Beyond the Trap of Yesterday - Chapter 36: Chapter 36
You are reading Beyond the Trap of Yesterday, Chapter 36: Chapter 36. Read more chapters of Beyond the Trap of Yesterday.
Enzo's pov
I wake up to the sound of waves crashing and Zara's little frame cuddled close to me
I look down at her and smile, she's so beautiful I can stare at her all day doing anything and not get bored, it's crazy how one person can completely change your life for the good or bad...but Zara? She changed mine for the best, she completes my family, gave me more love then I thought I could experience and showed me happiness
Yesterday she was acting a little strange, at first I thought maybe she didn't want to go on the date with me
But then at the bonfire, she told me she was just in shock at being in Hawaii after wanting to go for so long
Which is understandable...I need to remind myself she's only ever been to New York and Seattle...and those are 2 places she's lived
I have been to Hawaii a hand full of times, so to me this isn't super exciting, but what is exciting is being here with Zara and mia
The last time I was here mia was around 2 so she doesn't remember it at all, but shes gonna be 6 on June 17th so she's at an age where she can enjoy a vacation
So I'm very happy my 2 girls get to experience this
I love Zara with my whole heart and I only want to see her happy, so we're only doing what she wants...I won't push or do anything she doesn't want to do here, and of course we will do some things Mia wants. along with Ava as well since this is her gift from Matt
Normally I would just hang out at the beach house all day, go to some meetings I would have here since that would be the only reason I would come here in the past, and that would be all
But this is different, its Zara's gift so obviously we will be doing what she and Ava want to do, I also have to remind myself that this isn't work for me, it's a vacation and time to relax away from that
And I'm ready for that change
She starts shuffling in her sleep
"Good morning la Mia Regina" I whisper in her ear and kiss her temples (my queen)
"Morning Enz...holy shit were in Hawaii" she whispers
I chuckle "yeah we are..e on let's get up I'm sure you want to do a bunch of stuff here," I say getting out of bed and pulling her out, and taking her in my arms to the bathroom
I set her on the countertop and she hisses
I laugh
"It's not funny the damn countertop is cold," she says slapping my chest playfully
"Sweetheart your in pants..." I laugh
"They're super thin and airy" She exclaims
I only hum in response and just stare at how beautiful she looks
I smile, she looks so cute with anything she does, whether she's annoyed, happy, talking about something she's passionate about...she just simply beautiful
I can listen to her talk all day
She noticed me staring and laughs lightly "what?" She asks
I walk closer to her and pull her legs a to step in between them
I can see her intake a sharp breath of air when I do that and I couldn't help the chuckle that came out
I then go up to her ear and say "your just so God damn beautiful that I can't focus on anything you're saying right now"
She blushes
"Yeah right I'm a mess right now" she rolls her eyes
I grab her chin gently making sure she's looking at me
"Then I like you looking like a mess," I say kissing the top of her nose
She looks at me and I can see her mind is going somewhere else and thinking about something
Her eyes start watering "doubt it" she whispers
Why is she so insecure? Does she think I'll judge her in any way or think she doesn't look stunning without makeup and shit on?
Because with the beautiful girl sitting on the countertop right now...I see pure beauty and nothing wrong with her to be insecure about, I would marry her right now honestly she's stunning all the time to me
It's just a shame that my girl doesn't see that, I want her to feel beautiful and love herself, and I'll try with all my power to help her see just how very beautiful she is
"Zara...I'll say this to you over and over until you get it in your head, your absolutely stunning you hear me? I don't give a shit about things you might think are imperfections, or if you think you look like a mess in the morning, I don't think that I only see beauty, and don't think I don't notice how you hide your body each time you quickly change from your top to my hoodie...I notice it sweetheart
And it breaks my heart that you think you are anything less than absolutely beautiful, and you are to me your the most stunning girl I have ever laid my eyes on, I don't need you feeling insecure around me I only see you as perfect and nothing and I mean NOTHING can change that...you got that Zara?" I tell her
I wipe the tears on her cheeks before cupping her face with my hands
"I don't know why your insecure but I want you to know you don't need to be with me, I won't judge you and make you feel anything less then beautiful, because to me sweetheart your perfect, I wouldn't want to change anything about you"
"I really wish you could just see how perfect you really are, they way you look right now, you look like a beautiful Angel" i whisper
"I need you to say your beautiful...and truly mean it, Zara," I tell her
It genuinely upsets me that she doesn't see her beauty, the girl is perfect and no amount of things she sees as imperfections and shit will change that
"Please sweetheart I need you to say it" I sigh
"I can't" she whispers
"Why not? Do you not think you're beautiful, do I need to perhaps buy you some glasses to better you vision" I ask
She laughs a little "no my vision is fine"
"Then I want you to say it and mean it Zara, I need to know you think your beautiful" I say caressing her cheek
She closes her eyes as tears flow down her cheeks, she takes a deep breath before whispering "I'm beautiful"
My heart shatters because at this moment I know she doesn't mean it, I can hear it in her voice, but I won't push her right now but I will make sure she knows how beautiful she is no matter how long it takes
So I kiss her eyelids while there closed and whisper back "yes you are, don't ever say or think you're not because you very much are" I say kissing her forehead
I want to scream out that I love her but I feel like her crying in the bathroom and being insecure isn't the right time to confess my love for her
After a little while of her just laying her against my chest taking deal breaths she looks up at me through her tear filled eyes
She hugs me tightly "you're amazing Enzo you know that?" She whispers her voice cracking
And it breaks my heart hearing her sound so upset
"You are the amazing one," I say
Because she is
She laughs lightly "fine then we're both amazing," she says wiping her tears away
"Fine then" I laugh
She looks me in the eyes "thank you Enzo, your the best person I've met apart from Ava in my life that I can confidently say is so important to me that I don't know what I would do if I lost you " she says her voice slightly cracking at the end
This girl really is just trying to make me cry this morning, isn't she?
