Aella (manxman) - ON HOLD - Chapter 45: Chapter 45

I opened my eyes with difficulty. The sun was up high, but my mind and body were too drained to care. I started stretching and immediately whimpered as my bones ached, mostly my side and my foot but a few other places joined in the game of making me suffer. As I settled down from my moans, I managed to slowly regain my consciousness. I couldn't open my eyes fully as I felt more weight on my right eye so it stayed half closed.
I turned to lay on my better side and I suddenly became aware that I was alone.
Despite the difficulty, I pushed myself up with my hands and looked around. The waves still swayed the raft, the paddles were beside me, one of them was broken with only its blade remaining there. I lifted my eyes to find the sea extending to the horizon from all directions.
And there I was, alone on the raft in the middle of the vast sea.
I leaned closer to the water and the raft tipped dangerously. The sea beneath me was so dark that it made my heart sink with fear. Another wave hit, almost throwing me into the sea with the way I was leaning forward. I yelped and pushed back, evening the swaying wood. Wave after wave, rhythmically passed, some of them deciding to get spilled on the raft. The cold water coated my hands and legs making me doubt that this was a dream.
I kept looking around me frantically. Maybe, just maybe, he was here and I was too stupid to see him! Maybe my eyes were playing a trick on me!
"I-I-I-Ithel?" I called, my voice almost whispering his name. Then I raised it the best I could and shouted. Again and again, hoping he'd hear me and come back.
What happened? We were together! He was here, holding me close!
I slept... how could I? How could I simply sleep like an idiot!!
What was going on???
This couldn't be happening... I could barely fathom what occurred last night, or more precisely this very early morning. I believed that Drita did find me again. That part was so awful to be just a vision or a dream. And I believed that I did stab her because I aimed for her throat but ended up stabbing her in the chest, or was it shoulder? Either way, I failed.
What I wasn't certain of was everything that happened afterward. I tasted sea water. I was on the rocks... How did I get into the sea? And...... the beautiful Aella that called my name under the water. She had a smile that warmed my heart in a way that I've never felt before. She was.........
She was the spirit of my mother, the pretty Dilara. Did the others see her too? Was she even real??
And then there was a fight. My memory was totally messed up, but I thought I saw my father, bravely kicking the Aella hunters and keeping them back.
Was he truly there? Did he sail back when he heard that I was in trouble? Or was it because Cailyn called for his Aellos?
I called for him as we sailed away... I called but he didn't answer, he didn't look at me... maybe he didn't hear me, or maybe he wasn't even there
Alev... will I ever see you again?
We sailed away. I sailed for the first time in my life............ ALONE!!!!!
My heart started beating like drums and I started to hysterically call for Ithel, my voice weak and cracking no matter how hard I strained it.
A loud gasp made me startle and look behind me to find him.
"ITHEL!!!"
He was coughing strongly and swimming towards me. I reached a hand towards him. He kept heaving as he tried to climb onto the raft. I grabbed his arm and helped him. I didn't even give him the chance to manage to speak before I hit his shoulder angrily
"Where were you! Where did you go? How could you!!"
He looked confused and I felt guilty for hitting the man that I loved the most in this whole world. So I put my arms around his chest and I hugged him close, feeling the frantic beating of his heart and the rising and falling of his chest as he coughed.
"It's alright, Ceri. I'm not going anywhere"
He hugged me back and we remained still until both of us calmed down. I pulled back just enough to see his face. He looked so tired. It showed on his face and the look in his eyes.
"You weren't here, where did you go?"
"I went to get you this", he smiled lightly and lifted the broken shaft of the paddle. A fish was stuck to its end and it still jerked as the life left it.
I stared at the fish and then at him.
I didn't want the damn thing, I didn't want anything, just, please.........
I regained my place on his chest, my ear right over his heart that thumped rhythmically and soothed mine. He sighed and caressed my scalp with the tips of his fingers
"I'm sorry I frightened you. You were asleep and I didn't want to bother your rest. You need it to heal. You must know that I'll never leave you, Ceri. I just went to get you some food-"
"I don't want it!!"
"You haven't eaten well in a week. This sail will be at least three days long, you must eat. I've been diving for hours and I finally caught you something. So please don't let it go to waste"
"Hours? But you're an excellent hunter. Even in the sea"
He let go of me and moved to lay on his back beside me, still trying to gather his strength. "I thought so too. But it's so dark down here. The sea is deep and the light doesn't reach far. It took a while to find fish and be able to aim correctly. I wasn't used to hunting here. Usually, we take food and......... water with us when we sail. But I figured the right way. Next time, I won't take so long"
"Next time??"
