All is Found - Chapter 24: Chapter 24

Time moves to fast when you don't want it too. I feel like I rushed to pack everything I would need for the next two months on the road. I packed most of it on the tour bus already that was already on its way to Washington State where the first stop of the tour would be. We still had two weeks before the first show date and I had way too much to do when I get to California.
But for right now I'm trying to push it all from my mind. I just said bye to Pat along with giving him tickets for the show in Massachusetts. He will come down with Thea to the show and we will drive him home afterwards. Then Thea will be joining me on the bus to New York City where we have two shows and a day off together before she needs to head home and back to work.
Thea is waiting for me when I got home from Pat's house on my couch with a glass of wine waiting for me. I need to leave for the airport soon and this is how I wanted to spend our time together. I curled into her waiting arms and just breathed her in trying to memorize her scent.
Before I let myself fall asleep I reached behind me on the end table and picked up a small jewelry box. I sat up next to Thea and watched as she sat up straighter on the couch.
"I wanted to give you something before I left and I did a bit of googling and knew I had to get this for you when I saw it. I don't know if you have one or if you are even religious or believe in any of that stuff but I wanted to give you this." I said and pushed the box into her hand before I rambled on some more. Thea didn't say anything but opened up the box.
"It's a Saint Michael pendant, patron saint of police officers and I had this blessed by the priest at the church I go to every once and a while. I wanted to give this to you to protect you." I said trying to clamp down my feelings.
"I haven't worn one of these in a long time. Will you put it on me?" Thea asked in a small voice. I nodded and took the necklace from her hand and clasped it around her neck.
"I won't take it off." Thea said and gave me teary smile.
She closed the jewelry box and took a large sip from her wine. I had a feeling there is a story behind that but I wasn't going to push it right now. Thea put her wine glass down on the table once she finished the alcohol in her glass and sat back on the couch.
"Last time I wore one of the these was the one my wife gave me. After she died I felt like nothing mattered anymore and I stopped wearing it. I was just in a such a lost state of mind I didn't know what to do with myself and I didn't care if I died. Lindsey pulled me out of such a hard downward spiral and once I got myself to a stable mindset I still didn't have the heart to put it back on. Now that I have you in my life I feel like I want this extra protection to be able to come home to you." Thea said and wiped away a tear that escaped her eye.
I didn't say anything but pulled her into me and held her close. We never really talk about Thea's wife but every once she'll talk about her and I just listen. I still don't know what happened to her but I won't ask unless she is ready to talk about it. It took Thea a few minutes to get herself together but after she did she pulled away from me and wiped her eyes.
"I actually got you something too." Thea said and reached into her sweatshirt pocket to pull out a jewelry box.
I smiled and accepted the box from Thea and opened it up. Inside is a miniature version of Thea's gold sergeants badge.
"Great minds must think alike. I want you to have a little piece of me for the road." Thea said with a smile.
"I love it, put it on me." I said and turned around for her to clasp it into place.
Thea secured the necklace around my neck and gave the back of my neck a kiss before I turned back around. I checked the time and pulled Thea into me. We still had some time before we needed to go. I actually had an alarm set for the time we needed to leave the house just in case we fell asleep.
My alarm went off and I wasn't ready to leave. Thea got up off the couch and went to the bathroom while I looked over my house again to make sure everything was locked up tight and made sure I didn't miss anything while I was packing. Once I was sure I had everything I shut off all of the utilities and started to load the bags I had left into Thea's truck.
Once everything was out I gave the house one more sweep before I locked the front door and met Thea in her truck. I watched as Thea pulled away from my house and I sighed. The past two months have probably been the longest I've been home in over a year and I will greatly miss it. We drove in silence as we made our way to the one stop I wanted to make before the airport.
March has been kind to us this year and the weather isn't to cold. The snow has started to melt with the milder weather and it made me happy as we pulled through the front gates of the cemetery. I needed to see my siblings before I left for the road because they haven't popped in on me in a while. Thea killed the engine and I sighed and looked over to where my siblings resting place is.
