Aella (manxman) - ON HOLD - Chapter 24: Chapter 24

Cold...
Suddenly I felt the cold sneak into my body and reach my bones. This time of year, I usually don't use covers at night when I sleep. But it felt like I couldn't need them more right now. I folded my legs closer to me and hugged them. I waited to find some peaceful rest again, but the cold didn't subside.
I stirred in my sleep and I no longer felt the soft deer skin that Alev had given me to sleep on. Instead, the ground beneath me felt squishy and wet. I forced my eyes open only to see darkness. I pulled myself in a sitting position with difficulty and looked around me. I felt very dizzy for some reason and it was difficult to remain sitting.
Even at night, there was usually the shy rays of moonlight sneaking into Alev's den. But what alarmed me, was that I saw nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was the darkest I've ever seen. Not even a small shadow of anything around me.
"Alev?"
I asked hesitantly. When I received no response, I thought maybe he was asleep. I gulped and scolded myself silently for trying to wake my father from his sleep in the middle of the night. Yet the more I tried to calm myself, the more I got crept out by the obscurity that I felt was drowning me by the second.
As soon as the word 'drowning' came to mind, my hands and feet were becoming more and more soaked. I touched the ground around me and found it filled with water and mud. I couldn't see it, but somehow I knew the water was rising. It never reached my waist, but it felt like it was rising constantly making my breath quicken.
"A-Alev!" I yelled. Over and over, and yet no one answered me beside my voice that echoed to no end.
Still calling for him, I started to move my arms around me and reach to try and find him. My body felt too heavy to stand, and as soon as I was able to lift my knees off the ground, I slipped in the mud and fell right back down.
Finding it way too strange and starting to panic, I pulled myself across the mud, hoping to find the exit of the den. I only moved a little bit when my hands bumped into something.
A wall. Not the smooth wall of Alev's den. No, this one was harsh, uneven and covered with mud. I moved my hands alongside it. I kept following it for so long, but it never ended.
I decided to leave the wall and move away from it in hopes of finding anything that would lead me out. But as soon as I did, I was met with the same wall again. Confused, I tried again. But one step away from the wall, and it would slam into my palms once more. Terrified, I reached upwards as far as I could, but all I could find was more rough rocks and slippery mud. It felt like I was there for hours to no end and it was maddening.
I could hear the rain starting to fall down, but its voice didn't come from around me. It came from above. Droplets that sounded like angry rocks falling from the sky and breaking on a hard ground. But no matter how strong the rain got, no matter how much its noise drowned my voice, the rain itself didn't reach me.
And then I knew. I wasn't in Alev's den anymore. I wasn't in anyone's den. I was deep in the ground like a buried corpse. I was in some sort of a deep pit and it was closed.
"Ithel!!! Ithel help me, please! Ithel where are you"
I felt a sob threatening to break free, and just then, I heard something move. I lifted my head to see that whatever was blocking the pit I was in, it was being slowly pushed to the side. The rain broke free inside and with it a weak ray of sunshine sneaked in.
"Ithel?"
A shadow of a man appeared in the entrance above me. His face remained obscure to me. I reached my hand upwards for him
"Help me! Please, get me out!!"
The shadow didn't move. It didn't open the entrance completely nor closed it. I begged whoever it was feeling myself on the verge of breaking and giving up. Finally, the shadow moved and reached down for me. The pit was too deep and yet the more I willed myself towards him, the more I got closer to the exit. Just a bit more, just a bit more and I'll be able to get out
I almost touched the shadowed hand, when a stronger ray of sunshine sneaked from behind the man. As soon as I saw it, I felt like I was stabbed in the face. My eyes stung and hurt so badly, making me wince and close them immediately. But no matter how much I closed them, I could still see the light and it still assaulted me. I screamed and crouched on the muddy ground. I hid my face in my lap and pressed my palms on my eyes to soothe the pain away, but it only intensified.
"Stooop!" I wailed, "It hurts, the sun hurts!!!"
Without opening my eyes, I somehow knew. I could feel the shadow of the man move away from the entrance, and the object closing in and blocking my way out once more. I was slowly being plunged into the darkness and I yelled with all my might, still fighting the pain in my eyes.
"Don't leave me! I don't want to stay here! Alev! Ithel! Itheeeeeeel!!"
"CERI!"
