Alpha King Xavier - Chapter 49: Chapter 49

Xavier
I stood still, my head was reeling.
“What happened between you and Autumn?”
“Why did you ask?” I asked, ignoring his question. I didn't turn to look at him. I stared out through the window instead, at nothing in particular.
A lot was going through my head. No matter how hard I tried to stop it, I couldn't. I kept thinking of what Autumn had said earlier about Gwen.
“I mean, she changed. She's suddenly bolder and well, maybe a bit daring.”
I admit she is, actually.
“She_” I swallowed harder as I thought about how I felt when I thought she was dead. “She died for real.”
I could literally sense Rick's shock. “She did? You didn't get the antidote to her in time?”
I nodded once and sucked in breath. “She died, Rick, and I was fucking so scared! I thought I was never going to find Gwen. I thought she was gone!”
Silence descended for a few minutes and it seemed like Rick was thinking of what to say next.
“How then is she here, looking so changed.”
“Because she is,” I muttered. “The moon goddess gave her back to me,” I sucked in breath. “Because I pleaded,” I revealed in a whisper.
I hate to admit it but I acted like a coward.
“And she's suddenly like this when she comes back to me. It was as if the moon goddess spirit followed her back to torment me,” I cracked, laughing like it was no big deal but I knew it was.
Rick didn't say anything. He seemed to be thinking about it.
“What you said about Cindy,” I finally turned to look at him. “Could it really be true? Is there a way a mate could unlock a wolf?”
Rick nodded once. “I told you it's true. If you don't believe, I can invite Cindy over,” he stopped suddenly, and his eyes widened as realization finally dawned on him. “Are you saying it's the same with Autumn?”
I nodded. “She looks strange after I marked her. She heals so fast now. It looks like she's not wolfless after all.”
Rick's eyes widened with shock. “Really? Should I investigate more into it ?”
I shook my head quickly and turned towards the window again. “There's no need to. She will leave when Gwen returns.”
There was a brief pause from Rick.
“And you really plan on letting her go?”
“Yes. I gave her my word. I will release her pack from slavery and let them go.”
That is what I truly plan on doing. Though, I can't help the guilt eating me deep. I did what I wasn't supposed to do with Autumn. I know I did, and I don't know how I can appeal.
“And you think it will end with that?”
“It has to. I will make sure it does because I won't ever want to see Autumn again.”
Rick huffed. “You won't be able to, Xavier.”
I stopped suddenly. It was as if I didn't hear Rick correctly. “What did you say?”
Rick took a step closer. “I know you, Xavier. You care about her. There's no way you will stop yourself from seeing her.”
I turned to fully look at him. On a normal ground, I should be angry but I've suddenly lost my will to be angry. Anthony's words kept echoing in my head.
My anger will be the death of me.
“No, I don't care about her. You are wrong, Rick, and I've done crazy shit I know I shouldn't have done to her. I know she hates me more than I can possibly think now. And I'm not ready to make her even forgive me.”
Rick is my most trusted man so I tell him my feelings. And sincerely, that's how I feel.
I don't care about Autumn. I'm just worried. And I'm regretful because I didn't believe her at first.
“You can lie to yourself, Xavier. Well, you won't be able to lie forever. Have you forgotten how you were when Tito harmed her? You were so bothered she was going to die. No! You were so angry!”
I nodded several times. “Because if she died, I wouldn't be able to find Gwen.”
Now I blame myself for it.
Rick slowly shook his head. He seemed to think he knew so much. He's not in my head.
“That's not it. I've been with you way before you dreamt of becoming the King,” he muttered and moved closer to me. “Do you remember those nights?”
I felt a surge of anger instantly. I looked away quickly. “Don't try to remind me!” I warned.
“Xavier_”
“Don't fucking try to remind me!” I yelled before I could stop myself but I blamed myself instantly.
Rick didn't move. He didn't even look offended.
“If no one knows you, that doesn't include me. We've been together for such a long time, and I've sworn my allegiance to you before you even became the king. You were just_” he paused slightly. “6 then. So, I can confidently say I know you more,” he muttered and stepped back.
I wanted to call him back but the anger blinded me.
I hated it! I hated it so much! I never wanted to be vulnerable! Never wanted to be vulnerable!
On cue, I landed a blow on the wall and it gave way.
I looked over to the side mirror and realized I was almost shifting.
“Xavier!” Rick called. His voice sounded far away.
In the next few minutes, I'm staring down at the shattered glasses. Bloods were spurting from my elbow but it soon started to heal. I felt the pain before it started to heal.
The pain I have always felt.
I looked up at Rick. “You are wrong, Rick. You were always wrong.”
He shook his head briefly. “You are just blinded by your rage and you won't see it. See, the moon goddess brought Autumn back, you said that,” he protested.
Yes, no matter what, I can't ignore the fact that the moon goddess brought Autumn back to me. She was truly dead. There was no way I would have made such a mistake.
I felt the anger start rising again. I was struggling hard to hold it. I felt a mixture of anger and sadness.
“Was I? Was I supposed to beg a traitor?” I yelled.
Rick frowned but didn't say a word.
“Was I,” my tone suddenly reduced to near a whisper and my anger slowly evaporated. “Was I supposed to apologize to the moon goddess because she gave me Autumn when she took my mother?”