Aella (manxman) - ON HOLD - Chapter 47: Chapter 47

Boooooriiing
Sailing is so boring!
I've never thought about it before, but a place without trees and birds is just not worth living in. I love the sea, but it's the same everywhere I look! No matter how far you go, it's like you're still in the same place and it's maddening.
I peeked behind the wall of empty boxes. Still nothing interesting, only grumpy men coming and going. I came to learn that these men were all the time either busy or dancing and singing. They had a drink that helped them sing. It worked like magic every night and they called it 'special'. But it was really awful. Not as bad as their food, but still, horrible. It smelled like something rotten and it stung my throat. Ithel said I shouldn't take anything they offered again other than the cup of water. He also insisted that he smelled the cup and tasted the water before we shared it because the evil men tend to trick us by giving us their awful 'special' drink instead of sweet water. So my companion was wary of them and cautious all the time. Of course, Ithel was right.
I pulled myself to stand and looked over the edge of the large boat. The sea was beautiful and shimmering under the warm rays of the sun. However, watching the sea all day was so, so tedious.
The sea could not provide the distraction that I craved right now...
The sail has been longer than Ithel or I expected and I'm not allowed to do anything or go anywhere. I don't know how long we've been here exactly, definitely more than three weeks. During this time, nothing and a lot happened.
I'm saying a lot happened because most of my wounds have healed. It took a lot of time and pain, but I'm better now, from the outside. My eye wasn't swollen anymore, my shoulder and side didn't hurt, my hip that was aching from all the bumping into the rocks as I fell into the water, it felt better now, and I think I didn't have many colorful bruises anymore, only a few dark ones that refuse to fade.
My body didn't hurt anymore and that made me feel less miserable. However, I still have nightmares at night. Ithel's presence helps immensely with that, having him beside me makes the scary and sad feelings retreat faster. I didn't know what I would be if he wasn't with me. I would probably be gone by now if not for him.
Every day, I opened my eyes expecting some horrible revelation. I expected to find myself back in the cave with an angry stabbed Drita who looked for vengeance, or in the snare alone with Rhonwen wanting to strangle me with her long red hair. Even that dream where I was stuck in a deep dark place, it kept recurring and the more I saw it, the more real it felt. It wasn't something that had actually happened to me, like what happened with Drita, and yet my heart leaped every time I had it.
Somehow I knew, that deep dark place with no rays of sunshine was coming to get me
Yet every day, I woke up to Ithel by my side, sitting or standing to guard us. I discovered that he barely slept. He didn't want any of the ugly men to attack us, so he never let himself sleep deeply. I admired him and I wanted to be the same as him, a brave protector. But whenever I closed my eyes, I dove so deep that I almost snored.
Unlike my shameful self, Ithel was amazing. He never asked for my help, yet he never dismissed me when I tried to stay awake and stand guard by his side. His presence gave me enough strength not to think about the past.
That was why the sea was so irritating. It presented no distraction from my thoughts. On the contrary, when I gazed at it, my thoughts ran free and that was never good. Soon I start sweating for no reason and breathing faster, almost heaving. Remembering what Drita did to me... what I couldn't do to fight back despite trying with all my might...
I try to think about anything other than her furious glare and I find myself remembering the way we escaped from our island......... That part was fuzzy and I get a headache just from trying to understand it. There were facts and there were hazy memories.
Alev was upset with me, that for certain was a fact. Things were very messy and tangled within the Aellas' clan as well as between them and the Aellos. Somehow, I became a part of it and I was the cause for things to become even worse, that also was a fact. It was all too depressing to bear. So whenever I had questions about the past, doubts about the future, I'd push the hurtful thoughts away and I'd stick to Ithel's side and ask about something. Anything, really; stars, waves, boxes, sail, boats... Anything that would break the silence for a small moment and keep the upsetting reality away.
So all in all, everything was better. Everything, except for my foot. I refused to look at it. I could feel the deformity whenever I stepped on it. I could use it without pain, but I couldn't help the limp in my walk because of the weird, unfamiliar feeling I got whenever I stood on it. Ithel was so happy that the wound closed nicely without any signs of infection. He said it happened so quickly because I was brave and because I let him clean it with sea water every day despite the pain that caused.
