Beyond Love - Chapter 16: Chapter 16

For the longest time, Chip never really did understand just how Love stood its test. The test of time.
It seemed for some reason—foolish. A silly thought to be entertained; that only existed in the minds of children and ceased to see the light of truth that reality was cruel enough to cast.
His fragile soul wavered, as it always did every now and then since the day he was left quite alone.
The bakery was an empty place, oddly cold. Chip found this rather suiting for his cursed heart.
He was tending to the counter, staring at an ugly spot on the side of the cash register that Bill had so kindly brought over, saying that he felt safer using his old trusty model. Chip vaguely recalled it smelling of grease and cheap tires the first day he had brought it in.
"Are you alright, dear?"
Blues snapped out of the darkness and met kind eyes that belonged to an elderly woman. Her hand was resting upon what Chip assumed was her husband's arm, and she had a fair smile that strangely reminded him of pumpkin bread.
"Yes—yes I am. I'm so sorry...I-I must have spaced out. How may I help you?" He addressed her nervously, embarrassed.
"I'm glad dear. Your help would be appreciated, you see, this one over here has been craving for hot cross buns all day long," The woman laughed humbly, glancing sideways at her husband who rolled his eyes. "We know that this is the only bakery in town that sells them out of season. Ah, but we've arrived late, I see. You have packed up."
Chip followed her gaze to the empty shelves, and felt his heart warm just a little.
"Don't worry ma'am, I've kept some in the oven—they're still hot, if you don't mind leftovers," He smiled.
It was fragile.
The elderly couple seemed to react in the same manner, for both exchanged looks of pleasant surprise and the man patted his wife's hand.
"Oh look. Your luck's not run out, dear," He chuckled, voice warm with age. "Even the bakers know you're always hungry."
"You don't need me reminding who was the one who talked non-stop about Easter while you were all young and youthful. Look at you; all old and rotten," His wife prodded his arm with a gigglish smile. "We will have the hot cross buns, dear. Sorry for the trouble."
Chip shook his head quickly, moving towards the oven in the kitchen to take out the hot cross buns that seemed...to always be in the same spot.
It was foolish of him.
"Oh my, you didn't have to pack it so nicely, dear," The elderly woman received the paper bag that was sealed with a bow that was slightly singed on one of the edges.
Chip felt as though it could use a kind elderly couple as its owner. Such things that were left behind were often—forgotten.
Perhaps just like himself.
"How much would that be?" The man asked, leaning his stick against the counter and fishing out a coin pouch from his coat pocket. "With the ribbon, of course. Margaret loves ribbons."
"Yes, I like them very much. And this is called a bow, Nigel. Mind you."
Chip stood awkwardly by the side, watching the couple interact as he prepared to tell them that the hot cross buns would not cost them a single penny.
After all, those in the oven were never really...meant to be sold.
"A bow?" Nigel frowned at the paper bag with an incredulous expression. "Not quite. I don't see any arrows."
Margaret rolled her eyes, turning back to Chip with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry dear. He's quite senile."
"Quite? You mean very!" Her husband chuckled low, and both gazes resumed to the baker.
Chip didn't know what to say at all.
He felt as though the words were stuck at the back of his throat, waiting to be said or swallowed.
"I...it's nice."
He managed.
Margaret's laugh was as warm as her husband's. "What is, dear?"
"I—"
For the longest time, Chip never really did understand just how Love stood its test. The test of time.
But perhaps that was exactly how it did.
It lasted for the longest time.
Love...was not to be understood.
"I don't know."
And all of a sudden, the world was a blur and his cheeks were wet and it was hard to see the expression on the old couple's faces.
Love was to be felt; to be embraced, and above all—
"Oh dear, are you alright?"
"Was it the dust? It's always the dust Margaret, always."
"Be quiet Nigel! Dear, does it hurt anywhere?" Yes. Yes it does.
Love was to be loved.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I hate love," The girl beside us spat with a furious click of her tongue. "It's useless. All pain and nothing else—what's the use of it all?"
"Oh Jill don't say that."
I turned to Xander who sat across me, trying to telepathically communicate by worry for the girl sitting a table away. Our eyes met, and he didn't even seem to notice the heated conversation that the girls were having; merely kept his gaze on me in a strange manner. It appeared as though the meal he just had was not enough for his (huge) appetite, taking into account his gaze that resembled a very hungry wolf.
