Aella (manxman) - ON HOLD - Chapter 33: Chapter 33

"What do you mean he's not here!!"
I felt completely dumbfounded as I took in the anger in eyes. It was like flickering flames that wanted to take my soul. But what struck me even more, was the underlying fear in his voice. And the fear soon took control of me as well, making me stutter, probably for the first time in my life
"H-he's with you! You took him back!"
"Don't play games with me, Ithel. He left his home to stay with you for a couple of days. I had followed him until he arrived safely here, so I know for sure that you have him. I let him breathe in peace, but now I want him to come back home. So you better stop lying-"
"You mean you didn't come get him yesterday??"
He looked confused for a second before his anger came back ten folds and he grabbed a hand full of my clothes to glare at me closer. "If I had him, why would I be here!!"
"...... N-no........ you're supposed to have him-"
"Stop saying that!!" He shoved me aside and my back collided with the wall of the entrance to my den. I didn't feel pain, nor anger. I was unable to feel of think. I just followed Alev with my eyes as he looked once more inside, as if he could've missed Ceri earlier. My den contained more things than it used to, but it wasn't enough to hide someone.
Alev immediately walked outside and started yelling Ceri's name. I stepped out to see him climbing down the big gray rocks and continuously looking around him.
This can't be happening...It just can't... I-I cannot lose him! I don't even get what's going on so suddenly!!
By the time I started awakening from mentally beating myself up, Alev had toured the southern region close to where we were and he head right back to me. This time he wasn't looking around anymore, he was pacing towards me like a lion with menacing eyes.
I knew he didn't believe that I wasn't hiding his son. But we had no time to discuss that now, so I raised my hands to stop him and spoke the calmest I could manage, which at least succeeded in making him slow down and think before hitting me.
"I am not hiding him and I would Never lure Ceri away from his father. But... this is still my fault." His eyes narrowed at me and his frown deepened. He was clearly agreeing with me, but we both realized what that meant. "He was in my care when this happened and I'll take responsibility, but that's not important now. If Ceri is not with me or you, then he might be in actual danger. In that case, we need to figure this out right away"
Alev sighed heavily and in a second, all the rage on his face disappeared. Like a mask dropping to reveal immense concern. He started pacing slowly, looking around him and trying to figure out what to do best. And I hoped he knew because I was so tormented by fear and guilt that I still wanted to debate if this was actually happening.
"Alev, do you think Cailyn called for him? Maybe he wanted to send him to the Aellas again"
"No. Cailyn and I have an agreement, a firm one. He is not to take my son unless I gave him permission."
"Still... we should check with him first, and your den too"
"I came from my den!"
"I don't know, maybe Ceri took a different path, or... got lost between here and there-"
"He wouldn't come to me in the first place! That was why he left, to be with you!"
"Yes, but as soon as he told me about it, he regretted being disrespectful to you"
"...... He wasn't disrespectful. He was just stubborn. And he kept asking why" He wiped a hand down his face in frustration before he continued, "What if he left to be away from me"
I shook my head. "That is impossible. He hates the way you two parted yesterday and he wanted to get back to you."
"Then where is he!!!"
Remember. I needed to remember exactly what happened. I strained my mind to find anything that would hint to Ceri's disappearance or any danger of some kind. This was mostly to try and find him, but a part of me wanted to find something that was my fault. Something to blame myself with and to torture me for losing him.
My heart thumped so fast in my chest as my head went wild with all the things that could hurt him out there. I moved to face Alev who was still deep in thought, trying to imagine where Ceri would leave to. I've never seen him look so distraught in my life, and his eyes, just like mine, held so much culpability.
"I have faith in Ceri. Before I left, he agreed to wait for me and that I would take him back to you like he wished. So I believe he would never leave to anywhere without telling you or me-"
"You think someone took him??"
I hesitated, not just to admit it to Alev, but to myself as well. He didn't wait for me to answer, though, as he continued. "Or he could've wandered for any reason and hurt himself! An animal could've attacked him, or even an Aello for all we know!!"
"That's why we need help. We need to look for him as quickly as possible. You start with the Leader and he'll know who to ask to join our search. I'll start looking in the places that I've visited with him"
"Maybe... maybe he returned to Halina?" He asked hesitantly.
I gave the idea some thought, but no matter how much Ceri might miss his aunt, he would never leave like that.
"I don't think he would go back without even mentioning it. And believe me when I say that we were coming to you, but when I came back... He definitely wouldn't leave you, Alev. He also would never venture into the Aella territory without Cailyn's permission."
"I hope you're right", he mumbled, then he added firmly, "I'll go to Cailyn first and then I'll check all Aellos dens that I believe may not be safe. You leave now and be thorough in your search. He could be stuck in a trap or unconscious. If you find him you bring him to my den right away, you understand?", he ordered and I nodded.
