Alpha Alec's Redemption - Chapter 154: Chapter 154

A soft, warm pressure envelops me, cocooning me in a familiar scent that seeps through my skin and calms the raging fire burning beneath. Alec.
His chest is pressed to my back, his arm wrapped around my waist, holding me close. The slow, soothing stroke of his thumb against my skin sends a shiver down my spine. Even now, half asleep, my body aches for him, the need twisting and coiling in my gut like a living thing.
My eyes flutter open, and the first thing I see is his hand resting against my stomach, his tanned skin contrasting with mine. His fingers are long, strong, and calloused—a warrior’s hands, but so tender right now.
“Morning, beautiful,” he whispers, his lips brushing against my temple. His morning voice is low, rough, and it sends another pulse of heat through me.
I can’t speak. My throat is tight, my heart tangled in a mess of longing and confusion. His gentleness is a balm and a torment all at once. Alec shifts, his chest rising and falling against my back, and I can feel the tension in his muscles.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice soft, as though he already knows the answer.
I nod, swallowing hard. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Alec’s hand moves, brushing a loose strand of hair away from my face. His eyes search mine, too intense, too warm. “You don’t have to lie to me, Sadie,” he murmurs, his thumb grazing the corner of my mouth.
I want to lean into his touch, let him take away the ache and the fire burning beneath my skin, but the hurt from last night lingers like a bruise. I force myself to look away, blinking back the sting of tears.
Alec sighs, the sound heavy with things left unsaid. “I’ll get you some breakfast.”
I lay back in bed, fighting the aching need inside me. I use the noise in the kitchen as a distraction to keep my mind from everything that has been happening since yesterday.
I’m not sure how long I lay there focusing on my breathing and the noise in the kitchen when the noise stops and I hear Alec’s soft footsteps closing in.
He enters the room carrying a tray balanced on one hand, his eyes fixed on me as though he’s afraid I might shatter. Toast, eggs, tea. Simple. But it feels like so much more.
He sits beside me, his thigh brushing against mine, and holds the cup to my lips when my hands tremble too much to hold it myself. The tea is warm, soothing as it slides down my throat, but it’s the way Alec watches me that has me fighting not to cry.
His thumb brushes over my lower lip, and my heart stutters as his eyes darken slightly. I part my lips, my tongue darting out to lick the spot he touched. Alec’s jaw tightens, his nostrils flaring.
“You’re trembling,” he murmurs, his hand cupping my cheek, his thumb stroking a slow, gentle line beneath my eye.
I close my eyes against the intensity of his gaze, forcing myself to breathe through the ache.
I am not able to finish everything, but at least I get something in my stomach
“Thank you.” I murmur
“You don’t have to thank me,” he whispers, his breath ghosting over my skin.
I swallow; my throat thick.
“I feel like I’m falling apart.” I admit, voice breaking.
Alec’s jaw clenches, his expression softening. He doesn’t say anything, just pulls me into his arms, where I cling to him like my life depends on it.
“I’ll be back.” he detangles from me after a while and then picks up the dishes and leaves.
The moment he’s out of the room, I sag against the pillow. Now I understand clearly what Nyx meant. This is torture. Alec being close eases things a bit, but it still isn’t enough to completely quench the fire inside me.
“Nyx,” I call her.
“I’m here.” she sounds as exhausted as I feel.
“How are you holding up? How are you feeling?”
She sighs but then gives me a wolfish smile. “Like, shit, but Knox has been lending me his strength.”
“Just like Alec is,” I whisper, feeling touched. “They showing up for us like they said they would.”
“Yeah,” Nyx replies softly. “But seriously, are you sure painkillers can’t help with this?”
“I’m sure. No amount of painkiller can help with this pain.”
Alec comes back just as Nyx disappears and retreats to the back of my mind.
“I was just thinking,” he begins. “Do you think we can go outside and get some fresh air? I think it’ll be good for you.”
I think about it and then agree. It wouldn’t hurt to be outside when he’s with me.
Alec drapes one of his hoodies over my shoulders before leading me out. The cool breeze is a balm against my fevered skin, but the moon’s pull still pulses through me, amplifying every nerve ending.
He keeps a hand on the small of my back, his touch grounding. Every step feels heavy, each breath more difficult to take.
I stumble, my knees threatening to buckle, but Alec catches me, his strong arms wrapping around me and holding me up.
“Easy,” he whispers, his lips against my hair. I close my eyes and press my face to his chest, inhaling his scent—woods, earth, and something uniquely Alec.