I sipped quietly on my strawberry milkshake, hoping that the girl beside would somehow calm down and make up with whoever she fought with.
"He's not worth it."
"Of course he isn't," The girl, Jill, groaned. "None of them are—men are hopeless."
"Come on Jill, being angry isn't going to solve anything. He's not worth any of your emotions at all, so don't give him that," Her other friend agreed.
"I know; I know...it's just so hard to control. I didn't think he'd ever say those kind of stuff to me, I mean...oh he's such an idiot," She sighed, pausing for a moment to bury her head in her hands. "I'm an idiot."
Her friends were quiet, one of them patting her back gently while the other dug in her bag for some tissues.
"What are you doing?" Xander's voice was far too appealing to miss, really. My gaze naturally returned to him, only to see that a toddler was reaching for something between his shoes and Xander was looking slightly...unhappy about that. Well, it wasn't abnormal.
Of course, the little boy—frightened by Xander's impassive face and low voice—recoiled from the adult and began to sob loudly in the middle of the restaurant.
I panicked.
"U-uwa don't cry! It's okay, um," I stole a quick glance under the table and noticed a simple-looking toy car behind Xander's heel. "Xan, it's his toy. Behind your shoe—"
"Oh...right," My fiancé leaned down to retrieve the toy. "Could have just told me," He said to the boy as he held out the small car. "Where's your mom?"
The toddler sniffed loudly, taking his toy and looking at me strangely. "There," He replied after rubbing his nose, pointing at the table on our far left.
A lady was approaching us as he did so, and I assumed that this person was his mother.
Xander surprised me by ruffling the boy's hair with a grin. "Go back. Don't make her worry."
"Ryan! Didn't I tell you not to disturb others?"
Ryan blinked up at Xander, seemingly confused by the kind gesture. He appeared not to hear his mother calling out for him either.
"Go, quick," Xander shooed him away, gently propelling him in the lady's direction.
"Okay," The boy said quietly, then hurriedly took refuge in his mother's arms. She gave us an apologetic smile which I returned with a tiny wave.
I felt Xander's gaze on me, so I averted my eyes a little and continued sipping my strawberry milkshake.
"What's wrong Angel?"
The girls not far away looked over curiously.
"N-Nothing."
"You're blushing," Xander teased, touching my earlobe all of a sudden and I almost jumped.
"Uwa! Don't touch my ear so suddenly...i-it's not good for the heart you know," I protested lightly, rubbing my ears which were probably really red by now.
He smirked nevertheless. "You're so sensitive."
There was a squeal of surprise from the table of girls, and her friends hurried to shush her. At present, I had my reasons for believing that they were no longer talking about Jill's love life. Embarrassed that I might get judged in this foreign country, I decided to lower my voice.
"It's just," I felt awfully fidgety about what I was going to say. "You were...really cool. Just then."
Xander laughed, leaning over the table to kiss my forehead. Taken aback, I naturally stopped sipping on my milkshake and began to choke (rather violently, you see, it wasn't a pretty sight) on the drink.
"You okay Angel?" My fiancé was still laughing, and I shot him my best glare.
"Does it—cough—look like I—cough cough—am?" I clutched my chest as Xander patted my back gently.
"No, but you look so cute when you're surprised," He shrugged casually. "I had to help myself."
"That's mean!" I said after recovering from the violent series of chokes. "A-and you can't just...you know, show your affection in public like that..."
"And why is that?" Xander leaned back and folded his arms across his chest.
"Because...because...it might...make other people uncomfortable," I searched for something better, but perhaps this was all I could really come up with. Was there any way out, really?
Will the entire world ever come to accept us?
"Because we're both men?" Xander pushed with an expression that I couldn't read.
It made me rather unsettled, but I assumed that it had something to do with the topic as well.
"Xan...not this again. You know I didn't mean it like that," I said quietly. The soft music in the restaurant seemed loud all of a sudden.
He sighed. "I know. You're so stupidly kind."
"Hey!" I protested but with a pout, sliding his glass of soda away from him and towards myself instead. "No more soda for you."
In turn, Xander only smirked—taking my strawberry milkshake which I had unfortunately left unguarded. I gasped.
"N-no!"
My fiancé laughed, and to my surprise, he was joined by the table of girls not far away.
