Alpha Alec's Redemption - Chapter 148: Chapter 148

The wind bit into my skin as I tore through the forest, the soles of my feet pounding against the earth. I was running, not just because it’s a routine but to escape the ache in my chest. Maybe if I could run far enough, fast enough, the weight pressing against my chest would finally loosen. But it didn’t, and neither did it quell the heat that burned beneath my skin.
It’s been a week since Sadie looked at me with those wide, doubtful eyes and asked if this—if we—meant anything beyond the bond.
She didn’t believe me.
And the worst part? I understood why.
Her words haunted me. Scraped at my heart until I was left raw. It felt like sharp knives were being driven into my chest over and over again, leaving me destroyed.
I clenched my jaw, pushing myself harder through the trees. Sweat slid down my temples, but it wasn’t the exertion that left me raw. It was her doubt—understandable, justified—and still, it shredded me.
She had every right to question me. I destroyed her once. Turned away when she needed me most. Let her walk away believing she was never enough. I had given her nothing but silence and rejection.
And now?
Now I was begging for a chance, because, goddess help me, I wanted her. Craved her in a way I never had before. Not just because of the bond—though that pulled like a tide inside me—but because she was it. All of it. The fire, the storm, the light I never knew I needed. Watching her with Aspen had gutted me in the most beautiful way. It made me ache for something I’d never allowed myself to hope for.
A family. With her. With Aspen.
I ducked under a low branch, my breath ragged now, not from exertion, but from the storm brewing inside me. The full moon was two nights away, and I could already feel Knox clawing at the edges of my control. His need for Sadie was always sharp, but lately it has been unbearable.
The scent of her skin still lingered in my memory, taunting me. Her laughter from the zoo, the way she had looked at Aspen like she was her whole world—and the way Aspen had clung to me without hesitation, like I belonged to them too.
I skidded to a stop at the edge of the training grounds, bent over with my hands braced on my knees. The cold mist rising off the water kissed my face, a stark contrast to the fire and chaos raging inside.
“We are spiraling.” Knox murmured, his voice rough and ever-present in the back of my mind.
“I know,” I muttered aloud.
“I need her, Alec. We need our mate.” Knox was pacing inside me. Anxious, edgy, unstable and restless.
I gritted my teeth. “She doesn’t believe me, Knox. How the hell am I supposed to prove something I should have never made her question in the first place?”
Knox was silent. He couldn't answer me because he knew we screwed up. We messed things up so badly, I wondered if it was possible to fix what I carelessly broke.
I straightened, exhaling slowly, I entered the training arena, knowing Brian would be working with the warriors by now. I needed something—anything—to center me.
The clang of fists hitting pads and the dull thud of bodies slamming against mats echoed through the open-air training ring. I stepped in, and a few warriors nodded, giving me respectful space.
Brian was at the center, barking orders at the warriors, his stance precise and sharp as he demonstrated a hold. He glanced up when he saw me and raised a brow. “Decided to finally get your hands dirty, Alpha?”
He looked stronger. More grounded. The disheveled man from the dungeon was long gone.
I smirked, though it didn’t reach my eyes. “Thought I’d remind them what real skill looks like.”
Brian met my gaze. He inclined his head, then smirked. “Let’s see if you’ve still got it.”
A few of the younger warriors chuckled, but Brian just shook his head.
We squared off. He was fast—strong—but I wasn’t holding back. Not today.
The moment our sparring began, everything else faded. It started simple—jabs, counterstrikes, testing each other. He was calculated. But I could match him. For every blow he landed, I returned one harder. The warriors gathered, forming a circle around us. I could hear Micah and Jason arrive, their voices blending with the hum of anticipation.
My fists flew, my body moving on instinct, but something was off. The bond was burning hotter than it should. My limbs trembled with restrained power. And Knox was too close to the surface.
Brian landed a hit to my ribs, and then something shifted. The air changed. Or maybe it was me.
A snarl tore from my throat. My vision blurred, and Knox snapped.
“Alpha?” Brian asked, stepping back.
I didn’t hear him.
I didn’t see him.
