Blessed Luna Rising - Chapter 45: Chapter 45

Killian’s POV
I open my eyes and find I’m in bed alone. Her scent is faint which means Tara left the bed long ago. I sit up in the bed and check the time. It’s only 6am, did she even sleep? I check the bathroom and she isn’t there so I check the only other place on our floor she might be, the nursery. Before I even reach the door, her scent intensifies, letting me know she’s in there. I glance inside the room to find her sitting on the window bench with her knees to her chest as she stares out the window.
“I couldn’t sleep after last night..” she whispers just loud enough for me to hear without looking at me.
“I guessed as much. Do you want to talk about it?” I whisper back and she turns to me with tears in her eyes and nods.
I extend my hand out to her and she walks to me, completely passing my hand, and wraps her arms around me. I place one hand on the back of her head and the other on her back as she squeezes me. I quickly mindlink the nannies to let them know Tara and I will need them to take care of the twins when they wake up before guiding Tara out of the nursery back to our room. We crawl back into bed but instead of laying down, Tara sits in the middle of the bed facing me as I leaned against the headboard.
“Okay love. What’s on your mind? You have the floor. I won’t speak a word until you’re done.” I say gently to start the conversation.
“Killian, we just fought a war for all of the supernatural kind and then another battle against two crazed alphas and a psycho witch.” she says and I nod in acknowledgment so she knows I am actually listening to her.
“Now the damned Moon Goddess has decided there is yet another prophecy to be fulfilled by my children?! Was ruining my life not enough for her?!” she shouts and I can’t help but wince at her words.
“Not you, Killian. You weren’t a part of ruining my life. You saved me. But the wolf with wings and magic, the wars, the sudden royal status… I never asked for that. I just wanted away from the abuse… To live a happy life with my mate and build a family I never got to have. Is that so wrong?” she yells through strangled sobs.
Seeing Tara cry breaks my heart in ways I cannot explain so I sit up and lift her small body from her place on the bed to cradle her against my chest. It is several minutes before she finally calms down and when she does she turns and sits on my lap facing me. Her eyes are puffy and her cheeks are bright red from the tears she shed.
“Your turn.” is all she says as she looks down at her hands clearly still frustrated with everything. Her tone tells me she is worried she won’t like what I have to say.
“I won’t pretend to understand how you’re feeling, love. You have been through so much and the average she-wolf would not have survived or overcome the trials as you have. I’m sorry you have had to fight so much since your parents died. From being abused to fighting a war to save everyone and then fighting to keep our friends here. I share your grief about the twins. I don’t want them to be part of some life altering prophecy. I just want them to grow old with their mates, give us some grandbabies, and be happy. That being said, I’m not a God and neither are you, my love. If the Goddess sees fit that our Amira or Everett will be able to fulfill something that would otherwise not be fulfilled, we have to accept that. We can’t hide them forever and we both know that whatever lies on their paths is going to happen whether we do or not. I think it is better that we be prepared. Train them, teach them, and make sure they are fully capable of winning whatever battle may come their way.” I say cautiously knowing Tara will probably be angry that I’m not suggesting we fight the Moon Goddess or hide our children. After a few minutes of silence, Tara lets out a long sigh and surprisingly nods in agreement.
“You’re right. Maybe if I knew what my destiny was as a child and had been better prepared, I wouldn’t feel this way now.” she whispers before pecking me on the lips.
“Thank you for being my voice of reason. I could feel you were nervous through the bond but I’m glad you were still honest with me.” she says with a small smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. I rub her back in soothing circles and hold her hands in mine for several minutes before she finally moves to get up.
“I need some me time. I’m going to take a hot bath and when I get out we will come up with a game plan.” she says before sliding off my lap and heading for the bathroom. Immediately my worry seeps into the bond without meaning to and she stopped walking.
“I’m not mad, Finneylove. I promise. I just need some time to sort my thoughts and relax. Okay? We are perfectly fine.” she says softly as she walks back to me and grabs my face in her small hands.
Normally I would insist on joining her but she doesn’t often ask for time alone so I know she really needs it right now. I put my hands on her lower back and pull her in for a real kiss before telling her that I love her and sending her on her way. Once the bathroom door closes, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and let myself relax. With Tara taking time for herself and it still being early in the morning, I decide to get some more sleep and burrow down into the covers. I send a silent prayer up to the Moon Goddess for protection for my kids and to help Tara and I through this.
“Always.” I hear a melodic voice say in my head before I let sleep consume me.
