Ad Astra - Chapter 31: Chapter 31

When Asteria and I wake the following morning, we adopt the same routine as in Esterpool. I dress her as normal and brush her hair, doing my best to keep up light conversation as if nothing has changed. I can sense her nervousness in the way she bites her bottom lip and twirls the ends of her hair more than normal. I would be lying if I said my own stomach wasn't churning in the same nervousness. I press a kiss into Asteria's hair as she sits in front of the mirror, examining her outfit for the day.
"You will be okay," I murmur.
Her warm hand grasps my own and squeezes it tightly.
We part briefly to eat our morning meals. Unlike in Esterpool, I am not special enough to be invited to dine with the royal family. Rather, I take my meals in the maids' quarters with the other servants. The food is a step above what I was normally served in Esterpool before becoming head maid, but already I miss my mealtimes with Asteria tremendously.
A few other maids sit beside me and begin to ask questions about the princess and Esterpool. I answer as politefully and truthfully as I can. Their warm and smiling faces are in stark contrast to the cruel maids who beat me in Esterpool. It makes me almost envy Kiana, who has been enjoying the pleasures of Magewell for months now, but then I remember how wildly different my life would be if I had not become close to Asteria.
"Fe," Felicity says, interrupting my morning meal.
I glance up from my half-eaten plate, thrilled that her presence has at least quieted the maids around me.
"The princess has requested your presence at her royal meeting this morning. I can escort you, since I know you are not as familiar with the castle," Felicity offers.
"That would be wonderful. Thank you," I say. I leave my remaining breakfast behind and follow her nervously through the castle corridors.
"How did you sleep last night?" Felicity asks.
"Well," I respond.
"I suppose the princess's couch must still be a luxury," Felicity says, and I wince, forgetting for a moment that that is where everyone believes I am sleeping. "If you need to stay a night in the maids' quarters, do not hesitate to let me know. I am sure the princess can be without your company for one evening if necessary."
"Thank you," I say. "That is very kind."
We navigate down some additional hallways until I spot Asteria in the distance. Her gaze is turned from me, and I see by her furrowed brow and raised voice that she is in some sort of verbal argument. As we approach closer, I realize that King Ruben and Prince Stephan stand in the doorway. I gulp and briefly glance behind me, wondering if turning back is still an option, but I promised Asteria I would support her during this week.
Felicity's footsteps slow as we approach. She touches my shoulder and whispers, "I shall be taking off, then."
I nod, certain I am the only one insane enough to interrupt the royal family's argument.
Asteria turns her head suddenly. "See, she is here!" Asteria says, gesturing to me.
I curtsy toward the royal family. "Yes, I am. Is something the matter?"
"Maids are not typically allowed into the royal meetings," King Ruben says, his gaze fixated on me.
"I will not enter the meeting without her!" Asteria argues.
Meanwhile, Stephan leans against the wall, snickering to himself as the scene between Asteria and her father play out. I stand there uneasily, trying to get a word in, but ultimately failing as their argument continues back and forth. Finally, Stephan steps forward.
"What does it matter if she is present?" he asks, creating a similar argument to yesterday when Asteria bickered with her father about my living arrangements. "She is, by definition, loyal to Magnuvia. And if she isn't, Asteria has four more perfectly good maids in Esterpool who can replace her. She is expendable," he says, eyeing me with that last word.
My hands grasp into fists, but I boil my anger down inside me.
"I will not enter without Fe," Asteria repeats.
"Fine. Let her in," King Ruben says exasperatingly, throwing his hands in the air. "We are already behind schedule as it is."
He and Stephan turn to enter, and I gaze at Asteria. She is flustered, obviously still angered by her father's words, but upon seeing me, her face relaxes, and she exhales enough that I see her shoulders visibly relax.
"Shall we?" she asks
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
The royal meeting room is less elaborate than I would have expected. It contains nothing more than a long wooden table and some bookshelves shoved in a dusty corner. Narrow windows allow natural sunlight to flood the room, but the officials quickly pull the curtains closed before the meeting can begin, darkening the room. I linger uncomfortably until Asteria motions for me to sit beside her. As I do so, I notice Kiana in the corner standing with a few other guards. I glance at her a few times, but her gaze is entirely removed from me. She is calm and stoic, while my palms are sweating being seated with so many important Magnuvian officials. Thankfully, everyone's gazes seem to be directed on anyone but me.
