Bird of a Flock (Bow 2) - Chapter 37: Chapter 37

Nel'os was cuddly. Eyeri didn't mind too much that night;  in fact, he rather appreciated it. It kept his mind from the bars which surrounded him. Nel'os curled around him and his white wings blocked the view of the cage. Eyeri shivered and curled his hands in Nel'os' sleeping top and held on, trying not to think too hard on the fact he was trembling. He didn't want to fall to sleep. He didn't want to dream. He didn't want to think about the guilt in his chest or the shame running through his mind.
Guilt that he had failed to escape and he now had endangered his brother. The shame being that not only had he failed to escape, he didn't mind too much. It wasn't like before. Eyeri wasn't sure how to feel anymore. He just felt numb inside, his chest hollowed out and yet when emotions did hit, they seemed to slam into him and make his eyes water.
Feathers moved over him and arms tightened for a moment as Eyeri shifted closer, hiding his face in Nel'os. Surrounded by the k'nairi's scent as much as anything else. The Royals had opened their arms to him, that much was clear to him now. The threat to his life,  the kidnapping, the brand, to the Royals these were simply things that had happened. Even if they did want a slave, they wanted him whole. There were far worse ways to spend a life than in service to the Royals.
Eyeri drifted in and out of sleep until eventually it was twilight and yellow eyes met his own. Nel'os kissed his forehead and sat up, patting the pillow and gesturing for Eyeri to do the same. Slowly, he did so, Nel'os pulling him close to his side and wrapping an arm around his shoulders tightly.
A spark of something shifted in the room and vines moved on the wall opposite them. A window appearing, almost blooming the way the vines shifted. It was of the gardens, but also of the eastern side of the castle. The sun was rising and for a few simple moments, the two sat and watched the sun rise over the forest city. Reds and oranges coloured the clouds as it did so and the dim, gloomy shadows faded lightly. The morning light glinted off the golden cage bars and birds took flight in the distance.
Nel'os said no words, but he started to sing gently. A song in k'nairi that in the moment of beauty they were witnessing, seemed to sooth something in Eyeri's soul. Slowly the reds and oranges faded into a light blue and the sun shifted up. Eyeri closed his eyes and listened to Nel'os sing, unwittingly slipping back to sleep and this time into a much more restful slumber. Nel'os gently tucked him in and closed the windows again, so the light wouldn't wake the teenager up, looking sadly at the child. He kept singing until he could no longer remember the words he had been taught a lifetime ago.
A while later, Eyeri woke up slowly. This time, he was alone but the window was open again. Not completely like when they had been watching the sunrise, but open. The sky was a deep blue and Eyeri could tell it was considerably later than the first time he had woken up. His chest still felt hollow but his shoulders felt lighter and he looked around the room he was in.
The cage door was open. Eyeri swallowed. Slowly, he crawled over, eyes on the doors to the room. That door was also slightly open and he wasn't sure if the cage had been left open by accident or as an invitation. He couldn't afford to anger the Winglord much more at the moment. Every bit of mercy was needed now. Eyeri's plan for making the man love him had well and truly failed. Eyeri curled his knees to his chest and waited for a few moments, hoping for a sign when he heard noises beyond the sanctum door.
Carefully, he let himself drop out of the cage. The drop was no bigger than the normal one from a human style bed to the ground but he was trying to be careful not to be heard. The floor was cold beneath his bare feet as Eyeri crept towards the door and listened carefully.
"Is Eyeri awake?" Dyn'ad asked in human tongue gently.
"Not yet. I don't think he slept much at all last night," Nel'os said sympathetically. "He didn't have any visible nightmares but we already know he sometimes keeps them to himself," he sighed. "He doesn't need to be awake until the feast."
"Nel..." Dyn'ad coaxed. "We need to prepare him for what is going to happen today and make it clear we don't think any less of him for trying to leave."
"No, Dyn'ad. He's terrified at the moment. Parading him about in front of nobles who will all be looking to get their claws in him will not help. Tai'ray is a fool if he thinks it is,"  Nel'os said bitterly. "The fact Tai is speeding this up is bad enough." Eyeri winced and found himself clutching the material of his top by his chest. His fears had been confirmed. His branding had been moved to that day. Eyeri... almost felt relieved by that. "Anyway, Eyeri won't believe that Dyn. No more than Ryraso will believe we love him for being himself and not because Tai'ray loves him."
Eyeri did a double take at the door. He, he didn't think Ryraso doubted Nel'os and Dyn'ad loved him. Then again, he hadn't really had time to talk to his mentor and father about it. He had been too busy yelling he didn't want to be a healer anymore to Ryraso. Shame ran through him again as that memory washed over him. Eyeri slid down to the ground and sat with his back against the wall as Dyn'ad reassured Nel'os that Ryraso knew they loved him.