We looked over in confusion.
"Ohmyg—shh! You're too loud!" They flashed sheepish smiles in unison and quickly turned away as if they were guilty of a crime.
"You need something?" Xander asked in an all-too-straightforward manner and to be honest, I was starting to get used to it but still!
"X-Xan...that's rude, you should speak politely!" I warned, turning to the girls with an apologetic smile. "Um, sorry about that, he's very mean."
The girl who was lamenting about her love life earlier—Jill—looked over with wide eyes, as if she could not believe we were talking to her. "Oh! Oh no, that wasn't mean at all—uh, actually. We were the ones being rude. Sorry about that."
Her friends nodded anxiously, glancing between Xander and I.
"Are you guys..." One of her friends began awkwardly, "um, together? Like that would be so cute but uh! If you're not, then that's fine but you should totally get together you know what I mean?" She swallowed her words as fast as she spoke them and it was difficult to understand at first but when it finally sunk in, I...well, I began to blush.
"U-um! We're—"
"He's my fiancé," Xander nodded, downing the rest of my strawberry milkshake while I heard my heart break into tiny little pieces of nothing. "And thanks. We are cute together."
The girl began grinning in an uncontrollable manner and she looked at her friends as though we were her favourite people in the universe. "We uh—we wanted to tell you guys...I mean, not like we have the right to but like, if you guys are together you should totally get married like now."
Jill nodded vigorously.
The poor creature in my chest was feeling more and more confused by the second.
First, Xander stole my strawberry milkshake.
Then, he finished it just when I was about to return his soda. (I-I'm not going to let him off this time!)
Soon, a nice girl said that we were a c-cute couple.
And then, she said we should get married.
Everything's escalating far too quickly!
"We are, actually," Xander replied off-handedly. "The ceremony's this afternoon. It's just...nothing big."
"You've got to be kidding me," Jill gasped in delight. "That's so cute! How long have you known each other? Is that the engagement ring? You guys don't look like you're from around here. Where you from? Did you guys come all the way here to get married? Is this like, a honeymoon or something? Ohmygosh are we interrupting? Okay just ignore me." She turned away instantly and as if on que, her friends did so too, slurping their smoothies in unison.
The quick escalation of matters left my poor heart rather disoriented. I asked Xander what was going on, and he only smiled strangely.
It wasn't the usual smirk he always had, but...
Something of quiet happiness; a contented smile.
"There are people who will accept us, Angel," He said in reply. "The world...isn't too bad."
"Well as long as you're in it," My fiancé added after kissing my forehead.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As planned, Xander and I visited a bridal boutique that had available groom suits for rental a couple of hours before the ceremony. I vaguely recalled Xander insisting that we buy the suits instead, but our limited budget said no. Feeling slightly responsible, I had searched for a bridal boutique nearby and found that they had suits for rental.
"Hello, how may I help you?" A middle-aged woman came up to us as soon as we entered the store. I glanced around nervously, blinded by the white dresses that stood out in the front of the shop.
"We're here to look for groom suits. A last minute rental to be exact," Xander specified.
The shop assistant nodded, leading the way. "That's alright. Is the ceremony soon?"
"Um, it's at four," I answered sheepishly as Xander took my hand.
"That's a fair amount of time," She laughed. "Although I am slightly worried about the cut for the suits. This young man over here should be fine but...it'll work out."
Oh, she must be referring to me.
I forgot that the majority of Americans were really tall. Especially men.
"Would you like to take a look at the matching suits first?"
"Sure."
The assistant led us to a brightly-lit corner of the shop, gesturing to the entire range of groom suits displayed. "The ones on your far right are the matching suits, and these here are arranged according to price. Once you've picked a design, I'll get out the matching ties. Oh—and of course, the fitting room is down that aisle to your left."
I turned to Xander; not know where to start.
"Let's take a look at the matching ones," He laughed, pulling me towards the right end. Naturally, I was helpless in this field. I've never worn a suit in my whole entire life. I still recall wearing jeans to Rose's wedding.
"Oh! This is a nice color," I stopped briefly, admiring a cream-colored suit that certainly did not suit me at all. D-did I just make a pun?
"Try it on?" Xander suggested, taking it off the store rack. The matching one was a grey version, which suited Xander nicely as well.
"Do you like it?"