I cup her cheeks "I'll never leave you I can promise you that much Zara, and you are also the most important person in my life apart from my daughter and if I lose you I will lose myself since you've already stolen something important to me" I say screw it all I will tell her a tiny bit how deep my feelings for her are
"Stole what" she whispers
I take her hand and put it over my heart and say "that"
She gasps so quietly that most wouldn't hear it but I do I always hear her, I always notice her, she is too beautiful and captivating to ignore
She starts tearing up and hugs me then says something I'll never forget
"And you've stolen mine" she whispers
I love you. I say in my mind
I hug her tightly and kiss her temple
We stay that way for a while with me stroking her hair, and her crying and I let her cry it out, I'm not sure she's telling the whole story on why she's crying but I won't push it today, I let her cry and make sure she knows I'm here for her
After she's calmed down I decided to talk again
"Brush your teeth and get ready for the day, we need to get everything you want to do in a week done, and that officially starts today " I smile
"You want to do everything on my list?" She says smiling
"Of course...why wouldn't we," I say confused
"I don't know it's just there's a lot and I don't want you getting annoyed for a whole week" she sighs
How can this girl think her being happy will annoy me
"You being happy and having a good time here will not annoy me TRUST me Zara" I smile kissing her cheek
She kisses mine back and whispers a thank you
I wake up to the sound of waves crashing and Zara's little frame cuddled close to me
I look down at her and smile, she's so beautiful I can stare at her all day doing anything and not get bored, it's crazy how one person can completely change your life for the good or bad...but Zara? She changed mine for the best, she completes my family, gave me more love then I thought I could experience and showed me happiness
Yesterday she was acting a little strange, at first I thought maybe she didn't want to go on the date with me
But then at the bonfire, she told me she was just in shock at being in Hawaii after wanting to go for so long
Which is understandable...I need to remind myself she's only ever been to New York and Seattle...and those are 2 places she's lived
I have been to Hawaii a hand full of times, so to me this isn't super exciting, but what is exciting is being here with Zara and mia
The last time I was here mia was around 2 so she doesn't remember it at all, but shes gonna be 6 on June 17th so she's at an age where she can enjoy a vacation
So I'm very happy my 2 girls get to experience this
I love Zara with my whole heart and I only want to see her happy, so we're only doing what she wants...I won't push or do anything she doesn't want to do here, and of course we will do some things Mia wants. along with Ava as well since this is her gift from Matt
Normally I would just hang out at the beach house all day, go to some meetings I would have here since that would be the only reason I would come here in the past, and that would be all
But this is different, its Zara's gift so obviously we will be doing what she and Ava want to do, I also have to remind myself that this isn't work for me, it's a vacation and time to relax away from that
And I'm ready for that change
She starts shuffling in her sleep
"Good morning la Mia Regina" I whisper in her ear and kiss her temples (my queen)
"Morning Enz...holy shit were in Hawaii" she whispers
I chuckle "yeah we are..e on let's get up I'm sure you want to do a bunch of stuff here," I say getting out of bed and pulling her out, and taking her in my arms to the bathroom
I set her on the countertop and she hisses
I laugh
"It's not funny the damn countertop is cold," she says slapping my chest playfully
"Sweetheart your in pants..." I laugh
"They're super thin and airy" She exclaims
I only hum in response and just stare at how beautiful she looks
I smile, she looks so cute with anything she does, whether she's annoyed, happy, talking about something she's passionate about...she just simply beautiful
I can listen to her talk all day
She noticed me staring and laughs lightly "what?" She asks
I walk closer to her and pull her legs a to step in between them
I can see her intake a sharp breath of air when I do that and I couldn't help the chuckle that came out
I then go up to her ear and say "your just so God damn beautiful that I can't focus on anything you're saying right now"
She blushes
"Yeah right I'm a mess right now" she rolls her eyes
I grab her chin gently making sure she's looking at me
"Then I like you looking like a mess," I say kissing the top of her nose
She looks at me and I can see her mind is going somewhere else and thinking about something
Her eyes start watering "doubt it" she whispers
Why is she so insecure? Does she think I'll judge her in any way or think she doesn't look stunning without makeup and shit on?
