Alpha Alec's Redemption - Chapter 147: Chapter 147

The room was too quiet. Aspen had fallen asleep the moment her head touched the pillow, her monkey and elephant clutched tightly in her little arms. I watched her for a long moment, brushing a few stray strands of hair from her forehead. Her tiny mouth hung open just a little, breath even and soft. The kind of peace that only children seemed capable of after a long, magical day.
Today had been… perfect. And that terrified me more than anything else.
I stood and padded softly to the other side of our room. The moonlight filtered in through the tall windows, casting a soft glow over the walls. I looked outside and took a breath, one that was meant to ground me. My body ached with a comfortable tiredness, the kind that came from laughter and walking too long and smiling too wide.
But my heart? That was anything but comfortable.
I leaned against the wall and let the memories play.
Alec lifting Aspen onto his shoulders, her squeal of delight ringing in the air. Her tiny hands gripping his hair, leaning down to whisper nonsense into his ear. Him pretending to be a lion and chasing her around the food court. Me laughing—actually laughing—when he made roaring noises and nearly scared the teenager behind the ice-cream stand.
We had explained the animals to her, side by side. Her innocent questions about tusks and manes and why lions looked so lazy in the sun. Alec had been patient and animated, his arm brushing mine more than once. And every time, that stupid spark zipped through me.
Then there was the diner. Aspen with her chocolate-streaked smile and those big, gleaming eyes. The way she had looked between me and Alec, giggling when I fed her a bite of cake… and then innocently turning her eyes on me and asking, “Can you feed Alec too?”
The way Alec’s eyebrows had shot up, amused and a little hopeful.
I had played it off. I had fed him a small bite, and we both laughed it off like it was nothing. But it wasn’t nothing.
Because I had felt it. The way his lips brushed my fingers. The heat that bloomed low in my belly. The silent question in his eyes and the confusion in mine.
I pressed a hand to my chest now, fingers splayed wide as if I could hold it all together.
What was happening to me?
I didn’t know how long I stood there, lost in the whirlwind of thoughts, when I felt her presence.
Nyx.
I closed my eyes, pressing the heel of my palm against my forehead. “Why is this happening? I don’t understand Nyx. I just don’t.”
Nyx didn’t answer immediately.
“Because this is what you wanted. Before the pain. Before the betrayal. And now that it’s within reach again, your heart doesn’t know whether to run or leap.”
My throat tightened. “I don’t know if I can forgive him, Nyx. So much has happened. I simply can’t forget what he did. What he put me through.”
“You don’t have to. Not all at once. But you do have to stop running from what you feel.”
I thought about Alec’s eyes today, how they’d softened every time he looked at Aspen. How they found mine almost every time. How proud he’d been, carrying Aspen around. How warm.
How real.
I was so afraid of what was happening.
I was afraid of letting him in.
But what if a part of me had never really let go?
“I feel like forgiving him would be a betrayal to the old me. The girl he crashed, despite her loving him with everything she had. I feel like forgiving him would be a betrayal to all the pain and heartbreak I went through.”
“But isn’t it a betrayal in itself if you choose to keep holding on?” She asked gently, her warmth filling me. “Won’t it be a betrayal to the future you? Future us? Won’t you be robbing future us of a full life by refusing to heal and letting go?”
I stood quietly as the war raged inside me. Logic and feelings wreaked havoc inside me in a way that left me feeling restless.
I could feel panic rising inside me, so my bare feet padded me across the cool floor and towards the door. I needed movement, needed to breathe. I closed the door softly before rushing through the hallway, down the stairs and out the kitchen door.
I took a deep breath of the cold air as I looked out at the moonlit yard. The stars were bright, the night calm.
But inside, I was a storm of contradictions.
My body yearned for Alec. The bond between us was undeniable, humming louder every day. But it wasn’t just lust anymore. Not just physical craving. It was that quiet ache of wanting… everything.
A family. A future. Something whole and good and maybe even a little bit magical.
Spotting a bench, I walked towards it and sat down, bringing my knees up to my chest. The cold air stung my skin, but it did nothing to cool me. My thoughts raced, making it hard to keep up with them, so I eventually just gave up and just let them wander around in my head.
I don’t know how long I sat there when my nose picked up his scent. I felt him before I even heard his footsteps.
