Aella (manxman) - ON HOLD - Chapter 50: Chapter 50

"You're the most beautiful", he whispered and nibbled my ear.
He had awakened not long ago. He stretched, drank water and washed his body at the waterfall. Then he walked back and stared down at me. He attempted to start a conversation with me, but I wasn't up to it. I was tired and unfocused. My head was bristling with a thousand thoughts that tormented me all night, so I didn't meet his gaze. He asked if I slept and I told him that I kept watching all night like I promised. He watched me for a full moment silently, before he moved to sit close to me.
He sat with his chest to my back and his legs on either side of me. His right hand sneaked on my abs and I unconsciously flinched and pushed it away.
"Sorry", he immediately said, sounding truly apologetic, not angry, "I won't touch your chest or stomach, I promise. I just...... I want you close to me. Is that alright?"
close to me... why would he want that after everything I caused him?
Even my body looked weak and awful. My bones practically poking under my skin. This latter became ugly with tiny scars everywhere and bruises here and there. My side was still darker because of all the beating I took and a horrendous scar marred my foot.
His right hand squeezed mine, bringing me out of my thoughts. He nuzzled my hair.... my now darker droopy hair that didn't look clean and healthy even though I washed it several times yesterday, and twice during the night.
"I miss having a quiet, peaceful moment with you. My sweet Aella"
My heart fluttered at that.
I was so fed up with myself, so determined to change. A part of me wanted to cast away all my feelings in order to become stronger. That was the only idea I could come up with during the long night. Yet the way he calls me his sweet Aella...
"I'm sorry...", I found myself saying.
He scoffed softly, "I'm thankful"
I frowned. I was confused and I didn't dare ask what he meant. For some reason, I was starting to find it hard to speak to Ithel without feeling guilty or useless. We had an amazing night yesterday. We had more water than we could think of, we gobbled a whole fox, and we admired the beautiful sky. However, when he slept and the silence of the night settled in, the what ifs tormented me all night. And that weight hurt so much that I didn't even dare look in his eyes.
A familiar heaviness weighted on my tongue as well, rendering me slower with my thoughts, and barely able to speak without a stutter. I loathed this feeling. It was something I started getting rid of since I left the Aellas' territory to join the Aello clan. Now the anxiety was showing its ugly signs and it frightened me to realize how little I've changed....
As if he felt my confusion and knew I wasn't about to talk, he leaned closer and continued, "I'm thankful to the heavens for blessing me with you. I can't believe you are still with me and I can just sit with you in peace."
His right hand released mine to go around my chest and hold my left shoulder, tugging me closer to him, and his other hand rested on my thigh while caressing it gently. His touch was delicious, but I couldn't truly relax knowing he could see the damaged me, the one that was nothing like I used to be before. Skinny, weak, and deformed... none of what he loved about me was present.
His lips fell on my temple before he whispered. "From now on, there will be no reason for you to worry. We survived the worst and here we are, together in a generous and beautiful forest. I have everything I need, including my little pearl in my arms"
Why do those words make me feel better and worse at the same time?
I sighed, wanting to cling to him forever. I felt his hand dip between my legs and it instantly startled me. For a brief moment, I saw Drita's face right before me and my heart almost jumped out of my chest. Without realizing it, I released a frightened voice and grabbed his hand, pushing it away.
It was awful how fast my breathing picked up. I found myself leaning forward, ready to escape with his arm still holding my arm to keep me close.
"Shshshsh... Ceri, it's alright", Ithel said gently, with a voice laced with concern. I looked back at him and he met my eyes, smiling sadly, "It's just me. It's alright"
It was idiotic, but I wanted to tell him that we couldn't be sure about that. I thought we were alone before as well, and yet she was there somewhere close. She watched and she knew everything I did.
It sounded absurd to me, but......... was it really that far fetched?? If....... If she could find me on that ship, then she could find me here...