"I like you, so by extension, I like whatever you like," My fiancé shrugged. I buried my head in my hands.
"Um, I'm pretty sure that's not how it works Xan..."
He laughed low, taking the suits and moving towards the fitting room. "Let's just try them on."
"Okie," I nodded.
Again, the fitting room took me by surprise. It was a huge platform that had a beige curtain around it, and the platform was big enough to fit at least eight people without them bumping into one another.
"I've placed a range of matching ties in the dressing room," The store assistant informed politely. "Would you like to change separately or—"
"It's fine, we'll change together. Thanks," Xander nodded casually. I rolled my eyes, prodding his elbow. Should have known.
We stepped onto the platform and the nice lady helped us draw the curtains, saying that she will be at the counter if we need any help.
I thanked her, turning to Xander to see that he was looking at me.
"W-what," I began, taking the cream-colored suit from him. "No looking, alright? Turn over there."
My fiancé rolled his eyes, smirking nonetheless.
"We're going to be married in a couple of hours, Angel. Who the hell cares if I have my Chip-fill a little earlier?"
My lips parted in shock. D-did he just say that??
"Ch...Chip-fill? Who even says that," I huffed embarrassingly, turning away from him and starting to undress.
The fitting room fell silent for a moment as we changed into the matching suits. Excited to try on my first suit, I hadn't noticed that it was a tad too big for me. After all, rental suits often came in a standard size.
I slipped on the white dress shirt, noting that the sleeves went all the way up to my fingers and knowing that this wasn't going to end well at all.
Sighing, I decided to ask if it fitted my fiancé instead.
"Xan are you—"
"The shirt's too big for you," I heard him say.
I blinked. I hadn't even turned around.
"Um, how did you—"
"There's a mirror. I can see whatever you're doing," Xander stated as though this was a 'by-the-way' tip and I felt my face burn.
"Wha? Why didn't you tell me!" I turned around to give him a good lecture when I realized he was topless and decided instantly that the latter was worse for the heart and turned back instead.
Xander laughed. "That, and I've already tried on the dress pants. It's only a little too short on the ends, so I figured that the overall size of the suit would still be too big for you. Matching suits normally come in the same size and cut for convenience, don't they?"
It was logical reasoning, I suppose. And it left me a tad bit upset.
Just when the color was perfect...
"We don't have to wear matching suits you know. We'll find something for you, don't worry," He said reassuringly, and I felt that he was closer so I turned around.
Xander looked amazing in the suit.
Well, not that I was surprised, really.
"You look...really nice in that," I said quietly. "I wish I was taller. And well, it would be nice to have broader shoulders too."
He leaned down to touch my lips with his.
"You look nice in everything, Angel," I felt his smile, "and nothing, of course, but that's another story—"
I pulled away with a glare.
"Which was also one of the reasons why I didn't tell you there was a mirror—aand also that the way you undress is really cute because, I mean, who takes off their pants first?" He laughed beside my ear and I pouted in disapproval.
"Pants are hard to take off so I take them off first! Th-there's nothing wrong with that," I protested indignantly, proceeding to put my clothes back on a wondering if there was a rental suit that actually fitted me.
"There's nothing wrong with it, just special. That's all," My fiancé teased, receiving a series of pokes in return.
*
It had been an hour since we started searching for groom suits and so far, everything (and I mean, really, everything) suited Xander either perfectly or a tad too small, but I was getting nowhere.
For some reason, I came to think that none of the suits in the boutique was small enough for my size, and that perhaps I wasn't meant to wear one at all.
"Oh dear. That's a lot of space in those pants—your legs are too slim," The assistant said apologetically. "Um, how about...this?" She pulled out yet another suit which looked similar in size.
I could tell that she was trying very hard to find something for this troublesome customer but her efforts were unfortunately going down the drain.
While she searched for my measurements on the system, Xander was checking something on his phone. I tugged at his sleeve.
"Xan, are you bored? I'm sorry...everything seems to be going wrong. I don't want us to be late for the ceremony because of something like this. A-and the poor lady...she's probably tired of trying to find a suit for me."
Xander looked up from his phone, kissing my forehead. "I'm not bored, Angel. Hell, there's nothing to complain about if I get to spend more time watching you undress—"
I pinched his cheek.
"Alright alright," He laughed, taking my hand that was on his cheek. "I just checked, and there's no dress code for the ceremony. I guess you can turn up in anything, so. You alright with that?"
