affectionate - Chapter 13: Chapter 13

FALLON
Lucius pulled his head out of my neck, his tongue laving over the spot he'd been kissing for the past five minutes.
"I don't know why you do all of that when you know I'll have to rinse it all off anyways." Regrettably, this had been our new status quo for the past two weeks. Ever since I stopped by on that fateful Tuesday evening, the two of us were inseparable. After my last class I'd immediately take a detour on my walk home to Lucius's quaint little cottage. The door would be unlocked and I'd step in, warmth attacking my body and I accepted it with open arms every time. I'd also accept Lucius standing in the doorway of the kitchen waiting with piping hot tea in his hand. I'd drink his tea and we'd talk. Sometimes I left after our tea talks, I didn't want my father growing anymore suspicious than he already was though I was beginning to think I was failing at making that happen with the looks he sent my way when I walked through the door of my own home.
Other times, I stayed and we sat on the couch and basked in each other's presence, him trying but failing at discreetly smelling the air around me for a whiff of my blood, me, also trying but failing at mustering up enough confidence to get him to talk more about himself. A part from him being a vampire, being my bloodmate, turning when he was twenty-three, I knew nothing about Lucius. He knew next to everything about me yet I'd surely die if I was held at gun point and asked to name his favorite color.
Recently, my favorite development, was when he'd kiss and nip and lick at my neck like there was no tomorrow. I was sure this was some weird vampire thing but I wasn't complaining. The pleasure was toe curling and the noises he made were to die for. He let my hands explore every inch of back while he devoured the skin under my jaw so between me touching him and him kissing me on one of the most sensitive parts on my body I was in heaven.
My only complaint was that our...sessions never lasted long and Lucius never kissed me on my lips. Our relationship felt more like a friends with benefits situation than us being bonded together by our literal souls. I knew it was because he was still weary about the whole marking thing, which dampened my mood a bit when I remembered that fact, but I was patient and could wait. Not too long though, I was risking both of our lives by indulging him and when it really came down to it only one of us was immortal.
"You love it." The side of my lips quirked up in a half frown and I eyed the smug look on his face with annoyance.
"Love is a stretch. I...thoroughly enjoy it." He made a noise similar to "tuh" and I made a mental note to stop doing that around him.
"You should leave, don't need that bitch getting fussy and souring your mood and simultaneously souring mine as well." My shoulders sagged and I stood up from the couch. He looked up at me, his beautiful eyes contrasted perfectly with his colorless skin. "Ask it, Fallon."
"Why won't you mark me?" Lucius raised a questioning eyebrow.
"I already answered that question, Fallon. Why the sudden change in topic?" It was awkward now, the air between us was still and I shifted my weight onto one foot and looked down.
"I dunno. And yes, I know, consent this, consent that. But what is the real reason. Aside from my crazy ass parents." He shifted in his spot on the couch and looked down at his fingers.
"It is a scary thing to know that you've learned how to read me just as well as I read you." I looked at him through my lashes, he was still burning holes into his fingers, a faraway look rested in his eyes.
"When I was turned, it was not by choice. Far from it actually. I was the victim of a hungry vampire that didn't know how to feed without leaking his venom into me. To make matters worse, I was alone when it happened. Nobody was there to help me through the change so I was forced to turn by myself. It was painful, my insides felt like they had been dowsed in acid and my heart was racing so rapidly the rest of my body couldn't keep up. When it was over, I was overcome by hunger and I accidentally killed my first victim. I felt terrible and didn't know what to do so I went to my close friend's house at the time and told him everything. He was supportive at first, told me everything would be fine and sent me home with a warm smile. After that I never heard from him again. He disappeared out of my life and I convinced myself it was for the better, that I would end up hurting him too." He paused for a moment and tears pricked my eyes. I tried really hard not to feel pity or sad because I knew Lucius would feel it too.