“What are you doing here, Alec?” I asked without turning to look at him.
I felt a shuffle before feeling him sit beside me. Only then did I turn, only to find him already staring at me.
“I saw you and I thought I should come and check up on you.”
I don’t say anything. Just turned back and continued staring at nothing.
I pretended that his presence wasn’t affecting me. Pretended that I was okay and that every fiber in my being wasn’t vibrating. I was fighting the pull despite Nyx telling me not to. I was used to fighting it since we learned that we were mates; it was hard not to.
When I couldn’t take it anymore—the pull, the desire, the silence—I turned to him. “I don’t get it, Alec. What do you want? Why are you here? Why are you trying? Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”
Before he could answer, I continued. “You already have Aspen’s devotion and love, so what is all this?”
I didn’t know if he got what I was referring to, but honestly, with the emotional turmoil inside me, I wasn’t in the mood to explain anything if he didn’t get it.
“I am grateful that I have her love and devotion, but Sadie,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion too. "Aspen is not the only one whose love I want. I want yours too.”
I stay quiet, not sure what to say. I wasn’t expecting him to be this open. Wasn’t expecting those words to come out of his mouth.
Emotions choke the living daylights out of me and for a moment I feel like crying.
My voice broke as I whispered, “Why now? You didn’t care when it mattered, Alec. So why now when I want nothing to do with you?”
I couldn’t fight the tears, so I furiously wiped them away, angry at myself for crying. It didn’t matter though, because I wiped them and more just fell.
My breath caught when I felt his gentle touch as he wiped away my tears. “I know how confusing this must be for you, but I can’t give you the answer you want right now. I can’t answer why now and not back then. I just can’t because I don’t know the answer to that.”
That just made me angry because it wasn’t the answer I was looking for. Don’t ask me what I expected to hear, but it wasn’t that. Feeling frustrated and hurt, I pushed his hand away and stood up.
“You know what hurts more, Alec?” I asked, my voice sounding thick to my own ears. “It’s that you didn’t see me then. You didn’t try to get to know me; you didn’t care. You just dismissed me without trying to see the real me… How then am I expected to believe that you want me now, when I wasn’t your type back then? When you wouldn’t even glance at me twice. How am I supposed to believe you feel something for me now when you didn’t, even though I was constantly in your face?
I’m still the same Sadie. Battered and chewed up a little, but still the same. So, if you couldn’t like me then, how can I believe you like me now when nothing much about me has changed?”
He was quiet, just stared at me with those green eyes, which were filled with so many emotions. Emotions I refused to name because I still couldn’t believe he would feel anything for me except indifference and contempt.
“I can’t explain it,” he began as if he struggled to find the words. “But it’s there, Sadie. I see you now, and I am sorry I was a stupid asshole who didn’t see your worth back then. I was a blind idiot who didn’t notice the treasure in front of him, but I do now. I see you, Sadie, all of you and you have me. You have a hold over my heart.”
I huffed, still unable to believe it. “It’s the bond. What you feel is because of the bond. You don’t really want me, Alec. You never have.”
He stood up and took a step towards me. Before I could even react, he pulled me into his arms. I tried to fight him, but it was futile.
He held me close, tightening his grip, almost as if he was afraid I would disappear. “I won’t push you to have me or forgive me, but give me time, Sadie, and I’ll prove to you that what I feel for you is more than what’s being influenced by the bond- That what I feel for you is real. The realest thing I’ve ever felt my entire life. It’s only after I’ve proven myself will you believe me."
With that, he lands a soft kiss on my forehead before letting me go, turning around and leaving.
I am left standing there confused and with so many emotions fighting for dominance inside me. After standing there for a few minutes, I released a tired breath and headed inside the house. Today’s fatigue was starting to catch up with me.
I got to our room but stopped dead. Someone had left something at our bedroom door. I picked it up and unwrapped the box.
It was a single, white butterfly hair clip. The one Aspen had been admiring earlier in the gift shop but never asked for. Tucked beneath it was a note, scribbled in Alec’s unmistakable handwriting:
“Thought she might want this. I’ll see you both tomorrow. Sleep well.”
I clutched the clip to my chest, the ache inside me unfurling into something warmer, something harder to ignore.
I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, and that terrified me.