An Unheard Voice - Chapter 29: Chapter 29

I have come to a conclusion.
Akito is suffering brain damage which caused him to do that on my birthday.
I mean, that's.. the only thought I got. Like, I thought he liked Momoi. Momoi likes him, why wouldn't he?! Well.. maybe he actually likes me.. No, that's dumb! Why is this so difficult to think about, damnit?!
"It's your month, homo." An says, laying my bed and I snap out of it.
.. When did I ever invite her here in the first place..? I turn my chair to face her, and she sits up.
"I'm getting tired of waiting for you to confess to Akito. You're so in love it's getting stupid." She scoffs, and I blush. I pout, turning away.
"Seriously, though! Why won't you do it already?! I literally saw you two kiss!! A-Also, sorry again for interrupting.." She awkwardly laughs, clearing her throat. "Just go to him and say 'Akito, I love you so much!!'" She makes a kissing face, and laughs. Yeah, I'm not doing that.
"And then Akito'll say 'omg. Toya. I love you too let's make out kitten' and you'll say 'I've been waiting for this moment meow nya', and then you two make out and have 24 babies!! So 12 have A as their initial and the other 12 with T, and not forgetting you guys make out." She continues by listing many names and one extra with Yuzuha. Huh..? T.. that's 25.
An makes a kissing noise for the 'making out' part, imitating a deep voice for Akito's part. Did she seriously try imitating me meowing? I'm going to kick her out. "Oh no, don't do that in public though some things are meant to be kept a secret." She pauses, smiling blankly. My face heats up, and I turn away again.
"Speaking of secrets, I was actually surprised when Airi came out. I mean, I don't get suspicious of people's personal life, so obviously it was surprising. Y'know, like with Mizuki, I totally started getting excited." She sighs with a blank face. Did- Wait, Momoi is-?
And did she seriously get reminded of secrets and tell me? I raise my eyebrows, actually surprised. She looks at me, and gasps.
"Crap, wait-- I wasn't supposed to tell you that!! She was really panicking on telling Akito and I.. who knows what her reaction would be! Please don't tell her I told you! Damn it, and I was specifically told not to.." An mumbles and pinches the bridge of her nose, freaking out.
I shouldn't say anything to Momoi about this yet, in that case.. From what An said, she may be uncomfortable sharing with other people. It must have took a lot of courage just for two people.. I know how that feels.. and I respect that completely.
.. speaking of Momoi.. has she been close with Akito lately..? I bumped into them the other day, Akito was happy to see me, but.. on the other hand, she didn't seem too thrilled. Were they on a date?! Crap, were they holding hands?! Like Akito does to me, does he hold everyone's hand?!
Wait-- but she's been holding that secret all this time.. she's been scared. Here I am, thinking so selfishly...
But if we're on the topic of "secrets"..
"If it's not rude to ask," I drag her to look at my computer, and continue typing. "Remember that time during the night on Halloween when you said Akito did something? Can you tell me what happened..?" Although I instantly regret it when I see her face full of worry. I shouldn't have pushed it.. well, maybe An wasn't the right choice to ask?
"I'm sorry, Toya. Maybe.. I already blurt out one secret, so I'm zipping my mouth! And plus, I don't really know the full story, I just.. I don't want to tell you anything about him behind his back especially to you.. He'd definitely find out and kill me." An awkwardly giggles again, shivering. I nod, but I'm a bit disappointed.
"But I think I am ready to tell you my secret." She hums, and grabs her phone. She then pulls out a photo, and hands it to me. It's kind of old..?
It's a girl with long black hair smiling widely. Wait, is that.. An? I look back at her, and compare the two.
"Yup. That's me with long hair. Get ready for a long story." She sighs, laying down on my bed again. She better fix my bed after she's done...
(Woohoo past trauma scene!! Umm it won't be as explicit as my draft was (it was HORRIBLE), but it's more like an attempt to be serious.. coming from hqrukx.)
"What's up, Mizu?" An says, sitting on the swing next to them.
"Oh, I just wanted to see the girl with her beautiful long hair." They wink, and An raised an eyebrow at them, unamused. "Aw, it's no fun to tease you anymore now that you're not shy like you used to be~."
