Bird of a Flock (Bow 2) - Chapter 16: Chapter 16

It was with great exhaustion that Eyeri collapsed onto 'his' bed that evening. It wasn't particularly late but one day in Navat and he wanted to sleep for the rest of time. He couldn't help but wonder why more people hadn't left the city when the chance came. It was a nightmare out there. He had been poked and prodded by so many people, he had lost track. Some of them had been innocent, others clearly had not by the looks in their eyes. Hungry predators, Masters looking for a fresh piece of meat to break in and tame. Only, Eyeri was not for sale. Tai'ray had made that very clear.
Twisting over, Eyeri shifted the pillows so he was hugging on and closed his eyes. His mind taking him back to breakfast that morning and what Tai'ray had told him. The Winglord had been stern but kind, it still didn't really make Eyeri trust the man. Tai'ray was going to brand him. A brand was a brand, simple as that. Some of the other things though.
Eyeri's grip tightened on the pillow in his arms.
Truth aside, there were a few things Eyeri knew to be true. He was Ryraso's son. Not by blood but Ryraso had made it perfectly clear that Eyeri came above almost everything. Certainly the relationship with the Royals. Tai'ray was obsessed with Ryraso. The Winglord had already adopted one son for Ryraso, it would not be hard for him to protect Eyeri. So as long as Tai'ray wanted Ryraso, Eyeri was safe.
In the meantime, Eyeri needed to continue to encourage the Royals to be fond of him. They were certainly trying to make him like them, which only helped. Nel'os had responded well today when Eyeri had used his courtesan training. The fact he had been trained as such was enough to give him fresh nightmares about what may have happened if his brother hadn't saved him from the slavers but it did come in handy sometimes. Act meek and shy but with enough teasing and soft flirting to endear yourself to your master. Nel'os had protected him all day and had beamed at him through most of it too.
He could do this. He could make them love him.
"Eyeri?" a voice called softly. The type of voice used when a person wasn't sure if someone was awake or asleep and didn't want to wake them if it was the latter.
"Da?" Eyeri said sleepily, blinking his eyes open. He was surprised by how dark the room had become. He must have dozed off in his thoughts, he mused softly, sitting up and looking over at Ryraso.
"Tired?" Ryraso smiled fondly. He pressed something and the room lit up with a low blue light from some vines on the ceiling. "It's been a long day," Ryraso commented, looking in desperate need of a good night sleep himself. There were heavy black marks under his eyes, and his shoulders were slumped slightly. The man was also carrying a bundle of fabric which he placed on the side as he walked over to the bed.
"It has," Eyeri agreed, curling his knees up to his chest, eyes looking up at the blue lights. He really needed to learn more about the way things worked here. "Is it always like this?"
"I'd be lying if I said no," Ryraso admitted fondly.
"How can you stand it?" Eyeri asked, looking bewildered by Ryraso's fond tone. "It's chaos out there!"
"Once you learn how to ride the flow of things, it gets easier," Ryraso chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Took me a few months to get used to it. It's why my clinic was not in the palace despite being the Royal Physician.  I didn't want to work here. The rest of Navat is just like any other big city," Ryraso explained. "It's just the palace which is a minefield."
Eyeri groaned and leant forward so his forehead was touching his knees. That didn't help him much. It was the palace he was going to be living in. Plus he had never lived in a big city so he had no idea how a big city actually was.
"Things are really not that bad," Ryraso promised. "The healing circle have reinstated my right to work here and have offered to put you in the apprentice programme if you wish. So there is that."
"What is the apprentice programme?" Eyeri asked, his body suddenly going cold. He knew what an apprentice was, he was Ryraso's but what was a programme?
"It's a training programme. A good one too. You would study under various doctors and healers for three months at a time. You can learn a lot of knowledge and different skills here," Ryraso said sounding almost excited for Eyeri. The sound didn't match up with Eyeri's own feelings however and his heart dropped at the information.
"You don't want me anymore?" The words fell out of Eyeri's mouth before he could stop them and almost instantly regretted them.
"What?" Ryraso asked confused, frowning deeply at how Eyeri could think that from his words. "Of course I still want you. Where did that come from?" he demanded, shifting so he was closer to Eyeri. "Look at me," he added seriously, wanting to see Eyeri's face.
