affectionate - Chapter 18: Chapter 18

FALLON
Because I wasn't—or over—the legal drinking age, I had never been drunk before. And even though the corner store I worked at definitely sold cheap liquor that even I could afford on my tiny salary, I had no friends to drink irresponsibly with. Drinking alone seemed sad and depressing so I had never done that before either for the sake of my already deteriorating mental health.
But this, whatever this even was, had to be the closest thing to hangover that there was.
When I awoke, my surroundings were unfamiliar and for a moment I thought I had been drugged and kidnapped until I realized whose couch I was on and immediately relaxed. A blanket had been thrown over me and I quickly tossed it off. Memories of what happened flooded my brain too fast. A splitting headache formed right smack dab in the middle of my skull and I cursed and gripped my hair there as if that was going to do anything to curb the pain. It was dark outside but I was still wearing the same clothes so it was safe to assume that it was still the same day. My mind shifted to Lucius. If I was here in his house then that meant he was okay, that maybe my last minute idea had actually worked.
However, I was scared to face him. We'd been...intimate and he admitted that he wanted to drink my blood but outside of all of that we hadn't discussed it any further. I practically forced it down his throat in what I thought was an attempt at saving him and now we were connected on a deeper level than we had been before. It scared me to know this, to know that right around this very second my body was replenishing the blood it had lost and some just to satiate Lucius. And it would be like that for the rest of my life. There was no going back now, not that I wanted to, but now we were tethered in mind, body and soul. All that was left was for him to mark me, if he still wanted to do that, that is.
I groaned and rubbed the sleep from my eyes while swinging my legs off of the couch to put myself in a sitting position. I did not by any means, feel like having a conversation with Lucius about everything that just happened. If anything, I wanted to sweep it under the rug and forget about it. I was content living my life and acting like none of that ever happened. But nothing was ever that simple, especially in my life. Grimacing, I stood up, careful not to topple back over. I still felt weak from the blood loss and the headache wasn't helping. I decided that I should find Lucius, it was quiet in the cottage but I knew he was here.
I tiptoed down the hall towards his room and peaked in the door. The room itself was empty but I could hear water running in the bathroom. I took a deep breath before pushing the door open and advancing further in the room toward the bathroom door, it was cracked and I could see the tub but not Lucius so he must've been sitting on the counter.
"Stop sneaking around and come in here, Fallon." My face heated up at his words and I tried to look as neutral as possible as I opened the door and closed it behind me.
Which was not the best choice for me to make, to put it simply.
I knew it wasn't a good time to stare and I prayed that Lucius was much more focused on the events from today to ignore the flurry of inappropriate things that I was thinking right now. Lucius sat on the counter, one leg on top of it and bent into a triangle while the other stayed put on the floor. He was facing the mirror, his never ending blue eyes staring at me and stirring up unwanted feelings inside my stomach. He was shirtless, I could only see his back but tattoos I had never noticed covered the better parts of it and the urge to reach out and trace them with my fingers was extremely strong. I shoved my hands in my back pockets to stop myself from doing anything stupid. His hair was plastered onto his neck by sweat. He was definitely due for a cut, it had finally grown past the tops of his ears and I wanted to do nothing more than run my hands through it, untangle all the knots and mess it up until I liked it.
From the reflection in the mirror I could tell he was patching himself up. He was back to his usual pale instead of that sickly pale I never wanted to see again. His stomach was completely healed but light pink scars marred his previously smooth skin. He seemed to be cleaning the rest of the blood on his shoulders and arms away with the cotton balls. I glanced at the counter and saw an array of first aid items. Cotton balls, alcohol wipes, gauze, bandages and tape were scattered around the counter. Somewhere deep inside of me, I felt the urge to patch himself up myself, I needed to see with my own eyes and feel with my own hands that he was okay and not dying anytime soon.
When I looked back up into the mirror he was still drilling holes into my face and I unconsciously rubbed my cheek at the feeling of sparks blooming in response to his incessant gaze.
"I'm sorry," I rushed out. He sighed before throwing down the cotton ball he was using to dab at all the left behind dried blood. He maneuvered himself on the counter to where he was now sitting directly in front of me with both feet on the floor, back facing the mirror. I sucked in a breath. It was unfair how good he looked, especially after the day he had.
"C'mere," He rasped. My knees went weak at the sound of his voice, so quiet and soft that I almost fell. I shuffled in between his legs. With him sitting down we were the same height. I settled my gaze on the all the materials he had gathered around him.
