Aella (manxman) - ON HOLD - Chapter 30: Chapter 30

The day I spent with Ithel was so great, it changed many things for me. First, it made me love him even more. He's so smart and he knows so many things about life. He's so wise, I don't believe I could ever become like him. Second, as we exhausted ourselves by playing and chasing fish, I forgot all the tension and anxiety from my visit to the Aellas. And that made me confident that the next time Cailyn needed me, I will relay his message. After Ithel explained it to me and after discussing things with him, I totally agree with him. Aellas may be panicking a little too much, but they are right about wanting to protect themselves from the Aellos. For some reason, their rejection of me felt less painful now that I understood them a little bit better. Third, and most importantly, for the next month, I spent more days with Ithel. Alev was always against it, but he never refused my request. I don't ask any other thing from him, though. And I did my best to behave and learn what he taught me in hopes that the next time I ask to spend a night with Ithel, he wouldn't deny it.
Many of the Aellos knew about my visit to the Aellas now. Some even came by Alev's den to ask or even to command me to tell them the reason behind my visit and what exactly happened. Alev told them what I couldn't voice out loud, he told them to go ask Cailyn and to never show on his territory again.
After a while, Cailyn called for me again. This time, he asked me to accompany him and a few other Aellos and we carried many gifts to the Aellas' territory. This time, I didn't venture into their territory. I remained with them and we signaled to the Aellas using the red powder. A while later, a few Aella hunters showed up.
Cailyn greeted them enthusiastically and asked about Leader Sosanbra's opinion. It was Rhonwen who answered him, "Sosanbra, Leader of the Aella clan, sends you her respect and prayers of good health. She discussed the matter with the members of our clan, including the elders and the hunters. She regretfully informs you that we decline your suggestion. Leader Sosanbra believes this will not affect our treaty of peace, and relies on your wisdom and understanding."
The kind and playful Leader disappeared so quickly and was replaced by an angry one. Leader Cailyn didn't even answer Rhonwen. He glared at her for a moment before turning around and leaving silently. The Aellos, myself included, followed him of course. But the bad news was that the Aellos did not deliver the gifts and they carried them back instead.
We went to the Aello village and found many waiting for us, including Alev. The news had traveled about Cailyn's suggestion, and I heard one of the Aellos say that this wasn't a good sign, the Agape was approaching and being at odds with the Aellas may not lead to a smooth mating season. Many others joined in, saying they didn't need to prepare for this Agape, that the Aellas will just need to suffer and learn.
They wanted to hurt the Aellas like the Aellas hurt them. I found that very saddening and completely against Cailyn's original intentions. But the Leader didn't seem to see that yet.
Once the commotion dissipated, I dared to approach Cailyn.
"You're not needed today anymore, kid. You can go home"
Alev pulled me away and we left. I couldn't help but feel heavy-hearted about all of this. And because I kept bothering me so much, three days later, I went to see Leader Cailyn again.
He was in a slightly better mood, but as soon as he saw me he scowled. I knew that look all too well. It's the look of someone remembering something they didn't want to think about.
"I'm not giving the Aellas their gifts. Let them try to spend the next year with only what the hunters bring them."
I remained silent. I hadn't said a word, and he was already refusing. Alev didn't like his attitude, though.
"You're the one who insisted on getting him involved in this. Don't talk to him like it's his fault!"
I shrank back and Leader Cailyn glared at Alev. For a second, I thought this was about to get serious, but the Leader sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Then he sat down on a couple of tiger skins, looking away in deep thought.
Alev was soon out of patience. He gestured for me to leave, but I couldn't simply forget and live like my clan wasn't going to suffer. So I went to kneel and bend low before the Leader who looked slightly surprised.
"Leader-"
"This is not your fault, Aello. The Aellas brought this on themselves."
"M-maybe we could try something else?"
"Like what!"
"I-I don't know, but we could find another way-"
"They're not even willing to negotiate. There is no other way."
"... But Leader, what we offered... it was just a suggestion-"
"Sosanbra should know better! I'm the Leader of this tribe! My suggestions are commands. I may be wise and merciful enough not to punish them heavily for this, but I am certainly not going to be generous to them anymore."
His voice held such finality that I found difficult to argue with. I gulped and closed my eyes to find enough courage to keep trying.
