keys into the bowl and hang my towel over the railing to dry.
"Hey," I say, my voice hoarse, as I enter the kitchen.
Ellie is sitting on the kitchen bench, licking a spoon held by Haze. Seeing them so happy makes me kind of want to stab myself in the eye.
"Hey!" she says brightly. "What's up?"
"Not much."
"You have a visitor in your room," Haze says over his shoulder. "Don't shed any blood, Ellie is sick of soaking our shirts."
Ellie rolls her eyes. "I haven't had to in a while. Let's try and keep it that way."
I exhale. He's the last person I want to see right now. My heart is still butchered from the last time.
Callum is sitting on my bed. He looks worse than I feel, which I wasn't sure was possible.
"What are you doing here?" I sigh.
"We can't be like this," he chokes out, eyes glossy and brimming with tears. "We have to sort something out."
"Shouldn't have cheated on me and then moved on within a day," I fold my arms across my chest.
"I know an apology isn't enough, but what can I do?" he pleads. His skin is a ghostly white pale, making him look like he's seriously unwell. "I'm begging you. How can I fix this?" He stumbles over to me. He clutches at my hands. "I'll do anything."
I yank them out of his hold. "You can't fix something you destroyed, Callum."
"I'm so sorry," he cries. "I'm so, so, sorry. I can't live like this. Knowing that you hate me."
"You're going to have to."
"J," he sobs and it is the most painful thing to witness. "Please."
"No," I snap harshly, sending him a fiery glare. "You don't deserve forgiveness. You ruined the best thing I've ever had and you're going to have to live with that for the rest of your life."
"This can't be over," he whispers. "A love like this can't just end."
"It can, you did it yourself," I growl at him. "I can't do this. Get out."
"Jake, please," his voice splinters and a cool shiver runs down my spine.
"Callum!" I roar at him. "Get out!"
"Who was she?" he sobs. "Who were you with?"
I whirl around to him in outrage. "You have no fucking right to ask me that!"
"Hey, hey," Ellie intervenes, looking concerned. "Let's calm down guys."
"Callum, you need to go," says Haze, politely but firmly.
I refuse to meet Callum's eyes as he stares at me. I fist my hand and shove it in my mouth to stop myself screaming. I'm so fucking angry that he thinks he can come here and ask me who I was with. After what he did.
"Jake..." Ellie says softly.
"Get out. Everyone. Get the fuck out," I snarl. It takes every ounce of control I have not to send my fist through the wall.
They respectfully back out of my room and I slam my door so hard that the wall shakes.
I fall to the floor in emotional agony. My body trembles as I curl into a ball.
The only thing I want right now are his arms around me.
And I hate myself for wanting that.