His hands attached themselves to my waist and his fingers snuck under my shirt, kissing my skin with their rough pads and leaving imaginary shapes in their wake. He tugged me closer and my hands gripped his thighs to steady myself.
"What did I tell you about being scared around me?" He murmured, fingers still kneading my flesh like dough.
"I'm not scared," He hummed and let his hands travel to my lower back to rub up and down.
"I can feel you, Fallon. Your emotions are my emotions, remember that." I sucked in what was hopefully the last breath that I would have to suck in today.
"I'm not scared I'm just—I'm sorry—For everything. I'm sorry for everything. The fight, not being able to help you during it, and for—forcing you to drink my blood. Because I know we didn't talk about that and I just did it and you're—what are you doing?" One of Lucius's hands had left my back and grabbed my wrist, specifically the one he drank from. Hot kisses plastered themselves all along my forearm and paired with the hand on my back it was too much.
"Making sure you healed properly. Are you feeling weak?" I was so caught up with everything else that I didn't even realize my wrist had been completely healed, almost like the cut never existed. Lucius pressed my wrist to his mouth again and looked up at me, awaiting my answer. His eyes were blown and back to their indigo color.
"A little, yes. Lucius—" He dropped my wrist—finally—and returned his hand to its original position on my lower back. His thumbs teased the skin of my waist. He was driving me fucking crazy.
"You don't need to apologize for anything that happened today. I told you if that bitch touched you again I'd kill him, so that's what I...tried to do. My only mistake was not being prepared for it. I haven't fed in a little over a week which gave him somewhat of the upper hand. And I wanted you to feed me your blood. So stop beating yourself up, I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you." By the end of his little speech his arms were fully wrapped my body. Our faces were centimeters apart from each other, if I wanted to I could kiss him right now.
"Why haven't you been...feeding?" I was almost mad at him for it. If he had been at his full strength he could've overpowered my father. I mentally pinched myself for thinking in favor of Lucius, a man I had only known for three months, over my literal father. I abhorred myself for even thinking about that outcome but the feeling came and went. That man wasn't my father anymore.
"Melrose is not big enough to satisfy my needs anymore. You however..." He trailed off while dragging his gaze up my body, navy eyes settling on the crease in my neck just above my collarbone and right under my ear.
"You're all I need now." I shivered and looked down at my hands, my fingers were digging into his thighs and I quickly let go, afraid of hurting him more than he already was.
"I thought you didn't—" Lucius closed his eyes and breathed out heavily before meeting mine again, his eyes were changing again, sapphire battling against the color of the sky just after the sun rises and takes over the earth; after the moon inevitably falls to its demise once more.
"Were you listening to a word I said the other day or does everything I say to you go in one ear and right out the other? Yes, the situation was less than ideal but I wanted it, Fallon. I want you." I did remember everything he told me not even two days ago but overthinking had a funny way of making everything that you know is true into lies and new worries.
"The only thing I regret doing today is drinking so much from you." I tried to look away but his hand caught my cheek and forced me to look at him. His eyes roamed my face and it was torture just standing there and watching him watch me. Despite what he said I still felt bad about what happened. I wasn't going to bring it up anymore, he made his point on the matter very clear.
"Stop thinking so hard about everything, Fallon." His hand dropped from my face and his other one detached from my back. I did a full body shudder before stepping away from him to regain my composure. Lucius began cleaning up his mess, there were countless bloody cotton balls piled up the sink and I looked away so guilt wouldn't claw at my throat. When he was done putting everything away, he stood from his spot on the counter and turned to face me. His shirt was still off and I wanted it on him immediately because this was a dangerous situation.
He closed the short distance between us until we were chest to chest and I looked up at him. The air around us was hot and tension quickly filled the cramped space. He reached out to me, or I thought he did. I closed my eyes waiting for his hand to touch me somewhere but it never did. Instead, I felt the air of the door being pushed open brush against the back of my neck. Lucius put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around to walk us out the bathroom.
"You need to eat something to get your strength back. I'll feed you and then we can talk, for real this time." I cocked my head to the side. If he wasn't mad about the fight, or even about me forcing him my blood, then what was there to talk about? The rest of the problems born from today's events were my own and needed to be handled by me. They involved my parents and after today I didn't want Lucius anywhere near them for their safety. He was teeming with new life, my blood made sure of that. If he and my father fought again he would no doubt be the one walking away from the fight, blood that didn't belong to him staining his clothes.
"Talk about what?" Lucius steered me into the kitchen and sat me down at the nook.
"Your body quite literally makes blood for me now, aren't you curious about that?"