"My wife is here; I'll meet you back here when you're done okay?" Thea said with a faraway look in her eyes. I just nodded and leaned over to give her a kiss on the cheek. Thea flashed me a small smile and got out of the truck. I followed her lead and grabbed a blanket from Thea's back seat and the flowers I bought from the store.
The walk to their graves is unfortunately familiar and I took my usual seat in front of them. I split the marigolds in half and laid some in front of both of their graves before sitting down on the blanket. Ashers' Boston Red Sox hat sitting tightly on my head as I looked at their graves and empty spot next to my sisters.
"Stop thinking about that Ashlyn." Asher said.
My eyes snapped back to his grave and I saw him sitting on the snow covered ground leaning against this headstone. Ashley copied him and leaned her head on her knees.
"I haven't seen you guys in a while, I just wanted to see you before I left." I said and gave them both a small smile.
"Just because you don't see us doesn't mean we aren't there watching over you. We have been keeping tabs on you and saw you got together with Thea." Ashley said.
"She makes me so happy. I think I love her." I said with tears in my eyes.
"That's a good thing Ash. She is good for you." Asher said and moved closer to me.
"We were with you when you signed the final contract for the tour and the album and we will be following you along on tour to make sure you don't get in too much trouble." Ashley said.
"Good, I'm going to need you guys out there with me the first night, I'm a bit rusty with this." I said looking both of them over.
"This is your time to chase the dream you started almost 10 years ago Ashlyn. Don't let anything hold you back." Asher said and placed his hand over my knee. Ashley followed his lead and I wish this could be real.
"I wish I could feel your touch." I said with tears in my eyes.
"We know. It's time to go though Ashlyn, this was only supposed to be a quick stop." Ashely said and gave me sad smile.
"Fuck, I hate that I have to leave you guys behind." I said and wiped away the tears that started to fall.
"We know, but like Ashley said, we will be with you always. Here, take these two flowers with you. Even though we can't psychical be there for you here is a little piece of us that can be." Asher said and waved his hand.
I watched behind him as one flower from the bunch in front of his tombstone moved away from the rest. Ashley waved her hand just like Asher and a flower did the same.
"Ashlyn, we need to leave or you're going to miss your flight!" I could hear Thea yell from somewhere behind me.
"Go, we will be here when you get back." Ashley said and gave me a smile.
"I love you guys so much." I said and tried to suck up the last of my tears.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and when I opened them my brother and sister were gone. Just as I picked up the two flowers that moved out of place I felt a gust of wind through my hair and I knew it was them. My eyes watered again as I grabbed the blanket and walked away from their graves.
Thea was waiting in the truck for me and we didn't say anything as we drove to the airport. This flight I would be taking with Diego and I was meeting him in the terminal. The record label even sprung to fly both of us in first class.
The ride to the airport was way too short for my liking. Thea pulled up to the drop off point and put the truck in park. I made sure the flowers were safe in my bag and looked over at Thea.
"You have the stations number if you need to get a hold of me and can't get me on my cell. My shifts are going to be a bit staggered for the moment until I get into the sergeants rotation." Thea said and looked at me with those big sad hazel green eyes.
"I know baby, you gave me a copy of your schedule." I said and gave her a smile.
"Right, uhm yea, call me when you get settled okay?" Thea said as her eyes watered.
"Of course baby." I said and leaned in and gave her a hard kiss. The next time I'm going to see her won't be for a month so I wanted to give her something to remember me by.
"You're going to be amazing out there. I might even have Lindsey set me up on social media just to watch clips of you out there." Thea said with a chuckle when she pulled away.
I leaned in again and gave her another kiss before getting out of the truck. I needed to get to my flight. Thea helped me load a luggage cart when once all of my bags were out of her truck Thea gave me a bone crushing hug.
"You need to go Ash." Thea said and slowly eased up on her hold.
"If I look back at you I won't be able to get on that plane." I said as I pulled my head off her shoulder.
"Go" Thea said and pulled away from the hug.
I took the luggage cart and pushed it through the terminal. Is this what love feels like? I feel like I just left half my heart with Thea as I tried not to cry the whole way through the terminal. I should have told her I love her.