"Whatever. You said you needed to talk to me, spit it out before my mom wakes up and yells at me when I get back." She scoffed, and Mizuki sighs, staring at the ground.
"Um.. Please don't hate me for this. Or.. see me differently, hopefully.." They muttered, and An sat up.
"Yeah, of course.. I'd never judge you. I don't hate you, either. You can tell me anything."
".. Remember when you used to like me?"
".. What?" She gets surprised, blinking. An never told them that before.. "how did you..?"
"Yeah, well, I used to like you too.. a-actually, I still do." Mizuki finally said after a long pause, and An immediately turned to them. They stayed silent for a few more moments, and An laughed.
"You're joking right? Even if you are, t-that's not cool."
"I'm serious, An. What do you mean? It's just someone told me, and-"
She immediately got up from her swing, looking down at Mizuki.
"Shut up. Don't- Don't say that, Mizuki." She backed away, but they got up, grabbing her hand.
"Why not? Are you okay? What's wrong, An?" They asked, genuinely worried. An pushed Mizuki away, snatching her hand away. "I-I love you, An. I have for a while now--"
"It's not about that, shut the fuck up!" An shouted, making Mizuki go quiet. She huffed, beginning to shake. "I know you don't. Stop saying that. I know about your confession with Kamishiro. He rejected you, didn't he?" An began tearing up. She didn't even know why she was crying, it's not like she was sad. Just so.. furious.
"Wh-What..? Look, I understand if you reject me, but denying my feelings is--!!" They tried saying, but An interrupted them.
"You don't like me. You never did. I don't know who told you I did before, but I don't anymore. I don't know which one of us you're trying to make feel better, but it's too late, Mizuki!" An sobs, wiping away her tears. She carefully takes off the hair clips, and shoving them in their hand.
"I don't want to be the last person you go to again. Like you said, I'm not the pushover I used to be. And I'm dating Kohane, remember?! How would she feel if she saw this, and how do you think it makes me feel? Think about other people for once, asshole!"
Mizuki went completely silent, staring at the hairpins in shock. An has never acted like this either...
"I've loved you for the longest time ever, and have you once looked at me?! No, you haven't! Because all you ever did see in me was a punching bag, huh?!" She cries, pointing at Mizuki, who is distraught. "I'm not being your second choice anymore. I-I'm not being the person to tell you what you want to hear anymore..." An says before storming away, but then running. She can't believe she actually said that.
Especially since the two had always been there for each other. What gives An the right to suddenly lash out at them? But why would Mizuki suddenly come out saying this..?
When she got home, she was trying her best to be quiet but it was hard since everything was suddenly so loud at 2 in the morning, on top of the fact she was shaking.
An tried going to the bathroom and splashed her face with cold water, but the tears wouldn't stop. Something was also bothering her, but she didn't know what it was. She saw a pair of scissors, slowly picking them up.
She slowly picked them up, trembling. If she could finally stand up for herself.. she can make her own choices now. She doesn't have to live under anyone's rules, nobody's depending on her anymore.. well, she's not going to let anyone take her presence for granted that is. She got lost in thought and before she knew it, she was.. holding a chunk of her hair with stars in it.
She looked back up at the mirror, as her heart skipped a beat seeing what she did. She cut.. her hair. Hold on-- the hair she was told to never cut. Because the length she wanted wouldn't be considered "feminine", according to someone...
What a load of crap, honestly.
I mean.. if she just hid the evidence, it would never be known. Panicked, instead of throwing it away, she put the scissors to her hair again.
Once she was finished, it didn't look great, but.. she felt better.
Her hand flew to her mouth, and she sobbed.
"M-Mom's going to kill me.." Her voice trembled as she looked with wide, teary eyes.
(CW: strong language but nothing too intense (does cw mean content warning.. I didn't know if I used that or tw..))
Her mother dropped her drink, spilling it on the floor. She was shocked. Eventually anger was visibly painted on her face, and she got up from her seat.
An flinched, looking at the ground in guilt.
"What the fuck were you thinking, An?! Your hair looks terrible, why would you do that?!" She shouted, clenching her fists.