"Y-you are a wise and generous Leader. I... I didn't know you for a long time, b-but H-Halina told me that you are very kind and trustworthy." I peered to find his eyebrow elevating and he breathed in proudly. I guessed he wasn't angry with me, so I continued, "The Aellas are scared. I sincerely don't know if their decision is wise or not-"
"It's not."
I shrugged. I didn't understand these matters well enough to judge. But I will definitely have a clear opinion once I discuss this with Ithel and he explains to me what he thinks so I could think it.
"Leader Cailyn, you told me your intention is to bring the clans closer, that is why we reached out to them in the first place. Others may not know this, but you told me you intend to accomplish so much more than just letting the children meet their fathers. I... I think Aellas would be more responsive to tenderness and patience. Please give them another chance? The Aellas trust you, Leader. It's the other Aellos they fear."
"So they believe I cannot control those tigers!?"
I definitely did not mean it like that. He sounded angry again and words evaded me to fix the misunderstanding. Alev must've sensed my struggle so he took a step closer to the Leader and glowered at him.
"He didn't say that! Stop making him feel bad for actually caring! I told him not to come here today and yet here he is, trying to help."
"Well, the Aellas don't want help."
Alev scoffed and shook his head in disappointment. "He's trying to help you! You're the one who failed because you're pushing the Aellas way too hard and you wouldn't back or slow down. And all of this is for some dream of harmony that you have."
"What I see are not dreams! They're a vision of the future of this tribe!!"
"Keep your vision away from my son", Alev said. Then he grabbed my arm and yanked me to stand. He walked outside the Leader's den none so happily and dragged me with him. I looked at his frown and whispered an apology, "I-I'm sorry"
He shook his head as to say that it wasn't my fault. Before I could even attempt to calm my father or slow him down, I heard the Leader calling from within his den.
"Aello Ceri!"
I halted immediately and Alev did so as well. He sighed in frustration and ran a hand over his face to keep from yelling back at our Leader. I looked at Alev apologetically and hesitantly walked back into the den.
"Fine.", the Leader said with irritation. When I frowned in confusion, he beckoned me to sit before him. "You got the Aellas their second chance."
I couldn't hide my surprise and I bowed to him, "Thank you, Leader!"
"Kind and trustworthy, huh?"
I smiled and he continued after a moment of silence, "These times are very important to our tribe. You will leave tomorrow. I don't want this matter to wait any longer, especially now that the Aellos know about this."
I didn't understand why the Aellos knew, though. The Leader made sure to keep it a secret from everyone, but then he went and told the others. It didn't seem like he didn't know what he was doing, which left me to think that he was really smart.
"One condition." I was brought out of my thoughts to find him leaning closer to me and glaring deeply, scarily, "I will no longer wait for Sosanbra's divine decision. You'll come back immediately and you'll have her answer with you. If she refuses to obey me once more, you'll tell her that they will receive nothing from our clan for the next three years. Even on the Agape, the Aellos will carry nothing to their territory, and the Aellas will leave with only what they can carry from the den to their mountain! Let's see how they're going to get enough food to cover the winters, or enough healing herbs to keep the children alive against the cold. Some herbs don't even grow on this island. We sail to find them and bring them to her clan! But no more. Tell her that when the next winter comes, she will beg me to keep the children."
I gulped and his voice deepened even more, "You will inform them of my decision and walk out without another word. I am moving forward with this tribe with or without their consent. But they will decide their own fate. They can be spoiled and cherished clan members, or forced and beaten to obedience."
When I came out of my state of shock, I nodded quickly, bowed and hurried to leave. I walked past Alev who started to follow me, but then decided against it and turned to Cailyn again.
"If you blame him one more time for something he has little to do with, you can forget about him being your messenger. And I don't care if he has to take the Prueba test. The other Aellos will just have to wait until he's ready and you'll have to find your own ways of contacting the Aellas."
~~~~~~
Okay. So maybe asking for a second chance for the Aellas wasn't the best thing to do. Or was it?
