CALL ME • MYUNG JAEHYUN - Chapter 20: Chapter 20
You are reading CALL ME • MYUNG JAEHYUN, Chapter 20: Chapter 20. Read more chapters of CALL ME • MYUNG JAEHYUN.
It’s been a year.
Spring came again, the same way it always does—softly, cruelly. Like the world didn’t notice she was gone.
I used to love this season.
Now it just reminds me of how everything blooms without her.
People said I got better. That I started showing up to classes again, that I laughed sometimes, that I looked okay.
But grief doesn't go away. It settles. Quiet. Heavy. Always there.
And every time I reach for my phone, my fingers still pause over her name.
Out of habit. Out of hope.
I don’t know which is worse.
Her contact is still saved.
No profile picture. Just the name she typed in herself when she stole my phone once and wrote:
Eunhye-ya. Your favorite headache.
I never changed it. Never could.
Sometimes I type messages I’ll never send.
|Did you eat?
|I saw someone with your scarf today.
|I miss you.
And sometimes—on the hardest nights—I just stare at the screen, whispering:
"call me."
Hoping.
Waiting.
Like a fool stuck between memory and mourning.
The letter she left is folded so many times it’s falling apart.
I carry it with me. In my wallet. On me, always.
Her last words, her handwriting, her love inked into every line.
"You were the last good thing I saw."
It echoes in my head on the days when I wonder if I was really enough.
If being there at the end made up for everything I missed in the middle.
If loving her at the end made any of the pain worth it.
I think it did.
But god, I would trade every second of healing just to have her one more day.
Some nights, I dream of her.
Before the hospital gowns.
Before the suffering and tired voice.
She’s wearing that glasses. The one she said she isn't comfortable to.
She’s laughing.
Running ahead of me.
I always call her name.
But she never turns around.
Still, I follow her every time.
Because even in dreams, I can’t let her go.
Today I stood by her grave.
No flowers. She hated them when they were plucked.
Just a folded note I left on the stone:
“If there's an afterlife, let's start over without all the pain.”
Spring came again, the same way it always does—softly, cruelly. Like the world didn’t notice she was gone.
I used to love this season.
Now it just reminds me of how everything blooms without her.
People said I got better. That I started showing up to classes again, that I laughed sometimes, that I looked okay.
But grief doesn't go away. It settles. Quiet. Heavy. Always there.
And every time I reach for my phone, my fingers still pause over her name.
Out of habit. Out of hope.
I don’t know which is worse.
Her contact is still saved.
No profile picture. Just the name she typed in herself when she stole my phone once and wrote:
Eunhye-ya. Your favorite headache.
I never changed it. Never could.
Sometimes I type messages I’ll never send.
|Did you eat?
|I saw someone with your scarf today.
|I miss you.
And sometimes—on the hardest nights—I just stare at the screen, whispering:
"call me."
Hoping.
Waiting.
Like a fool stuck between memory and mourning.
The letter she left is folded so many times it’s falling apart.
I carry it with me. In my wallet. On me, always.
Her last words, her handwriting, her love inked into every line.
"You were the last good thing I saw."
It echoes in my head on the days when I wonder if I was really enough.
If being there at the end made up for everything I missed in the middle.
If loving her at the end made any of the pain worth it.
I think it did.
But god, I would trade every second of healing just to have her one more day.
Some nights, I dream of her.
Before the hospital gowns.
Before the suffering and tired voice.
She’s wearing that glasses. The one she said she isn't comfortable to.
She’s laughing.
Running ahead of me.
I always call her name.
But she never turns around.
Still, I follow her every time.
Because even in dreams, I can’t let her go.
Today I stood by her grave.
No flowers. She hated them when they were plucked.
Just a folded note I left on the stone:
“If there's an afterlife, let's start over without all the pain.”
End of CALL ME • MYUNG JAEHYUN Chapter 20. Continue reading Chapter 21 or return to CALL ME • MYUNG JAEHYUN book page.