He pulled me back and I let him. It was Ithel, I told myself, why would I push him away? How could I!
"Ceri," he spoke gently, close to my ear, "We're safe here. We're alone right now, I promise."
I wanted nothing but to believe him. So I evened my breathing, eyes still looking around us. He was trying to soothe me so I cuddled closer into the safety of his chest. Eventually, I felt some peace settle inside me as his hand caressed my arm.
I looked back at him, staring at his beautiful face and wondering, how could I ever give him the peace he longed for? How could I give him the happiness he deserved?
"You are more to me than you know, Ithel... So much more"
I could see the way my words made him happier. Even without him smiling, his eyes lit and his features relaxed. He leaned in and joined his forehead to mine.
"I miss you, my little pearl. I miss you in every way"
I reached towards his lips with my tongue and licked them. He drew a sharp breath and his eyes lingered on my mouth for a moment, and instead of kissing me, he frowned slightly.
"I want to touch you. I want to feel your most intimate part.... I won't hurt you, I just........ I miss making you squirm in my hold"
His lips fell on mine and he claimed them. I kissed him back, as eager and desperate as he was. He pulled back a little too soon and I wined. His brows tugged in a small frown that I wanted to lick. But I didn't get the chance to because he repeated in a whisper, "I want to touch you"
His hand, that I just noticed had been on my thigh again, drew slightly higher. I had to bite my lower lip and close my eyes to keep myself from pushing him away, for I wanted him just as much as he wanted me.
Something teased my mouth making me open my eyes again. He was nipping at my lip softly as if to ask me not to bite on it so hard. I did as he wished and occupied my thoughts by kissing him. When his hand met my hardness, I moaned instantly.
It has been so long since we touched this way. Since before I was taken away from our den back home. Ithel didn't even try. I'd sometimes flinch or tremble at a mere touch, and that was painful enough for him to deal with. I was going through a lot, but I wasn't blind to how much my frights hurt him.
We........ we even skipped the Agape this year... Everything that we dreamed of doing drowned with it.
All of that, along with the frustration and the fears we've been facing for the past months, it all explained how desperate we both were to hold onto this moment.
So I refused to part with his sweet kisses as his hand that applied a delicious pressure to my manhood. His hand quickly found its way around my torn clothes and I released his mouth with a small cry.
"I love you", he said, eyes searching my face for any sign of discomfort or regret.
How could I regret being with him?
"Ithel... I-I-I'm sorry!". I've meant to confess my love, to please him and seduce him. Instead, it was a pathetic apology that I delivered.
I wanted to tell him how much I loved him... How every bit of my soul was hanging onto him like he was my only way of survival, the only reason for me to exist. And I wanted him to know how sorry I was for everything that I had caused him...
He pulled me closer and I felt his bulge on my hip. Heat invaded my face and my body as his hand reminded me of sensations I only ever felt with him, in his den.
Back home.... life was peaceful, despite the little troubles we had, troubles that I couldn't even remember now. In our den, we were happy and free. We played and touched and slept with no worries, no nightmares or evil spirits chasing us. Only the trees, the fresh fruits, and the sea.
Simpler times when all I thought about was catching rabbits and seducing Ithel. This amazing and irresistible Aello.
I turned slightly in his hold until I could nip at his jaw and kiss his neck. Ithel purred deliciously and that only encouraged me more. His hand moved along my length, sweeping up and down my bare skin, while his other hand cradled my head. I panted and kept teasing his neck and biting harmlessly at his skin. All the desire was coiling in my body and tightening under his fingers.
"You're enjoying this quite nicely", he said before squeezing my member and bringing his hand before us, where he opened and closed his fingers to show the substance that bathed them. My face turned a furious shade of red and he chuckled to that.
His hand sank down again, this time, it dipped further than my member, holding my privates and caressing back and forth between my cheeks. I let out my moans, and the heat intensified when his other hand grabbed my member and resumed pulling and squeezing enticingly.