I didn't know anymore. I spent my whole life with the Aellas and I am very aware of how important the Aellos' gifts are. They are not just ornaments to make Aellas look pretty and spite each other, they're essential to their survival. Aella-hunters cannot feed the entire clan all year, especially not during the cold winters when the preys are less. Their clan will never admit it, but without the gifts, it would be difficult for them to maintain their independence. The Aellos help because they want to keep their children and mates alive. They also want to look good and generous to the Aellas so they get chosen on the next Agape.
But what if the Aellas refused again? What if they don't agree on Cailyn's terms?
The Leader didn't look like the kind to go back on his word. For some reason, I remembered the feeling I got the first time I met Cailyn. The feeling of dominance that he gave, with his large muscles and drawings on his body. He may have been nice to me and even playful at times, but when he threatened the Aellas...... he looked so scary. He looked like a Leader of a strong tribe, ordering and punishing those who disobeyed without mercy.
No, not without mercy. Leader Cailyn may be strong and dominant, but he's kind. He gave the Aellas a second chance. I just hope they took it. Because this act of mercy came with an even worse punishment. Three years without food or animal skins or healing herbs...
Did I cause this? Did I push the Leader to threaten the other clan with such a horrible fate?
Or did he plan this punishment before I even spoke to him?
I would never know. I wish I could talk to Ithel about this because he knew exactly what to say to make things easier to understand. Ithel is so smart, and brave, and so so so handsome.
I sighed, for many reasons.
So here I was, once again, bowing to Alev and venturing into the Aellas' territory.
~~~~~~~
"He's actually making you his messenger"
Aella-hunter Trin said as she walked behind me. She had jumped out of nowhere and grabbed my throat minutes after I entered their territory. I was startled and immediately told her that I meant no harm. She let go of me, looking more amused than angry or on guard.
I didn't answer her, just kept walking. Her statement was heavy with mockery and I didn't want her to find anything I said insulting. The holy spirits know I didn't need a third Aella-hunter to hate me.
"You know, there's one thing Cailyn is wrong about for choosing you to do this.", when I didn't answer she continued. This time her voice was very close to my ear and it made a shiver ride my skin.
"You are weak"
"I... I'm training-"
"You are no better than the day you left us. Look at you," she touched my back, then my arms and thighs with the harmless side of her spear, "No muscle, no agility or speed, and still you walk around alone like you could protect yourself."
"I'm learning to-"
"You are not safer here than you are walking around in the other clan's territory. If not for your father, you would've been eaten alive already, and not by animals"
I gulped and hurried my pace, but she was still behind me, poking my body here and there in displeasure with her spear.
I was relieved to reach the Aella's mountain and I was certain I had small bruises on the back of my arms and legs from Trin's spear. This time, I was received with awkward hesitation from most of the Aellas. They didn't welcome me, nor demanded I'd be thrown off the mountain like the last time. Even the Aella-hunters that were present didn't push me or make me stumble. Instead, they were all eyeing me warily. I guess they weren't happy about Cailyn's decision to take back the gifts and they were cautious about whatever news I came to deliver.
Despite the awkwardness towards me, a few welcomed me warmly, including my sweet cousins and Halina. But I had almost no time at all to talk to them as I was instantly led to Sosanbra. Just like the last time, the main Aellas' cave was cleared of everyone except a few young children here and there, and Sosanbra ordered the hunters to wait outside.
"I guess you're not here to tell me that Cailyn is apologizing for stealing the gifts that the Aellos brought to us."
I was kneeling in respect to her, and after I heard her, I didn't want to look up. But after a long moment of silence, I had to straighten and sit on my heels. Leader Sosanbra sighed and waved her hand dismissively.
"Let him have his childish revenge. The Agape is near and the Aellas will get what they need from their mates."
I lowered my eyes. By the spirits names, what could I do now? The Aellas are proud and even haughty at times, they're expecting an apology?
No, I realized. Leader Sosanbra may be saying that, but the looks on the Aellas' faces told otherwise. They're aware of the meaning behind Leader Cailyn being angry with them. They may not yet be aware of the gravity of the situation, but they definitely know something might go wrong from here on.
"What is it?"
"Huh?"
"You look hesitant and uncomfortable, well, more than usual."
"Um..."
"You want to say something?"
"N-no, Leader, I...... I can't say."
She frowned and studied me for a few seconds before scrunching her nose, "You're here to deliver a message, aren't you?"
