An Aimless War - Chapter 4: Chapter 4

I woke up slowly. Bright sunlight shone through the window, giving the room a cozy glow. There were faint sounds coming from outside. People talking, the occasional clip-clopping of hooves against the cobblestones, the creaking of nearby ships. I spent a moment just listening to them. They were the sounds of people in their everyday lives, lives that would have remained unchanged if I had been hanged. It was hard to imagine.
Tannix was lying on his back, his left arm draped over his stomach, and his right arm pinned underneath me. The night before had felt like one of my dreams, but he really was beside me. I could hardly believe that he was there, and that I was there, too. Not just in the bed, but alive.
After a moment I sat up, crossed my legs, and sat facing him. The blankets shifted with me, sliding off of him. He was wearing a different tunic than he had during the day, instead of crisp and white it was black and soft. I let my gaze travel up to his face.
Tannix was handsome. With that observation came the realization that I had always thought he was handsome; I had just never quite been able to acknowledge it. I chalked up my attraction to the fact that he wore nice clothes and rings, without letting myself admit that there was more to it. His kiss the year before had worked like a key, unlocking the thoughts, giving them permission to exist.
I let myself look at him the way I had a year ago, in the rain. The way I had in my daydreams. His tousled golden-brown hair, his Telt features relaxed in sleep, his broad shoulders, his strong arms. I paused, my eyes catching sight of something around his right wrist. A thin scar, so faint it would be hard to notice if I hadn't already known it was there.
Tannix had stepped in between me and a whip, and there was the proof.
Tentatively, I picked up his right arm to lay it across my lap. I pushed back his sleeve to get a better look. I remembered seeing the scar for the first time that night in the palace. I remembered wishing I could kiss it, just before guards pulled me away from Tannix. Now I finally could.
I kissed the underside of his wrist, where the scar was the thickest. On his pale skin the scar was almost silver. I had never seen the whip scars on my back, but I knew they were dark against my light brown skin. Dark and probably shiny, like the brand on my left shoulder. I gave his scar another kiss.
Tannix shifted, and suddenly embarrassed, I dropped his arm. When I met his gaze, he was smiling.
"You noticed the scar?"
"I noticed it last year," I said. "You never told me you were hurt."
"Because I wasn't. At least..." he sighed as he sat up, and rubbed the scar with his left hand. "I wasn't about to complain about something this small after what you had been through. This was nothing."
"I don't like that you got hurt for me."
His smile came back. "I would have taken every one of those lashes for you if I could have."
"Tannix, I..." I wanted to tell him that I didn't want that. It was easy to say so long after the beating had happened, but in the moment, would I have let him get hurt instead of taking it myself? There weren't many people I would willingly get hurt for.
Suddenly another thought occurred to me. "I need to see Baisan and the others before we leave."
Tannix nodded. "Of course. But first I thought we should get some food."
"Oh. Yes," I nodded firmly. "Obviously."
I made my way through the crowded streets with practiced ease. The lower city was bustling with activity, like it always was. It was somehow comforting to see that nothing had changed. The old buildings looked just as run down as usual. The people around me looked just as shabby. Zianna had been my home for my entire life. West Draulin was going to be a big change.
Tannix trailed after me. His blue cloak and the bag slung over his shoulder were getting some attention, but the sword on his belt was enough to ward most people off. I kept an eye on the people around us anyway, just in case.
When we reached my old home, I strolled in without thinking. I really shouldn't have been surprised to be roughly pushed into the wall. My head hit the stone. I groaned and closed my eyes, only to open them a moment later when my attacker was pulled away from me.
Tannix had Baisan pinned against the wall beside me, his left forearm across Baisan's chest. His right hand was clenching the handle of his dagger. Baisan knew better than to fight back. The knife he had been holding—Castin's knife—clattered as it hit the floor.
"Tannix, he didn't mean to." I rubbed the back of my head. "Let him go."
Tannix stepped back and crossed his arms. For a moment Baisan didn't move. They eyed each other steadily, two leaders facing off.
Tannix cleared his throat. "I told you I'd get him out."
"Took your time," Baisan replied, with far more confidence than I expected.
"It was a complicated situation," Tannix said, but he nodded. Maybe to acknowledge Baisan's point.