......... I miss him a lot. We've been spending our time more silent than talking. Ithel was always tired despite his efforts to hide it. We shared one cup of water daily and he dove to find us edible food, some that didn't make us throw up.
Despite the silence, having him beside me was the only good thing left for me. And when he was gone to dive, I was left with nothing but my own thoughts. Tormenting, accusing thoughts that worked relentlessly to drill my heart with guilt.
I had so many regrets. About my father, about Drita, about Halina, and mostly about ruining Ithel's peaceful life. I had even more questions. Was the Agape going nicely for everyone? Were Epona and Vreis happy by their father's side?
...... Was that truly my father who fought the Aellas? Did I really meet my mother's spirit?
............ Does she regret bringing me to the world?
More questions than I could count and they intertwined with remorse in order to weight on my soul. And the one idea that hurt the most was if ......... if Ithel regretted being with me
"Hungry?"
"Ithel!"
I grabbed the edge and leaned over to see the bravest man climbing a rope towards me.
"Shshshsh, don't let them hear us", my savior said as he climbed.
I grinned and nodded. There was a reason for secrecy. These people were so impolite and evil.
I watched Ithel get closer. And when we were only at arm's length, he stopped to hand me a wooden stick with a large fish stabbed with it. My eyes widened at the sight of it and I reached to grab it. As soon as I did and stepped back, I went to smile but the fish immediately disappeared.
"I've been waiting for you. I'm too fucking hungry!"
I glared at the bigger man who snatched our food from my hands. He looked scary with his evil looks and dirty teeth. But I couldn't let him get away with what Ithel worked so hard to get. Lately, these men stole our food very often and it was so unfair to Ithel!
"Give it back!"
"Oh, the tiny mouse talks"
"Your Leader promised us safety as long as we didn't steer trouble!"
"Oh did he? I don't remember. Why don't you come and get your fish back, little fellow?", he said tauntingly while wiggling the fish in the air
I limped towards him, but with the second step, I heard Ithel's stern order from behind me
"No! Let him have it."
I turned to find him holding onto the edge and glaring at the evil man.
"But, Ithel-"
"Let him have it, Ceri."
I gritted my teeth. Ithel was trying to sound calm, but I could see that he was as angry as I was. Then why not fight for our food? The food he was obviously exhausted from hunting! Ithel was so strong and amazing, he would certainly win. I would help him win and together we can teach this arrogant man a lesson!
"Hear that, little mouse? Your friend knows not to fight a losing bout. You should learn from him". with that, he turned around and left while laughing.
And he took the fish with him.
My stomach immediately felt the loss. I pouted and turned to Ithel. He sighed and, without looking at me, he let go of the edge and dropped back into the sea. I ran and called after him, but he was gone to find another prey.
My hands gripped the wooden edge and I felt anger rise within me.
Unfair... this was so unfair
Even if I deserved any of this, Ithel definitely didn't.
Ithel asked for nothing of this. I was the weak one, why would he suffer??
Suddenly, as the waves evened and every trace of Ithel disappeared, I realized... It didn't matter what intentions one had, the only thing that mattered was what a person did.
It didn't matter that I never meant to disrespect Drita or mislead her, the truth was that I was too weak to fight her, too stupid to even see the danger I was slowly getting myself into.
It didn't matter that I never meant to disrespect my own father for whom I waited seventeen years. I behaved like a spoiled child and contradicted him. Now he might even disown me...
It never mattered that I didn't mean to kill my mother.........
My life is a mess only because I did nothing! I never took a stand against the Aellas, never succeeded to escape the mountain and find my father on my own, never made Ithel's life any better... only more and more difficult.
Like Ithel, I had to be strong and brave. Like Ithel, I had to do something.
So I released the edge and walked towards the steps that led to the center of the boat. I looked around me and saw that no one was minding me.
So I put a foot on the lower step. And I moved the other to join it.
