Bird of a Nest - Chapter 11: Chapter 11

Nel'os backhanded Ser'ad. Nel'os walked up to the man, backhanded him in front of the entire court and demanded why Ser'ad had punched Ang'as. No one had stopped him. Even Honuf't was rather stunned by Nel'os' actions. This wasn't the warrior who fought in the army, this was the submissive bonded of the Winglord. A noble and somehow that made the action more shocking, more potent than if Nel'os had challenged Ser'ad to a fight. This wasn't between equals, this was between a superior and an underling.  This wasn't something for anyone to get involved in.
Ser'ad sputtered something about Ang'as being a slut and not deserving to be anywhere near his mate. Nel'os had slapped him again. The second slap this time sparking a reaction in the court. It had been Regent Un'tat who had stopped more from happening, stepping between the two and placing a hand on Nel'os' shoulders. Nel'os had growled at him but allowed it, this time addressing Honuf't.
"Guardian  Honuf't, your first bonded in banned from court until further notice. He must leave Navat today. I will not have anyone who assaults a member of the court and the inner circle with no reason here," Nel'os had declared, his lips fixed into a tight line and eyes a fierce glare. The Guardian had wisely conceded and hurried his bonded away.
Ryraso missed it all, stuck in his bed but he heard about it from people who came to visit him. Po'lar, who came to apply herbs to his back to help it heal, saying that it was just desserts for the man. His features looking somehow sharper and more dangerous as he said so. Maybe it was being under his loving care but Ryraso was starting to notice things out of the corners of his eyes again. A flash of something underneath the skin. A glint in the eyes. It was just Po'lar but in that moment, it was somehow more obvious that Pol'ar was not human nor thought like a one.
Ser'ad's reputation would be in shatters for years after this. It was one thing to dislike a rumoured housebreaker, another to assault him with no reason. Especially when he was connected to the Royal circle. Even if Nel'os had not been close friends with Ang'as, Ang'as was a former consort.  He had protection that others did not.
Everyone in court was puzzled by the entire occurrence. Even Ton'neth, who was annoying him immensely by coming every day, was confused by the whole event. He was another one who seemed to be seeing beyond fifty-year-old rumours and wondering what Ang'as had done in recent years to deserve the treatment he was getting.
"I mean, he's highborn, he's pretty and he's connected. He should have been swept up by now. He wants to be swept up," Ton'neth commented as he prepared a small altar to the Goddess in the corner of Ryraso's room. It was in a small cabinet and took up quite a bit of space but the High Priest was insistent and Ryraso hadn't the energy to refuse him on that day. The only good thing about Ton'neth's insistence visiting was that it easy to keep up his prayers to the Goddess properly. It still felt strange having the little shrine in the same room his loves tried to grope him sometimes.
"It is strange," Ryraso acknowledged, barely listening as the High Priest went off onto a different subject. There didn't seem to be much thythm to what Ton'neth talked about but the man enjoyed talking. Ryraso guessed the man was trying to form a positive connection to Ryraso. Just a shame Ryraso didn't trust him. The angles thing didn't help either.
Suddenly Ryraso was noticing just how much more sharp k'nairi faces were, how their fingers were long and slender with those sharp talons for nails. The way they moved, the way they talked, sometimes Nel'os would shift and for a brief moment, a predator was there and not someone who loved him. Nel'os was on edge, waiting for an attack. He, more than Tai'ray and Dyn'ad, was feeling more inhuman by the moment to Ryraso. There were moments where the man looked at Ryraso with a positively hungry look in his eyes. Hungry for blood and flesh.
"By the way," Pol'ar commented a few days after the big showdown as he rubbed the ointment on to Ryraso's back. Smooth hands firmly rubbed the ointment in and those talons left ghosting marks that made Ryraso want to shiver. He wasn't sure why he was so aware of it at the moment, and yet he seemed almost hyper-sensitive. "Should I talk to your boy about the programme?" he asked lightly.
"Not yet," Ryraso said tightly, his muscles tensing and he knew Pol'ar would feel them under his skin. That was another situation he hadn't resolved yet. Eyeri had been slipping in and out of the room regularly, usually attached to Aw'endo and not bringing up anything to do with healing. "I need to talk to him."
"I assume you have told him about the programme," Pol'ar said, his tone tight and even a touch disapproving.
Heat flamed in Ryraso's cheeks and he scowled. "I did," Ryraso said tensely but politely. There were two ways to play this. Politely give Pol'ar enough to understand the situation without getting Eyeri in trouble or be stubborn and have no control over it. "Something came up that makes me reluctant to send him onto any programme."
"He can't only learn from you," Pol'ar warned, his voice warning before it turned thoughtful. "Which you know very well," he hummed, a hand tracing patterns onto Ryraso's skin, finished with rubbing the ointment in. Ryraso looked over his shoulder but when he went to raise, Pol'ar pushed him back down onto the mattress, tutting. "We are talking here," he pointed out. "Why are you reluctant to send him on to a programme."
"Pol'ar," Ryraso pleaded, not enjoying having this conversation face down into pillows. He was too vulnerable like this and Pol'ar could read his reactions a lot easier than he could read the Head of the Healer's circles reactions. Pol'ar was a friend and a trusted mentor but not in this. Not in something where the man was duty bound to weed out any suitable candidates for healing. "Please," he begged.
