An Unheard Voice - Chapter 40: Chapter 40

Last month marked one year of us knowing eachother. Not like we got to do anything, since.. I wasn't there. I would have done something, at least.
This is sad.
"Stop sulking, you have practice in an hour. Eat your dinner before it gets cold." My brother opens the door and walks away. I've been depressed the whole time I was here.. I owe them an apology. It must be irritating having to deal with me.
Today is his birthday. Or, was... For me. And I'm not even near him. I really regret what I did, but it's not like I had a choice. Plus, he's still probably really pissed...
Akito is scary when he's angry.
I miss An and the others as well. I've had my phone turned off for a month now, so I'm not sure if they've texted me. I wonder how they're doing now. And my mother.. sure, Tobia and Yasunori are contacting her, but I can't bring myself to.
My father said he doesn't have a reason to be flying back to Tokyo since it's only my mother there, and he can just send money for a ticket whenever.
She must be lonely, though. And the fact he would fly back and forth just to check up on his sons is.. enough to tell me he cared about me. Right?
I know the whole point of me coming back here was to distance myself, but.. curiosity can get the best of me. I stare at my phone, hoping it will just explode then and there.
Before I manage to pick it up, my father clears his throat.
"What are you doing?" He frowns, and I immediately get up from my bed.
"I-I'm sorry." I apologize, following him down the stairs. He told me not to contact him anymore, and if I did he would take my phone away. I don't use it often, but I think he knows why I would.
I get a look of disapproval by my brothers, and grow embarrassed. I'm obviously rusty at the instruments and have to ask for so much help, so they're really disappointed in me when we're practicing together...
"Toya." My father says, and I turn to him.
"You better have him deleted before tomorrow. I'll be checking, by the way." He glares before going to his seat. Who?
Akito..?
My father went to his room immediately after eating, and sent us all back to our own.
I thank my brothers for the meal, and go back to mine. It's not like I can go anywhere else, anyway.
It's cold outside, so he practically locks me inside my room and tells my brothers to make sure I don't go out.
He says it has something to do with my hands getting cold.. plus, he knew I went out on walks back in Tokyo. I don't see how that would effect my playing. But he must be looking out for me.
But what he told me at the dinner table can't seem to get out of my head.
How heartless does he think I am..?
I finally gather the courage to pick up my phone, holding my breath. I turn it on, to find a bunch of notifications.
Why are there so many messages?! I feel so bad for not responding to Saki and Tsukasa...
I continue to stare at my phone, and decide to make one of the biggest decisions of my life.
"C-Can I.. borrow your phone for a minute..?" I peek through Tobia's door, who stares at me in confusion.
"Huh?"
"I-It's to call someone..." I mumble, lowering my head.
"Just use your own phone. You're holding it, aren't you?" He raises an eyebrow, pointing at my hand.
"Y-Yes, but..." I try to explain, but grow so embarrassed go quiet.
"Is it a girl?" He asks, and I immediately nod. Wait, what-
"I didn't know you were in a relationship. Let alone with a girl." He squints his eyes, holding out his phone. I'm sorry, Akito...
"Wait. You're not even supposed to be--" He takes it away, but Yasunori interrupts and walks in as well.
"Toya has a girlfriend?"
"Apparently." Tobia answers, crossing his arms. I can tell he's upset Yasunori suddenly barged in like that.. he doesn't like people in his room very much.
"He probably upset her and--"
"I-I lied. It's.. a boy." I cough, staring at them. They stare at me for a second before looking back at me with puzzled faces.
"Wait, so you're texting your friend then? Did you have a fight? And you're still going to contact him??" He raises an eyebrow, stretching my cheek. He isn't acting as professional as I thought he would.. well, Tobia fit my expectations at least.
He's right, though.. am I seriously going to contact him again? My father even forbid me from doing that. My cheeks are starting to hurt...
"Toya has a friend-?"
".. I like him."
Tobia chokes on nothing for a second, and Yasunori's jaw flies open. My dad already knows, so they might as well-!!
Wait, but they could easily just tell him again..
"I mean- I-I used t--"
"Tobia, what kind of influence do you have Toya under?" Yasunori points to him, and he glares at him with a flushed face.
"Excuse me?!"
"You heard me. Isn't your boyfriend in japan? You know, the rich guy."
"Do you ever shut up? Toya didn't even need to know about that!" He snarls, getting up to grab his collar. What is even going on..?
"Well, he does now. And it's.. who was it, 'Akito', right?" Yasunori turns to me, pushing Tobia away. I look away, nodding.
"I'll go get a drink." He sighs, walking out of the room, leaving Tobia and I alone. Rich guy..?
"Wait, that Akito? Father has told us about him, and the stories weren't pleasant. And aren't you supposed to stay away from him?" He pinches the bridge of his nose, unhappy. I don't.. know.
"Whatever- we don't have to tell father anything. It's not even our business. But if you want to share with us, feel free to. Okay?" He reassures me, but continues to make sure I'm comfortable.
They're not as rude to me as I thought they would be.. maybe this is a good thing. It's not like I can do this on my own, anyway.
"I-I want to.. know if you can t-tell me what.. to do. I want.. to let go of this." I stare at the ground, not being able to lift my head. I'm really afraid.
He nods, telling me to follow him to the kitchen.