I looked around me again, making sure no one was attacking me. And I deemed it safe to descend step by step. Once the steps were over, I felt strange. It was my first time standing here since we bumped into this boat weeks ago. I took a peek on the sea, and the waves were still the same. Everything was still the same and that gave me the courage to go further.
I started moving, but a man came out of the hole in the floor close to me. He left in the other direction and didn't even notice me standing there. So I got closer and took a peek inside. I've seen many men come and go into the belly of the large boat and I always wondered what was down there. So I leaned down and looked in. There were other steps, and then a long path.
Intrigued, I checked again around me and then limped down the steps and into the inside of the boat. I moved to stand behind the steps, ready to hide beneath them if someone ambushed me. There were voices of men talking, laughing and even arguing. I didn't know what I was going to do next.
I examined my surroundings. I was in the middle of a long path and it went both ways. And to my surprise, there was another hole in the ground not far from where I stood! I imagined that I would probably find the sea under there, but when I moved towards it and looked down, there were more steps, leading to another path.
How big was this boat!! How far did it go down? Was I already under the sea? That would be amazing!
I heard voices of people approaching, so I hurried to climb down the steps and hid behind them.
At this level, there wasn't much light. As I walked further inside, it became a bit darker, but a tiny torch attached to the wall helped illuminate the place. I was soon met with openings in the walls. I took a quick look inside and found many of the men sitting here and there, laughing and talking.
I took a long breath to ready myself, and then I limped past the door. I stopped to check if anyone has seen me and decided to punish me for being here. But after a long minute, I redeemed it safe to continue. There were mode doors and other small paths. It was like a small maze under the sea and it was fascinating!
I advanced very slowly. Suddenly, some men came out of nowhere and walked towards me. They hadn't seen me yet, so I hid in one of the rooms and chose to crouch behind a large pile of wooden boxes. I almost stopped breathing in order not to make any noise whatsoever. My heart started racing and I just realized that I was too far away from where I'm supposed to sit and wait for Ithel to get back. The boat is too fascinating, it made me forget all my anger or why I even came down here for in the first place.
The voices were coming closer. Luckily, they didn't get inside and they walked further away from the room I was in. Once they were far enough, I threw my head back and allowed myself to take a long breath. I stood up, only for my foot to step on something that groaned in response. I looked behind me to see someone lying on the floor. I almost screamed with a startle. Luckily I didn't because the ugly man was sleeping on his back, mouth open with dirty colorful teeth inside.
I stepped away from him and put my hand over my heart to try and calm down. My eyes fell on the boxes that I was hiding behind, and I just noticed the nice smell that emanated from them. I looked closer, only to see something that made my heart thump and my stomach quiver.
Apples...
When Ithel and I were allowed nothing to eat after we refused to swallow the disgusting thing they called food, we only fed on the fish that Ithel would hunt almost every day. It's been so long since I saw or smelled something as precious as an apple. I could feel myself drool before the box. I reached and grabbed one. For a second, I felt guilty because I knew I was taking something that wasn't mine. And my stomach decided to growl and make me dismiss the thought quite quickly. It wasn't as beautiful or as fresh as the ones I get back home, but it was an apple nonetheless.
I held it in both my hands and breathed in its scent. I wanted to take a bite so, so much. I was very hungry already and I haven't eaten a thing since yesterday. However... Ithel was the one who worked impossibly hard every day to feed us. He was the one who guarded us day and night. He was the one who deserved this apple.
Or maybe apples?
After a deep thinking, I decided not to take more than one in fear of being discovered. I looked around me. there were more things around, they certainly contained food. But the man was stirring in his sleep and that led me to the exit pretty quickly.
However, just before I left, my eyes fell on a pool of water about ten feet away from me. My legs halted, unable to leave the place anymore. And they turned and hurried towards the water.
I forgot Ithel's warnings about not drinking anything without him testing it first, and I pushed my chin into the pool of cold water, drinking the liquid of life with big gulps. Water became so rare for us lately, seeing so much of it was exhilarating.
I was so thirsty and happy that I didn't notice the container tilt. Its weight dropped towards me fast. I barely stopped it from falling, but almost third already spilled on the floor because of my recklessness.