"I promise. We will find him. We have to"
He started leaving. And before he took off running, he turned and warned me. "Do not reveal this to all the Aellos. I may respect a few, but there aren't many that I would trust with my son's safety"
We parted ways and I first followed the rocky shoreline. Then I moved from one place to the other, hoping to find any trace or his footprints.
I totally agreed with Alev. It would be easier to alert everyone and ask them to join the search. But who's to say what they would do if they found him? Ceri might have earned himself some allies when he managed to bring some kids to our territory, but it would take so much more for him to be accepted as an equal by the rest of the tribe.
That was his fate. Whether he was an Aella or an Aello, he worked so hard and still received no recognition. All he yearned for was a sense of belonging. That was all he ever wanted, and yet our tribe was too wild to let someone as gentle as he was live in peace.
My heart constricted at the memory of Ceri telling me once that he was threatened by an Aello. He refused to tell me who it was, and now I regretted deeply that I hadn't pushed him to reveal his name. Or their names......
The thought of Ceri facing many Aellos made me trip and fall on my knees. Before rising, I punched the rock beneath me in frustration.
A day... A whole day I was unaware that my Ceri wasn't safe... How could I rest? Eat? Sleep!!!
I groaned and pulled myself up. It has been a few hours already since I started this search and I found absolutely no trace! None!! And the ones I asked didn't help much.
I decided to move to another region of the island. I took a longer path in order to check Alev's den, that was empty, and then the Aello village. In the village, I didn't want to mingle with the few Aellos who were there. I saw Cailyn giving some orders. He looked serious and I hoped he was helping with the search. As soon as our eyes met, he gave me a hopeful look, but he understood that my search was fruitless. He shook his head to indicate that he had no news either, and that was my cue to keep looking.
I should've stopped to rest or eat, but I just couldn't. My Ceri could be suffering or hurt right now, and my legs refused to stop moving.
It was the next sunrise when I crossed Alev's path. He looked exhausted, more mentally than physically. I wanted so much to ask for forgiveness, but I knew that was completely futile right now. We stared at each other for a moment, and neither of us spoke as we both continued our separate paths.
It was the first time I felt resentment towards our island. Every living thing was either a threat or an obstacle in my search. Where would my Ceri be in such a large, dangerous forest?
I decided to visit the place Ceri loved best, which was the big tree with the large branch that stretched over the sea. I thought maybe he came here on his own, even though it didn't sound very logical. I stood on the branch where we shared some of our best memories together. My eyes wandered in the sea, and I contemplated looking for him there.
I felt lost, tired and lonely. My only hope was that he wouldn't be feeling the same. I crouched and squeezed my eyes with my fingers
Ceri told me more than once that he prayed to you often. I don't know if you would listen to me, but if you are, please help me. Give me patience and strength. Guide me to him, he...... he could be very scared and alone right now
I beg you, Dilara
Ceri (2 days ago)
I pouted.
I am such a child. No wonder the Aellas and the children laughed at me all the time. I'm a real idiot.
After all these years, and after the countless prayers I sent to the spirits, I finally had a father. A father who was strong, kind, brave and so respected. A father to be proud of.
He not only gave me a new life, he gave me love, dignity, advice, and a place to belong to. With him, I was no longer the fatherless Aella, or Aella-man. I became an Aello, a member of a strong clan.
And yet I still managed to anger him. Why would I ever do such a stupid thing? I used to be unable to even look people straight in the eye! Now I'm offending my own father???
I'm so stupid and truly unworthy of him. I can't even understand myself anymore, and I wouldn't blame him if he......... didn't want me back anytime soon
......... or ever
I bit my lower lip as the thought sank inside me. And my heart kept denying it desperately. No, I will be good once more. I will beg him to forgive me and I'll sleep outside his den for months if I had to. I will repent and show him my sincerity.
I will do anything to make him love me again. I just...... I hope he lets me sleep inside before winter. I hate the cold. I can't sleep if my feet aren't warm.
I will stop being Cailyn's messenger it that would please him. And I'll leave for my Prueba right away! I will learn to hunt there. I don't seem to be advancing much anyway. Yes, I will get the Leader's permission and I'll leave to my Prueba. He'll probably give me permission after the Agape.
The Agape........
I wanted to be with Ithel so bad that I angered my father over it. Maybe I could talk to him again and try to convince him after he forgives me?
... If he forgives me
But I didn't know how long his forgiveness would take. Maybe he will punish me?
I shuddered as I remembered that someone had predicted this. She knew I was going to screw up. She even told me that I was going to do something wrong and that Alev will get fed up with me.
