An Aimless War - Chapter 11: Chapter 11

A moment of stunned silence followed Tannix's words, and then everyone started moving at once. Tannix ignored the room and walked towards the doors. Evrik and Jalor went after him. I started to follow, but Acen appeared beside me and grabbed my shoulder.
"A word, Finn. Kor?"
Kor joined us. "Sir?"
"Go get Ender and Mandell. We're on alert, three men on at a time until this settles down. Jalor, Evrik and I will take this first shift. You three take as much of a break as you can manage," Acen said.
Kor nodded and walked away. Everyone was moving in a rush, but an odd, controlled sort of rush. The guards were walking quickly, but there was no running. I wanted to run after Tannix. Instead, Acen spun me around to face him.
"I need to stay with him," I said. The reality of the situation was catching up with me.
"I know you're not a knight, but you need to be alert for any signs of danger," Acen said. "I'm going to stay in his room for some time. Go arrange to have a bed moved in for me."
"You can use mine, I don't—" I stopped myself just before the word 'use' left my mouth. "—need it. I can sleep on the couch."
"All right. Yes, that'll work." He started walking, so quickly I almost had to jog to keep up with him.
Soon we reached Tannix's chamber. Evrik and Jalor stood in the hallway. They hadn't been ready for this. Normally when they were on guard, they wore armour and proper uniforms. Evrik was wearing a loose shirt he had clearly been sleeping in, and he didn't have his belt of throwing axes or his shield, which he usually wore on his back. Jalor didn't look much better, although he had managed to pull on a set of leather bracers.
In the room, Acen immediately got to work dragging an armchair around to face the windows. He sat down rigidly and stared at them. Tannix was sitting at his desk, and he didn't move when we walked in. His head was buried in his arms.
I cautiously walked over, unsure of what to say to him. I wanted to help, to fix everything. I gently touched his arm. "Tannix?"
"Not now, Finn," he replied brokenly.
The despair in his voice hurt. I wanted to hug him, but I couldn't with Acen in the room. I didn't know what else to do, so I retreated to the couch and sat down, huddling into the comfortably cushions with my knees drawn up to my chest.
Then I waited.
Nothing changed for the rest of the day, even though everything had changed.
Acen never left the room, even when the twins and Mandell came to take over the watch. I realized, as I sat on the couch and tried to make sense of everything that was going on, that Acen and the knights had also been unexpectedly promoted. They went from guarding Lord Tandrix of West Draulin, to guarding Lord West Draulin. Acen had said as much.
Tannix had never wanted the city. But all at once it was his. All at once he was expected to rule, and lead his people through this tragedy. How could anyone expect that of him, when he was feeling the tragedy more than most of them? It wasn't fair to him, but I didn't know how to help.
The knights didn't let anybody bother us. A few times, I heard their voices in the hallway, turning people away. They knew what he needed and they were giving it to him. My already high opinion of them improved.
But the city wasn't willing to wait as long as he needed, and the war wasn't going to go away.
I slept fitfully on the couch. When eventually morning came and I sat up, I saw that Acen hadn't moved from his chair. He glanced over at me before turning his attention back to the windows. We sat in silence for some time, listening to Tannix toss and turn. The curtains were drawn around his bed. I wanted to slip through them, lay down beside him, and wrap him up in my arms.
A quiet knock on the door startled me, but not Acen. He stood, stretched, and went to answer the door. He stood with it open, keeping a watchful eye on the room while he talked to whoever was in the hall.
I was curious, and bored of the heavy silence, so I went to join them. Kor was handing Acen a letter. Mandell leaned against the wall opposite the door.
"—he wrote letters to Ladies Clairia and Tairia as well," Kor was saying. "But this one..."
Acen turned the letter in his hand. "Lord Tandrix West Draulin." I assumed he was reading the elaborate handwriting. "From King Tandrin Zianna."
Kor crossed his arms. "It doesn't sound right."
Acen sighed. "It is what it is. Like it or not we're the West Draulin Guard now. What are people saying?"
"The lad who ran in with the letters confirmed what Roland said. King Edarius was assassinated in his sleep. Queen Esmeranda named Tandrin acting king. Rumours are already spreading that she did it so he can lead the war effort. But they're both very young. Apparently, people aren't all that confident."
Acen glanced at the curtains around the bed. "They're all very young. What about East Draulin?"
"Still on fire. Presumably occupied. We've had ships and boats come in for refuge, but it sounds like a lot of people started fleeing down the coast."
"The Macreds?"
I knew that name. It was Lady Mayah's family.
Kor shrugged. "I don't think anyone knows. But they probably would have come here, if they could."
Movement down the hall distracted all three of them before Acen could reply. It was only a servant girl, carrying a tray of food. When she reached us she curtsied to Acen. "Lady West Draulin asked for food to be brought to Lord West Draulin."
Acen nodded at me. "Give it to Finn." Once she had handed me the tray and hurried off, he spoke again. "Finn, make him eat."
"What?" Tannix hadn't eaten the day before. I didn't know how I was supposed to make him eat if he didn't want to.
"He's spoken to you more than me, maybe he'll listen to you," Acen said.
"He's said about three sentences to me."
"That's more than the two words he's said to me," Acen pointed out.
That was true enough. Suddenly I had an idea. "Give me some time alone with him." I didn't bother worrying about what the knights might think of the request. "If anyone tries to climb through the window, I'll start screaming for you."