I was soaked. Water that could keep Ithel and me alive for probably weeks, all lost in a second of idiocy. I was heaving from the surprise of it all and my heart was racing. Before I could even assess the damage, the sleeping man wasn't asleep anymore. The water had reached him and he woke up looking confused and alarmed. "What the hell!!", he yelled as he looked around and beneath him.
I didn't wait to explain. If he knew I did this and they got their hands on me, they'd eat me!
So I ran out of there as fast as I could, covered in soaked clothes and a shriveled apple in my hand. I ran, but I wasn't aware that I was getting further away from the exit and deeper into this lower level. I was going so fast; I didn't even stop when I met a couple men walking my way. They didn't hurt me, though. They just sided and let me go past them, not caring about me in the least. I got so lucky.
And my sudden luck led me to the end of the path, which was quite the large empty space with nothing there in particular. My bad foot slipped in some sort of a whole, but I regained my balance and my footing. It was darker here and I could almost see nothing. Even my eyes took their sweet time to adjust and it didn't help that I was fully panicking. With nowhere to go further, I stopped and took the time to heave and attempt to calm down.
I couldn't. My panic was slowly rising as I realized what I had just done! I walked where they specifically forbade me, I intended to find the man who stole our fish and get back.... S-s-seriously!!!!??? Luckily, I didn't find him. Instead, I spilled their precious water and stole their food!!!
My trembling hand clutched around the apple, refusing to let go of it. My legs were quivering slightly and I suddenly found myself so alone in all of this.
By the names of the spirits, what was I thinking? Did I really believe I could accomplish ANYTHING!!!
I'm so stupid!!! If I-I-Ithel hears about this, he'll be so angry and disappointed in me!
... If he hears...... I won't tell him. Yes, I won't utter a word! He worked so hard lately, he was relentless in order to keep us safe. If he knew that I, the main reason for all his suffering, have done such a stupid thing......
My knees that were beginning to calm started trembling again, even harder than before as I realized that Ithel might actually blame me for everything. This could be what pushes him to realize how awful my existence has been for him... how ungrateful I am and how dangerous it was for him to be with me.
If he stops for even one second to think about everything that happened... He might leave me
No, I thoughts, he will leave me... it's just a matter of time and I certainly shortened that with my weakness and stupidity
My eyes adjusted better to the darkness. I gazed around me, sadly coming to accept that the only way back to Ithel, was to go through where I came from. If that man that I woke up saw me, he'd definitely kill me.
Ithel, I whispered, and my heart thumped at the mention of his name. I needed to get back to him. No matter how worthless I was, I needed to get back to him.
With shaking resolve, I limped towards the only exit. I have barely made one step further when I felt something crawling on my bad foot.
Creeped out, I looked down and saw the most frightening thing ever. In the floor, there were eyes staring at me. The whole ground was filled with them and they all focused on me. Some glaring, others miserable, they all sought me. My breath halted and my heart almost did the same. A second later, there were not only eyes but also hands, reaching to catch me from beneath the ground.
I yelped in fright and retreated. I just noticed that there were dark, empty spaces between the wooden planks in the floor, and underneath, starving creatures wanted to catch me.
"Help! Please, help us!!", "Fresh meat!", "Where do you think you're going?", "Get me out! Get me the fuck out of here!!" ... Voices, eyes, hands... all aimed at me from every direction. Fingers caught my feet and denied me the possibility to run, forcing me to fall on my knees and scratching my legs.
"No! Nooo! Leave me alone, l-l-l-leave me alone! Ithel! Alev! Aleeeev!!!!" I yelled. The apple fell from my hand. Ithel's apple!! I stupidly tried to catch it, but it was snatched away from me, disappearing inside the floor and leaving me with bloody scratches on my right hand. I kicked and struggled. I forced my feet free and I took three steps away. More hands caught to my ankles, and when I looked down, I thought I saw her eyes.
I froze for a second, while the hands still fought to scratch at my feet. There she was... there she was...