Then, I tensed when his finger circled me, smearing my own milk on my skin over and over, before nudging at my most intimate place.
"I-I-I-Ithel...", I whimpered breathlessly.
"You're delicious"
The tip of his finger breached my entrance making me groan and arch my back.
"I-I-Ithel... w-w-what are you-nnnnhhh"
He halted and put his head against mine. "One word from you and I'll stop." His voice was deep and low, it sent tingles down my spine and to my thighs. "If you're... uncomfortable in any way, I'll stop and we could just....... kiss and play."
Kiss? Would that be enough?
I wouldn't have thought about kissing before, but now, with his luscious touches, I couldn't deny any of the feelings that made my heart ache and long for only him.
So instead of pushing him away, I held onto his arm. He was surprised for a second before he chuckled and nuzzled my hair, "Then let me taste more of you, my Aella"
His finger moved inside me again. I groaned and my breathing picked up. It felt so weird at first, but slowly, I started moaning as his movement started making me harder.
I threw my head aside to rest on his shoulder. I panted as I tried to focus on the desire that was getting stronger inside of me.
I moaned as his finger invaded me slightly deeper. Suddenly, his finger curled a little and I gasped.
"Sorry, does it hurt?"
I bit my lower lip. It hurt slightly, but....... it felt weird... like, good weird.
His finger left me and I found myself catching his hand and shaking my head, "I-It..... d-doesn't hurt"
He looked caught off guard for a second before he smirked and caught my lips with his. His kiss was so intense and demanding, it stole my breath away. And while his tongue explored my mouth with a passion that tamed my thoughts in a trance, his finger slipped inside me again and stretched me slightly, making me moan and squirm. His other hand quickened its movement around my member, tugging and rubbing the length of it in an addicting pace. The throbbing feelings he gave me became wild, increasing and tightening in my groin in an exhilarating rapture. It didn't take long for me to arch into his hand and unload in his hand.
I was panting hard, limply leaning on him as I smiled at the blissful feeling of euphoria that had invaded me. For a moment there, there was no nightmares, no problems or evil beings. Just me, in a soft cloud of happiness, with Ithel's arms around me and his head against mine.
He was whispering kind words to me. Words I didn't hear, but somehow I did feel. So I tucked my face into the crook of his neck and breathed him in until my mind regained its focus.
"Ithel... I......... I..........."
He laughed lightly and grinned, his head leaning on mine, "What you're trying to say is that you love me, my sweet Aella. You love me dearly and you'll always be mine"
I moved until I could gaze at his handsome face. It was so much more than that. I loved him, I owed him, I craved him, I wanted to be like him, to make him proud of me, to seduce him and hold him for eternity, and so much more than what my poor words could express
"I know. I can read your eyes. They're loud and honest, and I adore nothing more than the light I see in them."
A smile tugged my lips and he grinned, "At last, you smile, my little pearl"
I leaned in to kiss him and tug playfully at his lips. My heart may be heavy with feelings that kept me from speaking, but that didn't change how much I adored him, how much I wanted to show him what he meant to me.
I sank my hand down and he hissed when I grabbed him.
"Ceri, what are you-"
"Taste you," I whispered to him, "Enjoy you like you did me"
I squeezed my hand and that seemed to keep him quiet. He threw his head back a little as I focused on my movements. His member was engorged, he was hard as a rock already and I loved the feeling of him in my hand. So I joined in the other, and I rubbed him. His arms encircled me and his breathing picked up. I licked his jawline, drawing a path to his neck where I decided to take a bite.
He groaned, and I could feel the vibration of his voice through my lips that were latched onto his neck. Then he tensed and his hand covered both of mine and guided me to move faster up and down his length until he came in my hand.
I watched him in a daze as he dealt with his own soft cloud, his face looking a bit pained but blissful.
