Alpha Alec's Redemption - Chapter 153: Chapter 153

I am drowning.
Alec’s body is solid against mine, his warmth seeping through my skin, his breath heavy and ragged in my ear. His hard length pressed against my entrance, the tip sliding just inside, and it is torture.
A delicious, unbearable torture.
“Mate. Take him now, please.” Nyx’s voice is a throaty growl, her need as feral as mine. “He’s right there. Just a little more…”
A strangled whimper escapes me, my hips arching to pull him deeper, to close the last fraction of space that keeps me from feeling all of him. My nails dig into his shoulders, and my head falls back against the rough bark of the tree.
“Alec,” I breathe, the name slipping out in a desperate, needy moan.
His jaw clenches, muscles flexing beneath my palms. His eyes blaze, a molten gold, and the moonlight catches the sweat gleaming on his chest. His fingers grip my thighs, holding me up, yet he doesn't fully slide inside us.
He's all of a sudden different from how he was minutes ago. As if the lust no longer clouds his mind. I feel him trembling, fighting himself. Fighting us.
Then, without warning, he pulls back.
Cold air replaces his heat, and the loss of him feels like a slap, a wound, a rejection that stings like salt poured into an open cut.
Alec sets me down gently, his hands lingering on my hips for a heartbeat before he all but rips himself away, pacing a few steps, his hands buried in his hair.
I just stand there, panting, my chest heaving as I try to make sense of what just happened. My body aches, throbbing for him. The slickness between my legs is undeniable, a wetness that now serves as a humiliating reminder of how badly I wanted him—how desperately I had thrown myself at him.
I wrap my arms around myself, nails biting into my own skin.
He didn’t want me.
I was giving myself whiplash. One moment I am against us mating with them and the next I want Alec so bad it hurts.
Nyx whimpered, her hurt mixing with my own. “Why? Why did he stop?”
Alec’s pacing slows. He is panting, his chest rising and falling in rapid, shallow breaths. His fists clenched, knuckles white, and his eyes were squeezed shut as if he were trying to block out the sight of me.
A knot twists in my throat, and it takes every ounce of strength I have to turn away from him. To take that first, agonizing step away.
It feels like all the years before three years ago, when he always rejected. When he didn’t want me. When I wasn’t attractive to him.
I force my legs to move, even though they shake beneath me. I don't trust myself to speak, to say anything without my voice breaking. Without sobbing.
“Sadie.”
Alec’s voice is a rough, gravelly rasp. His hand closes around my wrist, holding me in place.
“Let me go,” I whisper, my voice thick and raw. “You don’t want me, so let me go.”
“What are you talking about?” Alec’s eyes are wild, his brows drawn tight. “Of course I want you.”
I yank my arm from his grasp, but he doesn't release me. His hand only tightens, holding me firmly in place.
“If you did, you wouldn’t have pulled away,” I snap, finally meeting his gaze. “I felt you, Alec. You wanted me. You were right there, and then… then you pulled away.”
Alec swallows, the muscles in his jaw working.
What is wrong with me? I didn't want him to mate me in the first place, then I did want him and now I am angry that he doesn't want me. It's unreasonable, but I wanted him and he didn't.
“Why?” I demand, tears burning behind my eyes. “Are you still in love with her? Is that it? Is that why you can’t touch me?”
It’s the only plausible reason. With Lola he couldn’t wait. I remember hearing the rumors the next day about how Alec had gone completely savage and taken Lola. He didn’t mark her because she wanted to wait for the marking ceremony, but apparently the whole forest was filled with the sounds of their mating.
So why were things different with me when I am his real mate and she wasn’t? Unless he is still in love with her.
Alec flinches, and the pain in his eyes strikes me like a physical blow. His grip loosens, and he takes a deep breath, as if trying to steady himself. Then, he steps closer, his forehead pressing against mine.
“You’ve got it all wrong,” he murmurs, his voice breaking.
I blink, the words not quite registering.
“I want you,” Alec says, his eyes burning into mine. “God, Sadie. I want you so badly it’s killing me.” His thumb brushed along my jaw, a soft, reverent touch. “But not like this.”
My chest tightens. “Why not?”
“Because if I take you now, you’ll think it’s just the moon heat,” he says, his voice thick. “You’ll think that’s the only reason I want you.”
I shake my head, but Alec’s thumb presses against my lips, silencing me.
“If we do this now,” he continues, his voice rough, “it’ll feel good—so good—but when the heat passes, you’ll think it was just that. Just heat. Just instinct.” He swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “And you’ll regret it. And I can’t. I won’t let you regret something that should be special.”
My breath hitches. The weight of his words pressing down on me, and it feels like my heart is being squeezed.
I am so confused. Do I dare to believe his words? To believe that that’s the only reason he isn’t buried deep inside me right now and not because he is still in love with Lola?
I don’t have time to think much of it because a sharp, stabbing pain explodes in my belly, and I gasp, doubling over. My arms wrap around my stomach, and my knees buckle.
“Sadie!” Alec is there in an instant, catching me before I hit the ground. “What’s wrong? What is it?”
I can barely breathe. The pain is like fire, scorching through my veins, burning me from the inside out.
“Nyx,” I whimper internally. “What’s happening?”
“This is what I warned you about,” she says, her voice pained. “The moon heat. Our mate is supposed to mate us. Without that, the pain will only get worse.”
Another wave of agony tears through me, and I cry out, clutching Alec’s arms as he lifts me.
“Hold on,” he murmurs, voice tight with worry. “I’ve got you.”
Trees blur as Alec ran, his body a solid, steady anchor against the pain. By the time he stops, I am barely conscious, my skin burning, sweat pouring down my face.
A cabin looms ahead. Alec kicks the door open and carries me inside. He lays me on a couch, his lips pressing against my forehead.
“Stay here,” he says, and disappears.
I am too far gone to respond. Every inch of me is aflame. My skin feels too tight, too hot, and I can barely keep my eyes open.
I want him. Alec, my mate. All I want is him. All I crave is him.
Alec returns and scoops me up again, carrying me into the bathroom. The tub is half-filled with cold water, and he steps inside, pulling me into his lap. The water sloshes around us as he positions me between his legs, my back against his chest.
“Shh,” he whispers, his arms wrapping around me. “I’ve got you.”
The cool water stings, but it also soothes. I sag against Alec, my head falling back against his shoulder.
“You’re okay,” Alec murmurs, his lips grazing my temple. “Just breathe, Sadie.”
I whimper, my fists clutching his arms as another wave of pain rolls through me.
Alec begins to hum, his voice low and steady. “Do you remember that time you stole Piper’s ice cream and blamed it on Micah?”
Despite the pain, a weak laugh escapes me. “You saw that?”
“I see everything,” Alec answers, his chin resting on top of my head. “And what about the time you tried teaching a pup how to bake and nearly burned the kitchen down?”
I smile, and here I thought I had been invisible to him.
Alec’s fingers trace lazy circles over my hip, his touch grounding me, soothing me.
Gradually, the pain begins to ease, the heat lessening as the cold water seeps into my skin. Alec then lifts me from the tub and wraps me in a towel, drying me off before carrying me to the bed.
He slips in behind me, pulling me close, his heartbeat a steady rhythm against my back.
“Sleep,” he whispers, his breath warm against my neck. “I’m here.”
And as his arms wrap around me, holding me tight, I finally let go, sinking into the dark, the sound of his heart the last thing I hear.