Baisan seemed to take the nod as a sort of tentative truce. He whirled on me suddenly. "For the love of Zianesa, I'm going to kill you. You run off without telling me why and get yourself arrested for a year? And condemned to death! What is wrong with you? Do you want to die? Because if you'd like I'll call Siour to take you in his chariot right now. Or do you prefer to be tortured and imprisoned first? And all this for some stupid Telt king we don't even like!"
"I didn't do it on purpose," I replied sheepishly. "Get arrested, I mean. The rest was on purpose. I'm sorry I worried you."
"You didn't," Baisan grumbled unconvincingly. "Thank Zianesa your Telt pulled through. Finn..."
"I know." I didn't need him to say it to understand.
Baisan had grown. He was about a year younger than me, and a year ago he had looked it. Now he was slightly taller than me, and broader. He looked strong. But not strong enough to take on Tannix, who stared at us with his arms still crossed.
I stopped my inspection of him to glance around the room, for the first time noticing Ninavi and Leker hovering in the back. I met Ninavi's gaze.
She sprung across the room and buried herself in my arms, her speed nearly knocking me into the wall again. "Finn, we were so worried about you. Even Baisan. We thought you were going to die, and..." she hesitated, blinking back tears. "The boys went to go see... the hanging. Stria and I couldn't bear to watch, so we went to the temple. I begged every single god and goddess to help you."
Over her shoulder, I looked at Tannix. "Thank you, Ninavi. One of them definitely heard you."
Tannix nodded. "I'm sure they helped me."
He didn't believe in my gods. I knew that, but Ninavi turned to him, beaming. "Baisan told us about how you saved him. Thank you."
With a nervous glance at Tannix, Leker joined us. "I'm glad you're free. Baisan kept telling us that Lord Tandrix was going to free you. But it was hard to believe sometimes. You know... it might be weird having two Finns around."
"What?" I glanced between him, Baisan and Ninavi. "What are you talking about?"
"That's true," Baisan agreed. "I guess we'll have to get rid of one of them."
"What are you talking about?" I repeated. "Ninavi?"
Ninavi giggled and pushed away from me. "Stria had a baby," she explained with a wide smile. "He's Castin's, of course. She's been living in that big brothel by the gate so some of the women can help her until he's a little bit older, then she'll come back."
The news was somehow both shocking but not really surprising. "A baby?" I repeated.
Ninavi nodded. "And, well... they named him after you. We thought you were going to die."
I grinned, equally thrilled and touched by the idea. "My full name? So do you call him Finn?"
"Yes, your full name. But no, we don't call him Finn. We did at first, but it never felt right. So now we call him Gale," Ninavi explained. "Baisan makes sure one of the boys stays at the brothel with her, just in case someone... well, you know. Orrun's with her now."
"What about Castin?" I asked. "Shouldn't it be his job to stay with her?"
Ninavi's face fell. "It is, usually, but—"
Baisan cut her off. "Castin was arrested at your hanging. We were going to try something. It was stupid, we didn't have an actual plan. We just stood there trying to come up with something, but then we ran out of time. We were desperate, Castin just ran forward. I think he was going to try to climb up onto the platform and cut you loose. Then—" he paused to nod at Tannix. "Then you stepped up, and I lost sight of Castin in the crowd. The next time I saw him he was being dragged away by a guard. I found his knife later, by the gallows."
It was hard to shake the image of Castin, beaten and curled up in the cell that had been my whole world for a year. But he wouldn't be put in a solitary cell. He would be put with everyone else, and that was far worse.
I rubbed my branded shoulder absentmindedly. "Tannix? You can do something about him, right? Before he gets hurt?"
He nodded. "I'll let Tandrin know. He'll be able to convince Esmeranda to have him released."
"Esmeranda?" Ninavi asked. "The princess?"
"Who's Tandrin?" Baisan asked at the same moment.
"My brother," Tannix said. "And yes, the princess. She and Tandrin are... close."
Baisan's eyes widened. "Wait. Is your brother the one we've heard rumours about? He's courting the princess? Your brother is going to be king?"
Tannix shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe. Regardless, he'll be able to help Castin. Finn? I need to get ready for the trip. I'll let Tandrin know about Castin. I assume you want to visit Stria and the baby. Could you meet me at the gate around noon?"
"The trip?" Ninavi interrupted.
"Oh. I'm going with Tannix." It was harder to say than it had been to make the decision. "To West Draulin."