The meeting conversation begins as I expect it to; there are updates about the expansion northward. Forces are still fighting valiantly on the border of Kilneu and its neighboring countries, but no new countries have been seized. I think of Lagi, who will be on the frontlines soon, and suddenly, I fear for his safety as the officials recount the number of deaths and the number of new recruits into the army. They list off soldier deaths by country, and I sit quietly, hiding my irritation that all the soldier deaths seem to come from every country except Magnuvia. I am not foolish enough to think they would put those soldiers anywhere else but the front lines. It was how my father died, and I worry it is how Lagi will die too.
I glance at Asteria. She is looking thoughtfully at the officials, but even I can tell her mind is elsewhere by the way she absentmindedly twirls a few strands of hair and gazes toward the curtained window once in a while.
"There is another urgent matter we must discuss," King Ruben says once the conversation surrounding the military invasion has ended. This gathers Asteria's and my attention, as we both visibly perk up.
"Asteria, this is the reason I called you here," King Ruben says, his gaze steady on her. "There are rumors of spies infiltrating our country."
"And from which source did you hear such rumors?" Asteria questions.
"He is not being overly cautious, Asteria," Stephan says. "Multiple royal officials have hinted to us that strange occurrences have been happening as of late. Forged documents, strange travel patterns, increased letter correspondence between countries."
I try to hide my nervousness. Quickly, I shoot a gaze to Kiana, but her gaze is turned from mine. Her breathing does not appear to be any more rapid. In fact, she looks much calmer than most of the royal guard. My heart sinks, knowing how well she is performing her duty. My mother would be proud of her. Meanwhile, I can feel my palms growing slicker as the conversation progresses.
"I appreciate your concern, but why do you bring this to my attention? I am a princess in title, but you have stripped my rights. Surely no one is bothering to commence their spying in Esterpool," she snarks.
I gulp dryly and stare ahead at the wall, trying to remain as nonchalant as possible.
"It is best to remain vigilant," King Ruben warns. "You are still a member of the royal family, regardless of your status. Do not think you aren't a target."
"When you provide me with more information, I will take the threat more seriously," Asteria grumbles.
A royal official jumps in, attempting to share evidence. I listen thoughtfully, but nothing can be traced back to Kiana and myself, making me wonder if our activity is even the one being tracked. I think thoughtfully to what the official says. Perhaps my mother did not care when I told her the Magnuvians were becoming suspicious, but it is clear that we will need to be more careful regardless. I consider writing to her when I have returned to warn her not to visit anymore, but I worry suddenly that she will merely think of it as an excuse to save my own skin.
The discussion around spies lasts an uncomfortably long time. Thankfully, no country is explicitly mentioned, though it is obvious by the officials' bitter tones that the spy would reside in one of the colonized countries of the empire. I am thankful for now that Landiani remains out of their mouths. I am sure my anger would burst if they were to mention it, and though I would not suspect Asteria to be suspicious, I am sure King Ruben and Prince Stephan would turn their sights to me the moments a rumor stated that a Landiani spy had infiltrated Magnuvia.
The remainder of the meeting devolves into a discussion on war tactics, but I am so relieved that the discussion about spying is over that I block out much of it. After what feels like an eternity, we are dismissed. I rise shakily next to Asteria, and she flashes me a weak smile. While we did nothing more than sit to each other during the meeting, I can tell she is thankful for my company.
The royal officials disperse out of the room first, followed by King Ruben and Prince Stephan. I follow behind Asteria as the royal guards begin to escort the king and prince out. However, as I exit, I feel someone slip something into my pocket stealthily.
I turn, noticing Kiana standing near the doorway. Her wrist grabs onto mine, allowing me to linger for a second.
"Do not forget tonight," she whispers.
I reach into my pocket, feeling the piece of parchment she has slipped inside. It is no doubt the map that will lead me to our meeting place tonight. I nod at Kiana, and she removes her hand from my wrist. We exit the room together, and I meet Asteria on the other side. My gaze lingers as Kiana walks down the hall, and I think again about the piece of parchment in my dress pocket. Though only a piece of parchment, it weighs heavily in my pocket. Tonight, I will be taking massive risks to meet her.
"Someone you know?" Asteria asks, noticing my gaze on Kiana.
I freeze, then quickly smile. "Yes, actually! Her name is Haukea. We both grew up in Otakoro. I was surprised to see her in the royal guard yesterday. We spoke for a bit yesterday while she escorted me to the maids' quarters."
Ahead, I see Kiana pause in her steps. It is nothing more than a slight hesitation, but it is just enough for me to notice. I wonder if she is bothered by my response? Or perhaps by my willingness to share with Asteria so openly? Either way, she resumes walking almost immediately.
"I'm glad to hear it. Shall we head back to my bedroom? I'm exhausted, and I have no more engagements for a few hours," she says. "Perhaps we can share some tea?"