My eyes shot open and darted around me in fear. I was heaving and I couldn't settle down. The first thing I came aware of, was the moonlight lightening the den. Then, I looked beside me and found Alev, holding my shoulders and scowling at me.
"Nightmares?", he asked.
I gulped and looked around me one more time, making sure I was back in the safety of his den. Then I wiped the sweat off my forehead and nodded. "Sorry"
He shook his head and went to grab some water. I sat up and drank the bowl to the last drop. He pushed me back to lay down.
"Don't apologize. I've had my fair share of those"
I stared at the ceiling. My eyes glancing towards the entrance every few seconds just to make sure. I couldn't close my eyes for more than a few seconds. The lack of light reminded me of the pit I found myself trapped in and the pain at the root of my eyes. The mere memory sent chills to my spine.
Instead of going back to his place and lying down, Alev sat close to me.
"You're safe with me."
"... I know"
He shifted, then sat back with a cloth in his hand. He wiped both my temples. "I will keep watch for the entrance. You can sleep"
I relaxed with the movement of his hand. "I'm not scared of the entrance. I just... want to make sure the moon is still there"
Alev chuckled lightly, still wiping my forehead slowly. "The moon will always be there for you, Ceri"
"I'm... not so sure"
"Did it disappear in your dream?"
Not exactly, but I nodded. I felt too tired to go through the nightmare, and my heart still sank whenever I remembered how my eyes felt like exploding under the pressure of the light.
"Sorry I woke you"
"I sleep very lightly. Also, I am used to not sleeping, sometimes at all. The lack of sleep doesn't bother me"
"That's cool"
He smiled and rested his arms on his half folded legs. We both watched the entrance silently. My eyes were heavy with sleep, but I didn't want to stop looking at the soft moonlight. It was very appeasing. And Alev kept watch, most probably to make me feel safe. I appreciated that a lot. It was a simple effort that warmed me to the core.
A small breath left him. I looked upwards to where he was sitting beside me. I thought he had gone to sleep, but I realized the breath was a small chuckle. He wasn't smiling, but I could tell from his features that he was thinking about something nice.
"What is it?" I asked curiously
"Nothing, just an old memory"
I looked the other way, and then back at him. "I want to know"
His eyebrows elevated slightly, amused by my nosiness. And his left hand patted my head, touching one of my unruly locks of hair between his fingers before removing his hand.
"Years ago I was told something about kids dreaming"
"Really? What?"
"An Aello friend just claimed his son. The boy was constantly dreaming about his mother. He would wake up in the middle of the night and crawl beside his father."
"He misses his mother"
He nodded.
"Did the Aello get angry?"
"No. It is expected for the children to find it difficult to part from their mothers. The Aello taught the kid to remain in his bed, even after waking up. He also made the boy train, run and play a lot during the evening, so he became exhausted and didn't wake up at night."
"That's good"
"It is. At the time the Aello was complaining about being awakened at night. And I...... I thought it would feel great to have my own son seek refuge beside me."
"Was that before you met my mother?"
His muscles twitched for a second, but his voice remained the same as he answered.
"No. It was after our second Agape"
He went silent for a long moment. I wanted to change the subject because whenever I brought her up, people would get upset and it sometimes got me in trouble. This time, however, I really wanted to know more, so I turned to lie on my right side and I took my chance
"Do you remember what she looked like?"
Alev sighed, his answer coming a minute later.
"I remember her every sunset and every sunrise."
I smiled. "I don't. They say some babies open their eyes and see right after being born. But I can't remember her face. Maybe I didn't open my eyes"
"She was beautiful and very feminine. She was more than any Aello could hope for. Losing her hurt me so deeply and in so many ways. But I never regret knowing her."
He looked down at me: "You take a lot after her."
"I do?" I perked up sat facing him. It felt so good to hear that. Drita and Halina both told me how much I looked like my mother, mostly Drita. But hearing it from Alev gave it another meaning.
"You have the same eyes and the same hair. You're also calm and shy, just like her"
"My mother was shy?"
"Dilara was so sensitive. Whenever I looked at her, she felt vulnerable and I wanted to be there for her. She didn't like people she didn't know, especially Aellos. She found it difficult to speak up or claim a mate. But with those she knew well, she was very kind and generous. As soon as she relaxed around me and didn't fear me anymore, I discovered the beautiful and lively side of her."
My mother was shy around people... I am not a coward, I just... I take after my mother! Somehow, that made me feel a lot better about myself.