"I-I'm sorry, I--"
"Shut up, I'm not taking your stupid ass excuses! It's 2 in the morning, what the hell is wrong with you?! You made it clear you wouldn't cut it, now you look like a fucking boy! You little brat-!!" She screamed as she slapped her, blinded by rage.
An froze, her shaky hand slowly rising to her cheek. She didn't know what to say. Of course her "mother" was more aggressive when she was drunk, which..
But then again, why does her opinion matter, she didn't really mind looking masculine. The woman in front of her had high expectations for An, so when she started dating Ken, she became more strict and hard on her.
'It's for your own good', that was her excuse. But she really shouldn't be drinking if it makes her more violent during her lectures.
An never dared to tell her father, since the consequences would be way worse than a slap. Plus- she's lucky it was just that.
"And so that's basically the first half. After that, she uh.. well got in trouble. For her drinking problems and we got help for her. Dad broke up with her too and that's the last time I stayed at her house, which was kind of to protect me, I love him for that." An said, staring at the ceiling. She's.. saying this so casually.
I stare at her, in disbelief. Is she.. she's been through this? Hasn't she been in pain? A tear rolls down my cheek, I'm absolutely.. speechless.
"Ah, I made Toya cry! I'm sorry!" She shrieks, hugging me tightly. I manage to pull away, looking at her.
"Why.. d-do you act like.. y-you're okay..?" I looked at her with tears, and her eyes widen. She quickly recovers however, giggling.
"I'm glad you care about me, Toya. But I want you all to be happy rather than worrying about me... I really try to stay strong for you all. I keep telling myself things will get better, and.. and ever since I became your friend, they have. There's not a dull moment with you, is there?" She gives me a weary smile, as her voice cracks. I hug her tightly, wiping my tears away.
"Don't tell Mizuki, okay? This'll be between us." She asks, and I nod. She wraps her pink around mine, as I tilt my head. "It's a pinky promise!"
She deserves better than this.
"Bye, An! Be safe!" My mother and I wave. She then turns to me, smiling. "You're a great friend." She ruffles my hair. Did she hear..? I'm not surprised, she eavesdrops all of my conversations.
She hums and walks back inside, but I stay outside for a little longer to watch her leave. Once she's finally gone, I open the door, but hear footsteps approaching. I turn around, seeing Akito. What is he doing here?
I wave, surprised, but he takes my hand.
"Toya.. I need to tell you something!" He huffs, but I look to the side, tilting my head. "... No I don't, I just wanted an excuse to see you." He sulks and looks down in embarrassment. I smile, letting out a soft laugh.
He invited me to go out with him-- to show me the store he works at, of course!!
But he seemed so nervous the whole time. We actually.. didn't make it to the store yet because I wanted to get ice cream on the way.
.. It was tempting...
I don't think I'd be able to finish this by myself.. uh, whatever. Although it was a bit embarrassing to be this excited because Akito was.. staring at me.
I might be getting shy now. I finally turn to him with the spoon in my mouth, blushing. Seriously, what's going on..? His face turns bright red, and he quickly turns away.
"A-Akito..? Are- Are you.. okay? And.. can I ask you s-something?" I mumble as my heart starts racing, looking away from him.
"Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Also, go ahead." He turns to me, his cheeks still red. I get flustered, staring at the ground.
"I.. I had a.. question. A-Are you.. dating Momoi..?" I stare at him, getting nervous. I feel like I might be getting too personal with my questions.. I need to stop.
He stares at me, surprised, blinking. There's a few more moments of silence before Akito bursts into laughter.
"Of course not! Airi is just a very close friend, we're not dating.. wait- Is that why you've had a scowl on your face whenever we were together? Were you jealous? That's so adorable." He chuckles and his face turns red, pulling my hair away from my eyes, and I blush like crazy.
Pouting, I turn my head away. He laughs again, pinching my cheek. He's such a tease...
But.. I don't think he said he didn't like Momoi.. is it possible they actually like each other? Maybe she doesn't actually.. but it makes me really relieved to hear they're not together.
I mean, um.. we're alone, and nobody's supposed to come meet us.. I doubt we'll bump into anyone..
".. Akito, I--"
"Akito!!" Someone yells from the distance, and we both turn around to see..
.. Momoi?