"Sure," I say. I desperately want to take her hand in mine, but her presence is enough to soothe me as we begin walking down the hallway.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Later, I lie with Asteria in her bed, comforted by the warmth of the sun as it shines through her bedroom window. Asteria is cradled close to my body, her fingers knotted in the hem of my dress, while I soothingly run my hands through her long, silky hair. Though it has only been twenty-four hours since we arrived to Magewell, we are both exhausted. Spending time alone like this together is enough for us to forget about the pressure of the trip for a few fleeting moments.
"Thank you again for joining me this morning," Asteria murmurs against me. She hasn't spoken in several minutes; I had thought she had fallen asleep, but when I glance down, her eyes meet mine.
"Of course," I respond.
"I hope I did not put you in an uncomfortable position. I imagine it was not pleasant hearing them talk about the spy situation and how they suspect they are from one of the colonized countries," Asteria says.
I hope she cannot feel my heart speeding up suddenly.
"It is what I expected. Truthfully, I wasn't paying attention to most of the meeting anyway. I do not know how you can stand those. They're awfully boring," I say.
"Oh, my thoughts were elsewhere, too. I don't listen much either," Asteria says.
"What were you thinking about?" I ask.
Asteria pauses for a moment. "How long this trip is going to be. A week seems like an eternity. But at the very least, I'm glad you are with me, Fe." She leans upward to kiss me gently. I meet her lips, but guilt spreads through my body, knowing that I will be abandoning her this evening to meet Kiana in secret.
We embrace each other for a little while longer before Asteria has more royal duties to attend to. She does not ask me to accompany this time, leaving me with some free time in the afternoon. As soon as she is gone, I pull out the map that Kiana slipped me and study it closely. My sense of direction has never been pristine, so I hope her instructions are enough to get me to our meeting spot. I study it for some time, then decide to practice following her map on my way to the maids' quarters in the evening when I go to fetch dinner. I meander down a few incorrect corridors, but eventually, I find the closet Kiana dragged me into the day before. I hope that my sense of direction will work at night, when the castle hallways are darkened.
Dinner is slow and uneventful. A few other maids sit with me and chat, but the conversation is rather surface-level, and I would rather be chatting with Asteria. I have grown so used to eating with the princess that it feels wrong enjoying meals without her this week. I only hope she is not bickering with her father and brother in my absence.
When I return back to Asteria's room, she is not there. I glance at the wooden grandfather clock ticking away in her bedroom, seeing I still have four hours before I am supposed to meet Kiana. I suppose it is best to try to get some sleep now beforehand as I have no idea how long Kiana will keep me awake.
I take some time dressing into my nightgown. I glance longingly at the door, hoping Asteria will enter, but her meals with her family always seem to take a few hours. Finally, I give up and crawl into her bed, drifting off into a light slumber.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
I awake when I hear the door open to Asteria's bedroom. I stiffen, fearing for a moment it is not Asteria and, rather, a guard or someone else of high authority who would be infuriated to know I am sleeping in the princess's bed. Thankfully, I recognize Asteria's flowing white gown and golden hair almost immediately in the lamplight. Glancing at the clock, I see that two hours have passed.
I sit up in bed slowly and let out a yawn.
"Welcome back. How was dinner?" I ask.
"I wish five courses did not take so long to get through," Asteria complains. "Sorry. I would've been back hours ago. You can return to sleep. I didn't mean to disturb you."
"Are you sure? Do you want me to help you get undressed?" I ask.
Asteria shakes her head.
"I am your maid, I think you forget," I say. "It's part of my duties. I don't mind—"
"You must be tired. Rest up, Fe. I'll be in bed in a few moments," she says.
I nod, although now I fear falling back asleep and missing my meeting tim with Kiana. I lay on my side, staring at the clock ticking in the distance. I shut my eyes when Asteria returns to bed, now dressed in her nightgown. Though I desperately want to lay awake and speak with her, I will need her to fall asleep quickly so that I may sneak out easier.
Asteria crawls in on the other side of me and turns the lamp off beside her bed. I open my eyes once more, keeping my back turned from her so she cannot see me waking. Suddenly, I feel her arms come around either side of me, and she buries her head into my back. My heart sinks. It will be harder to leave if she is embracing me like this.
Still, I cannot exactly open my mouth and tell her she needs to sleep apart from me tonight. I would hate to do so, especially when I hear her humming contently against me. It takes everything in me to remain still when her lips brush the nape of my neck.
"Good night, Fe," she whispers.
I say nothing in response, doing my best to feign sleep. I listen carefully to Asteria's breaths and become deeply aware of her movements next to mine so that I may guess when she falls asleep. My eyes grow droopy, and though I force myself to stay awake, I too easily find myself falling asleep as well.
