brooks & hale - Chapter 10: Chapter 10

HALE STARED GLUMLY INTO the glass of coke clutched in his hand and gave it a swirl. There was nothing much to see in the glass beyond fizzy brown liquid, but it was better than looking out across the dance floor at everyone else actually enjoying themselves. This was pathetic. He was sitting in a club, with alcohol readily available and plenty of hot girls he could get off with, and all he was doing was sitting at the bar sulking.
Since when had he become so self-pitying? He used to love going out. He loved getting outrageously drunk without worrying about consequences, and dance where he could just become part of the crowd, and meet new people he probably wouldn't even remember the next day. The only one stopping himself from having fun was himself, and he couldn't even figure out why. He just wasn't in the mood and he was never not in the mood. It was a strange experience, and not one he liked.
His friends were certainly in the mood. Alec and Dylan had found their respective affairs for the night within ten minutes of arriving, and had disappeared to do god knows what with them. Elliot had spent the whole evening pining after Kara like a lovesick puppy, vying for her attention with any tricks he could think up. They were currently chatting at the bar and things seemed to be going well for him.
The others had all dispersed onto the dance floor. There was Oli, doing little more than swaying while Elsie and Coralie danced with him, pulling him into their wild dance moves. Hale scanned the crowded dance floor for Will, who'd last been seen attempting the worm, but he'd disappeared too. Probably doing something crazy elsewhere in the club that would make a great story later.
He downed the coke like it was a vodka and slammed the glass down. He could have fun tonight, sure he could. Fake it 'til you make it. He was good at pretending, right? "Hey," he said, nodding to the bartender. "Can I have a drink please?"
"What kind?"
"Something alcoholic," Hale said with a shrug. "Surprise me."
The guy didn't even ask for proof of age, simply smiled and started mixing liquids with expert skill that must have come with years of practise. Impressed, Hale wondered whether he should just ditch a-levels and start working at a bar. It had to be more interesting than formulas and equations, not to mention he wouldn't have to read anything other than labels on bottles. He was considering asking the bartender about it when an arm slung across his shoulder.
"Hale, my man," Will said, with a wide grin. He smelt like alcohol and sounded as chipper as ever. "What you been up to?"
"Nothing much." Hale took the drink the bartender slid his way with a thanks, and paused to empty the contents of the glass. The drunker he was, the easier it would be to fake it 'til he made it. "Having fun, shortstuff?"
Will was too drunk to care about the nickname he usually complained wildly and at great length about. "Hell yeah. Did ya see me doing the worm? Did ya? Yeah, that was me," he said proudly, pounding his skinny chest like he was some kind of buff King Kong. "May have chipped my tooth doing it when I smashed my face on the floor, but it was definitely worth it. Definitely."
Hale chuckled. "I'm sure it was. It's always a treat watching you smash your face."
"What's up with you, anyway?" Will hopped onto one of the barstools and looked one breath away from slipping right off it. "You'd normally have found a girl to hook up with by now. Unless you've already been there, done that. That was quick. A new world record?"
"No, there weren't any girls involved." Hale frowned at his empty glass. Usually alcohol did the trick, but he wasn't feeling buzzed yet. Saying goodbye to all his savings, he slid the glass back across to the bartender in a silent invitation for another round. "I'm not in the mood."
"Not...in the mood?" Will stared at him like he'd grown a third head. "How can you not be in the mood for girls?"
Because I don't like girls.
Hale wanted to take it back the moment he thought it, as if daring form the words even in his head made them reality. It wasn't true, was it? He knew this was the real reason he couldn't enjoy himself. It'd been bugging him ever since they'd seen that gay couple outside Juniper's, the what-ifs and the maybes, slowly gnawing at his mind until he had no idea what he was supposed to feel. Every second he was around his friends he was scared one of them would see straight through him and call him out.
Then there was Brooks. He was the main culprit, the main reason he couldn't get his head straight. Every time he considered just making out with a girl, for the hell of it and because it was what was expected of him, he saw Brooks' soft smile and pretty eyes. His thoughts kept straying towards him and he didn't know how to stop it. He was so confused he wished he could just hide from his own thoughts, take a step out of his head for a few hours.
"Hale?" Will sounded slightly less cheerfully drunk and slightly more concerned. "I was just kidding. If you're not in the mood, it's chilled. They're the ones missing out. We can still have fun. Look!" He grabbed the glass the bartender had just topped up and shoved it in his face. "This is alcohol. It does miracles, like making you blackout and forget everything. It'll fix everything."
"Said every alcoholic everywhere," Hale added, laughing despite himself. At least he could rely on Will to still make him laugh even when he was feeling down.
"Pssht, I'm no alcoholic," Will said, waving a dismissive hand. "Now drink."
It was too tempting, the solution to ignoring his strange thoughts being offered by Will, grinning mischievously like the devil on his shoulder. This one definitely went straight to his head. He shuddered at the bitter taste but it was quickly followed by the slow spread of warmth through his chest, sending tingles down to his fingertips. "Cheers," he grinned, offering it back to the bartender, who took it with an amused expression.