We stared at each other in silence, only the sound of a bird and the small fountain of life not far from us. He looked busy with his own thoughts, thoughts that were probably both kind and tormenting.
However, somehow we both agreed with a smile, that no words needed to be said. So we just gazed at each other for a long moment, bodies soiled and hearts warm, before I leaned closer and we met for a long, gentle kiss.
~~~~~~
"How about you come with me today?"
"Really?"
He smiled and swept my hair away from my eyes. "There's something I wanted to show you. But I need you to keep an open mind, alright?"
He threw his head back under the waterfall. It flew smoothly on his head and he seemed to enjoy the feeling of it.
I frowned. I was eager to go discovering and hunting with him, but why did he say it like that?
"I-I-Is it dangerous? Is it......... someone we know??"
He straightened, looking confused for a moment before his expression softened.
"Drita is not in this land, Ceri. I'd never say it unless I was certain of it. Please believe that."
I looked away. I wanted nothing but to believe in that. I did trust Ithel to no limit, but I also saw Drita with those evil souls in the belly of the ship. If she managed to find me there, it wouldn't be that difficult to get to me on land...
"This will be a nice surprise. It's about an hour from here. How about we leave now? And we'll try to find something to eat on the way"
I agreed. I took a last quick dip in the water before we both put our clothes back on and we went to explore the forest together.
Nature was a little different from back home but very beautiful. There weren't as many flowers and shrubs and the trees looked thicker but shorter. The leaves were mostly darker than what I was used to. I touched many of them as we walked and it was kind of Ithel to wait for me and not rush me.
It took us about two hours of walking, mostly because of my limp.
It was depressing to realize over and over how far I was causing him trouble and slowing him down.
My thoughts didn't torment me much because Ithel stopped and stared ahead. Curious, I hurried to join him and I gaped at the sight.
The ground dipped lower slowly, taking the forest with it. And on the horizon resided what looked like a village.
It was large, extending beyond what we could see. There was fires lit, I could see their smoke reaching for the sky. There were square houses everywhere in the village, people coming and going. I couldn't see what they were wearing from far up here, but they were definitely different from us.
"I found this yesterday and I wanted to show it to you", he came to stand before me and he lifted my chin so he could look me in the eye, "I don't they're anything like the foreign people we've met so far. I came a bit closer and... they have families and children"
"Families?"
He nodded, "So I don't want you to fear them, Ceri. I checked the area and I'll check again tomorrow. So far I think they hunt somewhere else. There isn't much of their trail in this forest. So they're no threat to us for now. We have to be careful though, alright?"
I nodded and looked past him at the village. Indeed, at first glance, it gave a peaceful feeling to it.
"I...... I guess children are a good sign"
He smiled, "We won't take any risk. We'll keep to ourselves and we'll be careful"
I totally agreed. If these people knew about us, they could hurt us like the others did. They could tell on us to the men from the ship and then the evil spirits and Drita would find us!
"Hey, no need to worry, love. We won't get near them"
"...... okay"
He patted my head. We watched the village from afar for a little longer, before Ithel said he had something else to show me.
We headed back, using a different path as Ithel explained, and on the way, we stopped at a weird looking stone. It was round like a circle and hollow inside. Ithel stood beside it.
"Come look, it's a well"
I came to his side and looked inside. Indeed, there was a deep hole in there, and it was dark at the bottom of it. The darkness gave the feeling that I had seen this before, and a creepy chill rode my spine. I gasped and stepped away from it immediately
"Are you alright??"
"I don't know..... this place is weird.."
"Right? That's because it's handmade. See how they arranged the stones from the inside out so the well wouldn't cave?"
Now that he mentioned it, it was kind of interesting. People who could dig deep into the ground and make it strong by using stones around it.
Ithel seemed to like it. I sat under a large tree that was stretching above the well. I rested while Ithel inspected the well more, then he took a walk around and came back with a wide smile.
