Alpha Alec's Redemption - Chapter 144: Chapter 144

Sadie
The wind danced around me, soft but persistent, stirring the tall grass that brushed against my legs. It was cool, yet beads of sweat trailed down my spine, clinging to my shirt as if they were trying to remind me just how much effort I was putting into this. My heart pounded, not from exertion, but from the tension that came with trying—and failing—over and over again.
“Breathe, Sadie,” Nyx’s voice echoed softly in my mind, calm and steady. “You’re trying too hard again. You need to let it come.”
I exhaled through my nose, tightening my jaw. “I am letting it come.”
“No, you’re pushing it,” she replied gently. "You’re too tense. You can’t force it. You have to flow into it.”
I closed my eyes again, trying to listen. I felt for the power deep inside me—the new form that hummed just under my skin, waiting to be released. I reached, called to it, pleaded for it to answer me.
Nothing.
No white wings. No shimmering dress. Just silence and frustration.
I've been at this for hours and still nothing. Nyx wasn't joking around when she said we would resume training right away; only problem is, so far I have yielded nothing.
“I can’t do it,” I muttered, opening my eyes.
“Sadie”
“I can’t Nyx.”
Nyx sighed. “Let’s take a break.”
I sank to the grass, pulling my knees up and folding my arms over them. “Why can’t I do it?” I asked, more to myself than her. “We’re running out of time. Xena’s out there probably planning to break Kaden free. Everyone’s counting on me to be something I can’t even reach.”
I felt like crying. I wanted to cry. It was right there at the edge of my soul, yet I couldn't reach it no matter what I tried.
Tears filled my eyes before falling down my cheek. I furiously wiped them away. I felt pathetic for crying simply because I couldn't shift. I know I was being hard on myself, but I just couldn't stop myself. So much depended on me mastering these powers, yet I was having a difficult time even calling this other form.
“You’re stressed,” Nyx said, her voice quieter now, laced with warmth. “You’re trying to carry too much. Your focus is shattered, and your heart is tangled in knots. You’re not failing… you’re just overwhelmed.”
I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. Because the truth was—I did feel like a failure. My powers were supposed to be a part of me. They were supposed to answer when I called. And yet here I was, still human in every way that mattered when it came to the one thing that could turn the tide in this war.
I felt like I was about to burst. I wanted to throw a tantrum like a child, but I didn't. I couldn't.
The sound of footsteps behind me pulled me out of my thoughts. I turned, already guessing who it was.
Alec.
He came toward me, the wind ruffling his hair, his presence cutting through the haze of my failure like sunlight breaking through a storm. His eyes locked onto mine, and the bond pulsed between us. Alive. Unrelenting.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice low and quiet.
“No,” I admitted.
He didn’t hesitate—just came closer and sat down beside me, close enough for me to feel the heat radiating off his body, but not close enough to touch.
“What’s wrong?”
“I can’t shift,” I said simply, eyes still trained on the field ahead. “I’ve tried everything. Nyx is trying to help me, but it’s not working.”
He should be the last person I should be admitting my failures to, but for some weird reason I felt some kind of peace telling him my worries. Was this because of the bond? Or was it because I was finally starting to let go of my bitterness?
There was a pause before he spoke again. “You know… I used to struggle too. Controlling Knox, I mean.”
I turned to him, brows raised. “You? Struggle?”
To say I was shocked would be an understatement. This is Alec we are talking about. Everything seemed to always come effortlessly to him. I don't remember ever seeing him struggle with anything. He made everything seem easy, so I guess eventually I started putting him on a pedestal, assuming he never struggled like the rest of us.
He chuckled, nodding. “Hard to believe, I know. Everyone thinks being an Alpha means you just get it. Like power and your wolf answer to you on command.” He looked ahead thoughtfully. “But the first time I shifted… it nearly broke me. Knox is strong. Stubborn. And angry. For a while, every time I shifted, he’d take control. I couldn’t hold him back. I couldn’t control him or the shift, so eventually I stopped shifting.”
“I didn’t know,” I whispered.