I saw the past. Saw Sadie in the dungeon three years ago, tears streaking her face while I stood there, torturing her. I saw her broken body, her empty eyes burning with hatred. I saw her in my office corridors as I plunged my hand inside her chest, ready to rip her heart out. I saw the pain I caused. The heartbreak in her eyes every time I ignored her and treated her as if she was nothing but a nuisance.
My vision tinted red, and then I struck Brian hard enough to send him flying across the arena. He hit the ground.
I moved. Faster than I meant to. The next thing I knew, I had Brian pinned, claws out, teeth bared. A growl thundered from my throat, and Brian’s eyes widened—just before I lunged.
“Alec!”
Micah’s voice.
Then Jason.
Their hands gripped my arms, straining as they pulled me back. My breath came in pants. My hands shook. I blinked down and realized I’d torn Brian’s shirt, his shoulder bleeding. He wasn’t fighting back—just staring at me with a strange mix of caution and understanding.
I blinked. My breathing was ragged. My vision sharp and red-edged.
“What the hell?” Micah grabbed my arm, yanking me back. “You almost took his head off!”
I staggered back as if waking from a dream.
Brian sat up slowly, dazed.
“Shit,” I muttered, running a hand through my hair. “I didn’t mean—Knox, he—he got too close.”
Jason grabbed my shoulder. They herded me back to my office. I didn’t speak. I couldn’t. I was too shaken by what almost happened.
When the door shut behind us, Micah rounded on me.
“You want to tell us what the hell that was?”
I paced the room, anxiety clawing at me from the inside. “I lost control.”
“Obviously,” Jason said, crossing his arms. “But why?”
I pinned him with a pissed-off gaze. “Because I’m drowning and Knox is too close to the surface.”
“The full moon,” Micah said knowingly.
“It’s not just that.” I finally stopped pacing and looked at them. “It’s Sadie.”
Jason raised an eyebrow. “You two have another fight?”
“No. Not exactly.” I rubbed my face with both hands. “She doesn’t believe me. She thinks everything I’m feeling now is just the bond. That I want her now only because fate decided she should be mine.”
“And that bothers you because...?”
“Because it’s not true,” I snapped. “I want her. Not because of a bond. Not because of Aspen. Because it’s her. I want her. And I don’t know how to make her believe that when all I’ve done for years is prove the opposite.”
I was trained not to let my emotions get in my way. To block them. Suppress them because they make you weak. Now, though, they are on the surface. They have a death grip on me. One I can’t seem to shake.
“I get it.” I continued, “I hurt her so badly. I made her believe she was unwanted. She doesn’t owe me anything—not trust, not a second chance. And yet…”
Micah sat on the edge of my desk. “And yet you still want one.”
“I do,” I whispered. “More than anything. But I’m fucking terrified it’s too late. That nothing I do will ever be enough.”
Silence settled between us. Heavy and thick.
Micah leaned back against the wall. “So, prove her wrong.”
“I don’t know how,” I muttered.
Jason spoke up, arms crossed. “Then let’s figure it out. What does she need from you? What would show her that this isn’t some temporary bond reaction?”
“She needs consistency,” Micah added. “Loyalty. Time.”
Jason nodded. “And probably something not wolf-related. Something personal. Something she’d never expect from you.”
My mind spun. “You think that’s enough?”
Jason shrugged his shoulders. “You’ll never know unless you try. You can’t sit around and do nothing if you want to have a shot at a relationship with her.”
It’s funny honestly, for the first time in my life, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to handle things. For the first time in my life, I had self-doubt. For the first time in my life, I was vulnerable enough to admit I couldn’t do it alone and that I needed help.
Micah stepped forward, his hand on my shoulder. “You’re never going to erase what happened, Alec. But you can write something new. You just have to want it badly enough to do the work.”
Jason nodded. “Exactly. Show her you want her. Not because of the bond. Not because it’s expected—but because you choose her. Every day.”
I blinked. Damn, the bastard actually made sense.
I exhaled, the storm in my chest calming just slightly.
“Alright,” I said. “How do I do that?”
Jason grinned. “We’ll figure it out.”
Micah clapped me on the back. “We’ve got a whole list of ideas. Trust us.”
For the first time in days, a small breath of hope curled in my chest.
Maybe I couldn’t undo the past.
But maybe—just maybe—I could help her see the future, with me in it.