I wake in a panic a little while later, finding that Asteria has moved away from me and is now sleeping separately on her side of the bed. I move ever so slightly to glance at her, thankful to find her eyes shut. She looks to be in a deep slumber. When I glance at the clock though, my stomach drops. It is already half past midnight. I slept far longer than I wanted to.
With my gaze fixated on Asteria, I climb slowly out of bed. She does not move, and her breaths remain steady. I pray that she remains asleep as I slip on my shoes and grab the map Kiana slipped to me earlier in the day. I linger near her bedroom door, wondering if I truly want to take this risk, if I want to betray Asteria's trust and meet Kiana. But aren't I betraying Asteria's trust already? My whole reasoning for coming to Esterpool was built on a lie. What should it matter if I leave now?
Sighing, I creak the door open as quietly as possible and slip out into the hallway, leaving Asteria alone in her bedroom to sleep. I keep the map tucked neatly in my pocket, hoping I will not have to use it.
The castle is eerily quiet this time of night. I keep my eyes peeled in the dimly lit hallways for any signs of guards, but the route Kiana wrote for me must have been planned strategically because I pass by no one on my way there. Eventually, I find the closet and unlock the door, slipping inside.
A light turns on almost immediately as I enter. I stifle a scream of surprise. Kiana is seated near the back of the closet with an annoyed expression on her face.
"I was about to call it a night," she says.
"I'm sorry," I say. "The princess – she's a light sleeper. I had to be cautious and be sure she was truly asleep."
"Well, try to be more on time next time," Kiana grumbles. "I thought you weren't going to come at all."
"What? Of course I was," I argue.
"Nevermind. We're wasting time. Let me show you what I have," Kiana says.
I notice she has a small rucksack with her. She removes multiple rolled up pieces of parchment and lays them out carefully on the ground in front of us. I realize with a shock that they are highly detailed maps of the castle, as well as the daily schedules of King Ruben and Prince Stephan.
"This is all the information I have gathered so far," she explains, and I realize with a shock how underdeveloped my role in the mission has been. Where I have gotten only bits and pieces of information from Asteria, Kiana looks as if she could take on the entire mission herself. No wonder Mama has been singing her praises.
"This is...incredible," I admit.
"I still have a few more areas I need to document, and I need to triple-check the king and prince's schedule, but everything is progressing smoothly. Truthfully, I think we will be ready for the assassination in a month's time," she says.
I blink slowly. "That soon?"
"Yes. We don't have time to waste, Fetia. Were you even paying attention at the meeting today?"
"Yes. We need to be careful," I say. "If the Magnuvians are already suspicious—"
Her next words are eerily similar to my mother's and chill me to the bone. "Which is why we need to take action sooner rather than later. Otherwise they will continue recruiting soldiers from Landiani and other countries until we are all forced to die in their idiotic wars. Now, what is Asteria's schedule?"
"Pardon?"
"Back in Esterpool. Whoever will be responsible for killing the princess will need to be aware of her schedule," Kiana says.
I feel my stomach churn. "I would need to double check..."
"Well, what do you know now? Let's start by writing it down," Kiana says.
I cannot allow my sister to be suspicious. She will no doubt tell my mother if I am being noncompliant, and I know Mama is already excited for us to be scheming together this week, so I slowly give her bits and pieces of Asteria's schedule and describe the layout of Esterpool's estate, even though it hurts me to do so. Kiana nods thoughtfully, and we discuss late into the night.
"I'll need to head back soon," I tell Kiana after we have been studying the map for a few hours. "If the princess wakes up and sees I am missing--"
Kiana nods. "Tonight was progress. Meet me again tomorrow. Be punctual next time, please."
I nod and leave the closet before her to avoid any suspicion. I head back slowly to the princess's quarters. Once or twice I linger in the shadows as guards pass by, but my steps are light and nimble, and no one sees me as I return to the princess's bedchamber. When I sneak back into Asteria's room and glance at the clock, I see that nearly three hours have passed. I only hope she has not woken in that time.
I crawl into bed slowly, careful not to wake her. I lie on my back for a little while, hating how my heart feels like it's being torn into two. It felt like Kiana ripped that information from me tonight, but I know it was what I agreed to do to begin with. I glance over at Asteria, seeing her sleep peacefully. If what my sister said was true, she may become a corpse in a month's time. Tears well in my eyes, and I scoot closer to her, locking an arm around her waist and burying my face in her chest.
Asteria continues to sleep peacefully, which I am thankful for, as I would not have been able to explain my tears to her. I let the steady beat of her heart and the rise and fall of her chest lull me to sleep. They are a reminder that at least, for now, she is alive.