None of them took the news particularly well. Not even the bag of dried meats and fruit Tannix had brought for them helped smoothen things over. I knew they didn't understand why I would leave. They probably assumed Tannix was forcing me to go with him. I couldn't explain the real reason.
Once they had more or less accepted that I was leaving, I got to go visit Stria. She was staying at a brothel I was familiar with. Many of the girls who worked there wore jewellery I had sold to them.
The older woman at the front desk gave me a bored glance as I stepped into the main room. "I should have expected you to wiggle your way out of being hanged."
I shrugged. "Lukk was with me. I'm here to see Stria."
She nodded at a door across the room. "Head down the hall. She's near the kitchen."
"Thank you."
Much like Ninavi had, Stria leapt into my arms when I walked into her room. It was small, with a single bed and enough room for a makeshift crib. Orrun was sitting on her bed, cross-legged. He was carving into a small piece of wood. I nodded at him, but most of my attention went to the crib. Stria hovered behind my shoulder as I leaned over it.
The baby was bigger than I expected. He was fast asleep, wrapped up in the soft red cloth Stria had always worn as a sash around her hips. He had dark curly hair, and his little face was scrunched up. As I watched, he squirmed back and forth. Then he suddenly opened his eyes and started crying.
I flinched away, startled. Stria pushed me aside and scooped him into her arms. "Shh, darling. Are you hungry? He's hungry." She repeated firmly, with a meaningful glance at me.
"Oh! Right, sorry." I backed up and politely averted my eyes as she fed him. I wasn't sure if talking was really appropriate in the moment, but I figured Stria would have no problem shushing me if she didn't want to talk. "So... he's Castin's?" I had to be sure.
"Yes," she replied. "I know why you're asking. Thank you for worrying, but yes, he's Castin's."
"And you decided to name him after me?"
"Well, you were going to die," Stria pointed out. "Castin and I wanted to honour you. Isn't that right, Gale?" she cooed.
"I am honoured," I agreed. I proceeded to explain to her and Orrun everything I had already told the others, about Tannix and moving to West Draulin. I told them that Tannix's brother was going to free Castin. By the time I was finishing the story, Stria was rocking the baby to sleep and I was sitting beside her on the bed, watching with undisguised interest. "Can I hold him?"
Stria glanced at me skeptically. "Promise you won't drop him."
"I won't. Why would I drop my nephew and namesake?" I grinned as she handed him to me, and I carefully cradled him in my arms. "Hello, little Finagale. You'd better watch over them all while I'm gone. They need somebody smart to keep them safe."
"So, West Draulin?" Orrun had been quiet during my story, carving away at his bit of wood. It looked like he was trying to make a human figure, maybe a toy or a little statue. "Won't you miss us?"
"Of course," I replied, without looking away from the baby. "But I owe it to Tannix. He saved my life."
Stria reached over to tuck in the corner of Gale's blanket. "Are you sure that's the only reason?"
"I... yes." Her apparent insight caught me off guard. "I need to go."
"All right." Stria took Gale from my arms, and carefully leaned across him to kiss my cheek. "I'm glad you're safe. We'll miss you."
"I'll miss you, too."
Tannix and Baisan were at the gate, warily watching each other. I stepped up to join them.
"You know, nobody made you stand this close together. You could have been on opposite sides of the street. So, is Tandrin going to help with Castin?"
Relief flashed across Tannix's face. Part of him was still worried I would change my mind. I couldn't blame him. He didn't know how I felt. "Yes, he'll look into it. It might take him a day or two, but Tandrin will get him out of jail."
I shot Baisan a grin. "When he gets home, tell him that I rescued him."
"I'm sure he'll believe that," Baisan replied. "Finn... be careful, right? Bad things seem to happen to you when you're with him."
"That was back when I could be arrested. I'll be perfect safe now."
"Well, you're always welcome to come home," Baisan said. "Thank you, Lord... Tannix. I'm glad Finn met you and not a normal Telt. That's a compliment, sir." He held out his hand.
It was a high-class gesture. A Telt gesture.
Tannix shook his hand warmly. "I'll take it as one, and I promise I'll take care of Finn."
"Yes, well... Good luck, Finn." Baisan offered me the same hand.
Instead of shaking it, I hugged him. "May Zianesa watch over you."
He finally slipped his arms around me. "And you, too."