When her eyes blinked, my breath hitched and I yelled. I fell on my back and scurried away from the cursed floor. Moving backward until no hands could reach me, only their voices, begging and threatening for my death.
One instant I was on the floor, the next I was running from where I came from. I completely forgot about my bad foot, and both my legs kicked the floor with loud thuds. I was met with several men, all of them unhappy to see me. Two even tripped me and kicked me with their feet, saying they'd tell on me if I stepped in here again. They were scary. Their threats could've scared me if I wasn't terrified from the creatures that tried to capture me.
I ran crazily, climbing the steps on four and unblinking until I reached my spot. I hid behind the pile of empty boxes, my body shaking like a leaf in a wild wind.
What were those??? The ground... they came out of the ground! They're after ME!!!
~~~~~~~~
Ithel
It was the beginning of sunset when I stepped on the ship, heaving and looking around, making sure the food I got was hidden behind me and that no one was to take from us again today.
When I deemed our space empty from any threats, I let the fatigue take over me and I tiredly walked towards Ceri. I've been diving for almost two hours now. The duration was shrinking every day and I only managed to get one fish today. I believe it was because of the little food and water that I get. If this continues, I'm afraid I'll have serious trouble to provide food. And not just that, this situation that we've been in for weeks had me constantly on guard. It was starting to seriously wear me out mentally as well as physically. But I'll think about that later, right now, I need to rest.
I approached Ceri and laid on my back beside him, almost dropping on the ground. I closed my eyes, fighting the exhaustion and attempting to calm my breaths. I almost let sleep take over. I should, as sleep would be the best remedy for my drained body. However, I missed a certain gentle voice and I found it weird that he didn't greet me.
I opened my eyes with great difficulty and looked up, wondering why hasn't he taken what I brought yet.
"I brought food"
He didn't move. He was sitting with his arms hugging his legs tightly and his face tucked over his knees. I reached a hand towards him and touched his arm. I barely did so and he immediately flinched away from me. I immediately sat up and got closer to him.
He didn't just flinch; he was leaning away from me! He hadn't done that in a while now and I thought that he started to heal! He used to behave like this because of what that monster did to him, but then he stopped being jumpy and scared all the time. That was when his body and bruises began to heal and I thought that he had forgotten about it...... But why again? Why now??
"Hey, aren't you hungry?", I asked without touching him. He shook his head quickly and hugged his legs even closer. I just noticed that he was trembling. How come I didn't pay attention when I got here???
Maybe it was all weighing on him now. We hadn't discussed what happened to him with that monster Drita. He faced so many hardships, thirst, and hunger even, yet he didn't say a word about it.
I......... I didn't ask him either. Somehow, deep inside me, I knew what happened from the moment I found him. I didn't speak to him about any of that and I didn't urge him to spill it out. I guess I was hoping he'd forget... or maybe I just couldn't face the ugly truth.
What would he do if he spoke about it and realized that I was the cause of all of this?
If I hadn't left him alone in my den that day... if I looked for him immediately after I came back instead of assuming that Alev had taken him!
He was angry with me. He was smart and was starting to realize how I've wronged him. Even now, by ignoring him these past weeks and not caring for him properly.
I've been leaving him alone to hunt, but what he needed was safety. He needed an environment where he could eat and live without suffocating in fear.
I got closer to him and enveloped him in my arms. "Ceri, I'm so sorr-" before I even finished, he was sobbing. He was crying and trying to keep his sobs quiet. His body was shaking more violently and it tore my heart to pieces. My Aella was trapped in a place and scared, and there was nothing I could do about it.
"Shshshsh, calm down. Don't hurt yourself more, Ceri, please..." My eyes stung and quickly blurred. I hugged him closer as he continued to tremble. Soon, I could decipher something he said, but I couldn't understand what he meant
"I-I-I...... I-I-I didn't....... I d-didn't do anything..."
"What do you mean?"
He shook his head that was still tucked down, "N-No, I d-did nothing! I-... nothing!"
Why would he say that? None of what happened was his fault!!!
I wiped my eyes with my upper arm and controlled my voice. "I know, Ceri. Believe me, I definitely know that you-"
His head suddenly turned my way and I saw terror in his weeping eyes. "Y-y-you saw them too?", he whispered.