His chin rests atop my head as he rocks me gently, his fingers stroking slow, comforting lines down my spine.
“You’re okay,” he says, his voice a low rumble against my ear.
I rest my head against his shoulder with my eyes closed. We don’t stay outside for long because within minutes I’m drained and all I want to do is sleep.
“Can we go back inside?” I whisper. “I’m exhausted.”
“Absolutely,” he answers, picking me up bridal style.
I’m surprised, but at the same time, I’m too tired to dive into the whole thing.
Inside, Alec wraps a soft blanket around me and pulls me onto his lap on the couch. His hand rests on my back, his thumb rubbing soothing circles as he rocks us both.
“I feel like this is my fault. Like you are going through this because of me,” he mutters, his eyes closing briefly. “If I had just…”
“If you had just what?” I ask, my brow furrowing.
He doesn’t answer, but the haunted look in his eyes is enough.
The ache inside me flares up again, this time for an entirely different reason. “Alec…”
“Don’t,” he says, his voice suddenly harsh. He pulls back, creating distance between us. “If you say my name like that, I’m going to forget myself.”
I swallow, my throat tight. “Forget yourself?”
“Yeah,” he rasps, his gaze dropping to my lips. “Forget that you’re not ready. Forget that you still don’t trust me. Forget that if I give in, you might hate me when the heat passes.”
His words punch through me, sharp and unyielding, and my chest tightens. The pain of his rejection from last night stings, but hearing how much it cost him to hold back — makes my heart ache even more.
I try to speak, to say something, anything, but no words leave my mouth.
Alec’s hand moves to cup the back of my neck, his thumb tracing along my jaw. “You don’t know how hard it was to stop last night,” he murmurs, his voice low and gravelly. “You were in my arms, writhing against me, begging me to take you. And all I wanted — all I wanted was to give you everything.”
His forehead presses against mine, his breathing heavy. “You’re my mate, Sadie. I want you so bad it’s killing me. Even now, your scent is driving me nuts. But I can’t—I can’t let it happen when you’re not ready.”
The emotion in his voice cracks something open inside me. I lift my hand, cradling his cheek. I don’t understand my action. Maybe it’s the moon’s heat influence, but all I know is I can’t let him continue thinking that this is his fault.
“It’s not your fault, Alec,” I finally say. “You shouldn’t be blaming yourself. This is a natural process.”
He nods his head, but I can tell that he still blames himself for something that is completely out of his control.
For a long moment, we just stay like that — his forehead against mine, his breath mingling with mine, our heartbeats thrumming in sync.
We pull apart just as the pain starts low, a throbbing ache that spreads through my abdomen and radiates outward, building until it feels like fire is burning beneath my skin.
“Alec…” I gasp, clutching my stomach.
Alec wraps his hand around me “Hey, hey,” he murmurs, voice tight with concern. “I’ve got you.”
I can barely breathe as he carries me to the bedroom, setting me down gently on the bed. He pulls off the hoodie I had on before taking off his shirt. He then slips on behind me, pulling me back against his chest.
“Just breathe,” he whispers, his lips against my ear. “I’m right here.”
I close my eyes, letting his voice wash over me.
“I called the pack house to check on Aspen. I had to sing for her. She was holding a competition and she wanted me to be one of the competitors,” Alec says, his voice a warm, calming murmur.
I know he's trying to distract me and it works. I laugh at that despite feeling like my insides were on fire.
“You sing?” I ask, surprised.
Alec chuckles, the sound a deep vibration against my back. “Not well. But Aspen didn’t seem to mind.”
I smile, the sound a balm against the ache inside me. “I’d like to hear that.”
Alec’s hands still for a moment, then resume their slow, comforting strokes. “Maybe one day,” he says, his lips brushing the side of my head.
Silence falls between us, the only sounds our breathing.
“She asked about you,” Alec says after a beat.
My heart twists painfully. “What did you say?”
“I told her that you are okay.” Alec’s voice is a low, soothing hum against my ear. “I know this is hard, Sadie, but you are going to be okay because you are the strongest woman I know.”
Tears sting my eyes as I turn my face into his neck, my lips brushing against his skin. Alec tenses but doesn’t pull away.
“Alec…” I breathe, my voice breaking.
Alec’s fingers thread through my hair, his lips pressing another lingering kiss to my temple. “I know, Sadie. I know.”
Soon the pain begins to ease and with it, my eyes drop and I fall into a dreamless sleep.