"Um... actually, I'm more here to take a message from you to Leader Cailyn"
Her eyes widened in anger and she stood up and closed the distance between us, looking down at me with a sneer, "He expects me to BEG??"
Yes, please?
"N-no, he w-w-wishes you'd reconsider-"
"He's the one who should reconsider! I'm not going to force the women to send their children beyond our frontier, to a land where even our hunters cannot venture within, just because the almighty Leader decided to throw our laws and traditions into the cold sea!"
"L-Leader, please-"
"You came to me with a suggestion, Ceri. I discussed it openly with all Aellas and they agree this is very risky for the children. We are happy and comfortable with the way things are. We do not wish to change them! Go tell that to your Leader."
Her voice resonated inside the cave and it sounded even scarier with the echo. I waited for the silence to settle peacefully, then risked raising my head to look up at her angry eyes.
"L-Leader, you once asked me if you could trust me. I thought about it carefully and I believe I am no more loyal to Leader Cailyn than I am to you, Leader Sosanbra. You are both equally important to our tribe and I want nothing more than to live in a peaceful and happy tribe."
"Cailyn is not as honest and straightforward as you are, Ceri. And if he thinks he could pressure or threaten us using you, he's very wrong"
"No, Leader. I think he knows I'm not very threatening. But I think that's also why I made it here without being killed by the hunters. Leader Cailyn sent me to give you a second chance to rethink your decision-"
"The Aellas will not change their mind. And frankly, why would we? We are happy to keep the children safe with us. We cannot help but deliver the boys to the other clan once they're claimed, but the girls and the younger boys will remain with us."
She turned and walked away while adding, "Tell that to your Leader. Now leave."
My hands clamped on my knees as I realized that I had failed. I failed to make the Aellas change their mind. Cailyn will be furious, he will look scary and actually deny the Aellas most their resources for three years!
"Hey, what's wrong with you?"
I looked up to find Leader Sosanbra eyeing me with a raised eyebrow. I opened my mouth, but my tongue felt so heavy. I stared at her with the words stuck in my throat.
"Ceri?"
I tried to talk, but I couldn't say it. I just couldn't
"Wha-! Why are you crying??"
When she asked I realized that my vision was getting blurrier by the second. I tried to suck the tears back inside, but I ended up crying even harder. Now I was wailing, shoulders trembling as I rubbed my eyes with my forearm to make the tears stop running.
Sosanbra sighed helplessly, and then she walked back and sat down in her place. She half folded her leg and rested an arm on her knee, while watching me with disinterest and waiting for me to calm down.
"Stop crying or Halina might barge in here thinking I hit you or something."
I sniffled and tried to compose myself. I looked away to wipe my tears and saw two children who stopped playing and were now eyeing me curiously. They were adorable, but they will not have enough food and clothes next winter. They may get sick and they won't have enough healing herbs to feel better, and-and they will die! All because I failed to convince the Aellas
"What's wrong" Sosanbra asked with a bored voice. I had finally expressed my thoughts. I told her everything I was thinking, but I was still crying. And after a couple minutes, she raised her eyebrow
"All I got from that was that you failed and a headache."
I pouted. I thought I had finally spoken out loud about everything. "Leader C-Cailyn..."
"Cailyn?..." her voice trailed, like a mother encouraging her child to confess to a mistake
"I-I'm supposed to give you a m-message now. But I can't"
"Didn't you already do that?"
I shook my head and wiped my tears again, "No... th-...there's another"
Her eyes narrowed and she looked pensing for a moment before a weak bitter smile tugged her lips, "He's punishing us"
I looked down. It was a statement and not a question. Leader Sosanbra did indeed know Cailyn too well. She knew this may happen, and now it was becoming a reality
"What is it this time? I'm certain he wouldn't call off the Agape. That would be a punishment for his Aellos as well."
I shook my head. "It's not the Agape... I cannot say..." I was supposed to throw Cailyn's decision in their faces firmly and then walk away without looking behind. I cannot do that to them, "But it's harsh. Please, Leader, please reconsider-"
"I already did and gave you my final decision!"
I shrank back and looked down at my shaking hands. I will never be part of something that would hurt the Aellas. The young women and the children would suffer a lot from this! And...... Epona and Vreis...