I held my side and scooted closer to him. I was already beside him, but I wanted to be even closer, so he wouldn't be able to leave again
"That fish is good for now. I'll get you more later, so don't worry-"
"I......", my voice cracked as I pleaded, "I don't want food. The sea is dark and it's bottomless and unsafe... Please, Ithel?"
He looked at me with a small tired smile, his right hand reaching to caress my left cheek.
"Don't you worry about me, my little Aella," he said calmly, "I will keep us both safe. I will get you to land, I promise!"
There was desperation and uncertainty underneath the sweetness of his promise. And it didn't take long for me to know the reason behind it.
Water...
I laid beside him, my head resting on his shoulder and he hugged me to his side.
Three days... at least three days of sail to reach the closest destination. No food or water, and only one to row and direct the raft. Three days will be even impossible, since he has to stop and hunt for food, and then sleep a few hours to be able to move again. He gets to drag the useless me for three days when he was already worn-out.
And we had to achieve the impossible without water.
We rested for a moment, and then he pulled himself up. I followed him and did the same. He grabbed the fish, removed it from the spear, and then he used his fingers to gut it and remove its entrails. He threw them into the sea and cleaned his hand quickly. Then he turned to me and handed me the fish with a smile.
I hesitated. The truth is......... I was parched. My mouth felt dry and my throat sore and rough. I didn't know if I could even swallow. I was too weak for anything, even thinking. The past two weeks were the worst of my whole life. The things I've been through.........
I pushed that thought to the back of my head and I looked at Ithel. I wondered if he was feeling worse than I was. He was exhausted from running for hours on the island while carrying me on his back. He didn't rest before bringing this raft, and now he has been diving for hours. Swimming breathlessly in the dark to get me food.
And yet here he was, smiling the best he could and giving me all he had.
I leaned in and put my arms around him. I pushed my face in the crook of his neck and sighed. He was surprised for a second before he hugged me with his free arm.
"I thought you were hungry for food, but it looks like you desire something else even more?"
He teased, making me chuckle. My face hurt so I turned slightly to rest my forehead on him instead of my right cheekbone. I remained like that for a moment before pulling back. He ripped the fish open and removed the spine. Both halves of it laid on the palms of his hands, dangling from the side.
I dug my fingers in and tore a generous piece of the white flesh. I brought my hand to my lips and took a bite. It was dry, difficult to swallow, but so damn delicious. I didn't have a tasty meal for a while. My last was the soup that Drita said was made by Halina. It was indeed good, but I swallowed it with shame and regret, so it became the worst best soup I ever had.
Ithel sighed in relief and smiled while watching me chew. I gave the rest of the flesh in my hand to him. He shook his head and tried to push my hand back, but I resisted
"We'll eat it together"
"Ceri, it's alright. I don't need it. You have to regain your strength and you need to heal. This is barely enough-"
"It's more than enough. Please?"
I wanted to remind him that he was diving for hours and he was about to row and get us closer to safety. But my mouth was too dry to speak much. So I plead with him, mostly with my eyes
......... or eye and a half
For a second there, I wondered how awfully ugly I must be looking right now. How did I get this injury in my cheek and my eye? I don't remember Drita hitting me, she was staring at me in disbelief just before I found myself in the water
So confusing... and my head hurt badly.
Ithel took a small bite and nodded for me to eat. I did as he wished. And we continued like that, a small bite each until we finished the whole fish. We weren't really full, but I could feel more energy inside me. However, the lack of water became more threatening after we ate.
Ithel directed me to sit behind him in a way that balanced the raft. Then he grabbed the unbroken paddle and started rowing. We sat, our backs against each other. He'd look over his shoulder to me from time to time. Other than that, we remained silent, both secretly wishing for a drop of rain.
The night ruled the sky and the stars came with it. They were so sweet and gentle in the way they made me stop thinking about the horrible recent events, or the constant burning in my foot. I now focused on the shapes of the luminous spots above us.
"Do you think the stars mate?"
He chuckled and stopped rowing. He has been moving with difficulty for a while now and the raft wasn't even advancing much anymore. He turned to put a lazy arm around my waist
"I've never thought about it before. Some say that the stars draw our past and future. They paint our fates"
"Our fates?" I gave it some thought, but I didn't like it, "No. The stars are too high. They have the whole sky. Why would they bother with what happens down here?"
"Alright. So they have nothing to do with us." He surrendered quickly with an amused, tired voice
"Yeah, they're happy and free up there. Maybe they have families?"
I was thinking about how sometimes, the stars seemed to be gathered in groups. So maybe they had tribes and clans just like us, and the small groups would be little families with young and shining children-stars. Before I could share more of my discoveries, Ithel hugged me from behind. He rested his forehead on my shoulder and I felt the slight tremble in his hands. The mood had somehow changed and I could feel his anxiety in his heavy breaths.
