An Unheard Voice - Chapter 32: Chapter 32

"Welcome home, Toya." My mother greets me after I came back from the arcade with Akito. I nod and wave back, but then I see my father coming out of his room.
I should let Akito know I won't be able to meet with him for a while... it's not like he stays that long, anyway.
"It's time for dinner, so go have a seat while I get everything ready." She says as she takes me to the table and goes back into the kitchen.
I sit across from my father, trying not to show my discomfort from the silence. I try not to do anything that could annoy him.
"How have you guys been?" He asks. Does he really care, though?
".. Good." I mumble as my heart already begins to race. Except I'm anxious. If there's one thing I hate doing, it's talking to my father. He always scolds me for mumbling in front of him or not speaking loud enough.
He doesn't answer. I'm kind of relieved, but the atmosphere is kind of tense.. did they have a fight? That can't be good.
School has already been stressful for all of us. Well.. mostly An and Akito. I usually help them with their assignments after school at Ken's café with Azusawa helping me.
After my mother comes back I thank her quietly, and she smiles at me. I'm glad my father avoided mentioning how late I came home.
"So," My mother finally breaks the unbearable silence and turns to me. "How have you been doing in school, Toya?" She asks and I glance at my father to see him staring. That means there's only one way I can reply...
"I'm.. getting good g-grades, so it's going okay. An.. is the only one in my class this year. B-But Akito and the others usually v.. visit during lunch." I stop before my voice becomes shaky. For some reason I'm even more anxious to talk in front of him...
He should be proud to hear that, right? But he's never been proud of a single thing I've done.. never mind, why would I even think that? He was not happy when he found out I was diagnosed with a communication disorder. And he's certainly not thrilled I'm still going to school, either.
I can still remember what my brothers said when I finally decided to quit classical music. They called me naive. I wish they understood how happier I am now that I'm forming connections for the first time in a long time..
I can probably see why they said that, though. I was picked on in middle school. It was hard staying there because I've never talked to any other child my age except Tsukasa and Saki. I guess they found me an easy target because I couldn't say anything back to them.
And yet there I was. Going back after my last experience, hoping that this time it would be better. And it was.. I'm trying to improve. I just don't want him to get bothered by this anymore. Whatever my therapist recommended I always did it. I was scared.
It's not like I ever wanted this to happen.. but I can't keep beating myself up for this.
"I'm proud of you. You've improved so much." She fixes my hair and pinches my cheek slightly. I know she's trying her best not to be too loud whenever my father is home. Wait, did she lock the cats in her room..?
"Toya, allow me to ask you something." My father speaks, and I get taken by surprise. My mother sighs quietly and rubs her forehead. I have a bad feeling about this.
"Are you proud of yourself?" He tilts his head slightly, and before my mother can talk to him he raises his hand, signaling her that he wants to speak to me alone.
I nod, still not looking at him in the eye. How could I not be..?
"Are you glad that you've quit everything you worked for just to end up where you are now?"
I am.
"Yes. I.. I'm happy they are able to a-accept me despite this.. I wish you could.. do the s-same."
He's scowling now. Did he not want me to reply like that? I'm sorry.
"How can you be happy when you've done nothing?" He asks, those few words felt like a knife had pierced through my heart. As I think about how to answer that, my hands beginning to tremble. I feel like crying.
"Harumichi, that's enough." My mother snaps, and he glares at her.
"You can't continue to sit there and do nothing. I don't know what caused him to be like this, but you've babied him to the point he doesn't put an effort into this speaking problem anymore."
You're joking, right?
"I'm sorry, who was the one that isolated him from other children? You never even let him participate in any school activities! It was like you wanted to break his fingers off with the lessons you gave him. You have no reason to be treating him like this, he's your son." She regains her composure and frowns.
He stays silent for a minute before speaking.
"I only wanted what was best for Toya. His brothers grew up to become professional musicians, why couldn't he? I had nothing to do with his social skills. 'Improvement'? I don't see that happening any time soon. No son of mine has a a problem with speak properly."
