A Touch Of Sin [BxB] - Chapter 64: Chapter 64

Callum's POV:
Jake is quiet. Unusually quiet, as we jet up the highway. And for once, he is actually doing the speed limit.
I continue to cast a glance at him every few seconds, checking in to make sure he doesn't have a break down. Seeing his mother last night and now this? I would have thought it was too much.
The warm airs floods the car and I push my sunglasses up my nose and settle back into the seat, trying to relax. I'm not sure why I seem more tense than he does right now.
AJ Haze. A man I honestly hoped I wouldn't see again. If it wasn't for him, my father would be alive. If it weren't for many things AJ did, a lot would be different. I try not to think about that. Today isn't about me or the past or my feelings about this.
The drive from where we are to the prison is roughly about three hours. Five, from our home town. I haven't travelled this far south for a long time. Not since my dad died.
"What are you thinking about?" I ask, lowering the music.
"I'm not, really," he answers.
"How are you feeling about all of this?"
"Nothing."
Within moments, his jaw is clenched and his hands tightly wound around the steering wheel. I exhale. I'm certainly not unfamiliar with Jake's ability to close himself off. I don't push it. Instead, I inch the volume back up and continue to gaze out the window.
Given that I have the time, I let my mind reel back to the beginning. Jake returning to school and everything after that. Some parts still hurt to replay in my mind and other memories make me smile goofily. So much happened in a short amount of time.
My phone vibrating pulls me from my trance and I reluctantly let go of my thoughts and return to reality.
Rhett: I wish things were different.
I stare at the screen. I'm over being angry with Rhett. I'm tired of it. I wish things were different, too. I should never, ever let myself get close to someone else. My heart has belonged to Jake for a long time and I was a fool to think otherwise.
I don't respond because I can't. I'm not letting this thing go on anything longer.
The rest of the drive is filled with whatever music is playing at the time. Usually, Jake and I can have endless conversations of nothing, but today, there's silence on his end and with his stiff posture and white knuckles, I decide to leave him be. The drive seems to drag on forever but as we left early, it's only mid-morning when we arrive.
I peer around the carpark at the filled lot sadly. So many others are here having to spend this nice day inside the walls of a prison.
"You sure you want to do this?" I ask.
"Yep," he says curtly before walking ahead of me.
Sighing, I follow him to the door. I don't want to be here. I don't want to see AJ. I wish I could still pretend he doesn't exist, but I know the time for that is over.
I feel extremely unsettled as we go through the security measures. I never wanted to come to a prison and I never planned to. I don't let my thoughts stray and try to stay calm. Eventually, we are let through to a big room where a number of tables are spread throughout. We are guided to one near the vending machines.
The lighting is harsh, the room bare and it smells damp, as if fresh air has never gotten in here. The bench is hard and cold that I sit on and I tangle and twist my fingers together as we wait. Seconds later, AJ is escorted into the room.
My breath seems to catch in my throat. He's aged rather terribly, having garnered a lot of wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. He has a scruffy beard with patches of grey. His eyes are slightly blood shot, as if he hasn't had a good night sleep in years. I shift uncomfortably on the bench, not wanting to stare but unable to look away.
Jake scrambles to his feet and they stare at each other. I could cut the tension with a knife. My eyes flicker back and forth between them.
"You got tall," AJ says gruffly, making no effort to reach out to him. He sits, his eyes looking to me. "Who are you?"
My hands ball into fists to the point my nails bite into my skin. My father is dead because of what he did and he has the audacity to sit before me and ask me who I am.
"Callum," I spit at him. "Ellie's brother."
The corner of his lip twitches as he stares at me, taking note of the hostility in my voice.
"Right," he says dismissively, turning to Jake. "So, after all these years, you've decided to come see me."
Jake looks ghostly white as he sits beside me. "Yep."
"Why now?"
He shrugs. "Been thinking about it for a while. Saw Debra yesterday."
AJ flinches, his eyes snapping open widely. "Your mother?"
"Yeah."
"She reached out to you?"
"Yeah."
AJ runs his fingers over his chin. Dirt is piled underneath them.
"Don't get used to her being around, kid. She'll only ever let you down," he huffs, shaking his head.
"Don't worry, I'm used to that from the both of you," Jake replies back in a somewhat emotionless tone.
AJ's lip twitches again. I can't tell if he's battling a smile or a smirk. Either gesture would infuriate me if he let it through.
"How's your brother?" AJ asks.
"He's doing really good," Jake answers.
"Still with that girl?" he asks, his eyes flickering to mine momentarily.
"Yeah he is."
I look up at the roof. This visit is more painful and awkward than I imagined it would be.
"Mm," AJ hums.