Eyeri tried to shift away but Ryraso wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. It took Eyeri a moment but he looked up nervously at Ryraso. Dark feelings were bubbling in his chest, feeling he knew Ryraso was about to deny but that didn't stop how they made him feel. Ryraso didn't want to teach him anymore. He wasn't as safe as he had previously assumed. Ryraso was going to abandon him here.
"What are you thinking?" Ryraso asked with enough force in his voice to make it clear he wanted an answer, cupping Eyeri's face softly.
"You don't want to teach me anymore," Eyeri breathed, trying to put something other than fear and sadness into his voice. It only made him sound like an angry 12-year-old but the tears threatening to fall weren't to be mistaken. Ryraso didn't want him anymore.
"No," Ryraso said firmly. "I want to you to be able to learn more skills than I can teach you. You cannot learn to heal from just one teacher Eyeri. I would still be your main mentor, just like Umin was for me. You could just spend some time with other people."
"Maybe I don't want to be a healer anymore," Eyeri said, unable to stop himself again. It was fast getting out of his control and he had the bizarre feeling of watching the scene helplessly like it wasn't really him. It was almost like he was watching the scene through a mirror. He was there, but he couldn't do anything.
"That so?" Ryraso said in a distinctly careful tone. "Can I ask why?" Eyeri looked away from him, but Ryraso's hand pulled his face back. "Why, Eyeri?" Ryraso asked again seriously, meeting his eyes directly.
Eyeri wanted to say that he was lying. He still very much wanted to be a healer. He just didn't want to learn from other people. He wanted to learn from Ryraso. If Ryraso was no longer his mentor, would Ryraso still want Eyeri to be his son? Yet what actually came out of his mouth was, "If I can no longer help my brothers, what is the point?"
Ryraso's face was painfully neutral and Eyeri waited for an answer tensely, his heart beating loudly in his ears. "If that was the only reason you wanted to be a healer in the first place, you shouldn't be," Ryraso said almost coldly. Eyeri gave Ryraso a shocked look but Ryraso didn't flinch away. "I think you need to do some thinking," Ryraso continued, his words starting to feel like verbal daggers to Eyeri's heart. "This profession is not for the weak-willed."
"Ryraso..." Eyeri caught his hand as Ryraso stood up to leave. Ryraso looked back at him before his eyes softened and he leant down to catch Eyeri in a crushingly tight hug. "Don't look like that sweetheart. Apprentice or not, healer or not, you are still mine," Ryraso promised into Eyeri's hair. "I'm not leaving you alone."
Somehow those were the words that broke Eyeri's control and he started to sob. Ryraso shifted so they were lying on the bed and let Eyeri cling to him as long as he needed, the teenager hiding his face in Ryraso's chest. Ryraso rubbed his back and hummed a gentle song, letting Eyeri take what comfort he needed, trying not to think about what Eyeri had said. He was a fool not to have considered Eyeri might think he was rejecting him somehow.
It was an hour or so later when Tai'ray appeared at the door. The Winglord's eyes were soft as he looked at the two of them. Eyeri didn't move, he was still awake but now resting on Ryraso. Eyeri's grip on Ryraso's shirt was still very tight and he was curled up more on Ryraso's chest than on the bed. "Is he ok?" Tai'ray asked, moving over to stand at the end of the bed, reaching over to rub Eyeri's back gently. It took Ryraso a moment to realise that Tai'ray was speaking in k'nairi.
"He's ..." Ryraso trailed off, letting memories of the interaction bubble to the surface. The moment Eyeri had said he didn't want to be a healer anymore cycling in his mind. Eyeri had looked like someone had a knife to his throat. Tai'ray smiled grimly and shifted to kiss Ryraso on the lips, sitting on the bed. Ryraso let him, not wanting to disturb Eyeri by moving away.
"He's a teenager," Tai'ray commented in a way which was obviously supposed to be reassuring and yet at the same time confused Ryraso immensely.
"He's not a normal teenager," Ryraso argued, but reached and tangled his  fingers with Tai'ray's "Normal standards shouldn't be applied." He had heard that teenagers were resilient one too many times today. Yes, they were but that didn't change what Eyeri was going through at the moment and the fact he needed support at the moment. He had really stepped in it by suggesting Eyeri enrol in the programme. The boy was now even more scared that Ryraso was going to abandon him.