Acen didn't look pleased, but he nodded. "Just make him eat." He stepped into the hall and let the door swing shut.
Finally, I was alone with Tannix and I could actually help him. I left the tray on the table beside his bed, pushed the curtains aside, and climbed onto the bed to sit cross-legged beside Tannix. Then I took a moment to think over what I wanted to say to him.
"Tannix?"
He groaned and threw his right arm across his face. I pulled his arm back and laced our fingers together.
"Tannix, please look at me."
He opened his eyes and glared at me. "Where's Acen?"
Getting him to speak was a pretty small victory, but I was still pleased. "Outside, with Mandell and Kor. He says you have to eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"I know," I said. "I know what you're feeling."
"My father is dead," Tannix said slowly. "We were on the roof. Why didn't we see the assassin?"
The same thought had occurred to me, but admitting that wasn't helpful. "It isn't your fault."
"I could have stopped this."
"There's no way to know. Now, I know you're not hungry. But you still have to eat. I know what you're feeling."
"How do you know?" he growled, pulling his hand from mine. "I don't recall you being forced to inherit a city you were never supposed to inherit. Tandrin had been trained his whole life for this. But no, he decided to propose to Princess Esmeranda instead of following through with his role."
"Did you decide to fall in love with me?" I asked gently.
Tannix shook his head and sat up, turning so our knees touched. "No, I... I know what you're getting at. But still, Finn, this... He fell in love with the only person in the entire kingdom who outranked him. Even Princess Esmegara would have been better. You don't understand. You can't."
I carefully took his hand again. "My mother was very young when I was born, so she was very young when she died. By then I was living on my own, more or less, but I always went back to the brothel to visit her. I'd bring her things I'd stolen. Necklaces or bracelets or rings. I thought she deserved every beautiful thing I could get my hands on. She did her best to take care of me, so when I could sort of take care of myself I also thought I was old enough to take care of her."
Tannix quietly looked at me, but I couldn't meet his gaze. I stared at his hand, at his rings.
"One day, when I went to visit her, I could tell something was wrong. We had a system. I would knock on the window and count to twenty. If she didn't answer before I was done then it meant she was... occupied. So I knocked, and I counted, and nothing. But something felt wrong that time. I panicked. I kicked through the glass and climbed through the window. I was covered in cuts, but I didn't even notice because I saw her. Lying on the bed."
Tannix's hand tightened in mine. "You don't need to tell me."
"I do. I..." I paused and took a steadying breath. "She'd been stabbed. I remember seeing the blood everywhere. I guess I yelled. I climbed onto the bed and I tried to shake her awake but I knew it was impossible. Then some of the other women ran in and one of them carried me out of the room and held me in the hallway. Then I don't really remember the next few days. Just bits and pieces, like the woman who was holding me bandaged up my cuts, and tried to make me eat.
"Then... so later on, once I was just sort of used to the idea that she was gone, I found out that she had been with a Telt that night. And that her jewellery box was missing. So I've always wondered, if I hadn't given her so many gifts, maybe that Telt wouldn't have wanted to steal her box."
"Finn."
I glanced up quickly. "I know it wasn't my fault. I know that. But sometimes I still wonder about it. Just like you're wondering about us on the roof. You'll always wonder. Tannix, there's nothing you can say to help with what happened to me. There's nothing I can say to comfort you, either. All we can do is be here and understand. So please eat."
He inhaled deeply. "All right."
I smiled tentatively and pushed aside the curtain to grab the tray. I set it down beside us, and watched quietly as he picked at the food. It was nice to be near him again, just the two of us.
I dozed off, and when I woke up the bed curtains had been pulled back and tied to the bedposts. Tannix had changed into new clothes, and he was buckling his sword belt. I sat up, my movement drawing his attention.
"What are you doing?" I asked, stifling a yawn. If I was this tired, I could only imagine how exhausted he must have been. But he didn't look it.
Tannix nodded towards the door. I must have looked surprised, because a fleeting smile flashed across his face. "What happened was terrible, and I miss my father. I'm not prepared to be Lord West Draulin, but whining in my room isn't going to help anybody. My people need me. So really, the only course of action is to put on a brave front and deal with this."
I got up and tried unsuccessfully to smoothen out some of the wrinkles on my tunic. "You might not feel ready. But you're going to be a really good Lord West Draulin."
"You don't know that." He drew me into a loose hug. "You were so young when you lost your mother, and then you were alone. I have my mother, Tairia, and Tandrin. I have Acen and the men. I have you. Your story reminded me of all of that. It felt like I was alone, but I wasn't."
"You'll never be alone. I'm going to be with you."
"I hope you know what that means. We're not talking about a quiet life sitting in West Draulin, using my abundant money to help people. We're at war. Tandrin and I were handed the kingdom, and then we were handed a war."
I drew back a little, so I could see his face. "But you're not going to be too involved in the war, are you? Shouldn't you just be protecting New Teltar?"
"West Draulin has the biggest navy in the kingdom. We were specifically targeted because we're a threat. I can't avoid this war. But, and this is the only silver lining, I'm a soldier. Tandrin trained his whole life to lead West Draulin. I trained my whole life to lead an army."
He suddenly pulled me closer for a kiss. It was quick, obviously an attempt to calm his nerves before facing the world once again. When he let me go, he rested his left hand on his sword pommel. He ran his other hand over his face, sighed, and then with an astounding show of inner strength, pushed open his chamber door.
"Atricen, fill me in. We'll talk as we walk. Come on."