He'd endangered his brother, and hurt his father. Even if Ryraso promised Eyeri would always be his son, Eyeri knew those words were going to haunt him now. Said in anger and fear, Ryraso would always know there was a doubt in Eyeri's mind about his path. Ryraso had been right too in saying that being a healer was not for someone just trying protect their own family. Still, Eyeri hadn't just counted his brothers and Ryraso as his family. Everyone on that ship had meant something to him and he had wanted to protect them all.
"Tai knows if the nobles don't see him, Eyeri won't be accepted," Dyn'ad commented, the tone was cold and stern which broke Eyeri from his thoughts. "He is ours."
Nel'os exhaled. "I know," he murmured. "It's just hard. Eyeri cried last night. I don't like seeing little ones cry," there was a touch of stubbornness in his voice as he said that, "Little ones should laugh and smile. Not weep in distress over things they can't control."
"Or have brought upon themselves," Dyn'ad countered more sternly. Eyeri mentally winced at the tone, rubbing the sting out of his chest at the words. Dyn'ad was right in some ways. He had brought this upon himself. "The boy has been warned repeatedly now what would happen. He's used chances. We should just be thankful Tai'ray hadn't warned of a more sterner punishment. I'm not sure Ryraso could stand us doing more than what we are doing to Eyeri. We have already divided his loyalties enough over this."
"Fetmar brought it upon Eyeri," Nel'os said firmly, "I don't agree Tai'ray should have punished Eyeri for his brother's mistakes!"
"You call an older brother trying to protect his younger brother a mistake?" Dyn'ad asked gently and Eyeri felt his heart twist. It was a good question. Had trying to save him been a mistake?
"No. But," Nel'os made an exasperated sound, "Eyeri is safe here. Fetmar knows Yerir'o! He knows how protective we are over Kin. Fetmar should have known better. Even if he wasn't Ryraso's, Yerir'o would have claimed him legally and kept him safe."
"You sure he knows that though? Nel, Ry taught the brothers the bare minimum about us. Fetmar's only real experience is fighting against us..." Dyn'ad said before being cut off by someone summoning them.
Eyeri waited for a few tense moments to see if someone was going to come and check up on him but they seemed to leave the room forgetting about him. Eyeri shivered and walked out into the consort rooms, thinking about what he had heard and what he wanted to do next. He fell into the pillows he had slept on the night before and looked at the patterns on the ceiling, trying to decide his next move. He needed to talk to Ryraso. He needed to see if Fetmar was okay. He needed... He needed to see the Winglord, as daunting as that prospect was.
The image of those blue eyes glaring at him in anger flashed through his mind and seemed to merge with the memory of Tai'ray's eyes as the k'nairi held a dagger to his throat. The difference had been plain to see. In one, he was completely in control and the other he had not been. Those angry eyes scared him. It had been a long time since he had seen someone truly look angry at him.
"He must hate me," Eyeri murmured out loud to the empty room. It felt surprisingly big with no one else inside it. Idly he wondered how Aw'endo had survived on his own, but in many ways, Aw'endo hadn't. "No wonder he is doing this..." he sighed, running a hand through his hair and sitting up again, steeling himself inside his chest as he came to some painful truths. He didn't want the Winglord to hate him. He still wanted to help people and become a healer. He wanted a family again and if that meant being branded, it was just something that he was going to learn how to cope with. He had been a slave once, he could do it again if it meant being here.
The only thing worse than those angry eyes was the memory of the last look he had seen in Tai'ray's eyes. Disappointment.  The same look he had seen in Ryraso's eyes the moment he had said he didn't want to be a healer. Eyeri had broken a promise, two in fact. He knew there would be consequences to both.
Looking around the room, it wasn't hard to see the clothes he was supposed to change into. Nel'os had folded them and put them on a table near the room. He looked at them carefully, almost relieved to see they bore the royal crest. Even more relieved to see they would cover his skin almost completely. Slowly he pulled them on, the crest feeling heavier than it had the day before. He had done something wrong and he needed to fix it. He needed to find Tai-ray before the ceremony. He needed to know where they both stood and what he had to do to mend the fragile bond he had been cultivating.
He needed to know that the Winglord hadn't harmed his brother. Nel'os had murmured to him in the night that his brother had been captured but was otherwise in one piece. But he knew that rested on Tai-ray's word. Even if Eyeri couldn't negate his own impending doom, maybe by trying to reconcile with the Winglord, Fetmar would be spared too harsh a punishment.
Pulling himself together, Eyeri slowly opened the main door, surprised to find no one there. He frowned, having expected to find someone guarding him, but then again, he was supposed to be locked up in a cage. Still, it meant one obstacle for leaving was gone. It only left the question, how was he going to find the Winglord?
In the end, he simply walked, trusting his instincts to guide him. After all, they had never led him wrong before, he thought bitterly. In fact, going against them had usually landed him in more trouble.