.. Huh?
"As much as you claim it's my fault, it won't change anything. You need to work this 'communication disorder' on your own, Toya. There will never be anyone there for you to help you with it. I'm disappointed in you." He stands up before pushing in his chair. "Thank you for the meal. Goodnight."
My voice remains unheard yet again.
My mother grumbles and runs her fingers through her hair.
"This is so stupid. I'm sorry, To--" She turns to me as my hands continue to shake. I want to cry. But I can't because I don't deserve to be crying. "Toya..." She speaks in a gentle tone, placing her palm on my cheek and turning my head to face her.
"It's going to be okay, honey. Don't take any of that to heart." She gets up from her chair and kisses my forehead. "You should head to bed now. Goodnight, Toya. I love you." She gives me a weary smile this time before taking the dishes to the kitchen.
I wait for her to close her door and glance at my phone on the couch. I pick it up and put my shoes on.
It's late, I have no idea why I'm going out at this time. It started raining again. I'm starting to hate the rain.
I stand at the door for a few moments before knocking on it. Please answer.
"I'll get it!"
"What?! Then why're you pushing me?!"
"Idiot.. Yes?-" Akito opens the door and freezes when he sees me. "Toya?"
I can't look him in the eyes. I stare at my feet as tears flow down my cheeks. It's okay. The rain can cover it up.
"You're here by yourself?" He asks, stepping out and closing the door. He'll get wet. I nod. "Are you.. crying?"
I shake my head and wipe my eyes. I just wanted to see him. He stares at me and places his hand on my shoulder.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?"
I shake my head again. I don't want to think about it again. I'm sorry you have to put up with me, Akito. I thought that.. if you made me this happy, I could make you happy, too. I'm really selfish.
Even if I was wrong, I don't want you to tell me that directly.
"... You want a hug?" He asks quietly, and I stay silent for a moment. I don't deserve a hug. Not by you. I shouldn't be.. feeling sad.
"Y-Yes." I whisper in a shaky voice, and he wraps his arms around me. I put my face in his shoulder, hugging him back tightly. "Lets go inside."
"Idiot, why did you go outsi- Wait, what the hell?!" Ena immediately turns her head to us and runs up to me. "Are you okay?! What's wrong?"
Akito takes my arm and leads me to the bathroom. He's being too kind to me. At this rate, I won't want him to leave me.
"So, Toya Aoyagi, right?" Mrs. Shinonome asks and sits next to me.
"Yeah." Akito raises an eyebrow and holds me closer to him. Just because I was crying doesn't mean we have to sit so close in front of his parents, it's embarrassing...
"Ugh, you tell your sister first and not me. I'm disappointed in you." She scoffs.
"Ahh, he's gonna start crying again! Seriously, what happened..?" Ena grabs a tissue and pats the corners of my eyes. "It's okay. You're always welcome here." She hugs me tightly.
"He had a fight with his dad, so don't pressure him into talking about it if he doesn't want to." Akito pushes her off and Mrs. Shinonome agrees, then elbows Mr. Shinonome. He gets startled and notices Akito and I sitting so close.
"Huh? Oh, uh, congratulations-..?" He claps, rubbing his eyes.
We all stare at him and Mrs. Shinonome throws her cup but he dodges it on time.
"What?!"
"You idiot! Were you sleeping again?! This is important!"
They yell at each other for a while but she eventually bursts into laughter.
"I'm sorry, Toya. Wait, so you.. said you didn't want to talk about it, right?" She asks and I nod. "Right. Well, I hope you're comfortable around us. We may yell at each other a lot, but we're still a loving family!"
"No, we're not."
"Shut up!"
"I'll go get you a snack." Ena declares and walks away.
"Ah, hold on. I need to watch what she gets." Akito gets up and kisses my head. I blush, and nod. "Ena, not everyone likes to stress eat like you-!"
It's just me and Akito's parents now. They turn to me slowly, not smiling anymore. Do they secretly hate me..?!
