Bird of a Nest - Chapter 14: Chapter 14

Ryraso didn't sleep well. Tai'ray had pulled him in the royal nest, and Ryraso had fallen in-between Tai'ray and Dyn'ad. Wings gently encasing him as thick arms wrapped around him tightly. The peacefulness still wasn't enough to make him sleep well though. Heavy-eyed, Ryraso lay with his eyes closed, listening to the room while willing himself to sleep. Nel'os was in the bed too, occasionally making strange murmuring sounds in his sleep.
Dyn'ad arms were around his waist. One was almost low enough to touch his bottom. It wasn't a tease though. They had fallen from his waist as Dyn'ad fell to sleep. Ryraso's feelings on that were complicated. Tai'ray's arms were higher up, one arm above Ryraso's head and the other over his chest. It was comfortable. Ryraso was warm and safe but he couldn't drift off.
"Easy," Tai'ray whispered, lips kissing the back of his head. "Stop worrying."
"I'm not," Ryraso murmured back, even while knowing that wasn't completely true. His shoulders were tensed. As best as he could, he couldn't empty his mind properly. His thoughts just came back to Eyeri. Came back to Cai'ress and Nel'os. Came back to the fact he was expected to have sex with the Royals and he wasn't sure. They were waiting for him to be ready and he wasn't even sure why he was having a problem in the first place.
"You are," Tai'ray breathed and Ryraso could feel Tai'ray's lips twitch into a smile against his hair.
"It's hard," Ryraso commented, his mind flashing through so many things and faces. "Fetmar asked me, to connect Inai if I heard anything bad for them. Isst. Inai. Tiew. They all have no idea what is happening. That I'm betraying them." His tone was almost numb. Was that what he was struggling with? Was that the reason he didn't feel right sleeping with the Royals? Or was it simply that his friends would be angry when they found out about his betrayal?
"You're not betraying them. You're still Namya," Tai'ray reasoned gently. "We are not asking you to become Dmar or to swear them off. I know your heart well, Ryraso. That would bring a conflict we would not win against."
"They may not see it that way," Ryraso smiled sadly.
He could already see Inai's eyes disappointed. Tiew wouldn't even look at him. Especially with how he had failed to protect and guide the man's younger brother in a place so alien to Zaro. Isst would yell. Possibly take him by the shoulders and shake him angrily. Like he had all those years ago when Ryraso had let a superior molest him without fighting back. He wouldn't strike Ryraso. Isst would never do that but the yelling would cut through his heart just as badly as Inai's eyes. Like the twins and Taidra when they had parted ways. The other members of their brigade too, would be cold and distinct. One or two would possibly try to kill him.
Wiljam would just smile softly and murmured 'I thought so' before never acknowledging him again. That particular thought stabbing deep in Ryraso's heart like a real dagger. His eyes watered for one moment before he pushed that down.
Was his lingering feelings for Wiljam causing the problem?
"They also may not be that surprised," Tai'ray shrugged, the movement jostling Ryraso slightly with how close they were curled together. "Inai knew I was going to come for you. He knows I can be persuasive. He knew I was planning to claim you as a mate. Isst knows your history with us. They probably will assume we will bend you over and take you with little consent from you." The last sentence was said rather bitterly and Tai'ray pressed closer somehow, almost like he was protecting Ryraso from anyone who would do such a thing.
Ryraso said nothing. There wasn't really anything he had to say to that. The rumours about how the k'nairi were did lead to a lot of misconceptions. Only Ryraso knew that the average warrior nest probably would. Especially ones which were scarred now by the war. He had read Tai'ray's rules about claiming humans. They were designed to bar people who would resort to such actions. Mostly. Some things were a little hazy for Ryraso's tastes.
"I miss them," Ryraso admitted. "I know I will get used to it but it is strange to be back here. Stranger yet to be in your nest," he chuckled softly.
"You can always write them a letter, Ryraso. Let them know that you're alive and well," Tai'ray pointed out softly. "And I hope the strangeness fades to become something much better."