"Them who?"
His lips trembled as he whispered and confessed what lead my heart to sink, "I went in-i-inside the boat"
"WHAT!"
He cried harder now, still lowering his voice, even I barely heard him. "I'm s-so sorry... please don't hate me"
"What took you there! Why didn't you stay here!!!"
His shoulders shrugged slightly in their tremble, "I-I went to get your f-food back"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The thought of him walking inside the ship was impossible to swallow. I was mad at him. Why would he do such a thing! He could've gotten killed!!!
Ceri was never stupid. But he was young. He was inexperienced and quite impulsive.
"I told you to let that man go! I don't care about the food, I got you more!!! How could you endanger yourself like that? Did they hurt you?"
He looked at the ground around him and then back at me. Leaning closer in my arms and whispering, "She's here, Ithel. She found me!"
I frowned in confusion as he curled his toes inwards and glared at the ground like it was going to eat him. "I-I-I-I saw her!"
"Who??"
"She's here! She saw me! A-a-and she knows! She knows I tried to kill her... she's here for revenge!"
That was the last thing I expected him to say.
"Ceri, Drita is NOT on this ship-"
"No, I've seen her, I swear!", his eyes spilled with more tears, "She's here and she... sh-she want to trap me with her and all the bad spirits, i-i-it's down there, inside the sea!"
I tried my best to find some logic in his words. "Did you see something trapped inside this ship?"
He nodded and closed his eyes shut as if trying to chase the thoughts away. "Th-th-they were too many... all in there... wanting to get to me!"
Someone yelled, and Ceri almost jumped out of his skin. I looked back to see some men yelling and pushing each other. They weren't close to us. At least no swaying men came to bother us tonight. So I turned back to my frightened little bird.
"...... I've heard that the outsider men catch animals and imprison them."
His beautiful scared eyes found mine again, "A-animals?"
"Yes. I don't know what for, probably to trade for something. Maybe that's what you saw"
He thought about it for a moment, before asking, still in a hushed tone, "Can animals speak?"
I frowned, dreading the reality that I felt was coming, "You heard them?"
He nodded and lowered his voice even more, "They were angry. They wanted me to free them. But they also wanted to take me with them! Please, Ithel... If they escape, they'll catch me! And... I saw her! In the darkness, I saw her eyes! She was looking right at me!! How could she find me and get here???"
"Ceri, Drita isn't here, I promise you. Alev took care of her. You stabbed her yourself, remember?"
"That's why she's here!! Or...", his eyes wandered to the floor again and he looked pensive, "I-is it because I stole?"
"You did what!?"
He instantly panicked. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I know it's a bad thing to do! I'm an honorable hunter, I swear!! But I was hungry and thirsty. A-a-and I found water. They have so much to spare! I drank from it, and then I spilled it.... A-a-a lot... and I found apples. I-I got one for you! But...... the bad spirits took it"
He rubbed his hand and I reached for it. I ran my fingers over his skin and I felt the scratches. It was dark already, but there was still enough light to see the angry marks on his right hand.
"You're hurt! Did the men catch you??", I whisper-yelled at him.
He sighed and shook his head, a bit exasperated as if tired of explaining what I refused to believe. My eyes caught his feet, and I found many more scratches there. Some were even stained with blood and one was still slightly open and bleeding a little. I inspected them closely. Someone did claw at his feet and the marks didn't seem like they'd come from an animal.
He pushed his back more against the wooden edge of the ship. He was trying to escape the ground, expecting that whatever he saw was coming to get him.
I let go of him and stood. "I'll be right back"
He grabbed my leg. "Wh-wh-what? No!! Don't go there!",
"I'm just getting some sea water to clean those wounds. I'll be quick, alright?"
He just watched me with wide, begging eyes, unable to agree with me. I definitely needed to clean the scratch marks. I didn't want him to get an infection. Not after he got better from all his injuries.
I squatted beside him. "Do you trust me?"