Tara’ POV
I close the bathroom door and put a mental block between Killian and myself before letting the despair flood through me. I sit on the side of the tub with water running as silent sobs rack my body and big, fat tears stream down my face. I know Killian is right but I’m hurting and scared for my babies. Why wasn’t my fight enough? I add lavender bubble bath to the hot water and watch as the bath tub begins to fill with bubbles. After several minutes I turn the water off and stand up to undress myself before sinking down into the hot water.
“You’ve been awfully quiet on this…” I say to Lola in my head.
“What is there to say? The Moon Goddess is my mother and I have no power to change her plans.” Lola replies.
“These are our pups! You don’t care she’s sending one or both of them to fight more battles?!” I shout in my head.
“WE ARE WOLVES, IRIS. BATTLES COME WITH BEING SHIFTERS! I CANNOT CHANGE WHAT THE MOON GODDESS DECIDES!” she snarls back just as loud before retreating to the back of my mind and blocking me out.
I know she’s right just like Killian is but I can’t seem to wrap my head around it. It hurts my heart to think about my pups facing these unknown battles. I take a deep, shaky breath and decide it’s time to stop with the despair. I was hurting my mate and my wolf and would end up hurting my friends and pups with the mindset I was currently in. I started thinking of all the ways my life would have been different if I had known from the beginning what I was destined for and knew right then and there that I would be the mom and guide I never had. I let my newfound determination consume me and felt my muscles relax in the water. Lola removes her mental block from between us but doesn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry, Lola..” I say quietly and I feel her perk up.
“I’m sorry too, Tara. I do care about our pups and their futures but I really can’t do anything about the Moon Goddess’s plan. Emotions just took over both parts of momma wolf.” she responds and I nod with a small smile.
After a few moments of allowing the calm to wash over me, I remove the mental block between Killian and I. I full expect to be bombarded with worry from our last interaction but instead I feel nothing except his presence. Anxiety immediately creeps in.
“Nothing to worry about. Remus says Killian is sleeping.” Lola chimes in calming the beginning of my anxiety.
I take a couple deep breaths and lay my head back on the tub with my eyes closed. My intentions are simply to relax but I feel my body get heavy and soon drift into a peaceful, dreamless sleep. When I open my eyes, I’m no longer in the bath tub. My naked body is curled up in bed, tucked nicely under the covers. I glance over at the window to find the sun setting and Killian nowhere in sight.
“Killian?” I call out but he doesn’t answer which lets me know he’s not in our suite at all.
“Killian?” I say as I reach out through our mindlink.
“Hey love, I was trying to get back up there to you before you woke up. We slept through dinner so i was making us food and I’m on my way up.” he says quickly.
“No big deal, babe. I love you.”
“I love you too.” he replies before closing our link and walking into the bedroom. He’s wearing a pair of grey sweat pants that teases a peak at his hidden assets and a white tank top that shows every defined muscle on his upper body.
“You’re staring.” he says with a smirk as he places our dinner on the table.
“You’re kind of sexy. I can’t help it.” I say as I turn to get off the bed. Before I can, Killian is in front of me with his arms on either side of my legs leaning over me.
“Only kind of sexy?” he says with some mischief in his voice as he continues to lean over me until my back hits the bed.
“Y..y..yes. Only k..kind of. Get off of me.” I reply trying to sound stern and confident but I really didn’t sound like either.
I see the playfulness in his smirk and the mischievous glint in his eyes as he slowly removes his tank top and pants. He puts one of my hands in his pants while the other is on his abdomen. I lightly run my nails up and down his chest and abs. He shivers under my touch but his eyes never leave mine. I reach out with my other hand and slowly stroke his shaft.
“Fuck Tara.” he hisses in pleasure. His moans and shivers thrill me so I continue teasing him for a couple minutes and then stop abruptly. He looks down at me confused and I shrug up at him.
“I’m hungry and I’d like to eat my dinner while it’s warm, babe.” I say sweetly and he narrows his eyes at me before sitting up and following me to the table.
“You’ll pay for that, my little tease.” he says in a sexy, husky voice. The promise goes straight to my p*ssy and I feel my core tighten as the heat builds. I play like I’m unphased though.
“Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t.” I reply with a smile before biting into the sandwich Killian made for me. There’s a comfortable silence for a few moments before Killian strikes up conversation with me.
“How are you feeling now after your bath and nap?” he asks gently as if he’s afraid I’ll spiral again at the mention of what happened earlier.
“I’m much better now, babe. Lola and I argued a little but the more I thought about my childhood and my destiny the more I realized they need me to be the guide I never had so that’s exactly what I’m going to be.” I reply confidently and he smiles so bright I think my heart might stop.
“We will be what you needed as a kid together.” he says as he squeezes my hand and I nod with a small smile.
I let the weight of the situation go and relief floods my body as we eat in comfortable silence before Killian makes good on his promise to make me pay for teasing him.