"Look what I found!", he said as he showed me his hands, "I remember these fruits from Zula"
"Zula! Isn't that an island close to ours?"
"Indeed. I used to go there every couple of years when I felt too bored with my life."
He seemed to think nostalgically about the island while staring at the fruits in his hands before his eyes lifted to meet mine with a smile.
"What?"
He leaned down, kissed my forehead, "That was before I met the most beautiful Aella"
I felt the heat invade my face, making him chuckle. He knelt and took a bite of one fruit, hummed to its sweetness and then handed it to me. Then, he did the same with the others, giving me the most delicious and eating the others.
It took us a while to go back. Ithel left me by the fountains and went to find us a prey for the night.
And that's how the next week went. We'd have the most beautiful moments together and we'd forget about everything else. We'd drink, wash, clean each other, play with the water, eat... Ithel would leave me to go hunting. According to him, winter was near and it seemed to be a very cold one. We needed to prepare fast.
He apologized for leaving me alone. The more he worked now, the less we'll suffer in winter, he said. He promised to take me with him soon, repeatedly. However, the fact that we needed clothes and covers for the cold was more important to him.
Whenever I stayed alone, I cleaned the few animal skins we managed to get our hands on. I used a smooth rock to remove the fat, and then washed it and dried it. Then I repeated the process a couple of times until the skin was smooth and neat.
When he was around, we talked a little, mostly about what Ithel saw during his day or about the stars and the forest. Together, we were both happy and at peace. I was less and less tormented with my thoughts and they no longer stopped me from talking to him.... well, most of the days at least.
Nights, however, were another ordeal for me. While Ithel rested, I kept watching. He wanted to stay awake, but I insisted that it was my duty and that I wouldn't fail him with this task. And while it made me feel a bit better to be able to do something for him, I couldn't help the fears and feelings of hopelessness that came back like an angry wave to haunt me all night and day, only to disappear when Ithel was beside me, holding me or talking to me.
And it didn't get easier with him being gone for long hours every day. Hunting took a lot of his time and he said he had to find preys bigger than foxes, rabbits or birds, for their fur. Such animals seemed to be scarce around here and he needed to go farther each day to track them. Which made him exhausted at night.
So here I was, standing under the stars of dawn and watching him leave at a quick pace for his daily journey.
I looked around for something to occupy myself with. Usually, I'd sleep when Ithel left. But today sleep evaded me completely. I was mentally tired from the past night as Drita's face kept showing up in my thoughts. Even her voice echoed in my head to the point where it made nauseated.
"Alev is gone."
I limped as fast as I could to the waterfall and stuck my head beneath it, turning my head so the water would fill my ears. It was uncomfortable, but it muted the resonance of her voice.
I only pulled out when my lungs hurt from the lack of air. I gasped and threw my head back. I will not cry, I told myself. Crying only helped make me weaker and more pathetic. And if I wanted to be Ithel's mate, I had to become strong and worthy.
I stared at the dark sky, heaving and wishing for her dark spirit to leave me in peace, even if it was for one day.
I stood there until the sun rose and prettily illuminated the sky. The rising warmth of its light was soft on the skin and kind to my heart.
I searched around me for something to do. I didn't want to rest. I wanted to clean all the skins once again, to gather a big pile of pieces of wood for the fire, to clean the ground of any pebbles that could hurt Ithel's footing when he walked in our new home, or to cut down a tree trunk and carve bears in it.
... or a wolf. I've never seen a bear before.
I kept thinking and thinking until I found the most awesome idea ever.
I was going to build us a wall surrounding our sleeping area.
Ithel told me he intended to do this as soon as possible. He spoke about how he had to choose good branches that he would plant into the ground and attach together to keep us from the cold winds of winter.
And I was going to do it myself. It would be amazing if Ithel came back tonight to find that I built us a real den!!!
I'd be not only doing something good, I'd also spare him the hard labor and prove to him that I was useful.
I'm so smart. This is going to be great!