"I'm sure it will," Ryraso breathed.
Tai'ray made a strange noise. The arms relaxed around him and suddenly Tai'ray shifted upwards. Ryraso let himself roll on his back and looked up at the man. In the dim light, Tai'ray looked colourless but he could still see those sharp angles in the k'nairi's face. Sharp teeth as Tai'ray smiled down at him. It was a fond smile but in the dark, there was a strange tint to it. Ryraso's heart throbbed and he leaned in as Tai'ray lowered to kiss Ryraso.
It was deep and loving. Not so much passionate as claiming. Tai'ray's talons cupping his face. "I love you. We will deal with your friends as the problems occur. Those who are truly your friends will remain so."
Kissing back, Ryraso nodded. They returned to their previous positions. Ryraso feeling slightly better but there was still a tenseness inside. Tai'ray exhaled and Ryraso closed his eyes. After a few moments, the room filled with a gentle singing. A familiar song. A lullaby, sung by k'nairi nests to their hatchings. Slowly Ryraso finally fell to sleep, slipping into the darkness peacefully.
---x---
Dyn'ad was gone in the morning. So was Tai'ray. Dyn'ad had taken Fetmar to the training ring to start teaching Aw'endo's class some defensive moves. Eyeri had gone to Pol'ar's clinic to start his trial week. Leaving just Ryraso and Nel'os in the consort rooms.
"I miss healing," Ryraso commented, looking at the book he had been reading unhappily. As a healer, he rarely had time for hobbies and now he was unable to work, he wasn't really sure what to do with himself. With his nervousness of the day, the book wasn't really holding his attention.
Nel'os chuckled and moved over. He kissed Ryraso's cheek and stole the book from Ryraso. Ryraso letting him, not really caring for the book. "I'm not surprised with this thing," Nel'os said looking at the content unimpressed. It was a scientific journal and a dry one at that. "I can find you more tantalising material," he purred, putting the journal down on a table.
"I'm starting to understand why such things exist," Ryraso exhaled before looking over at Nel'os. Something shifted in him as he looked at Nel'os seductive posture. Not quite flirting but certainly a kind of charm to how he was standing.
Ryraso was nervous to have sex. He wasn't sure why. Nel'os didn't really care about sex. He enjoyed it and most likely wouldn't make too big a deal about it. Maybe now was the perfect time to attempt to get it over with and have some nice one on one bonding with Nel'os as Tai'ray looked to be trapped all day again.
"I can't say either way," Nel'os chuckled, moving close again and cuddling into Ryraso's side. He almost seemed to wrap Ryraso's arm around himself.
In the past Ryraso had pushed him away. This time Ryraso shifted and smiled warmly at Nel'os before kissing him on the lips. He could feel Nel'os' surprise at the action before the man gripped at his clothes and pulled him closer. The kiss got deeper and Ryraso slowly tried to turn it more passionate. Nel'os made a noise of pleasure and seemed to happily accept that. Suddenly Ryraso was being moved. Ryraso went with the hands and found himself straddling Nel'os.
Hands groped his ass and Ryraso shifted his hips slightly to give more access, reaching forward himself to pull at Nel'os' robes. Their lips parted and Nel'os was looking at Ryraso with a look of pure hunger.
"Ryraso," Nel'os murmured.
"Nel, shut up," Ryraso growled, yanking on Nel'os robes and pulling him back into the kiss again. He felt up Nel'os chest and explored as they kissed, Nel'os hands doing their own exploring as he did so.
"We do need to talk," Nel'os grumbled as he pulled away, shifting them both so Ryraso was on his back on the floor and Nel'os was on top. Ryraso wrapped his legs around Nel'os waist and tilted his head, doing his best innocence impression.
"Do we?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow and keeping his lips parted slightly, grinding against Nel'os' groin. The k'nairi let out a primal purr, lust lacing his features and he leant down for another deep claiming kiss. "I think this is just fine," he purred, reaching up to hold onto Nel'os' shoulders.
