An Aimless War - Chapter 34: Chapter 34

"Do you know why what you did was unacceptable?"
Tandrin and Tannix shared the habit of pacing while they spoke. The king was slowly walking back and forth behind his desk, while I sat stock still in the armchair in front of the desk. Normally, Tandrin didn't make me nervous. But normally I wasn't in trouble.
I tried to come up the answer he was looking for. "Well... I-"
"Argued with me, in public," Tandrin interrupted. "But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that you made my brother argue with me. Do you understand why that would be problematic?"
I knew I had crossed a line in the city, but I wasn't sure how Tannix had done anything wrong. I started talking before knowing what I was going to say. "He... uh... you're the king, and he's supposed to obey you."
"Finn," he sighed my name, and turned to rest his hands on his desk. "I can't be exactly the way I want to be when I'm in public. Maybe one day, I'll be able to safely walk in the lower city, handing out money. It isn't just the war, it's me. Esmeranda inherited the throne, not me. And I'm a Tandran. I have to be careful I don't do anything that'll upset Zianna's advisors or generals or other nobles in the city. I can't do anything that'll upset the other city rulers. If I step too far out of line, I could be forced out of this position and leave Meranda to face the war on her own."
"But you're the king. How could anybody force you to do anything?"
"I'm not really the king. Not yet. Meranda crowned me almost the moment her father died, but it wasn't a proper coronation. And we're not married. We're betrothed. For Meranda, that was enough. Not everyone agrees. It's a bit of a mess and I won't bore you with the details. The point is, I can't have rumours spreading about my one real ally disrespecting or arguing with me."
"But Tannix would never-"
"I know," Tandrin interrupted. "I know he wouldn't. But people will make whatever they want out of what they see. Tannix and I need to be on the same page. It's for him, too. Our family has always been very popular with the people on New Teltar, but he's young and he wasn't supposed to become Lord West Draulin. If he slips up too many times people might lose confidence in him. Tannix and I don't have the luxury of settling into our positions and gaining people's trust before we have to face any real challenges. We have to figure out what we're doing, gain trust, and lead our people through this war."
I nodded. I couldn't imagine what that felt like, but I knew what he said was true. Granted, I didn't know enough about Teltish politics to understand what he was dealing with from his own people, but I did know something. "You did the right thing today," I said. "People will enlist, and when you have them trained and paid, and when we win this war, the Native Zians in Zianna won't forget what you said to them."
"I know it was the right thing to do. Thank you." He pulled out his chair and sat down. He wasn't annoyed anymore, just tired. "Back to Tannix for a moment. I'm not trying to imply that I want him to obey me blindly. I need him to tell me what he's thinking and argue with me, he just needs to do it in private. I know what happened in the city doesn't seem like much, but it was very telling."
"But..." I shrugged. "He just asked you to not make me beg."
"Because he values you over his position. I understand, I feel the same way about Meranda."
"But you don't have that luxury," I repeated his earlier word with a nod.
He smiled, and then for a moment just looked at me. He was so similar to Tannix. I almost found myself envying Queen Esmeranda, simply because she could be with Tandrin openly. But things weren't as simple as that for them, either. The envy faded, replaced by sympathy. Tandrin and Tannix had been given the kingdom. They had grown up with everything they could possibly need or want. But they had never been free the way I had been. Who would they have been if they had been born middle class?
Tandrin cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. He was still wearing his Tandran crest ring, which looked exactly like Tannix's. He would probably get another ring to wear for being king, once he was properly crowned.
"Finn," he spoke up. "I understand that your people have a goddess who helps people fall in love, and because of her, you're much more open to relationships between two men or two women. I just need to know that you understand that our people don't feel that way. One day, when all this is over, that's a mindset I would like to change. It's just not an injustice I can deal with right now. So I need you to promise that you'll keep Tannix in line. You're the better actor, and I think you'll be able to be more clearheaded about this."
He was probably right about that. "I will," I promised.
"All right... thank you. Now, there's something else I've been meaning to do." He straightened up. "Tannix told me you wear a chain around your neck with an Order ring, correct?"
"Yes..." I said hesitantly. "Do you want me to give it back?"
He dug through a desk drawer as he spoke. "I should, but no. I believe Lord Co was given a replacement, and you earned that one. I just wanted to make sure you have a place to put this." He held up a ring I instantly recognized. A slim gold band with a rectangular white stone.
A champion ring.
I was speechless. Tandrin laughed at the look on my face. "Finagale, it is my pleasure to award you this special honour. I can't give you a big ceremony, but I can give you what you deserve. This is for your enormous part in saving King Edarius' life last year . It's for getting Tannix, his men, and Lady Mayah out of Deorun. It's for helping me rally your people, and convincing me it was the right thing to do. You are a champion to Zianna, even if most people don't know it. I know it. So this is for you."