Despite my stuttering and shaky voice, they seem very attentive and listen to everything I have to say. But.. I feel as if I've been more capable to talk in time span of one year.
I thought I wouldn't have been able to tell anyone about this. But sharing it.. it feels better to get it off of my chest.
And I also assumed they wouldn't like me very much. I know that we're siblings, but.. I haven't seen them in years. Only my father has. And I know he certainly isn't happy with me a lot of the time...
Considering the fact I've been standing up for myself kind of makes it seem like I've been talking back. I never apologized for that, did I..?
I owe so many people apologies now. But for most of them I no longer have that chance.
I begin to tell them about Akito and everything that has happened, about me leaving and father's reaction to us. And the fact that most of father's accusations were blatant lies...
But up until the point I tell them the reason I left Japan with my father, Tobia snaps.
"Are you serious? You gave in to classical music again just because of some stupid café?" Tobia asks. He seems to notice that I'm on the verge of tears, and backs down.
"It's not like you're good at it, either." Yasunori adds, and we both stare at him.
"Are you stupid?"
"N-Not just because of that.. the owner of the café means a lot Akito. He.. looks up to Ken.. I-I don't want to be i-involved in anything.. causing Ken trouble. Akito.. would hate me for that.. I-I don't want..." My lip quivers. Unable to finish my sentence, I clench my fists as my vision begins to get blurry.
"But judging by how he's been acting towards you," Yasunori says before Tobani interrupts him.
"I don't think he could bring himself to hate you, Toya."
"I was talking." He hisses, but Tobani simply ignores him and crosses his arms and looks to the side.
"E-Even so, I.. Akito has done so much for me. He's helped me, and.. I'm really grateful I met him.. I-I didn't want to ruin that." A tear escapes my eye as my voice cracks.
"It seems like you already have. Did you like living there better?"
".. Y-Yes. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. We may be okay with it, but that's just because we chose this life. Or rather, accepted it..." Tobia sighs,
"You shouldn't have to do things because of fear."
"I-I didn't mean to make anyone disappointed.. in me. It m-might be the only thing I'm good at..." I can't help but continue to cry, looking absolutely pathetic.
"Toya..." Tobia says, sighing.
"If only I could see you right now before saying those things to you that time."
"You and Akito both loved each other, didn't you?" Yasunori asks, leaning back in his chair.
"Y-Yes. I really did... But there's n-not much that I.. can do with these feelings now." I wipe my eyes, looking at their apologetic expressions. The day is about to end, and I still haven't wished him a happy birthday. I hope he had a good one, regardless.
My brothers stare at each other for a moment and then Tobia stands up.
"Do whatever you need to do. But go to sleep after, okay? We still have to practice." Tobia pats my shoulder, walking past me and into his room.
"Just don't let it get to you so much." Yasunori adds, leaving me alone in the kitchen with Tobia's phone.
I pick his phone, dialing in the number. This is stupid. On second thought, I'm using my own phone.
The phone rings, and my hands begin to tremble. My heart is racing... I'm so nervous. I'm technically breaking my promise to my father and myself, aren't I..?
After a few seconds, I get sent to leave a voice-mail. Huh..? Why isn't he picking up?
I try again, just for the same result. Is he busy..? He must be. I hope he is. That's fine.
"Akito..? U-Um.. hello. I-I'm sorry for calling you.. so suddenly like this.. I w-want to tie loose ends.. if that's okay. I-I know just this wouldn't make it right, but.. I hope you're.. not mad at me.. I couldn't even l-look at your face after I said those h-horrible things to you. .. I-I understand if you hate me now."
".. Happy birthday, Akito. I'm sorry."
And with that, I end the voice-mail, and do probably the stupidest thing ever-- I block his contact. I'm pathetic...
°•°•°
"So, did Li'l bro have a good birthday today or what?!" Akiyama slaps my back, and I try my best not to punch them right then and there.
"Sure, but.. I prefer pancakes over cheesecake." I mumble with the fork in my mouth.
"You seem to really like it, though." Ena smirks, and I glare at her.
I can feel something approaching me.. I turn around, but see nothing there. Why am I so paranoid today..? Whatever. This is good though--
"Happy birthday! Don't think I forgot!" An hums, grabbing the slice with her bare hand and shoving it in my face.
Everyone stays silent for a moment before I set my fork down, standing up and chasing her outside of the building.
°•°•°
After a good ten minutes I come back, grabbing a few napkins and sighing. What a waste of a perfectly good cheesecake...
"I'm going to make sure she's okay.. we can't have our hall monitor dying on us, hehe.. uh." Akiyama escapes, running out as Kohane follows. They still haven't made up, but they still look after each other. That's sweet.
"Do you need help?" Saki asks, but I decline. It got in my hair...
"Oh, Shinonome, your phone was ringing while you were gone. I thought it would be rude to answer for you..." Shiho says, handing it to me after I wipe the cake off of my face.
"Oh, thanks." I smile, but my heart drops once I see who called.
Toya..?!
Panicking, I desperately try to call back, but it says that number is unavailable. Fuck, Toya, what did you do..?! Wait. A voice-mail..?
"Are you okay?" Honami asks, growing worried. I snap out of it, smiling but still pretty shook.
"Hold on, I need to do something. I'll be back." I excuse myself, rushing out the door and standing outside with shaky hands and anxiously tapping on it.
Am I going to hear him..?