"That's more like it!" Will cheered and dragged him towards the dance floor. "And now you dance. This is what you're good at, right? So make the most of it!"
And he did. Dancing was always fun and even more so when you were a little drunk, moving in time to the music with the others around him. He liked the fluffy, surreal blur the world took on, letting himself detach from it all as if he wasn't even in his own body. He liked the warm edge of the alcohol until the girl came onto him, pressing her small body against his and trailing soft fingers up his arms.
He tried to step back, but there were bodies all around him, packed too closely together for him to break free. Under normal circumstances, forcing a path would have been easy enough but he was unsteadier than he realised, and he stumbled. The girl caught his arms to steady him and smiled up at him, her face too close and getting closer. Hale panicked, freezing in a way he'd never done before.
He didn't want this girl to kiss him. He thought about her lips against his and knew, even through the foggy haze over his brain, that he didn't want that. Suddenly feeling suffocated, he pushed her away and shook his head at hurt expression. "Sorry," he gasped, knocking into more people in his haste to get away. "Sorry, I - I can't. I just can't do it anymore."
How he got off that dance floor was a mystery to him. He couldn't tell which way was which, forget which way the exit was, but he shoved blindly through the throngs of people until he finally stumbled into empty space. The effects of the alcohol running through his veins suddenly didn't feel so good. He was dizzy and had a bad feeling he was going to throw up, even though he didn't know why.
Will was nowhere to be seen. He couldn't spot any of his friends, but he didn't care about that. Running a hand across the wall for support, he slowly worked his way around the huge room until he felt the cold rush of air on his face. He pushed open the doors and staggered outside, narrowly avoiding tripping over litter scattered across the floor. He must have left through the back of the club, because he was in a narrow alleyway that he was certain they hadn't come in through.
What was wrong with him? This wasn't normal, and he had to face the facts. No other guy he knew would have pushed away a girl willing to kiss them. She wasn't even ugly, not in the slightest, but the thought of sticking his tongue in her mouth was about as appealing as frenching a frog. Hale leant against the wall and closed his eyes, wishing his head would stop spinning so he could at least think straight. The stink of rubbish and piss was at least helping clear his head slightly.
He didn't like girls. He couldn't keep denying that forever. But if he didn't like girls...then that meant he had to like -
"Hale?"
For a wild moment, he thought he was hallucinating. He recognised that voice, hesitant and a little nervous, but he couldn't be here. The alcohol was doing strange things to his head, that was all. He gave his head a small shake, told himself to get his shit together, and opened his eyes.
And stared.
It was Brooks, tugging nervously at the sleeves of his green hoodie with wide eyes, staring right back at him. Neither of them moved. Hale didn't know how long they both stood there, just staring at each other. It couldn't have been more a couple of minutes, but it felt like his entire life stretched before him in that short timeframe and all he could see was Brooks, a figment conjured up by his intoxicated brain.
"Hale?" Brooks said again, his name sending a shiver down Hale's spine that had little to do with the cold. "Are you okay? What - what are you doing?"
"You're not real," Hale said stupidly, not even sure what he saying until the words had already left his mouth. "You can't be."
His nose scrunched up in an adorably confused way. "What are you on about? Of course I'm real," he frowned, and then his eyes suddenly widened to saucers. "Wait...are you high?"
Hale laughed in disbelief, and it sounded slurred even to him. "No, just drunk. Too drunk for my own good," he muttered. "What are you doing here? How can you be here?"
"I was with Calla and Hassan, but they went round the front of the club to try and find - " He abruptly broke off and Hale could have sworn his cheeks went pink, even in the dimness of the night. "Never mind. I was just waiting for them when I heard something, and came here to find..." He gestured with a shy smile at Hale. "To find you, I guess."
To find you. The words shouldn't have had that effect on Hale, three simple words that had his hair standing on end. Hale didn't even realise he'd stepped closer to Brooks until he was already there, standing in front of him with less than a foot of space between them. Brooks' eyes were wide all over again and he was suddenly very still, but he made no attempt to move away.
"What am I doing?" Hale wondered aloud, voicing thoughts he probably should have kept silent. "I don't know. I have no clue what I'm doing anymore."
Brooks' eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?"
"At school, with my friends, here." He waved a hand between them, indicating the short distance separating them. Knowing he could close it in less than one step had his heart pounding furiously in his chest. "Everything's just falling apart and it's a fucking mess and you standing here is really, really not helping with anything."
"Me?" Brooks looked astonished. "What have I got to do with it?"
"Trust me, you have everything to do with it," Hale mumbled, closing his eyes so he didn't have to look at his face, so he couldn't be distracted into saying something that could ruin everything. "I should shut up and walk away, before I do something I regret."