"Ithel?" I tried to look at his face, but he wouldn't let me. After a moment, he said with a restrained voice
"...... I'll take you to safety. You will live and I will take you to land no matter what!"
"We'll both make it"
......
He didn't answer me. Instead, he rubbed my arms gently, soothing my body that felt like I was thrown off the mountain.
I didn't know what to say. I didn't even know what to think or feel. So I grabbed the paddle and started rowing. Ithel protested, by I refused to let go. "Just a little", I told him, "I want to learn how to row"
I wanted to help. But the truth was, I didn't do much. Despite my stubbornness and determination, my ribs and my shoulder prohibited me from applying the required strength. Also, I didn't expect the water to be so heavy. It was like rowing against rocks. Water was supposed to be kind!
It didn't help that I was becoming even more thirsty. I was so desperate for water, I couldn't stop thinking about reaching my hands and drinking from the sea.
It didn't take long before Ithel took my place. He put us in the best direction and brought us closer to our destination. When he couldn't move any longer, he fell limply beside me. My left hand joined his right one as we watched the numerous stars again.
Despite my swollen eye, I saw a red star and turned to tell Ithel about it. I found him fast asleep. Lips slightly parted and a frown marring his beautiful face.
I used the little strength I had to move a little and peck him on the cheek. "I don't care where we end up, Ithel", I whispered, "Even if we don't make it, it's alright. The little time we have, we'll spend it together. No more diving in dark bottomless places."
I snuggled closer to him and laid my head on his shoulder, "It's ok if we don't reach Zury. Maybe the stars will let us join their clan?"
I thought about it for a second and the idea of floating so high made me smile. Suddenly, I was tugged closer to Ithel as he turned on his side and enveloped me in his arms. I felt his lips on my head, kissing me a few times and mumbling 'my sweet Ceri'
I let the affection of his embrace and the tenderness of his voice lure me to a much-needed, peaceful sleep.
~~~~~~
By the second night, we were in the same position. Sprawled on the raft, with Ithel's feet dipping in the sea as he was taller than I was. Ithel spent most of the day rowing after he dove for less than an hour to get us food. He stopped rowing when he couldn't sit straight anymore. And here we were.
We weren't talking anymore. We couldn't.
Our problem was still the same; it was water. I had never realized how important the liquid was. Now the issue was so deadly that we didn't even speak about it. At first, he'd look at me and I see the apology hidden in his eyes. He'd just stare for a moment before touching me or kissing me and going back to working on getting us to safety. As for me, I knew that if I pronounced the word 'water', I'll immediately start whining and complaining. And that was the last thing Ithel needed. It became like a silent sentence, looming around us and waiting for the inevitable.
"......... I'm so sorry", he murmured, his voice raspy and rough, "I promised to take you to Zury, but..."
It was in no way his fault. Ithel had such a beautiful and peaceful life before he met me.
He was the best thing that happened to me, and I am the worst thing that happened to him
"On Zury... I want our den to be inside a big tree"
He turned slowly to lay on his right shoulder and face me. "A tree?"
I did the same and turned on my left side, wincing at the pain in every part of my body. I looked slightly up to meet his eyes, "We'll live in the trunk of a good tree, like squirrels. It would feel great to be protected by a tree. Trees are strong"
He smiled lightly, "Yes they are"
I sighed and continued to whisper slowly, fighting against the extreme fatigue and dehydration, "We'll sleep inside... like the tree is hugging us"
He didn't respond. Only wore a sad silent smile, as if this was our last chance to gaze at each other.
And the more I did, the more I realized...... I don't want to die
I want us to live!
"I...... I want to have my second Agape with you, Ithel" my voice cracked, but I continued, "I want to claim you like I promised..."
"My dearest mate..." he joined his forehead to mine, "That is my only wish"
Indeed. Ithel was the first to say that he wanted to claim me as his mate. To seduce me, keep me in his den, and take care of me. But he was such an amazing man and everything about him was perfect! Even his dreams. And the more he told me about them, the more I felt like they were mine
I wanted to make him happy, feed him, hunt for him, protect him, and pleasure him
He put a lazy hand on my head and pushed my hair back, "On Zury, you'll have everything you want, Ceri"
It was his turn to be the optimist. I've been trying my best to be brave and not to wine, but I was starting to feel the weakness of hunger and thirst slip into my heart. It gave me a sinking feeling with every beat like it was too difficult for it to keep trying.
As if he could feel the weight that settled on my heart, Ithel nudged my forehead gently with his to get my attention and he whispered, "You'll be alright, my love. Try to ignore the pain and it will go away. Just... think about the beautiful stars and the strong trees"
I swallowed with difficulty and blurted what I've been keeping back for over a week
"I'm so thirsty..."