He nodded, eyes filling once again. I quickly grabbed a small wooden container that was thrown aside and climbed down the ship. I reached the sea and filled it, and then climbed back up.
He was still where he was. Somehow he managed to press himself more against the edge of the ship.
I sat beside him and took his foot in my hand, the one that was still bleeding.
His right foot...... my heart sank and I tried not to reveal my emotions. I had to look strong, so I blinked my eyes quickly and tried to be gentle while holding him.
"This might sting"
He sniffled. "I-I can take it."
I smiled. That, right there, was something more precious than anything. He always said that, trying to sound strong and brave. Always doing the best he could, with a hint of a childish innocence that made him my Ceri. 'I can do it', 'I'm not scared', 'It's alright'... Words that probably held a small meaning to him, they meant the world to me.
He closed his eyes to prepare for the pain. We did this countless times over the last few weeks. He was brave about it all, but the damn thing still hurt.
I spilled the water and used the hem of my piece of clothing to clean the wound. Then I did the same for the scratches on his other foot and his hand.
"You're being very brave about this"
He didn't answer, but I knew my words brought him a tiny bit of relief. Once we finished, he looked exhausted. Of course, he would. He cried a lot and he was hungry. I still couldn't believe that he wandered alone in the ship! It's a miracle that they didn't catch him or punish him for it.
What a difficult day this one was. Yet nothing came close to what Ceri claimed he saw.
I believed him. I did because I trusted him, but even more because of the intense fear I saw in his eyes. He looked the same when I found him in Drita's damned hiding.
I sighed. We needed to escape this ship. We were in the middle of nowhere. I've never been so far from our island before, and never have I heard of an Aello who sailed past Saeva. I wouldn't know where to go even if we were free with a boat!
But even so, the situation has now changed. These weren't only stingy, unfriendly strangers. They're imprisoning something down there! That must be why we weren't allowed anywhere around this large ship.
I looked at Ceri. He stopped trembling, but he was definitely still terrified from the ground. I tried to distract him, even for a minute.
"Here, look what I got."
I showed him the fish I had caught. He eyed it but didn't move towards it like he usually did.
"Doesn't it look like the kind we used to hunt back home?"
He eyes it again, then nodded lightly. I went to get a sharpened piece of wood to gut the fish, but he spoke. "I'm not hungry."
I sighed and put the fish aside, hiding it from other men's sight. Then I moved to sit beside him and put my arm around his shoulders. For a second, I was wary of him pulling away from me, but he didn't. Instead, he leaned his head my way and tucked it in the crook of my shoulder.
I ran my fingers through his hair and caressed his scalp. Lately, I had noticed how droopy his hair had become. It was still soft to the touch, but the curls became loose, only a few curves remaining. Even that secret glow to it had disappeared.
I kissed his head and we remained silent for a while. The voices of the men went quiet and the peaceful silence of the night filled the air. Peacefulness that didn't reach our thoughts in the least.
"I know what you're thinking...", he said.
"You do?"
"......... If you stay, she'll find you too"
I leaned forward to catch his doubtful eyes. "Ceri, Drita is not here-"
"I saw her!"
"What you saw, whether they were animals or..." people... "or whatever, Drita was NOT with them! That doesn't mean that they weren't scary or dangerous. We've never faced such a thing before, so it's alright to be afraid."
"......... I think the ugly men are keeping the spirits to torture them."
"Please, don't think about the reasons. We just need to stay safe-"
"Or maybe they want to eat them! They said that when they first saved us, right? Ithel... are they really going to eat us??"
The question was one I didn't expect, but it was definitely possible. And that was the last thing I wanted to admit to him.
"People don't eat other people."
He deflated slightly in relief. "I thought so too"
"How about you sleep a little? I promise to keep an eye on you all the time. I won't move or go anyway, I promise. Just close your eyes and rest a little"
"......... I'll stand guard tonight. You can sleep. Here," He reached for our cup of water and immediately retreated to sit against the edge. He handed me the cup. It was almost empty, but there was enough to ease the dryness in my throat. However, how could I take my Aella's water?