He held the ring across the desk, and I stretched to take it from him, feeling like I was in a daze. I gazed down at the ring as it sat in my palm. Slowly, words came to me.
"Tan... your majesty. I don't... I was only doing what I had to do." I tore my eyes from the ring to see that Tandrin was giving me the same look Tannix sometimes did, with one eyebrow cocked.
"What you had to do?" he repeated. "You were a thief. You didn't have to get involved in any of this, and yet, here you are. You've made choices over and over again, putting yourself in danger for other people. You're a champion."
Still feeling dazed, I unclasped my chain. The champion ring slid down to hang beside my Order ring with a quiet clink.
"I've looked through the records. You're the only Native Zian to ever be awarded a champion ring," Tandrin said. "Once we've made it through this war, I'll give you a real ceremony. I have a feeling that by then, you'll deserve it even more."
I tucked the rings back under my tunic. The significance of what he had just done hovered between us, but I still didn't know what to say.
The day before we were leaving for Navire, I explored the new training area that had been set up in the castle fields. Temporary wooden buildings and fenced in fields had been set up to house and train all the new recruits from the lower city. Native Zian blacksmiths joined Telt ones at the forges that were making new weapons and armour as quickly as possible. Acen had checked the listings for me, so I knew where to find Castin. I made my way through the hubbub, avoiding men, women and horses alike, until I found myself in the right part of the wooden barracks.
The first day of everyone's training began with testing to see where they would be most suited. Castin had been placed with swordfighters. I tried not to think too much about that. A few months of training couldn't possible prepare Castin for what was coming.
I forced the thoughts out of the way once I finally found Castin in one of the fenced off training areas. A handful of clumsy duels were taking place, but Castin was part of the group observing. He was sitting on the fence comfortably. He was definitely the youngest one there, and the worry in my chest clenched.
It was harder to push away this time. I reached into my pocket and squeezed my hand around the smooth stone there. Once I got the worry under control I went to sit beside Castin.
"Good morning, Cast."
"Morning." He didn't look away from the duels. "Why are you here? Checking up on me? Well, I'm doing fine. Better than you would, in any case."
"I know." There was a bitter tone in his voice that I thought came more from his own nervousness than actual anger at me. The knife Acen had given him was tucked into his belt, but I couldn't see his little knife anywhere.
I let the silence sit between us for a while, as I tried to figure out how to properly put my thoughts into words. Castin and I had always spoken in taunts, but this was serious. "Castin... be careful."
He turned to me. "Is that all you came to say?"
"Baisan let you do this?"
Castin looked away. "Baisan couldn't stop me. He's my friend, not my master."
"But what about Stria and Gale?"
He was looking down at his hands, and he tugged absentmindedly at his left sleeve. "It's... it's hard. Leaving them is the hardest thing I've ever done, but I'm doing it for them. I want Gale to grow up in this Zianna, not under the Deorans. You believe in the king, and I believe in you. And the money... let's just say it's well worth the risk for the money."
"I don't think your life is worth the risk. I think Stria, Gale and Baisan would prefer you."
Castin shrugged. "If something happens to me, Stria and Gale will be taken care of. That's what the king promised." He raised his eyes again. "For once in my life, I'm going to deserve the money I have. For once I'll be able to provide for my family in an honest way. They mean everything to me. Gale, Stria, Baisan... Ninavi and the boys... I want what's best for them. And that isn't a hungry, cold life on the streets. They need the money."
"We didn't do too badly."
"We survived," Castin said, either agreeing with me or correcting me, I wasn't sure. "It was hard. I don't want Gale to grow up the way we did."
"You'd rather he grew up without a father?"
"We did."
"We had no choice."
"At least if I die, Gale will know who I was and know that I loved him, which is better than we had." He forced a smile. "I'm not running in blind. I'm training. I have a chance. I've always been good at this."
He had always been good at fighting, but knife fights with drunk thugs weren't the same as sword fights with soldiers. He knew that, so saying it wasn't going to help. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the stone. It was a flat oval, with carvings on both sides. A shield on one side to represent the war god, Tros, and a crescent moon on the other to represent Tros' wife, Anniva, the goddess of healing. The stone was strung on a piece of thick string.
Castin took the amulet and lay it on his palm. "Thank you."
"May they watch over you," I said. "And Zianesa, too."
"May she watch over you, too." Castin smiled in earnest and he tied the string around his neck. "Although I think Lukk's your personal patron at this point."
"I thank them both all the time," I said. "I... I don't think we'll see each other again. Before you leave, I mean. I'm going to Navire tomorrow."
"Navire?"
I shrugged. "Tannix needs to talk to Queen Navire about allying with us."
"And you need to be there?"
I shrugged again. "It's... there's more to it."
"Well. Be careful," Castin said.
"I will be."