Aella (manxman) - ON HOLD - Chapter 9: Chapter 9

"You remember what I told you about greeting the Leader?"
"Yes, mother"
"And you listen to everything your father says. Do not give him any trouble, okay?"
"I will"
"And remember to pee before going to sleep and to wake up early"
The young boy nodded. He gave his mother a confident smile, one that was too mature for his age. Yet the boy of seven years old managed to look sharp, reliable, and determined.
I ran to the cave, going through my clothes and changing into the ones that looked the newest. After that, I went to the water spring and washed my face thoroughly. Then I washed my hands and forearms, making sure to remove any mud I got from playing with the other kids.
I went back, clean and changed, to find the Aellas patting the young boy and encouraging him.
"Congratulations, Moina", one of them said. Moina looked happy, but sad at the same time. It was always difficult for a mother to part from her child. It often made me wonder if my own mother looked at me like that before parting from this world.
Everyone was focused on Moina and her son. I took a step closer to them, and then one more. It felt good that no one paid attention to me. So I kept creeping closer to the boy, while making sure no one was about to yell at me.
Eventually, an Aella hunter came through the crowd and talked to Moina, telling her that it was time to go. Moina kneeled and hugged her boy, and I took the chance of everyone looking her way, to get even closer to them.
I knew this ritual all too well. Yesterday night, the Aellas danced and honored the spirits, and today, they prayed and asked for an honorable and prosperous future for the kid, and then they were about to let the boy leave the mountain.
In my awe, I didn't notice the Aella hunter staring at me. Drita, she was young, beautiful, and quite strong. For that, she was very well respected by all. As soon as I noticed her, I flinched and waited to be yelled at.
But that never happened. And it took all my courage not to cower and run away.
The young boy greeted the Aella Leader, and then walked behind Drita who led him to the cliff. She carried the boy and went to climb down the mountain. I hurried behind them, keeping a few feet between Drita and me.
As if she felt me behind her, Drita stopped and turned around. I halted waiting for her reaction. She only smiled, looking quite apologetic
"Go back, Ceri. The cliff is too dangerous"
I went to answer her, but someone grabbed my shoulder and pushed me back roughly. I almost fell, but managed to remain standing and look at Rhonwen glaring at me, she hadn't been made hunter yet
"What do you think you're doing? Stop causing trouble!"
Halina hurried to stand between us, blocking Rhonwen's sharp look: "Ceri dear, what are you doing here? Come on, how about a piece of dried fish? And then we'll play"
"No, I'm going with Drita"
She looked at me sadly, and then she smiled and ruffled my hair: "And leave me all alone? You know I can't live without my baby Ceri"
I shook my head: "I'm not a baby, Halina. I was twelve! I want to be an Aello too! I want to hunt and be strong and live in the forest! I...... I want to go meet my father too. It's ok, I did the ritual yesterday and I prayed to the spirits this morning! I'm ready, I promise"
"Oh, my sweet child........."
I stared at her expectantly, but the other Aellas noticed and some were now getting angry with me
"You leave here, and then what? Wander around in the forest on your own?", "You can't go because you're fatherless. And until someone claims you, you have no right to step in the Aellos' territory!", "Do you want to shame us??", "Halina, make sure he stays away from the cliff. It's too dangerous"
Halina didn't stick around to hear more. She grabbed my hand and pulled me as we went somewhere far from everyone. Her hand was gentle, but I could feel both her sadness and anger towards the clan.
I looked behind me. Drita was still watching me. A couple of seconds later, she turned around and disappeared as she walked down the mountain, heading towards the red smoke that reached to the sky as a signal of the Aellos' call.
My eyes stung, but I refused to cry. I was an Aello; Aellos are brave and they don't cry.
My father was there. It was alright, I still had a chance. My father just forgot, again.
He will remember me. One day, he will claim me.
That's what I believed back then. I was hopeless, yet every time the red smoke reached to the sky, my heart steered in expectation. It was a painful hope that kept me going. But it crushed my heart whenever the smoke faded and no one called for Halina to tell her that her son was claimed.