"I never wanted to let her go"
I held his forearm. "No one had ever told me so much about her. I keep her hidden in my heart, but I never really knew who she was. I would give up anything to have memories of her"
His frown deepened with how heavy our hearts felt.
"I do not talk often. I used to like my silence. Then Dilara taught me to express myself. I never even gave much thought about my own feelings before her. That's who your mother was. Shy and sweet, but she was able to teach me many things about the world and about me." He sighed, and then continued. "I will tell you anything you want to know, Ceri. Whether it was about hunting, feeding, training, or your mother. I will not be silent with you, just like I learned not to be silent with Dilara."
"You loved her"
"I still do"
A haunted look takes over him and it reminded me of how Halina would gaze aimlessly at the ground whenever anyone came remotely close to mentioning my mother. I turned to the entrance of the cave and realized that it was close to dawn. The den was a bit more illuminated, but my eyes didn't hurt. I shook my head to chase the awful memory of that nightmare away.
"Alev"
He looked my way and I continued. "Did......... did you wish for a stronger son?"
He frowned. "You are strong"
"Maybe... I mean, someone like..."
"Like?"
"Like Aleksy, or Ithel"
"Why would I want you to be like them. You are you."
His words soothed my heart, but they weren't very convincing. I knew I wasn't like many of the other Aellos.
"Actually, I got exactly what I wished for. I got a son who resembles Dilara."
So you don't wish to exchange me for another? I almost asked, but chose not to.
"I don't think any Aello my age gets scared by nightmares..."
"Everyone can have nightmares, Ceri. No matter their age."
"Do you... get nightmares?"
He seemed to consider my question before he answered a moment later. "For years. Yes."
"Years? What were they about? Did you dream about bears?"
Bears would be a very good reason to have nightmares. Drita told me they could be even harder to kill than tigers!
"It was after I learned about your mother's death"
"Oh... And how did the bad dreams stop?"
"I stopped sleeping"
I tilted my head, thinking about that. He said it like it was the most normal thing. But one can't stop sleeping. I most certainly can't. So, what if I keep having nightmares for a long time!
"It is dawn. Would you like to go back to sleep?"
"No. I'm fully awake now."
"Would you like to go for a walk? Dawn will help you clear your mind and cleanse your spirit"
"Yes, please! I would love that!"
Alev nodded and we both headed for a beautiful early walk in the forest.
~~~~~~~~
Ithel
It was almost midday now. I quickened my pace as I was very eager to see him again. Last night was simply out of this world, and I couldn't wait to have him in my arms again.
I stepped towards their den and found Ceri squealing happily.
"You did well, young Aello. That is a very good prey", Cailyn said. I wondered why he was here and I even considered turning around and disappearing for now. But soon, he has already seen me and it was too late. He looked confused and not very happy to see me. "Ithel? You're back"
"Leader"
"Ithel!" I grinned to my Aella as he yelled my name and hurried towards me. I wanted to kiss him so badly, but both Alev and Cailyn were staring, so I only hugged him. As he pulled back, I noticed the glimmer of excitement in his pretty eyes and I felt instantly cheerful. "Happy morning?"
His smile widened and he was almost jumping up and down from the excitement. "You'll never believe it, Ithel! A rabbit! A big rabbit! I caught one!! On my own, I swear!!"
He pulled me to see the rabbit that was in Ceri's cage. I feigned surprise and gasped. "Did you catch it with the trap you made?"
" I did!!!"
Cailyn was laughing at Ceri's reaction, and Alev was looking at me sideways. Oh, he definitely suspected something.
I woke up before dawn this morning and went out to hunt. I was looking for a deer to give to the healer and pay back Ceri's debt, but before I could find any, I saw a rabbit. I remembered Ceri's words yesterday and the way he cried because he didn't believe he would make a good hunter. So I thought the rabbit might help.
I know that Alev would not approve at all. I do not intend to make it a habit of lying at Ceri, but once in a while would not be bad for his spirit. I mean, look at how beautiful he is. His smile is radiating with happiness, it was so deliciously contagious.
I avoided Cailyn's questions about me sailing back so soon, and I went to skin the rabbit and prepare it for a meal. Ceri ended up on my side wanting to help. It felt amazing to teach him because he found everything I said interesting.
A bit later, Ceri was busy cleaning the skin when Alev and Cailyn walked closer to me. I was crouching over the prey and they were both glaring down at me.