"I'm doing fine," Jake continues with an edge to his voice. "Thanks for asking."
"I can see that."
"Are you?"
"Am I what?" he asks, leaning back in his seat.
"Doing fine?"
AJ lets out a wheezy breath-laugh. "Sure, son. I'm doing fine."
"You never wrote to me or tried to call," Jake murmurs and I look to him, surprised at the vulnerability laced in his voice.
AJ looks at him, too, curiosity in his bright eyes. "And you never visited."
"I was just a kid," he whispers. "I needed my dad."
"You didn't need shit," he snaps. "Don't depend on others and don't rely on them. That's the first thing in life you learn, kid."
Jake's eyes harden as he takes in his words. "Right."
Without thinking, I reach out and touch a hand to his shoulder tenderly.
"What the fuck is this?" AJ bursts, startling me. His eyes flare as he stares at my hand. "You a fucking queer, kid?"
Jake looks like he's been slapped and I recoil from his words, my hand falling to my lap.
AJ's face is a mixed look of disgust and outrage. I want to shrink under his gaze but I don't, I stare back just as hard.
"I didn't raise you to be like this," he grumbles, his eyes furiously flicking between us.
Jake slowly rises to his feet, shaking.
"You didn't raise me at all, AJ. Thanks for reminding me you're a total piece of shit and not worth a moment of my time."
He tears from the table, disappearing through the door.
"Nice," I say, looking to Jake's father. "Only chance you ever had at a relationship with your son, gone."
AJ glares up at me through his dark eyelashes, a surly expression planted on his face.
I lean onto the table, getting in so close that I can smell his foul breath. AJ physically leans back from him, looking at me with a hatred I don't deserve.
"You're going to die miserable and alone," I growl at him. "And you fucking deserve it."
I rip myself away from the table and stride to the exit. I push out the double doors and welcome the warm, fresh air spilling onto my face. I search for Jake, to see him leaning over the garden. I rush to his side, just in time to see him puking.
"Oh J," I whisper, gently rubbing his back.
"That was so fucked up," he sobs. "I didn't expect him to be a new person, but I didn't think it would be that bad."
"I know," I say miserably.
I should have known this would happen. I knew what type of person AJ was. I shouldn't have allowed him to hurt anyone again. I feel furious that I didn't prevent this.
Jake wipes the back of his across his face. I guide him back inside to freshen up in the bathroom, before we return to the car. I take the keys from his shaky hands and go to the driver side.
"I don't want to go home," he whispers brokenly, covering his face with his hands.
"Okay."
We drive into town and I crawl through the street, searching for a hotel with a vacancy sign out the front. I spot a relatively nice looking one and pull into park. A huge pool is the first thing you see and I picture Jake laying on the edge of it, relaxed, soaking up the sun.
"I'll sort it out," I tell him when he goes to open his door.
I've never gone to a hotel last-minute with no bookings before. Actually, I've never even booked a hotel before, but it also seems quite easy, except that I had to ring Ma and ask for her credit card details, considering I don't have one. They only need it for the bond, not to charge, thankfully.
Once we're inside our room, Jake sinks miserably onto the bed. "I feel so stupid."
"You're not stupid."
"Haze was smart enough not to do this to himself."
"Haze is different. He's had a whole different experience than you," I remind him. "He has his own reasons for thinking how he does."
Jake lays on the bed and stares up at the ceiling.
"Hey, why don't I go get us some things and you can have a bit of time to just... relax."
"Okay," he murmurs.
"I'll be back soon."
Considering we hadn't planned to stay anywhere overnight; we have nothing with us. I get us all the basic things we need and I buy us both a nice pair of new clothes On my way back to the hotel, I also buy a carton of Jim Beams, which is Jake's favourite drink.
"That's it," I announce as I walk through the door, to see Jake hasn't moved since I left an hour ago. "We're going out tonight. Have a drink, get dressed and let's go."
He offers me a watery smile. "That actually sounds good."
"I know it does," I reply. "Come on, up you get."
With one hand, I haul him to his feet and give him a can with my other.
His fingers find mine, touching them lightly. "I was selfish today."
"What?"
"I was selfish today," he repeats. "I didn't consider your feelings and for that, I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," I say quickly. "He's your dad."
"You supported me one-hundred percent today and I didn't support you."
"J," I say, pressing the palms of my hands to his cheeks. "I'd do anything for you, okay? And never apologise for wanting a relationship with your father. Even if he is a complete, fucking idiot."
He smiles at me. "You would, wouldn't you?"
"What?"
"Do anything for me," he says. "You really would."
"I would," I confirm.
He leans in, kissing me softly. "Never leave me."
"Easy to do if you never leave me, either," I say as his nose grazes me chin, nuzzling into me.