Silence stretched between them. Hale didn't want to open his eyes, terrified he'd gone too far and the truth was too obvious now. Of course Brooks would be able to figure it out, he was ridiculously smart. Brooks said nothing for a long time, but Hale knew he was still there, because his breathing was the loudest thing he could hear over the distant blare of car horns and chattering voices.
But that was all so far away. This was the present, just Brooks and Hale.
"Like what?" Brooks finally asked, his voice so quiet he almost didn't catch it. "What would you regret?"
Hale's eyes snapped open. Brooks had taken that final step and he was less than inch away, so close that Hale could see the faint freckles scattered across the bridge of his nose and felt every warm breath that ghosted across his face. Hale could barely think over the rush of blood in his ears and every nerve in his body was tingling, urging him to move even closer to Brooks.
"Something like this," Hale said, and kissed him.
Hale had kissed more girls than he could keep count of. He'd been through the motions plenty of times, lips on lips, hands on skin and trailing through hair. None of them had felt like this. None of them melted beneath his lips like this and sent warm jolts of heat down to his fingertips, making it impossible not to move even closer, until there was nothing between the two of them but the breath they shared.
Hale's hands instinctively went up to cradle his face, fingertips brushing his cheek lightly. Brooks' lips parted beneath his in response and then there were fingers in Hale's hair, soft and gently insistent, tugging his face closer. Hale was slowly losing himself and his thoughts and nothing mattered anymore, nothing but Brooks and his lips and how perfectly he fit against Hale.
The ringtone of a phone shattered the moment, a jarring reminder that reality was only a heartbeat away and wouldn't wait for them. Hale wrenched himself away from Brooks and staggered back into the wall, stopping him from moving even further away from Brooks. His pulse was wild and his breathing too fast, and for a moment, all he could do was stare at Brooks. His only solace was that Brooks looked just as stunned as he felt.
The phone. It was still ringing loudly into the silence, the obnoxious tune of Who Let The Dog's Out which Will had assigned to himself. Hale fished his phone out of his pocket with numb fingers and answered without even glancing at the screen. "Hello?" he said, a little dazed.
"Hale! Sorry to interrupt whatever nasty kinky shit you're doing right now," Will said, practically yelling down the phone to be heard over the blasting music on the other end of the call. Brooks must have heard what he said, because he turned bright red and started fiddling with his hair, looking anywhere but at Hale. It was almost a relief; Hale couldn't concentrate on anything Will was saying when Brooks looked at him. "But we have a situation! Code red! 9-9-9 alert!"
Hale sobered up in an instant. "What the hell are you on about, Will?"
"Okay so, some dude tried to make a move on Kara, and Elliot flipped his shit, beating the crap out of this guy right in the middle of the club and holy shit he is one bloody pulp - " The call crackled, Will's voice momentarily drowned out by loud shouting, and then he came back into focus still rambling on at full speed, " - Elliot is ready to kill a bitch and I think someone's called the police, so basically, we need to get the fuck out of here."
"Holy fucking shit," Hale muttered, unconsciously switching to Spanish as he ran a hand through his hair. "Why didn't you start with that? Go on, get Elliot out of the club, and I'll meet you guys outside the Arndale. And stay away from the police, Will, seriously. We'll get skinned if they find out we're underage."
The shouting was louder in the background now, and he could make out familiar voices, including Elliot's angry tone. "Got it, cap," Will said. "See you in ten, if we don't get arrested for - Alec! We're not bringing her with us!"
The call cut off. Hale muttered more unsavoury words in Spanish under his breath and slowly lowered the phone from his ear, not knowing what was worse. That Elliot had managed to drag the police into the mess or that he had to somehow address what the hell had just happened with Brooks. Brooks was still fidgeting with the curly brown ends of his hair and judging from his expression, he'd heard everything Will had said.
"So." Hale cleared his throat. "Elliot fucked up."
"Yeah. He did." Brooks was staring at his feet, as if he couldn't even bring himself to meet Hale's gaze. "Um, the police are really involved?"
"Apparently."
"Oh. I, uh, I hope you don't get arrested," he said quietly, scuffing his shoes lightly against the ground. "That...would kind of suck. Like, a lot."
Despite the shitiness of the situation, the fact that everything Hale believed about himself was wrong and that his mum would kill him if he got arrested, he laughed. It wasn't entirely believable, but it was a laugh nonetheless. "Yeah," he agreed, "it would suck."
There was a pause.
"So, I should go," Brooks mumbled. "And...you should go, too. Your friends are going to be be waiting for you."
"Yeah...probably."
Neither of them made any move to leave. The kiss hadn't been mentioned, had been cleanly cut out of the conversation, but it was impossible for either of them to ignore it. Hale looked up just as Brooks did, their gazes meeting for the first time and sending Hale's pulse into overdrive all over again. "Bye," Brooks blurted out, and just like that, he was gone.
Hale absently touched his lips with his fingertips and couldn't even begin to understand what was going on in his head.