"Ryraso," Pol'ar murmured darkly. "The boy is no longer to be branded and is very much safe, healthy and whole. Tell me why you are having doubts."
"I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to be a healer anymore," a quiet voice came from the door. Ryraso shifted to look up at Eyeri but Pol'ar pressed the heel of his palm against his back and kept him down.
"Eyeri," Ryraso murmured, not sure how to get across to the boy that this was not the person to be talking to about this.
"You don't want to be a healer anymore?" Pol'ar asked, his voice neutral, dangerous so to Ryraso's ears. Ryraso wanted to defend his son but he couldn't, not in this. For the same reason he hadn't been able to order Dyn'ad to get Eyeri and Aw'endo out of the room for his whipping, Eyeri had to be seen as a strong independent young man. "May I ask for the reason?" Pol'ar added, Ryraso able to feel the force of his glare on his back.
"I..." Eyeri shuffled uncomfortably. "I do. I think I was panicking," he admitted softly. "I didn't mean to say the words."
"And yet you did and now we have to work out whether you should be allowed to continue," Pol'ar said tightly. "No healer should ever have doubts about the path they have chosen to walk," he said passionately.
Ryraso winced. He never had doubts about the healer part of his path in life. Other parts sure, but not about the healer side of him.  As Eyeri remained silent and the glare on the back of his neck remained, Ryraso pressed his forehead against the bed, wishing Pol'ar would let him up. "Pol'ar, Eyeri is young and has had a stressful time recently. He has had to work through some past traumas. I was going to give him a few more days to recover before discussing this issue with him again. "
The k'nairi hummed, the hand keeping Ryraso face down lightening for a moment but the talons started to dig in just a touch. Enough to make it clear Pol'ar was not happy with him personally about this. "I suppose it had been a rather busy week," Pol'ar said formally. "Still, I can not ignore this now that I know. What did you mean, youngling, when you said you think you were panicking?" he demanded.
Eyeri made an uncertain sound in the back of his throat and Ryraso bit his lip. Eyeri couldn't afford to be timid now. "I... well... it felt like I..."
"Spit it out," Pol'ar said bluntly. "I do not have all the time in the world."
Ryraso twisted his neck and got a view of Eyeri with his head bowed and his stance distinctly nervous and afraid. The boy knew he had screwed up big here. Ryraso was mentally willing Eyeri to speak. This was important. If Pol'ar decided to ban Eyeri from the healer's circle, Eyeri would never be allowed to legally heal in Navat. Even on human lands, it wouldn't stop him being able too but he would find it hard to get an official job.
"I wasn't really in control," Eyeri eventually spluttered. "I just kept saying and doing things and I couldn't stop, just watch as things got worse and worse before. Well. Before I knew it the words were already tumbling out of my mouth and I couldn't stop it," Eyeri trailed off, his knees and arms drawing closer to his body before he looked up sharply. His eyes wet but not crying yet. "I was scared," he said simply, those last three words going from emotive to dead neutral, like someone had switched his emotional side off.
"That so?" Pol'ar hummed. "Are you scared now?"
"Truthfully, yes," Eyeri nodded slowly. "When the others aren't around, I get nervous. When someone I don't know is also around, I get ... scared."
"Do you still want to be a healer?" Pol'ar said softly, like it wasn't a question to which the answer would dictate the rest of Eyeri's being. His talons were tapping on Ryraso's back now, an unnerving feeling as Ryraso waited for the answers too. It wasn't news Eyeri was nervous on his own, or even that he was scared but the feeling of being out of control, that was more concerning. Depersonalization, usually caused by stress and Eyeri certainly was in a high-stress environment at the moment.
"Yes," Eyeri said strongly and without any real moment of hesitation. Ryraso found himself smiling, pleaded to hear the tone after the soft words Eyeri had been speaking in. That sounded more like his boy.
"Why?" Pol'ar demanded.
"I don't know," Eyeri declared almost too honest. "When I was younger, I wanted to help my brothers. That grew to everyone on the warship. Now..." he trailed off. "I have no purpose now but I don't see how that should stop me wanting to finish the path that I started."
"Except you haven't started it. Not yet," Pol'ar murmured, his hand finally leaving Ryraso's back. "Ryraso should never have trained you in the first place," he said darkly. "And I'm not entirely sure you are worth the risk he took. No. You are to come to the clinic tomorrow. It is time you were assessed," he said firmly standing. "Ryraso, in a week if Eyeri has failed to impress me, you will need to find him a new trade. You will also have to take an assessment if he fails to prove your skills are still up to scratch, Goddess blessing or not."
"Yes, sir," Ryraso breathed, sitting up just in time to watch as Pol'ar left the room, not acknowledging Eyeri on the way out. He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling a headache grow behind them. "Oh, Eyeri," he breathed. "Come here."
Eyeri stumbled over, looking appropriately grey in the face. He fell on the bed next to Ryraso but didn't hug him. His fingers dug into the sides of the mattress and his shoulders rose up defensively. "I just messed up, didn't I?" he commented numbly. Ryraso closed the distance and pulled him in close for a hug, stroking his hair.
"I think so."