An Aimless War - Chapter 25: Chapter 25

"Mandell, pick him up! Kor, Ender, take out the archers. We'll push through Kalvahi. Once we're out on the streets we'll have a better chance at—"
"This way! We'll lose them in the poorer district."
"—will do, for now. We just need a few days to rest. We'll start up a watch rotation, and—"
"—dislocated. I can fix it, but it'll hurt."
"It isn't killing me. It isn't a priority. You need to help Finn."
"But you can take it out, can't you?"
"Yes, but you want me to do it safely, don't you? I thought you studied battlefield medicine."
"Jalor."
"All right, look. Deoran arrows are barbed, so that pulling them back out does even more damage than they did going in. I need to cut into the back of his shoulder and pull it out that way."
"But that'll—"
"I know. I know it's counterintuitive. But I need you to step back and let me do my job. Goddess willing, it isn't lodged in his bones. I should be able to do this relatively quickly. Mandell? Come hold him still."
"Jalor, I... do you think he'll feel it?"
"I don't know. But it wouldn't hurt to talk to him, just in case he can hear us. Maybe explain what's happening."
"Oh. All right... Finn? Finn, I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm sorry. We need to get this arrow out of your shoulder. It'll hurt. You heard Jalor... or maybe you didn't, but it needs to come out. I'll be right here the whole—"
"I shouldn't have brought you. It was stupid. You could have stayed behind in West Draulin, and... I just couldn't leave you behind. I couldn't bear to be separated from you, after that whole year. I guess I thought that if you were with me, I could protect you. But I was wrong, Finn. You protected us. You saved us. But you didn't sign up for this. The men all knew what they tried out for my guard—well, no. I guess they didn't know the extent of it. Still, they've always been prepared to lay down their lives for me. I don't want you to ever have to make that kind of choice. I... I need you to wake up, Finn. I love you."
"Well... hello, mate. It's Ender. Tannix is asleep, finally, but he said he'd only do it if we promised to talk to you. So... right. Dunno if you can hear us, but I reckon if you can, hearing us will be helpful. So... I owe you my life, mate. You probably got tired of hearing it back in that prison, but it's true. We couldn't have gotten out of there without you. But I wouldn't have even survived the prison ship without you feeding me. So thank you. Um... some good news is in order, then, aye? I can pretty much walk on my own. I mean... I'm slow. But it's something. Doesn't stop the others from fussing over me, but I guess it isn't so bad. You know, if I can survive getting gutted, I think you can survive this. You're one of us now, Finn. Our little brother. So you had better wake up soon."
"—doing my best, but I'm not a real physician. I'm a cavalryman who dabbled in battlefield medicine because I got bored while Tandrix was at the Order. I was never planning on becoming an actual medic. You need someone who—wake up soon, then it'll be easier to tell how you're doi—poison, but I haven't told Tand—might be wrong."
"You said he'd recover once the arrow was out! You said—"
"Please calm down. The wound isn't the problem. Acen and I discussed it, and we think the arrow may have been poisoned. It's a fairly common tactic for the Deorans. It slipped my mind entirely earlier, but I don't think there is anything I could have done th—"
"Give him something! Make him better!"
"I'm doing the best I can, but I simply don't have the right training for this sort of problem. If I went out into the city I might be able to find a real physician who would be willing to help."
"Go then. Take Joen. What should I do?"
"Everything you've been doing. Try to give him some water. And try to calm down. You're not doing yourself any favours."
"I'm fine."
"Tandrix."
"I'm sorry. I just..."
"I understand. We're all worried about him."
"Hello. We don't know each other but I thought it only right I take a turn talking to you. Oh, I suppose I should introduce myself, shouldn't I? I'm Lady Mayah... East Draulin. But given the circumstances, I think you should just call me Mayah. I've noticed that Lord Tandrix is very lax when it comes to the way his men talk to him. In any case... I know that arrow was meant for me. You saved me. Judging from how Lord Tandrix and his men talk about you, you saved them, too. I don't know what you are—well, you're not a knight, clearly. But you mean a lot to these men. I hope you recover soon."
"—get better, and I'll teach you how to throw the bigger knives, how does that sound? Maybe axes, too, that—good shot. I wish you had hit him, though, would've saved us some trouble. Although I guess killing the prince wouldn't be great for—should follow the laws of war, even if they aren't—coward, though, ran off the moment you were shot, like—"
"When we make mistakes, she forgives us. When we ask for help, she is always ready. And she listens... are you listening? He doesn't deserve this. Goddess, please, if you're listening, help him. I know I... I'll accept any consequences, if you're disappointed in me. But I can't apologize for loving him, and I think you understand that. So please don't let him be punished for something he can't help, and don't let him be punished because he doesn't believe in you. He doesn't deserve any of this."
"—but you're strong. Not like me. Inside. You're resilient. You got hurt more than any of us and you kept going. Well, except for Ender. That's real strength. I... uh... I don't know what else to say. May Zianesa heal you."
"I think you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that—"
"Don't."
"He might not make it."
"Acen, don't. He has to make it. You don't understand. I pushed him away for four years and he survived. I put him in jail twice and he survived."
"You know this is different."
"He can't..."
"Tannix, I know you don't want to think about this, but you have to. Because with or without him, I need to get you home. That's my job. But I need you to be functional."
"I shouldn't have brought him... this is my fault."
"Thinking like that won't help. Think about how he led us through East Draulin. How he kept us fed on the prison ship. How he stole keys while he was being beaten. How he saved Lady Mayah's life. If he dies here, he died a hero, and we'll honour him by getting home and continuing to fight this war. Because if we die here after everything he did to get us out, we'll be disrespecting his memory."
"I know... you're right. But I can't... Acen, I can't. He's... he's..."
"I can't imagine what you're feeling. I can't imagine how I would feel if this was Gallea."
"So... you know, then."
"You kissed him in front of us all. If we hadn't already figured it out, that would have done it."
"I can't lose him. Not after all of this. Father, and East Draulin, and what they did to me in that cell. Haven't I been through enough?"
"Too much. I'll leave you alone, just... try to prepare yourself."
"Mate, it's Kor. Reckon you might not be able to tell us apart by voice alone. Listen, mate, you saved Ender. I can never thank you enough for that. I'd've taken the arrow for you, if I'd noticed the archer. If it makes you feel any better, I shot the Goddess damned Deoran. And he won't be making it. Not like you, aye, you'll make it."
"I've dedicated my life to protecting him. But I don't think I'll be able to protect him if you die. I can't protect him from himself. So if you can hear me, keep fighting. Jalor and Joen are out looking for a ph—"
"—says he can help. He's dealt with this type of poison before."
"Dealt with? Does that mean successfully healed?"
"I honestly don't know. The language barrier is a little tough to work through. But he was the only physician we found who was willing to work with us."
"What if he makes things worse?"
"At this point I don't think he can get any wo—"
"Siour... I'm not sure if you exist, but Finn believes that you do, so... Please don't take him from me. I don't know any of the proper prayers to you, I'm sorry. Do you want someone in exchange? I'll go, if you do. Just please don't take him."
"—ing a chance to see my wife and daughters again, I wouldn't have that without you. Thank you. I've been praying to Zianesa and Anniva for you every day. I know they can help you."
"Please wake up, Finagale."