"Oh trust me, love. There is nothing more I would like than to ravish you right here," purred Nel'os, as he kissed Ryraso's chest, having removed Ryraso's top while they had been kissing earlier. "But things have to be discussed," he breathed. "Are you sure you are ready for this?"
"Pretty sure," Ryraso nodded, reaching to kiss Nel'os again, really not waiting to answer those kinds of questions.
"Ry!" Nel'os warned and pushed Ryraso to the ground again. "Please. Look at me. Are you ready for this?"
Ryraso grunted as he was pushed to the look and looked at Nel'os slightly annoyed. This was not going the way he was hoping. "Nel'os, I want to have sex with you," he said firmly.
"Wasn't the question," Nel'os said dryly.
"Nel," Ryraso growled, reaching up but Nel'os shifted away, concern in his eyes. "Nel'os," he complained. "Please," he pleaded. "Just let this happen," he growled through gritted teeth, unable to keep the pleading from his eyes. "You're the best person to try get over whatever is my issue with. Please don't make this something it's not," he said to reason.
Nel'os' expression was guarded. He leant down and kissed Ryraso again. Only, it wasn't passionate or deep. It was loving and tender. They parted and Nel'os shook his head. "No," he said firmly. "As much as I would love to, you're not ready."
The first emotion that filled Ryraso was anger. He dropped his legs and pushed Nel'os off him. "Fuck you," he growled, finding his top and putting it back on.
"Ry," Nel'os exclaimed unhappily with a hurt expression on his face. "It's not that bad," he reassured. "It's been a while. It's not that surprising you're nervous about falling into bed with us again.
"Easy for you to say. You've never had an issue hopping into bed with anyone. Apart from apparently me today. The one time I could use you being easy," Ryraso spat angrily, glaring darkly at Nel'os. Nel'os face flinched at that. He looked speechless. "Maybe I can find someone more willing elsewhere. After all, it's not like any of you are particularly faithful to each other. I don't have to be to you either," he added, only half speaking from anger. Maybe it would be easier. Just go find one of the former concubines and do it with them and get reacquainted with the act.
"You know that's not true, Ryraso," Nel'os bit back, his eyebrows furrowing. "I would not try that unless you want to be punished."
Ryraso stood, laughing darkly. "We'll see," he hissed and walked away, slamming the door as he went. The guards jumped backwards as he appeared anger flowing around him. He darted away quickly as Nel'os followed, calling his name. Nel'os quickly caught up with him and suddenly he was back in the consort rooms, Nel'os having transported them.
"You're not going anywhere like this," Nel'os said sternly.
"Yes, I am," Ryraso scowled, yanking his arm from Nel'os grip and this time heading for the window. "I'm not fucking staying in here," he added, letting out another growl as the vines around the window closed to stop him leaving through that way.
"Not while you're threatening to go fuck someone just to get back at us," Nel'os warned. Ryraso rolled his eyes.
"Fine," Ryraso hissed. He turned and went into his room, closing the door behind him. The anger was still bubbling inside of him dangerously. It felt like something inside of him was going to explode. Normally when this happened, he walked it off but apparently that wasn't an option. He turned and almost instinctively punched the wall, pain shooting up his arm. He winced and punched again. And again. Pain exploding from his hand but the act itself was almost euphoric.
"Ryraso, stop," Nel'os yelled, appearing next to him and yanking him away from the wall.
"Fuck off and leave me alone," Ryraso roared, his hand still clenched into a fist. Nel'os looked at him, almost looking a touch scared and very concerned. Nel'os reached out and grabbed his wrist, Ryraso yelling in pain and almost dropped to his knees. Snarling and panting for breath, he tried to pull out of the hold but Nel'os kept a firm hold.
"Ryraso," Nel'os breathed.
"Nel'os," Ryraso snarled and the two ended off in a weird standoff. Ryraso unable to pull away as his hand and forearm throbbed in pain. His angry still bubbling dangerously. He just wanted it over with.