I may not be their real brother, but I feel like it. Deep in my heart, they will always be my precious little brother and sister.
Cailyn refuses to be turned down, and Sosanbra refuses to concede.
If I cannot deliver Cailyn's threats nor convince Sosanbra to back down, what will I do?
And that question transformed in my mind very easily, it became where will I go?
I cannot live with the Aellas again, and I cannot go back and tell Cailyn I failed him... Would the Aellos demand I went to the Prueba now? But my father would never let me. Everyone says it was too dangerous and that I wasn't yet ready for it. Will my father be able to protect me? Will he fight with the Aellos because of this??
...
Ithel... I need your advice so much right now
Ithel would definitely know what to do. He would tell me not to be anxious, not to care what others may think and to speak my mind. He would tell me that I am brave and interesting. But he would also ask me to care for myself more and not bother with the clan if they're troublesome. Ithel is so wise-
"Ceri." The Leader's impatient voice brought me to realize that I was silent for a long moment. We stared at each other a little. Her trying to guess if I was going to weep again, and I was trying to figure a way out of this.
"Leader." I puffed my chest and decided to do what Ithel would have told me, to speak from the heart. So I gathered my resolve and didn't look away or cower. "Leader Sosanbra, I am way too ignorant to think of a way out. I know nothing about how the clans should deal with each other. But I know that fighting with the Aellos will only bring harm to the Aellas. So please, trust me when I ask this"
"Why are you saying that? Does Cailyn intend to do something else??"
"...... I can't say. He ordered me to leave once I said it and not to stop for any reason or look back. I understand the Aellas didn't want this, but please, Leader, don't fight with the other clan. Please, do it for the children"
She was frowning at first, but then her eyes darkened slightly and she sneered. "He's denying us next winter's offerings, isn't he?"
I bit my lip and remained silent. The Leader looked disgusted with the Aellos now.
"He would risk the lives of many just to prove that he's the one with the most power?? That is so pathetic of him"
I flinched and looked away. I didn't hear that, I told myself, I didn't hear that.
"TRIN!" she suddenly yelled. I jumped in my place, but then I made sure I was sitting properly and respectfully. When the Aella walked closer, she smirked my way and dangled one of her weapons between her fingers. "Want me to get rid of that?"
I gulped. Sosanbra simply ignored her comment and ordered her. "Bring me Lereen, Ula, Drita, Rhonwen, and Moina. I need to consult with them before making a decision."
"What about Halina?"
"No. Halina is too close to this matter in more than a way. Her judgment may become tainted. She will wait outside with everyone else."
Soon, the few children in the cave were escorted outside, and the people Sosanbra called for gathered. Elder Ula was the first one I saw. She sneered and went to strike me angrily if not for Moina and elder Lereen, who asked her politely to mind her behavior in front of the Leader. Rhonwen was next. She strutted in with her spear in her hand, and she came to stand right behind me, which suddenly made me want to pee. The last to come inside was Drita.
The last time we spoke, we had fought. As brave as I was back then, I didn't think of the day we would meet again. Right now, I kind of regretted acting so audaciously towards her. Drita was one of the most feared hunters in our clan, and I actually don't remember ever hearing anyone speak to her with less than full respect and caution.
I peered her way and saw her walk in and stand close. She didn't look at me, though. And I didn't know if that was alarming or relieving.
I was startled by Rhonwen's spear hitting the ground right beside me, just before her annoyed voice raised from behind me. "What has he done this time?"
"I need to reconsider my decision about Cailyn's suggestion."
Ula didn't receive that with an open heart. "We already gave them our decision!"
The discussion was quite long and heated. Sosanbra explained that, unlike last time, this time she didn't want to include everyone in the decision because it would lead the clan to a chaotic episode of yelling and turmoil. Ula was practically against everything and everyone. Moina was a gentle voice of reason, but since she wasn't an Elder nor a hunter, they didn't listen to her much. Rhonwen was convinced that everything was my fault. Moina tried to point out that I was only a messenger chosen by Leader Cailyn, but Rhonwen refused to see reason. Elder Lereen was blaming me as well, but in a more general way. She hated me for being on the Aellos' side and saw that as a betrayal. Despite repeatedly asking Ula to be more respectful before the Leader, Elder Lereen did agree with her that my existence was part of the problem. Despite not being fatherless anymore, I was the product of a sin and the whole clan is suffering because I wouldn't stop breathing.