"Wanna see Akito's baby pictures?" She says with a blank face and takes out a huge book.
... what?
"Oh my gosh.. mom, put that away..!" Ena cries and bangs her head on the table while sitting on the ground. Her father laughs at her but she hisses and he goes quiet.
"Stop looking..!" Akito hides his face with a pillow, groaning.
"And this one is when they went to the summer festival together! Ena was so cute~! Look at Akito, he was such an adorable baby!" She squeals. She gasps and pulls out her phone. "I have a picture of them in the bath together! Although it's blurry because I had to stop since Ena thought she could push Akito's head under the water--"
"NO." Both of their heads shoot up and they try taking her phone. I let a giggle slip out, but immediately after my hands fly up to my mouth. The three of them stare at me for a while and she puts the camera facing me.
"Do that again. My son-in-law is so cute!"
"Toya, stop being so cute in front of my family..." Akito grumbles and squeezes me.
"Aww!!" Ena stops being aggressive and pinches my cheeks.
"Oh! Found the video!" Their mother smiles and before she presses play and they begin screaming, I stop her.
"I-It's okay. I.. I've.. seen enough." I smile nervously and she nods. I don't want to see anything they don't want me to. Younger Akito playing soccer was so cute... I would like to see more photos of him when I get the chance, but only the ones he's okay with me looking at.
"Toya, I think you're way out of Akito's league-" Mr. Shinonome says.
"Seriously..?" He raises an eyebrow, still embarrassed. I love Akito, so I don't mind. I look at Mrs. Shinonome, who looks like she wants to say something to me but doesn't.
"I'm going to bed." Mrs. Shinonome announces out of nowhere and hugs all of us. Why me, too..? "Goodnight!"
"Sleep and never wake up." Mr. Shinonome and Ena say at the same time. She cackles and leaves.
"I'll go too, then..." He gets up and looks hesitant to speak to Ena. ".. Goodnight."
She looks up at him for a moment and smiles slightly.
"Goodnight, dad. Don't get killed in your sleep."
His face freezes for a moment, then slowly nods and goes to the hallway. He immediately begins sobbing in Mrs. Shinonome's arms.
"Well, I'll be in my room if you need me. Goodnight, Toya! Oh, and you too, Akito." She shrugs while leaving. He rolls his eyes and faces me.
"Wanna go to my room?" He asks and I nod.
When he takes me into his room he closes the door, and throws himself on his bed. I stand there, hesitant to go with him. The last time I was here was because of my father, too...
Akito notices me being too shy to get on his bed and he pats next to him, grinning.
"Don't be shy. I won't bite." He says, and my face immediately turns bright red. What the hell, Akito!?
I slowly get closer until he grabs my arm, pulling me on top of him. He then moves me to the side, hugging me from behind.
"It's really nice to hug you..." He whispers, nuzzling his face into my neck. I'm going to die if he keeps doing this. "So.. it was your dad you said, right?"
I nod, looking down. I don't.. know if it was my fault, though. Whenever he is upset it's because of me, but I'm trying... And when my mother tries protecting me, he gets even more furious. Are my efforts to overcome this really going in vain..?
I would actually die if he found out I was dating Akito. I don't want to think about it.
"... C-Can.. Can I.. tell you about it..?" I whisper, and he pulls me closer to him.
"Sure."
I hold Akito back, trying to keep him from leaving the room.
"I'm gonna go beat his ass, Toya!" He hisses, trying to get out of my arms. He turns to me, clearly upset. "Why do you let him talk to you like that? You have to say something about this, or nothing will change..!"
I look at the ground and frown. I can't just do that so easily.. why is he getting mad on my behalf..? But.. he's right. Even though I'm not that brave enough to tell him all of that...
He stands there for a moment and sighs, ruffling my hair.
"I'm sorry. It's just.. I hate the fact you're getting hurt like this because of him. I'm glad you came to me. Let's just.. go to sleep and discuss this in the morning. Alright?" He turns off the light, climbing back into the bed and holding me.
I'm glad I came to him, too.