I never would have guessed that it was that hard for him. I thought I knew him from the inside out. I guess I didn't, because how come I never knew this about him? How come I didn't know he had struggled with Knox?
“I didn’t tell anyone,” he replied with a shrug. “I was ashamed. But eventually, I realized I couldn’t fight him forever. So, I stopped trying to control him, and I just… accepted him. I accepted that Knox was a part of me. I embraced the power of an Alpha and I allowed myself to merge with my wolf. And once I did, the rest followed.”
I sat with that, the weight of his words pressing into me like a puzzle piece sliding into place.
“Maybe that’s it,” he said after a moment. “Maybe you’re still fighting it. Still afraid of what this new version of you means. You are still afraid of letting go and embracing this power because it came as a surprise for you. No one prepared you for it. You didn't expect it and because of that, you didn’t get a chance to accept this new version of you... But you have to, Sadie. If you want to gain control over it, you first have to accept that it's a part of you.”
His words rang painfully true.
“I don’t want to be afraid of it anymore. I don’t want to keep failing,” I murmured.
“Then stop fighting it. Stop fighting something that’s part of you,” he said softly. “You’re still you, Sadie. Just… more.”
I inhaled deeply. “Okay. I’ll give it another try.”
He stood and reached out a hand to help me up. I took it, grounding myself in his touch. His skin was warm, calloused from training, but gentle.
I closed my eyes, breathed in slowly, and let go.
No fear. No resistance.
I opened myself to the powerful spark inside me and accepted her. Wings unfurled from my back—pure white and radiant. My skin shimmered, and I felt the change ripple through me. The gown, the light, the power—it all came in a rush that felt like air filling my lungs after being underwater too long.
When I opened my eyes again, Alec was staring at me with something close to awe. “You did it.”
I laughed, a giddy sound I hadn’t heard from myself in a long time. “I did it!”
I threw my arms around him before I even realized what I was doing, shouting thank you into his shoulder. He caught me, held me—his arms strong and warm around my waist. For a moment, I let myself just feel it. The joy. The release. Him.
But then it hit me—I was hugging Alec.
I froze.
I pulled back quickly, taking a step away from him and smoothing down my dress. I adjusted the wings that still fluttered faintly behind me, suddenly too aware of every breath and heartbeat.
What the hell just happened? How could I forget, in the moment, who I was hugging? I’d been so excited about finally getting it that I didn’t even think. It doesn’t matter that I loved it. It doesn’t matter that for that split second, it felt right being in his arms. What matters is that it shouldn’t have happened.
We stared at each other in the silence that followed, the weight of the moment still heavy between us.
His eyes… goddess, his eyes burned with something I couldn’t name. Something I was terrified of acknowledging. Heat, desire…and affection? That last one couldn’t be right. The last emotion is what I was afraid of acknowledging.
I cleared my throat. “So, um… why were you out here in the first place?”
He smirked, the tension easing just a little. “Can’t I just come see you?”
I laughed nervously. “You could, but I doubt that’s the only reason.”
This felt so unreal. Alec teasing me was new for me. Honestly, I don’t think we’ve ever had this kind of moment where we were just free. For a moment, I even forget that I am not supposed to be indulging this closeness.
He smiled, then grew serious. “I was wondering if… maybe I could take you and Aspen on a little outing tomorrow. Just… spend time with her. And you.”
My heart twisted in my chest. Spend time with him? Like a family? My first instinct was to say no—to protect myself, to keep the lines clear—but the look on his face stopped me. Could I do it? Could I spend the whole day with him and be detached?
I couldn't find an answer, so I stopped trying. He just wanted time with Aspen, I reasoned with myself. He wants me there to monitor his time with her, I gaslight myself into believing that bullshit.
I hesitated, then nodded slowly, before I could chicken out. “Yeah… okay.”
His smile was soft. Grateful. “Thank you.”
As he walked away, I stood there in the wind, my wings folding behind me like a shield. My heart was still racing—not from power, but from the ache growing stronger with every minute I spent near him.
And despite all my best intentions, I knew— My defenses were failing. I knew the walls around my heart were starting to crumble.