The conversation was heated, but one remained silent, almost the whole time. I discretely looked to my right, slightly above my shoulder. Drita was standing there grimly, listening to everyone argue. Her eyes dropped to me and she frowned a little. Despite her angry stance and featured, the was a hint of concern brimming beneath her hardened look.
I quickly looked away. It took me a moment to realize that she noticed I was crying. So I discretely wiped my cheeks.
I said nothing. Not even when Rhonwen tried to force me to tell about Cailyn's promised punishment. I was very afraid of her, but I didn't want to shame my father by disobeying the Leader. So I remained quiet and let Sosanbra deal with Rhonwen's hostile behavior, as Sosanbra called it.
The heated conversation went on for a while and I didn't even listen to most of it. I was too focused on the hunter standing behind me with the spear in her hand. In the end, Moina and Lereen believed it was best to accept Cailyn's offer. Rhonwen and Ula were totally against it, especially the Elder. And when Drita ignored all of us and turned to Sosanbra and clearly stated that we needed the Aellos' help to ensure our survival, Sosanbra's decision needed no further consultation. She sighed heavily and asked me to stand.
"Go tell your Leader that the Aellas have reconsidered, and will accept to let a few children see their fathers. But we will set our own rules in the matter. Also, we ask that he fortifies the guard to our frontier and makes sure no Aellos breaches it. We feel lately that our claim to our territory is being taken lightly and we ask that he reminds his clan to properly abide by the rules."
I nodded quickly and bowed low to her.
"Now leave immediately. You are also forbidden from discussing anything whatsoever with Halina. The Aellas find it unfair that you get to talk to her freely while they cannot see their own."
I didn't notice Aella-hunter Trin coming towards me until she grabbed my arm and pushed me to walk in front of her, heading outside the cave. I was met with curious questions and interrogations, but what interested me the most, was Halina's immediate hug. Despite the Leader's warning, I hugged her back quickly before I was forced to say goodbye.
Trin accompanied me back to the Aellos' territory. It was a long walk, but I was so happy to leave this time, especially that I found the most handsome Aello waiting for me with a bright smile.
Ithel held my hand and pulled me to his side. He bowed his head slightly for Trin and thanked her. Then we walked away and headed to Alev's den.
"You look exhausted."
"I do?"
"You're also very silent. Are you alright?"
"Um... I think so"
He chuckled and stopped walking, pulling me to halt as well. "What happened this time? Did anyone hurt you?"
"No, I'm fine."
He stared at me and then pulled me into a good tight hug.
"I'm glad you're back safely. No matter what they say or what happens, everything will be fine."
I sniffled. I hid my face in his shoulder and nodded.
"What matters, Ceri, is that you're an amazing person and you're not alone. Your father and I will always support you. Even if the Aellas don't agree with Cailyn, that's their problem to handle and their failure, not yours"
"I didn't fail...... I think"
"They agreed to Cailyn's suggestion?"
I nodded. "They weren't easy to convince, but I spoke to the Leader wisely and convinced her"
Yeah, wisely. With tears and snot.
"That is great! That's what you wanted, right?"
"I don't know if this is a good thing or not. What if something happens to the children? What if one of them gets hurt or goes missing? What if an Aello takes a child and doesn't give him back??"
Ithel chuckled. "You're thinking like them." He said with a smile, then he added defensively. "Not that it's a bad thing! I actually like it when you worry about others. You become so cute"
He caressed my cheeks with his thumbs, confirming my rising blush.
"How about we go home and give you something to eat, I'm sure you're hungry by now."
"I'm starving!"
"Great!" we resumed walking, with our hands locked together. "I brought you the fish you like. I'll prepare it while you tell Alev and Cailyn about what happened."
"Cailyn is in Alev's den?"
"Yeah. I went to see you earlier, but found them arguing. It seems Alev didn't like the way Cailyn spoke with you. So I left them and came to wait for you."
"Thank you for getting me. It's getting dark and the forest gets a bit scary. But with you, dark feels nice"
He laughed and kissed my temple.
"Like I said, Ceri. No matter your choices, no matter what happens,
I'll be with you all the way."