I felt so scared of the eventual punishment. According to her, Aellos' punishments weren't easy to handle at all and they were often deadly to the children. Despite this fear, however, I was more terrorized of not having a father again.
And it wasn't just having a father in itself, but having Alev as a family. I came to respect him and love him so much, I couldn't imagine living without him in my life. Especially now as I finally got to know him better.
I definitely loved my father and needed him with me, for the past few months were barely enough to fill the decade of void in my heart.
And for that, a part of me wanted to run outside to his den. I couldn't wait to see if he would welcome me or if he had already sealed my fate. The only thing keeping me from panicking to this last thought was having Ithel with me. He promised he would take me and even help me apologize. Ithel is so smart, he would definitely know what I should say to be forgiven faster.
At the same time, I wanted to wait and see if Alev would come and get me on his own. I knew how precious he was to me, but I didn't know if I still had a place in his heart after the rudeness I showed him in the last few days.
I sighed heavily and hugged my knees closer to my chest. Ithel has just left and I was already miserable. I couldn't wait for him to get back. I'll ask him what he thought I should do or say, and I'll do all of it.
Ithel will help me... I can't do this without him. As soon as he'll be back, he'll come with me and help me make this right
Dilara... I know I said I'd never ask anything again, but please, mother... help me keep my father, just this once
I felt a movement in front of me and the den darkened a little, announcing that someone was blocking the entry. I immediately thought of Ithel, and for a very brief moment, I wished he would be accompanied by my father. I lifted my eyes hopefully, but the dark look that I was met with made my eyes widen in disbelief
"I warned you", she growled.
I hesitated and my eyes kept checking behind her, hoping for my savior to step inside.
"S-s-someone will... y-you shouldn't be... here...", my voice trailed and weakened the more she kept her sharp look on me. I gulped and gathered all my courage to look confident as I spoke, "Ithel will be here soon-"
"He just left."
H-how did she know?
I shook my head, deciding to lie. "H-he's not far", I said, and it sounded more like a whisper than a threat
"I warned you clearly and more than once. Yet you still disobeyed me."
She looked extremely peeved and exasperated. My mouth opened to ask what she meant, but I only managed to gape at her. And I felt an obnoxious familiar weight on my tongue denying me the right to speak. She took a few steps towards me, stalking slowly and menacingly before she smashed her spear beside my feet making me jolt in fear.
"I've been patient for years because I thought you deserved a peaceful childhood. I've given you respect, kindness, and guidance. More than you deserved."
Her voice was mixed with a tone of sadness, or was it regret? As if it pained her to say this, but she felt like she had o nonetheless. Then her frown deepened and she tilted her head back to look down at me with cold, calculating stare. My breath halted when I saw the firm resolve in her tense jaw as it tightened.
"But I will be patient no more, Ceri. I will not allow you to waste all my hard work. I will not let you become more corrupted."
I was desperately trying to make sense of her being here, her anger, my mistake. But what mistake? Did she know about my attitude towards Alev? H-How could she know???
And I recognized that pained determination in her eyes all too well. It was a look that I dreaded over the years. A look that announced an upcoming punishment.
"......... D-D-Drita... I-"
She remained silent for a moment, staring at me as if she was looking for answers in my eyes. Then she sighed exasperatedly and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, they looked colder and darker, if that was even possible.
She suddenly released her spear that remained standing beside her. Then she decided to drop on her left knee, making me shrink back against the wall. I was barely able to swallow a whimper. But unlike my frantic heart, she looked composed and calm in her movements. And she kept my gaze as she reached with both hands to grab my neck.
I grabbed her hands but failed to remove them from around me. I tried to scramble away from her but she shushed me, calmly and quietly, as if strangling me was a normal thing to do!
"D-Drita, I-I-I-I-m sorry! I-I-I'm so sorry-"
"Shshshsh... It's too late now."
"I'm so sorry! W-w-wait, I need to g-go! My father... p-please-"
"Don't fight it, Ceri. The more you fight it, the more it hurts"
What?
My heart was beating so fast and I was panicking more and more by the second. That was when both her thumbs caressed at either side of my throat. They moved and pressed gently, like she was searching for something. I didn't get to ask what she was doing because her hands suddenly started squeezing roughly. I gasped and scratched her hands to push them away. My legs thrashed in an attempt to throw her back, but her strong hands clutched harder and it felt like she was crushing my neck. I drew one last difficult breath while looking her in the eyes. I tried to yell and ask her to stop, beg even, but my voice was lost on me and all I managed was a strangled wheeze. It didn't take much longer for my vision to start blurring. All I could remember was her unwavering, calm eyes looking down at me, before my eyes flickered, rolling to the back of my head, and my body went limb.