Because with the beautiful girl sitting on the countertop right now...I see pure beauty and nothing wrong with her to be insecure about, I would marry her right now honestly she's stunning all the time to me
It's just a shame that my girl doesn't see that, I want her to feel beautiful and love herself, and I'll try with all my power to help her see just how very beautiful she is
"Zara...I'll say this to you over and over until you get it in your head, your absolutely stunning you hear me? I don't give a shit about things you might think are imperfections, or if you think you look like a mess in the morning, I don't think that I only see beauty, and don't think I don't notice how you hide your body each time you quickly change from your top to my hoodie...I notice it sweetheart
And it breaks my heart that you think you are anything less than absolutely beautiful, and you are to me your the most stunning girl I have ever laid my eyes on, I don't need you feeling insecure around me I only see you as perfect and nothing and I mean NOTHING can change that...you got that Zara?" I tell her
I wipe the tears on her cheeks before cupping her face with my hands
"I don't know why your insecure but I want you to know you don't need to be with me, I won't judge you and make you feel anything less then beautiful, because to me sweetheart your perfect, I wouldn't want to change anything about you"
"I really wish you could just see how perfect you really are, they way you look right now, you look like a beautiful Angel" i whisper
"I need you to say your beautiful...and truly mean it, Zara," I tell her
It genuinely upsets me that she doesn't see her beauty, the girl is perfect and no amount of things she sees as imperfections and shit will change that
"Please sweetheart I need you to say it" I sigh
"I can't" she whispers
"Why not? Do you not think you're beautiful, do I need to perhaps buy you some glasses to better you vision" I ask
She laughs a little "no my vision is fine"
"Then I want you to say it and mean it Zara, I need to know you think your beautiful" I say caressing her cheek
She closes her eyes as tears flow down her cheeks, she takes a deep breath before whispering "I'm beautiful"
My heart shatters because at this moment I know she doesn't mean it, I can hear it in her voice, but I won't push her right now but I will make sure she knows how beautiful she is no matter how long it takes
So I kiss her eyelids while there closed and whisper back "yes you are, don't ever say or think you're not because you very much are" I say kissing her forehead
I want to scream out that I love her but I feel like her crying in the bathroom and being insecure isn't the right time to confess my love for her
After a little while of her just laying her against my chest taking deal breaths she looks up at me through her tear filled eyes
She hugs me tightly "you're amazing Enzo you know that?" She whispers her voice cracking
And it breaks my heart hearing her sound so upset
"You are the amazing one," I say
Because she is
She laughs lightly "fine then we're both amazing," she says wiping her tears away
"Fine then" I laugh
She looks me in the eyes "thank you Enzo, your the best person I've met apart from Ava in my life that I can confidently say is so important to me that I don't know what I would do if I lost you " she says her voice slightly cracking at the end
This girl really is just trying to make me cry this morning, isn't she?
I cup her cheeks "I'll never leave you I can promise you that much Zara, and you are also the most important person in my life apart from my daughter and if I lose you I will lose myself since you've already stolen something important to me" I say screw it all I will tell her a tiny bit how deep my feelings for her are
"Stole what" she whispers
I take her hand and put it over my heart and say "that"
She gasps so quietly that most wouldn't hear it but I do I always hear her, I always notice her, she is too beautiful and captivating to ignore
She starts tearing up and hugs me then says something I'll never forget
"And you've stolen mine" she whispers
I love you. I say in my mind
I hug her tightly and kiss her temple
We stay that way for a while with me stroking her hair, and her crying and I let her cry it out, I'm not sure she's telling the whole story on why she's crying but I won't push it today, I let her cry and make sure she knows I'm here for her
After she's calmed down I decided to talk again
"Brush your teeth and get ready for the day, we need to get everything you want to do in a week done, and that officially starts today " I smile
"You want to do everything on my list?" She says smiling
"Of course...why wouldn't we," I say confused
"I don't know it's just there's a lot and I don't want you getting annoyed for a whole week" she sighs
How can this girl think her being happy will annoy me
"You being happy and having a good time here will not annoy me TRUST me Zara" I smile kissing her cheek
She kisses mine back and whispers a thank you
End of Beyond the Trap of Yesterday Chapter 36. Continue reading Chapter 37 or return to Beyond the Trap of Yesterday book page.