"Time went by and eventually I left that town, moved to a different one. I made new friends of course, I wasn't in my loner phase yet and I quite enjoyed the company of others. But one night our town was attacked by a group of crazed vampires and my friends all died. Unsurprisingly I left that town too. I didn't try getting close to anyone but it was like people just gravitated towards me and somehow I ended up in huge friend group. I slipped up and drunkenly told them what I was and just like my first friend, they were understanding about it first then slowly but surely all somehow fell off the face of the fucking earth. I did not understand it at the time, but the supportive smiles and laidback atmospheres were just fronts. They were scared I was going to flip out on them if they didn't support me which I wasn't. They didn't see me as Lucius Dendron anymore, they saw me as a deadly monster who'd somehow forget all of his morals and kill everyone despite the relationships I had built with them."
"Anyways after that, I never stayed in one place for more than a week. I didn't see the point of relationships, romantic or platonic, if they were just going to end badly. It was odd at first but the longer I did it the more I enjoyed the life of going wherever, drinking whoever, and fucking whoever. Then I stumbled into Melrose and met you. I thought it was ironic that my soulmate was not only my soulmate but my bloodmate. Sick and twisted if you ask me. I had no intentions of pursuing you. But after that night at your job and that time on the street I knew I was screwed. I won't mark you because deep down I'm scared that something will happen and you'll leave me just like everyone else except this time it'll hurt more because you are the one person in this world who's supposed to stay by my side no matter what."
My heart clenched in my chest at the same time Lucius's jaw clenched and I could tell I wasn't doing a very good job at concealing my emotions.
"I won't leave you Lucius." It was an empty promise and we both knew it but I didn't know what else to say. Lucius waved me off and stood from his spot on the couch.
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Fallon." He walked out of the room and down the hall towards the bathroom. I assumed he wanted me to follow him but I stood rooted in my spot, thoughts of my father and the reality of our situation plaguing my brain.
When I returned home that evening, not late, dinner was already done and my parents were sitting in their usual spots at the table eating and conversing quietly. I toed off my shoes and hung my jacket up. My mother had gotten me a backpack for Christmas so I was forced to ditch my beloved tote and switch it out for back pain. I dropped said backpack onto the floor and took my place at the table where my food sat untouched on a plate.
"You can warm your food up if you want, it might be a little cold." My mother smiled at me and I sent her a weak one back. Things between us had been rocky but after Christmas Eve it was like something in her head clicked and she realized that even though my soulmate was a vampire I was still her daughter and she had to be present in my life whether she liked it or not. And that using magic on your daughter against her will was fucked up. Either way, it was clear that she was trying to right her wrongs and who was I to stand in the way of that?
"Where you been goin' after school?" I inwardly sighed. My father, on the other hand was still insufferable as ever. On Christmas Eve, instead of comforting me and swearing that he'd kill whoever hurt me, he was extremely dismissive of the entire situation and had somehow convinced himself that it had something to do with Lucius and I wasn't telling the truth. No matter how many times I told him that Lucius and I hadn't seen each other since November, he still didn't believe me. Granted he had every right not to, I had been seeing Lucius everyday for going on three weeks now and had no intentions of stopping.
"I started walking the trail again. The one by the college remember? All the snow has melted so it's not so slippery anymore and it isn't as cold anymore either." I said, my voice strong and unwavering. It wasn't a complete lie, I did walk the trail and it wasn't my fault that Lucius lived in a small, warm cottage just a couple yards south of it.
My father hummed and continued eating but I knew better. He didn't believe me in the slightest. My time spent with Lucius was dwindling down. I'd either have to stop seeing him so frequently or stop seeing him completely and that was something I knew neither of us was ready for.
The way things were left today between Lucius and I had me kicking myself in the butt for asking him such an invasive question. He answered it but my overthinking made me feel like he only answered because he felt like he had to which he most definitely did not. However, Lucius wasn't the type of person to do things based on the interests of others. Either way, I dreaded seeing him tomorrow. Things were sticky between us now and I didn't know how to approach the topic and apologize without him getting snippy and dismissing me. But now, with my father on my case, I had to see him despite my own personal feelings. I had to tell him that we needed to stop, we weren't being careful enough and my father was catching on. Melrose wasn't big enough for me to keep coming up with lies, they would catch up to me eventually and consume me whole.
I sighed a big heavy sigh and ate my food in silence, my life had not known peace since early November and I found myself missing the month more and more.