"I found the trace of footsteps around Ceri's traps", Alev announced. "Why do you think that is?"
"Well, Ceri was there"
"Aside from Ceri."
I smiled up at him. "You were there as well"
Alev sighed, but before he could add anything, Cailyn took over. "I thought I told you to stay away for a while. A long while"
It was my turn to sigh. I liked my Leader and respected him, but he can be very annoying. "I did leave."
"And you are already back! I told you I will send for you when the time comes."
When I didn't comment, he continued. "Have you found what I want?"
"I got you the pearls"
I handed him a wrapped leather cloth. He grabbed it and opened it, going through the pearls inside.
"Black?"
"No."
"Then why did you come back?"
I stood up and glared back at him. "I am free to do as I want"
Cailyn looked surprised at my determination. And I admit I was a bit surprised as well. I'm usually a very calm and patient person, but somehow this 'leaving' matter has managed to anger me.
Alev frowned and turned to Cailyn. "You sent him to find you pearls?"
Cailyn shrugged. "Being the leader of this charming clan, I cannot leave this island for long. Besides, I'm the Leader! Stop questioning your Leader!"
Alev raised a brow. "When you say that, you already know you're asking for too much"
"I am not." And he turned his gaze back to me. "Also, I am practically a father to you, Ithel"
I almost laughed, but that would be too impolite, so I held back. "And if my real father was still alive and he asked me to leave, I would tell him to mind his own life."
"Are you disrespecting your Leader, Aello?"
"I will not spend my days looking for a pearl so you could offer to your Aella. I have my own Agape to prepare for!"
Cailyn scoffed. "Since when did you care about your Agape?"
"Since now! I do respect you Cailyn, but I will not sail to another island to get you pearls"
"You know exactly why I asked you to sail, and it wasn't because of presents to the Aellas"
Yes. You want me to leave so that Ceri wouldn't be distracted by me.
I looked away and my eyes caught sight of Ceri who had stopped taking care of the rabbit's skin and was now staring at us worriedly.
I left the grumpy Aellos and went to him. I squatted down and helped him with his cleaning. Alev went to start the fire and roast the meat. I could hear him from where Ceri and I sat.
"You're sending Aellos to do your work. You're getting old"
"I'm not! I'm the Leader!"
Alev scoffed, which made Cailyn even more eager to defend his strength and virility.
So maybe I am a distraction to Ceri. Maybe he does need to spend time with his father and get to know him the best he could. But... what about me?
When Alev claimed him, I knew I couldn't just take him with me and go home. I knew I needed to be patient and I silently vowed that everything I would do, will be for his sake. But... I just want to be with him. I feel it in my heart and my soul that his place is in my den! And yet I let him live with his father without complaint. That is all the patience I can offer. I know Alev deserves to be with Ceri, but I am alone too. I waited all my life for an Aella that can move my heart, and now Cailyn wants me to simply forget about him and stay away?
I simply can't. I will make myself scarce, but I cannot leave.
He is my purpose now. My heart wouldn't stop yearning for him, and the Leader cannot stop me from being around him.
"Hey..." Ceri's tentative hand grabbed my forearm, "Is the Leader upset with you?"
"No, don't worry about him"
"...... I'm sorry"
I stopped cleaning and turned to find eyes filled with concern. I smiled at him. "There's nothing to apologize for"
He gave me a sad smile. He was aware of Cailyn's real intentions. Maybe I shouldn't have informed him of that. My only thought at the time was to explain the reason behind my long disappearance.
"I'm really happy that you're here, though, I don't want you to leave", he whispered. And the sincerity in his eyes was all I needed to forget about the grumpy Leader. I leaned closer to him and whispered back. "I want to give you such a long kiss right now"
His cheeks flared instantly and I laughed at his adorable reaction. I even expected him to pull away from me because of his shyness. Yet my sweet Aella was more daring than I thought. He looked aside towards his father and Leader, making sure they didn't hear us, and then he brought his lips close to my ear.
"And I want to lick your tongue"
My whole body responded to his mischievous green eyes. My groin awakened and I was left speechless. I bit my lower lip as he pulled away and smiled seductively, the heat never leaving his pretty cheeks.
My heavens, I wanted him.
I wanted him in every way. As an everyday companion, a secret lover, and a claimed mate. And I wanted him in his innocent way as well as the real mating ritual.
If only people knew how precious he was to me, no one would dare suggest he wasn't mine to keep.