I nodded quickly, smiling. "I don't mind. How about you? You looked nice in everything, is there one that you liked?"
"Hi!" The shop assistant was back with yet another suit. "Um, I found one that's slightly smaller. The...the pants might be a problem, but you can try it on first?" She suggested politely.
I went up to her, apologizing. "Thank you so much Miss. You've been in a great help—it's alright. I don't think I'll be wearing a suit. My fiancé..."
"We were thinking of coming back again. To buy a tailored one instead, and not something rented," Xander finished, and I blinked in surprise. "Do you have a name card? We'd like to contact you soon."
The assistant looked just as surprised as I was. "Oh! Sure thing, of course. Tailored ones always fit better. That way, I'm sure your husband can have a fitting suit as well!" She turned to me with a smile.
She's...she's so nice! I thought she would be angry that we weren't buying anything in the end.
"Do drop me a call when you've decided on any specific design. Requests are welcomed too, so. Take care!" She stood waving at the doorstep, as we exited the store.
Confused, and slightly warmed by her sincerity, I felt inclined to return to this country.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Xander and Chip stood outside the ceremonial hall—a little nervous, and yet, a little eager nevertheless. They exchanged a fleeting gaze that had many unspoken words; and the laughter that escaped their lips was raw in its happiness.
Undoubtedly, anyone who passed the pair would have to take a second look.
Unlike the many couples who registered before them, this particular one appeared oddly dressed.
How they had decided to come in the strangest mix of clothing evaded all common sense, and Chip found himself wondering if this was, perhaps, a silly dream.
"Um, Xan. What are we doing?"
Xander laughed. "Don't ask me."
They laughed once more, and there was a cue for them to enter the hall—just like each of them had been dreaming of, but were too embarrassed to tell the other.
The pair made their way down the aisle; Xander, slower than usual but lighter in his steps; and Chip, nervous as he was, always, but somehow, undoubtedly certain. Sure.
For all intents and purposes, Xander and Chip were sure of what they were doing. Foolish as it may sound; despite all odds, really, each were reassured by the existence of the other—found, strangely, in their hands that were locked together.
"Good afternoon, gentlemen. Mr. Xander Jaxon, and Mr. Chip Honeycutt, shall we begin?" The officiant said with a hearty smile. They nodded.
The beginning, of course, was slow as it always was. For perhaps that was the nature of all beginnings. The start, in its steep climb, was never a thing to be understood or found; and this made beginnings rather special indeed, for it resembled a spell, cast—almost like a gentle hush that cloaked the land—upon two existences that were never meant to cross.
And what of the journey?
The climb after the start—where the two had, indeed, crossed? Almost like the bread that one had received and the other, baked; for why had they been hot-cross buns after all?
And then, the slow, burning realization. One that spoke of warmth and light and led the boy to think that perhaps, for all intents and purposes, what he saw was, really, an angel after all?
Came next, the journey that was as important as the beginning itself; and as all humankind knew, that journey that was as important as its ends. Perhaps even more.
And as every journey has, there seems to be a point where we all stand—rather still—at the top of a point as though it was the place where one could see the world.
"Do you, Xander Jaxon, take Chip Honeycutt to be your husband to live together in marriage?"
The world was vast.
"Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him,"
And a human—small.
"For better or worse,"
"For richer or poorer,"
But no matter how small a human,
"In sickness and health,"
"And forsaking all others, be faithful only to him,"
How tiny their heart;
How soft their beat—
"So long as you both shall live?"
For the longest time, Chip never really did understand just how Love stood its test. The test of time.
There was no need to hear Xander's answer; or Chip's—for we all know what was said, and what would be said time and again, some ten, twenty years later.
Their hearts were a little fast; and they could both feel it in each other's hands. They stood in front of the officiant—Xander dressed in the only business suit he had left, and Chip of course, having nothing else to where, in jeans and a shirt. And because he felt the need to, he had brought along a black-checkered scarf which was now wrapped around Xander's neck, and for some silly reason, the white apron that he never seemed to leave behind wherever he went.
Xander and Chip never noticed that this was, perhaps, exactly how they looked like when they first met again after those years of pain and emptiness—but then again, they didn't need to, did they?
To the rest of the world, they simply looked like two existences
Who had come to cross
And come to Love.