Alpha Alec's Redemption - Chapter 112: Chapter 112

“I’ll win your love back. Mark my words!”His words keep ringing in my head over and over again. I try to block them, to bury them, to ignore them, but nothing works. They keep playing in my head like a broken record.I scoff at both his words and my inability to ignore them. It sounds ridiculous when you think about it. I mean, how does he think he’s going to win back my love? You can’t win back a love that’s already dead. You can’t win back something that you yourself destroyed.I drop on a log once I am certain I’ve put some distance between us. I knew that coming back to his pack would be a challenge, but I never thought it would be this difficult.Everywhere I turn, there are memories that haunt me. I have lived here since I was a baby.
It’s hard to ignore almost twenty-one years’ worth of memories even though most of them become tainted when this pack, along with its leader and my best friend, turned their backs on me.I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I can see them clearly. The memories of the naïve fool I used to be. I can still feel the love I had for Alec, as if it’s still alive in me somehow. I can even taste my tears every time I cried because, unknowingly, he broke my heart.Looking back at my former self, I can’t help but be disappointed and disgusted. I can’t believe that I chased a man. I can’t believe I continued to chase after Alec even though I knew he would never consider me as a lover.
That’s why I prayed so hard for him to be my mate, because I knew he wouldn’t have chosen me otherwise.A chuckle full of mockery leaves my lips. I did get my wish, and my prayers were answered, but things didn’t go as I had expected. It honestly was the cruelest twist of fate.Sometimes I wonder if our lives were a kind of sick joke to the moon goddess. I wonder if it entertains her to watch as she messes with lives without a care in the world. Does she sit on her all-mighty throne and laugh as she plays with our lives? It’s not once or twice since my life went to shit that I questioned if she actually gives a fuck.
I stopped believing in her, and I honestly think she’s a nasty, selfish bitch.“Don’t fucking talk about her like that!” Nyx growls so viciously, it makes me topple over just from the intensity of it.I grab the sides of my head, hoping it will ease the pain she caused. “Technically speaking, I didn’t talk about her; I thought about her… and besides, what I said is the truth.”“No, it’s not!” She fires back, her claws digging into my head, punishing me for my blasphemous thoughts. “She’s kind and loves all her children. She has the best interest for us at heart. She is good and gracious. Gives without asking for anything back. She forgives and shows mercy no matter how many times we break her heart…”“I’m going to have to stop you there, Nyx.
You are trying to make her sound like a freaking girl scout.”“She’s the moon goddess…show some respect.”I sneer before getting off my knees and planting my ass on the ground. There is no way I am going to risk another fall off the log when she decides to give me a splitting migraine.Nyx and I agree most of the time. Okay, about ninety-five percent of the time. The other five are usually because of two things: her secrets and the goddess. I’m bitter with the goddess. Sue me! But she doesn’t get it. She believes wholly in her, despite the hell I was put through.
If she was indeed good and kind, given the pain I endured three years ago, she should have given me another man as my mate… But no, instead she makes me the mate of the same man who broke my heart and body! How does that show she’s good? Where in all that does it prove she’s a loving goddess? It just shows how cruel she is!“She doesn’t deserve my respect. Not after what she allowed to happen,” I tell her, all the while feeling her anger simmering to the surface.She doesn’t reply immediately. Instead, she closes her eyes for a second before opening them again. “One of these days you are going to regret all the shit you said about her.”I laugh at her words even though, for some reason, they send a shiver down my spine. She said them so surely. As if she knew and believed what she was saying.
Her serious tone also doesn’t help at all.“Whatever,” I mumbled, folding my elbows above my knees.I sigh for the hundredth time, wondering why my life can’t be easy and boring. I didn’t ask for any of these, yet it was dropped in my lap. If it were up to me, I would have gone for a simple life, where my mate, children and I were happy. Things would have been simpler that way. I haven’t had a moment of peace since whoever paid Calvin decided to stir shit up in my life.“But we weren’t meant to have a normal life, Sadie,” Nyx murmurs, bringing my focus on her. I thought she had blocked me in her anger. “My life wasn’t meant to be simple.
It was written in stone, way before either of us came into existence.”“What the hell are you talking about?”“You can’t change what’s been written,” she responds with a faraway look. “I’ve been around a long time, and I can tell you one thing, Sadie: we aren’t normal wolves, and we weren’t meant to have normal lives. It’s time you accepted that and stopped complaining.”I hear her, and I hear what she’s saying, but only one thing rings in my mind; I’ve been around a long time. I’ve always wanted confirmation, and there it was. Question is, how long has she been around?“Care to expound on that?” I ask, leaning forward, eager to get as much information as I can.“Exactly that…There isn’t anything to explain.”“There is,” I sigh at her stubbornness.
“I was hoping you could give me a number instead of just saying that you’ve been around a long time.”She hums, her eyes closed and her head on her paws, but doesn’t say anything. I humph in frustration, my shoulders slumping in surrender. I know Nyx, and I know that she wasn’t going to give me anything beyond what she had told me.Standing up, I give the place one last look before turning to leave. There wasn’t any use dwelling on things I had no control over. Trying to think of what Nyx is keeping from me will only drive me insane, so instead, I should just focus on the information I already have.With that, I walk purposefully towards the pack house as an idea starts to form in my head. Raven and I haven’t been out in a while.
Hell, I haven’t spent quality time with Aspen since we arrived at this pack. I think we can take today off, even if it’s for a few hours. I need it, and I am sure Raven needs it as well.Our lives took a drastic turn the moment Alec stepped foot in our pack. I want to put all the blame on him, but I can't because something tells me that Alec is just a puppet in whatever game this is, and whatever is happening is something that has been building up for a long time.