So maybe this was a good thing, right?
Having nothing to look forward to, meant there was no risk of disappointment.
This was for the best.
...
......
So why was it so painful?
Why did I feel like I missed my mother so much! My REAL. MOTHER!
I wanted her to smile at me. Tell me this wasn't my fault.
I always thought I had a special bond with the spirits because my mother was one of them. I didn't care if she sinned of whatever mistake she made. I loved her with all my heart. She was my mother, the only one who's supposed to love me no matter what!
I was a good boy, I swear! She would've been proud of me! ...... I think.
But now...... I wasn't the good innocent boy anymore. I was the Aello who couldn't hunt, the Aella who couldn't bear children, the only one in the tribe who got rejected by his father
'No' he said... I remembered that horrified look on his face and I still felt like those eyes were watching me with a clear and undeniable rejection.
"Cewi... don't cwy..."
It was Vreis. I felt his tiny hand on my back patting me, and he kept telling me not to be sad and to stop crying, with that adorable way the r's rolled on his tongue.
I could feel Halina shaking with me, silently crying too. She was panicking, and eventually she stopped asking me what happened and caved to her tears.
I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I kept feeling the hurtful tug of real loss of hope, making me wail even more.
Epona was standing by her mother, silent and scared. Vreis was crouching in front of me, while Halina held me closer to her.
She was the only one who loved me no matter what. And I couldn't figure out why. I've never thought about it before, but she had no reason to love me and bear with me for so long.
I could hear Rhonwen trying to console Halina, telling her I'll be fine and that she should stop worrying so much. Moina and many other Aellas were there too. For once, they didn't scold me at all. Even the voices that used to yell at me, were telling me not to be scared anymore; that I was home safe and that nothing would come chase after me here.
Even Sosanbra hugged Halina and me. She didn't ask or demand that I explained anything to her, and I appreciated that. Because no matter how much I tried, I couldn't stop sobbing, and I couldn't talk.
I didn't even dare look into any of their eyes.
~~~~~~~~
Eventually, I drifted to sleep. My night was restless, but I was too tired from all the crying to care.
When I finally woke up, it was late in the morning. I heard the Aellas argue about something I couldn't understand. I sat up and rubbed my eyes while trying to comprehend what the fuss was about.
"He must have done something!"
"Now listen to me, Rhonwen! You too, Velery! STOP ACCUSING MY CHILD! Or I'm taking this matter to Sosanbra and you both know how much she likes fights among Aellas!"
That was Halina. She was about ten feet away from me, facing the other way. She sounded pretty mad, which was extremely rare for her. As usual, Rhonwen didn't back down, but she didn't raise her voice above Halina's either
"Halina, please, you're not listening to me. The Leader specifically mentioned him! I was the one who got the message! He wants to speak to Sosanbra and he asked that Ceri accompanies her"
"I-I don't believe you!"
"......... You know I'd never lie to you, Halina. The Aello who delivered the message said it was a serious matter. If Ceri did anything wrong, you have to-"
"What, Rhonwen? I have to do what, hand him over? Give up my own baby for them to do as they please with him???"
Rhonwen's lips pressed in a tight line as she tried to hold back, but she couldn't eventually: "He's not your child, Halina!!"
Other Aellas went to pull Rhonwen away, but she pushed them back and stepped to Halina's face. And she said while holding Halina's shoulder: "I'm only trying to protect you. How could you not see that? He has caused you enough suffering already!"
"I'm not giving my child-"
"It's not your choice to make!!" Everyone went silent when Rhonwen yelled. She was a hunter Aella, she was respected and feared. And I think my aunt is one of the very few who dare talk back to her.
Rhonwhen breathed in and continued with a calmer voice, "It's not my choice either. The call has been made; the red fumes have been burning for hours, I went to check with Velery and an Aello told us that Cailyn wants a meeting with Sosanbra, and he said to bring Ceri along. Now Sosanbra is getting ready and she asked that we prepare Ceri as well"
My aunt didn't answer her. She was probably confused. Not more than myself, though.