"I'm not thirsty. You have it, it will help you sleep and stay strong"
He shook his head, "I... I drank......... a lot, actually. Please, have it"
I admit my mouth went even dryer when I saw the transparent liquid. After some hesitation, I grabbed the cup and emptied it. It was extremely delicious, and I just realized how much I was craving this sip of water. So I put the cup aside and kissed my lover's forehead.
"Thank you, my sweet Aella. I don't know what I would do without you"
"......... you'd be safe"
We were already submerged in silence, so it was hard to miss what he mumbled. And it pained me that he'd think I'd be better off without him. Maybe if I was a better Aello, a stronger hunter, maybe he'd be safe now. Peacefully living in my den.
After a long hour of silence, I thought he'd be fast asleep by now. But his hesitant voice revealed him awake. "We'll never be well here... Something bad will definitely happen to us. E-either the men or those......... things will eat us. What will we do?"
He was right. He was completely right. I knew these men weren't completely good news to us, but somehow I hoped that I'd pay them back for saving us once we reach land. However, we've been sailing for weeks and long gone were the lands that I knew.
And now with whatever Ceri had seen down there, it became even more urgent for us to leave!
Yet how could I throw my Aella and myself into the unknown sea once more...
Ceri was smart enough to know all of this. We've both kept these thoughts to ourselves until now, but whatever terrorized him today was enough to make him speak to me about his fears. There was a desperation in his words that cut through me like a weapon, but what hurt deeper was that I had no idea how to save him.
"We're not safe here, my Aella. I don't know what these men or their Leader intend to do with us, and it's even worse to know that they're evil enough to keep people imprisoned. I don't know, Ceri......... maybe the sea will be more merciful-"
"Ithel the sea is bottomless here! And it has no end!! It will kill us!" his voice constrained with tears, and I let him cry his fears. Maybe that will ease the weight on his tormented heart. I let him cry for his own good, but his trembling breath weakened me and made me forget to try and be strong for him.
"I'm sorry Ceri. None of this is your fault, and I'll never be able to remedy for what's happening. I can no longer promise you safety, nor where we will end up! I don't know if it's better for us to remain here or jump into the sea."
He leaned closer to me and I hugged him. He cried, very silently and I did too, until we both slept.
Exhausted, scared, and tormented...
~~~~~~
My Ceri woke up late the next day. I didn't leave his side, not even for a second. We ate the fish that I hunted the day before, so I didn't go diving. Instead, I did my best to soothe my Aella and to make sure he wasn't thinking about what he saw, including the eyes of a glaring Drita.
The day after, I had to hunt. My dive lasted the shortest since I got on this ship. Heavens have probably felt merciful for the day, or......
My answer came next day in the afternoon when one of the men yelled with all his might "Laaaaand!"
I quickly looked at the horizon and sure enough, the shapes of a set of glorious mountains ornamented the skies. One thought instantly clicked in my head and it all happened in a second.
I quickly squatted next to Ceri who was still startled by the news and the movement of the men on the ship. I grabbed his shoulders firmly and stared into his eyes.
"Do you trust me?", I asked assertively.
He frowned in confusion but nodded. "I-I do! Of course, I do"
"Listen to me. When I tell you, I want you to take the deepest breath and hold it in. Then close your eyes and not open them no matter what happens. Can you do that?"
"Ithel, what's happening? Are they going to hurt us now??"
"Ceri! Please promise you'll do exactly as I say!"
Suddenly, their Leader yelled, "Get the two savages and put them with the others Now!", "Aye aye!"
I grabbed the largest boxes that were abandoned beside us. I stretched my arm back and threw the boxes as hard as I could into the sea.
I ran to the opposite side and grabbed Ceri on my way. The splash alarmed the men and led them to the other side, yelling and threatening to gut us.
I didn't even look behind. I climbed over the edge and helped Ceri to do the same. I pulled him to close my chest.
"Now Ceri!"
He hesitated for a tiny moment, but when I showed him that I was taking a deep breath, he did the same. His eyes wandered over my shoulder and when they widened, I knew that someone saw us. So I waited no longer, and I dove with Ceri in my arms, head first into the water.