CALL ME • MYUNG JAEHYUN - Chapter 12: Chapter 12

THIRD PERSON
The room was surprisingly quiet.
Not the silence before a test or the silence after getting severely scolded-
-but the silence that occurred when something was absent.
The instructor walked in with a stack of papers, pushing his glasses up before he cleared his throat.
"I have an announcement to make before we start today."
Chairs squeaked, some students half-paying attention, others still struggling to get pens out.
Jaehyun was already gazing out the window.
He hadn't slept well-again.
He hadn't wanted to look at his phone either.
Not since that message he sent last night.
Not since the rage coiled in his chest and remained there.
The teacher's voice broke into the haze of Jaehyun's mind.
"Eunhye has formally withdrawn from school, effective this morning."
"She won't even make an attempt to explain," he'd grumbled to himself when he'd gone to bed last night.
"She always flees."
There were a couple of gasps.
Some looked at each other in confusion.
One girl whispered, "Wait-what?"
Another boy grumbled, "Didn't she just come back?"
But Jaehyun didn't flinch.
Didn't blink.
Didn't even breathe for a second.
"She's gone?" someone asked out loud.
"Just like that?"
The teacher nodded. "Yes. She submitted her withdrawal form over the weekend. It was processed this morning."
Jaehyun snorted softly.
Almost silently.
But it was bitter.
Of course she did.
Of course she left-again.
He glared down at his desk, fingers curled slightly against the wood.
So she truly was just going to run off after all.
After pretending to care. After almost getting him to believe she was different.
That rooftop scene kept replaying in his mind-her trembling voice, how her lips quivered like she wanted to tell him something but didn't.
He gritted his jaw.
If she had truly cared... she wouldn't have left without uttering a single word.
If she had any decency whatsoever, she'd have been honest rather than hiding behind silence.
There were more murmurs in the class, but he didn't participate.
Didn't look shocked.
Didn't question.
He remained still, expressionless, until the class resumed.
But inside, the disappointment soured into something bitter.
She didn't even bid farewell.
Good.
He didn't want it to be anyway.
JAEHYUN
Weeks Later
It's been weeks.
Weeks since the announcement.
Weeks since she departed.
Weeks since I allowed myself to consider her someone I knew.
The texts ceased arriving... then began again.
Not texts-
But calls.
Her name appears on the screen in the dead of night.
I memorized it though I never even saved her number.
I gawk at it.
Let it ring.
Let it reverberate through the silence of my room like a phantom knocking.
It always results in the same.
Missed Call: Eunhye
Again.
Again.
Again.
Sometimes it happens during the day as well.
While I'm going to class.
While I'm sitting where she used to take a nap.
While I'm doing everything I can to not think of her.
I don't answer.
I never do.
I tell myself it's best.
That answering will just bring her back-
And I've already come to terms with hating her.
Hating's easier than wondering what she would've said.
The next day, she calls again.
Persistent.
As if she still believes there's something to save.
I glance at the screen for the last time.
And I don't just refuse.
I take out the SD card.
I don't think.
I go into the store.
Purchase a new one.
Transfer nothing.
Begin anew.
No contacts.
No threads.
No call history.
No missed calls from Eunhye.
It's silent now.
Finally.
Empty, but silent.
And I remind myself that's what I wanted all along.
EUNHYE
Eunhye [12:03 AM]:
Are you there?
I know you probably still hate me.
But I... I didn't know who else to speak to.
Eunhye [12:05 AM]:
They said something to me today.
I tried smiling and nodding like it was all right.
But it's not.
Eunhye [12:07 AM]:
Jaehyun, I'm afraid.
I'm really, really afraid.
Eunhye [12:10 AM]:
I wanted to tell you at that time,
on the rooftop.
I wasn't trying to evade you.
I wanted to see you.
So desperately.
Eunhye [12:12 AM]:
I didn't come because I was trying so hard...not to die.
Eunhye [12:14 AM]:
But I guess that sounds melodramatic, huh?
You'd likely roll your eyes if you read this.
Eunhye [12:16 AM]:
Anyway,
even though you won't respond,
even though this is just me speaking to nothing-
can I pretend I'm reading to you?
Eunhye [12:18 AM]:
It's silent here.
Too silent.
I detest this place.
The lights never switch off.
The machines beep as if reminding me I'm still alive.
Eunhye [12:20 AM]:
I miss your voice.
I miss how you used to rumple my hair when I smiled.
You said it suited me.
No one says that anymore.
Eunhye [12:23 AM]:
There's a woman in the room.
She's older. She prays before she sleeps.
I tried.
But I think God forgot about me too.
Eunhye [12:25 AM]:
If you're out there,
even if you're with your friends,
even if you're laughing-
I hope you're okay.
Eunhye [12:27 AM]:
If I ever disappear,
just know it wasn't because I didn't care.
It was because I did.
Eunhye [12:30 AM]:
I love you.
Even now.
Even when it hurts.
Eunhye [12:32 AM]:
Good night, Jaehyun.
Sleep well.
The screen went dark, and I didn't turn it back on.
I'd already known it wouldn't light up with an answer.
The room buzzed with silence.
A nurse passed by.
Machines flashed.
And my chest was too full of everything I couldn't say.
I wrapped myself up in the thin blanket, holding back from shivering.
Not from the cold-
But from the heaviness of waiting.
Waiting for a miracle.
Waiting for an answer.
Waiting to live.
Or perhaps... for it all to end.
My fingers gripped the phone,
the final "good night" still hanging in the air-
said to no one.
But I said it anyway.
Because perhaps, perhaps,
he'd feel it somewhere.
Even though he never saw it.