"I'm not so sure. He may not be healed from the damage done but he's not a shadow," Tai'ray pointed out squeezing Ryraso's hand. "He's going to have normal emotions and teenage hormones. He didn't exactly react normally after all.
"How so?" Ryraso asked softly, looking at Tai'ray.
"He didn't storm out of the room," Tai'ray smiled sadly, bringing Ryraso's hand up to kiss Ryraso's knuckles. Ryraso blinked and nodded, his jaw tightening. In some ways, it was better that Eyeri was not a normal teenage boy. "Come on, Eyeri," Tai'ray said gently. "We are sleeping in the common area tonight."
"How come?" Eyeri asked sounding sleepy, lifting his head from Ryraso's chest.
"Ryraso's bed isn't big enough for us all to sleep," Tai'ray explained calmly. "And you and Aw'endo aren't technically  meant to sleep in the main royal nest." That fact was entirely true but Ryraso knew that Aw'endo had snuck in a few times as a hatchling. Both Eyeri and Aw'endo were too old now for breaking that rule. Still, the bigger reason was Ryraso himself. The Royal Triad had obviously clocked on that Ryraso was worried about sleeping there. Ryraso doubted they understood why as Ryraso didn't yet but it was kind that they weren't going to push the issue. "Is that OK, Ryraso?" Tai'ray asked, squeezing his hand again.
"Of course, sounds like a wonderful idea," Ryraso said trying to keep his voice cheerful.
"Ryraso?" Tai'ray asked carefully.
"It's nothing, Tai'ray," Ryraso smiled, patting Tai'ray's hand and opening his mind to Tai'ray so he could feel that Ryraso wasn't feeling bad. Slightly embarrassed but not actually bad. Tai'ray smiled and kissed Ryraso on the lips again, this time kissing a little deeper.
"We love you," Tai'ray sent through the link with all of his love. Ryraso heard and felt Nel'os and Dyn'ad send their own love through the link too and smiled as it surrounded him. It was like a warm blanket, safe and comforting.  Ryraso hugged Eyeri close as he felt at peace for a few moments.
"I love you too," Ryraso acknowledged in the warmth, sitting up with Eyeri. The teenager had been silent throughout the conversation, his blue eyes watching curiously, likely knowing that Tai'ray was talking to Ryraso through the link. He sat with Ryraso and cuddled back, his limbs folding around him awkwardly. Ryraso had no idea how Eyeri was going to be tomorrow after reacting in such a way tonight.
"Boy needs some reassurance," Dyn'ad mused, his arms opened wide for Eyeri as they entered the common room. Dyn'ad was laying on some cushions, Aw'endo cuddled in behind him. Dyn'ad seemed to be radiating safety to the children in the nest as Eyeri quickly fell into Dyn'ad arms and held on to him tight. The rest was big enough for them all comfortably. The space had clearly been planned out so the residents of the wing could sleep in a nest together if they wished to.
"Both of them do," Ryraso nodded, not missing the cloud of unhappiness around Aw'endo, even with the boy hidden in Dyn'ad wings. One day back in Navat and whatever had been upsetting Aw'endo so much was clearly resurfacing. "Can we go out tomorrow? Maybe visit my mentor's grave. Let Eyeri see the normal city of Navat?" he asked, sliding down next to Eyeri and Dyn'ad.
Eyeri shifted, looking uncertain about something for a moment. Dyn'ad took his next actions out of his hands and shifted Eyeri so he was cuddling Ryraso again. Dyn'ad still behind him. Eyeri settled quickly and held on to Ryraso's shirt again.
"Not tomorrow. Maybe on the weekend," Tai'ray murmured as he poked Aw'endo out of behind Dyn'ad and so he was cuddling Ryraso too. Aw'endo did this with the grace of a noble but the image soon faded as he held onto Ryraso with the same intensity as Eyeri. Ryraso kissed his forehead firmly and watched as Nel'os crawled above them curling around the top of the nest. Tai'ray curled behind Aw'endo, making him the centre of the nest and slowly they all fell to sleep.