Billionaire Lawyer's Secretary - Chapter 169: Chapter 169

"Elara, I've loved you for much longer than you've ever loved me," Alex said.
Elara's heart twisted painfully. "Don't say it, Alex. Please, I'm begging you, just don't." She already felt suffocated. She didn't want to think about anything else that would break her heart.
"Elara, you're the one who saved me. I'm the one who's always been running after you."
He grew up in a single-parent home, living with his dad. When he turned sixteen, his mom remarried. She told him, "Alex, I have a new family now. Don't come to me again. I have my child with him now."
He drifted past Elara's house, lost and empty, and heard her parents arguing inside. With tired eyes, Alex glanced over and saw twelve-year-old Elara squatting under the sycamore tree in her yard.
Her big, clear eyes met him. She was biting on a lollipop, giving him a goofy little smile. "My parents are fighting again. Sorry you had to see this, Alex."
Alex stood there, unmoving, as Elara got up and ran over to him. In her childish voice, she asked, "Have you cried too, Alex?" Her eyes were red at the corners—she'd clearly just been crying too.
"You cried too," Elara pointed out.
She looked a little embarrassed and mumbled, "It's not a big deal for girls to cry, but you're supposed to be the tough guy."
"So, guys aren't allowed to cry?" he asked.
"When I cry, my parents just feel sorry for me. But if you cry, do your parents feel sorry for you too?"
Alex shook his head, a bitter smile on his face.
"Well, you look pretty sad. I'm feeling down too, but when I cry, my dad feels bad for me. I guess I'm just a tiny bit luckier than you."
"Yeah," Alex replied halfheartedly, as if he knew she was just being naively optimistic.
"Hey, want some candy?"
"No."
But Elara still pulled out the last lollipop from her pocket and handed it to him. "Don't cry. If your parents don't feel sorry for you, then let me share a little of my care with you.
"Hey, girls cry just to get people to feel sorry for them, but guys can't do that. So, you're not allowed to cry anymore, okay?"
Alex took the strawberry-flavored lollipop. "So, guys aren't allowed to vent at all?"
"Guys should just punch stuff if they want to let it out."
"Who told you that nonsense?"
"Julian told me. That's why he's always got bruises all over his face, but he never cries. He says that's what makes him tough—like a real man," she explained. Alex unwrapped the pink wrapper and popped the lollipop into his mouth.
"Alex, my mom says you're super smart and that I should learn from you. Can you help me with my homework from now on?
"If I get better grades, maybe my parents will love me more. And in exchange, I'll share even more of my care with you."
After that, Alex somehow ended up with a little follower by his side. That follower brought along two more friends, and before he knew it, he had three little followers following him everywhere.
He realized that each of these three had their hardships, but they were still so pure and kind. The four of them were all kids from broken homes in the neighborhood.
He was helping them heal, and at the same time, those three little ones were healing him too. But from beginning to end, Elara was always the one who stood out to him—the one who was special in his eyes.
"Elara, do you think I wasn't tormented when you were overseas? You've always been such a thrill-seeker, and there were always so many amazing men around you.
"Do you think I wasn't scared? I was hurt too, trying to get Ms. Langton to support us. She's your mother, and I—"
Elara cut him off. "Alex, no matter how many men were around me, have I ever wavered in my feelings for you? Have I ever gotten close to anyone else?
"Whenever I had any free time, my world revolved around you. What do you have to be so upset about?"
"Elara, if we both have feelings for each other, then why can't we be together?"
"Alex, are you crazy? You have a family now!"
"Adrian has started working on my dad's case. Soon, my dad will be cleared of all charges, and then I'll finally be able to get a divorce—"
"I slept with Adrian," Elara cut in.
"I don't care. As long as it's you, I want you—no matter what."
"Alex, do I have to spell it out for you? What I have with him is real."
Alex let out a bitter laugh. "You and him? There's no way it'll work out. He can't get out of the Heaton family marriage.
"Even if he does, he might not even live long enough to marry you. He's either going to be the future heir of Hartley Group, or he'll end up dead because of Sadie."
Elara shook her head. "That doesn't matter to me. All I know is that I'm happy with him right now. I just want to enjoy what we have in the moment." As for everything else, she trusted Adrian would figure it out.
"Why? Why is it okay for him to have an engagement, but it's not okay if I get a divorce for you?"
Elara was at a loss for words.
"Elara, leave Adrian and wait for me, please. Marrying Nancy was never what I wanted. When all this is over, we can still be together."
"Alex, we can't go back. Just let it go. If you'd just told me how you felt, I would've snuck around behind my mom's back and dated you anyway. At least then, those four years in college would've been happy for me.
"But you didn't. You chose to listen to my mom, to respect her as an elder, and in the end, you chose to let me hurt. My mom has bipolar disorder.
"You did everything to make things easier for her, but what about me? Was I just supposed to suck it up and take it?
"It's not easy being a saint. If you want to be everyone's saint, that's your business. But I don't need a saint for a boyfriend—I just want someone whose whole heart is mine.
"Because ever since I was a kid, I've never been anyone's favorite, never anyone's first choice—not even yours. You say you love me, but what about the choices you've made?
"In college, you listened to my mom. After graduation, you picked your dad. Every single one of those choices hurt me. So, when am I ever going to be your first choice?
"I know it's not your fault, but it's not mine either. So, stop making me carry all this. I'm done. I can't take it anymore. Alex, you're a good guy, but you're good to everyone.
"Sure, marrying someone like you—someone who's steady, kind, gentle, and can cook—would make me happy. But now I finally understand: love is something we both create, not just one person relying on the other. We're just not a good match."
Alex asked, "And Adrian is different?"
"Yes," Elara replied without hesitation. "Adrian may be rich and powerful, but he's never made me feel like I have to depend on him. Instead, he always puts me first and encourages me to be myself.
"He gives me the kind of love I've always wanted—a love that's selfish, possessive, and makes me feel like I'm the only one that matters. Love should be selfish and unreasonable.
"It should be one of a kind, not just one of two logical choices after weighing all the pros and cons. Alex, if I can never be your only choice, then don't expect me to always put you first.
"But one thing will never change: you're my brother, not by blood, but in every other way. And from now on, that's all you'll ever be to me.
"I have no regrets about you. Before I let you go, I gave you everything I had. I did right by you, and now I need to do right by Adrian.
"Remember? When my mom told you that maybe you loved me just because you treated me as your family, you hesitated, right? But did you ever stop to think—does it even matter if it was family or romantic love between us?
"I gave up all my hobbies for you. I even lost who I was. Did you think I could just fall for someone else back then? No, the truth is, you just never trusted me, Alex.
"Love can fade, but what we have—the bond of family—is the most precious thing. Even after everything, even after all the pain, you're still one of the most important people in my life. I can't hate you, Alex.
"It's just that now, my heart belongs to someone else. I've fallen for Adrian."