His eyes watered and he nodded slowly. I knew he was feeling the same, but I was so desperate and I needed to say it. Ithel reached a finger and ran it over my lips
"I know, my Aella. I know"
I opened my lips and let them suck the tip of his finger. At first, it tasted salty from the seawater, but then that taste faded. He didn't pull away. So I closed my eyes and suckled gently, somehow the motion appeased me slightly. So I let my eyelids close and I surrendered to the serenity of the night.
When the dawn of the third day came, we couldn't move anymore. We both knew that we'd never reach the island in our current pace or state.
So we didn't wake up when the sun's first rays licked us, and we didn't move when it started to ascend the sky. We simply remained inactive, drifting between consciousness and unconsciousness with the waves.
We only opened our eyes when the raft bumped into something.
For a moment, I thought it was a strong wave. I hugged Ceri closer to me to make sure he didn't get bumped off the raft. It made me think how odd this situation was; we were both doomed and yet I still had enough resolve to save him.
In our tribe, the good Aellos and Aellas who die are believed to live on as spirits. They are veneered by the tribe and they help guide and bless the living. I am a good hunter. I was a good son and a good follower to my Leader. I never harmed anyone who didn't want to hurt me and I always kept the spirits in my prayers.
The only thing that could make me less than good, was my inability to mate with a normal Aella and father children. But if the spirits were good and fair enough, they'd see that I have tried. They'd see that I wanted to fulfill my duty. If they understood my sincerity, they'd let me become one of them when I die.
I believe they did forgive my flaws. They forgave me the day they blessed me with the love of my existence, a little Aella man with eyes green like a fresh meadow and hair with the color of the sun.
And for that love, I was ready to sacrifice everything and anything. As I dove into the sea, as I rowed this raft, as I laid here and hugged him.......... as we sailed slowly closer to death, I prayed...... I prayed the holy spirits to take my peaceful afterlife by their side, and give my Ceri the chance to reach Zury. The chance to live...
Please... by all the spirits of our tribe... Please, Dilara... Bring him to safety until Alev finds him... Bring him to Zury
However, the spirits weren't listening that day...
"Looky, looky. What we've got here? Two ducks lost in the sea"
"DUCKS!!! Where, where???? Fuck my cunt! That ain't no ducks!"
"Why would there be ducks here?"
"But you just said-!"
"I was joking, you simple minded shit"
"Don't joke like that when we're in the middle of the fucking sea! Now I miss meat even more"
"We can still eat them"
"Aye. They'd look so damn delicious, rotating on a nice fire"
"Maybe we should wash them first. You never know what kind of diseases they bring with them"
"I don't give a damn about diseases! I say we eat them raw, right here right now, before the rest of the crew sees them and we'll have to share"
"Mmmm... Agreed. I'll take the taller one"
"NO FUCKING WAY!"
"I saw them first and I get to choose-"
"On my bony dead corpse! We'll split them evenly"
"Heads or tails?"
"Half-half, you fucker. We slice them both in the middle and we each take half. That way, we'll be having equal shares."
"......... It's the first fucking time you use your head right. I'm impressed!"
"Hahah, aye, I'm hungry. So, wanna do the honors of the slicing in half?"
"Start with the little blondie or the taller brunette?"
"I don't fuckin' care. Just give me my share of meat, and I'll gobble it all up"
"Uh... Even the hair??"
"Fiiine. I guess I won't swallow the hair. We'll gift it to the Captain like a wig or some shit"
"Good idea, the baldie will love it. And I'll pass on the eyeballs too. I don't think I'll enjoy them. Oh, and the cocks. What will we do with the cocks?"
"I ain't swallowing a man's cock!"
"Smart. We'll throw them into the sea to avoid evil spirits"
"......... Or we could keep them around, you know, in case the trip is too long"
"Gods, you're fucking disgusting"
"Aye mate, that indeed I am"
"Alright. Enough with the games. CAPTAIN! WE FOUND SOME MEAT!!"
"WE WON'T EAT THE COCKS, THOUGH!! AND WE'LL GIVE YOU THE HEAD SKINS TO WEAR LIKE WIGS!"
"Ughghgh WHAT?? What the fuck are you two idiots yelling for??"
"Me Captain! Oh almighty and strong Captain-"
"Ughghgh Stop jerking off and spill it!"
"Captain, we found two-"
"Ducks!"
"No, men"
"But you just called them ducks!"
"I told you that that was a fucking JOKE!"
"Ughghghgh Gods of the plank, please destroy these dimwits!!!"
"Me Captain, come look and see for yourself"
"........ Ughgh What in the fucking hell? Are...... Are those the two slaves who escaped???"
"No, Captain. They're different."
"Ughghgh... New meat. What are you waiting for, you morons? Get down there and check them! If they're alive, bring them to me. If they're dead, burn their raft."
"Aye aye!"