Why did the Leader Cailyn ask for me? Did someone complain about me?
Oh no, did anyone see me kiss Ithel?????
Our tribe is very strict, and when someone goes against our laws, we were not known to be merciful.
I felt my heart almost stop at the next guess that crosses my mind.
Maybe that Aello told the Leader about me. W-What do they do to unwanted children?????? But I wasn't a child, was I? Did that even matter??
Halina stepped away from Rhonwen who went to move after her, but then decided against it when she saw me awake. Halina froze as soon as her eyes set on me. She wiped her worries and replaced them with a smile
"Morning, Ceri?"
I tried to do the same, hide my fears and smile. She came closer, gave me a quick hug and led me outside of the cave and away from all the Aellas with a simple: "Let's get you something nice to eat"
I didn't resist. I washed my face with her right beside me. And then she brought me some food and we sat together. I ate while she watched me and patted my hair from time to time.
After a few minutes, I couldn't eat anymore. I couldn't pretend like everything was normal. I was in an even bigger trouble than yesterday, and I didn't even know why or if my life was in danger.
"Halina...... I'll go with the Leader"
She gasped silently, and then looked away: "You heard..."
"Rhonwen was loud, like always"
"I swear, that hunter has a grudge against me! She's always meddling with my children! She thinks just because she's a hunter she can order ME around? I'm an elder! And it's time she learned to be respectful and less hateful!"
I smiled. That wasn't true, and Halina knew very well how much Rhonwen loved her. It was me that she was always after. She never spoke ill or even scolded Epona or Vreis, but me? She never stopped looking for ways to remind Halina of how troublesome my sole existence was.
I loved my aunt like my own mother, but I couldn't stop waiting for the day when she'll realize that I wasn't worth the trouble.
I was tired of it all. Tired of pretending like I was love worthy, that my father will one day come out and claim me... After yesterday... The fright in the morning, the happiness of seeing Ithel, the deep sadness and rejection at the end of the day...... I was tired of it all.
And if anything was to happen to me...... I didn't want to leave my aunt in a disagreement with a hunter.
"Rhonwen respects you very much. It sounds like, this time, it wasn't really her fault"
She didn't answer me. So I continued: "I'll go with the Leader and see what the Aellos want"
"No, Ceri. I won't let them-"
"Nothing bad will happen, Halina."
"...... Did something happen yesterday? Maybe if you tell me I'll know how to get you out of this"
I shook my head vigorously: "I didn't cause any trouble, I swear! I was good! I did everything I was told and I didn't anger anybody-"
"Good to hear! Now go put your best clothes on and let's head out to the forest"
We both looked up to Sosanbra who was staring at us with her arms folded.
"Come on, I don't like waiting"
We came out of our surprise and stood up. I bowed my head to Sosanbra while Halina approached her: "Sosanbra, please don't let them take my baby"
The Leader rolled her eyes: "No one is taking anyone, Halina. Besides, I don't even know why I'm being called and why Cailyn wants to see Ceri. Maybe he just wants to give us some gifts"
"No, something's wrong. I know it, I feel it!"
Sosanbra sighed and turned to me, motioning for me to go to the cave: "Don't keep me waiting, boy"
I scowled, but knew better than to retaliate. I hated how she called me 'boy', like I was three years old. I'm already a man!!
A few minutes later, we were ascending the mountain; Drita and Rhonwen helping the Leader, while I followed them slowly with Halina by my side. Despite Rhonwen's objections, Sosanbra didn't order my aunt to stay back, she just rolled her eyes and ordered us not to slip and die.
I helped Halina descend one of the big slippery rocks, and then I looked at the sky; the red fumes still reached for the skies calling for us. Halina caressed my arm and whispered: "It's ok, Ceri. No one will harm you, I promise"
I nodded and continued climbing down with the help of Drita from time to time.
I felt so torn between lassitude and fear
I didn't want to relive yesterday's events... my eyes stung at the memory, and no matter how much I had cried, the pain felt fresh and renewed.
'No'... he said...