Can You Hear the Ocean? - Chapter 9: Chapter 9

Mia didn't care much for visiting Julian at his house. His parents were always kind and welcoming, but she could tell there was tension lingering between them and Julian. While she would be downstairs in Julian's bedroom in the basement, she could hear him bickering with his parents upstairs. It was always the same – jobs, money, when he was going to find a place of his own to live.
"That girl you're dating is only twenty-three and living independently. Why can't you?" she had overheard Julian's mother bark at him once.
It was true that Mia would've expected a regular twenty-six-year-old to be living on his own, but she understood it was difficult for Julian to make enough to live comfortably with his bartender salary, and besides, he was just like her when it came to a career. Julian had gotten a music degree in college and wasn't quite sure what to do with it. It was easy to sympathize with him.
That being said, Julian liked to keep her in his house as long as possible. Mia had been over since the night before and had slept poorly, like she often did at his place. It was getting into the afternoon, and while Mia had no work shift, she was tired of sitting around while Julian napped on his bed.
Sighing, Mia put her phone down. She had been scrolling bored for so long that the battery was about to die. She took that as a sign that it was finally time to leave. She glanced over at Julian sleeping beside her and ran her fingers through his curls. Slowly, he stirred.
"Mm...what time is it?" he asked.
"Three thirty," Mia answered. "I should probably be heading out soon..."
Julian grumbled and reached for her hand. "No. I don't want you to go," he complained. "My parents will let you stay for dinner, you know."
Mia frowned. "But I had dinner with them last night. Besides, I've been here close to twenty-four hours now."
Julian continued to mope.
"Come on, don't pout. You know I enjoy spending time with you, but I've got some errands to run," Mia said.
"Where are you off to?" Julian asked, finally gathering the energy to sit up. "Maybe I can come with you."
"I was going to go pick up some flowers and drop them off at my mom's grave," Mia answered. "You can come if you want—"
"That's alright," Julian said without any hesitation.
Mia expected nothing less. Julian never jumped at the chance to accompany her to the cemetery. Occasionally it bothered her, but she figured that Julian just didn't want to see her upset. After all, Mia knew for a fact that she never managed to walk away from her mother's grave without having shed a few tears.
"My next day off is Wednesday. Maybe we can plan something then," Mia said as she gathered her things.
"Okay. I'll text you," Julian said.
Mia nodded, half-expecting him to walk her out, but when he laid back down and rolled over to go back to sleep, she only sighed and made her way up the basement steps. She muttered a quick thank you to Julian's mother for letting her stay the night as she made her way out the front door.
"Of course, dear. I hope you can talk some sense into that boy. I think dating you will be good for him. Might teach him to become more of an adult," Julian's mother grumbled.
Mia only gave an awkward laugh and stepped outside the front door, finally letting herself breathe. She always felt suffocated in Julian's house. In a way, it almost made her feel lucky that neither of her parents were still around, but only slightly. She knew she'd give anything to have two living parents still in her life.
At the grocery store, Mia picked up a bouquet of yellow roses. Though she knew lilies were her mother's favorite, often Mia only bought what she could afford these days, and the roses were on sale. She figured her mother wouldn't mind. It was the gesture that counted after all.
The sky was beginning to cloud over as Mia drove to the gravesite. She hoped there wasn't a rainstorm in the forecast, but knowing that it was summer storm season, Mia wouldn't have been surprised if the skies opened up. She glanced in her backseat, hoping that she had an umbrella still sitting there, but it appeared she had taken it in.
"Oh well. Guess it'll be a short visit then," Mia murmured.
Though the skies had turned gray, it was still unbearably hot. Mia was practically sweating through her t-shirt with all the moisture in the air. She walked past the gravestones until coming toward her mother's. Slowly, she knelt and laid the roses in front of her mother's grave.
"Hey, Mom," Mia said, already feeling tears sting her eyes.
She took a seat across from her mother's grave and drew her knees to her body. Mia sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, trying to compose herself. It was like she cried sooner and sooner each time she got to the gravesite these days. So instead, Mia tried to think of the happier things in her life.
"Julian says hi. I'm sure he would come, but he probably doesn't want to see me looking like this," Mia explained to the silent gravestone. "But...I ran into Leila again a few weeks ago. I guess I should've known she'd still be living here, but it took me by surprise. I wasn't really sure if I wanted to get to know her again, but we've hung out a few times, and...and I'm glad to have run into her again. It makes it feel a little bit like home..."
Mia let her voice drawl off and began to draw shapes in the dirt next to her. She held back a few tears and then stared at her mother's grave once more.
"Sure, running into Leila makes it feel a little bit like home, but...but I still feel lost, Mom. I thought...I thought moving back here would make things better, that having that little spark of home might be good for me, but I haven't felt that spark. It's been a couple months now. I'm starting to doubt I'll ever feel it. Maybe...maybe Maine will never feel like home again since you're gone. That's when it stopped feeling that way," Mia complained.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, so Mia settled on silence and instead buried her face in her arms. She felt the slightest raindrops begin to drip onto her hair and shoulders. Mia's mind willed her to move, to say a short good-bye and head to her car before the rain became too heavy, but her body was paralyzed. She didn't want to leave just yet, especially not in this state, so she kept her face buried in her arms and wept quietly.
I don't even know why I bother coming here. Julian's right. It just makes me sad, she thought to herself. The rain had become more intense now, wetting strands of Mia's hair and the fabric of her shirt.
Mia's head turned suddenly at the sound of footsteps. Someone, a woman, it looked like, was walking towards her, holding an umbrella. Mia stiffened for a moment, crazily thinking that perhaps it was her mother coming to comfort her.
Then, the umbrella lifted slightly, and Mia's eyes locked onto Leila, who was carrying a bouquet of lilies.
"L-Leila?" Mia asked, trying to rub the tears away from her eyes even though she knew she'd already been caught crying.
"Mia? What are you doing out in the rain?" Leila asked as she approached Mia's mother's grave. "Here," she said, handing Mia her umbrella.
Mia reluctantly grabbed hold of it and watched in shock as Leila knelt down beside her and gently placed the lilies alongside Mia's roses.
"Wh-what are you doing here?" Mia asked, still trying to wipe spare tears from her eyes.
"I wanted to come drop some flowers off at your mother's grave," Leila said. "I actually used to come here in middle school a lot to bring some flowers. I'm sorry that I stopped visiting."
"Y-You brought flowers here all this time?" Mia asked, blinking back shock.
"Well, my mom and I figured someone should look after her grave. But I kind of forgot in high school. I'm sorry. It wasn't until I met you again a few weeks ago that I realized how long it had been since I brought flowers, so I decided to come today. Your mom liked lilies, right?" Leila asked, staring down at the gravesite.
Mia nodded.
"Can you stand?" Leila asked, holding out her palms for Mia to grab hold off.
Mia shakily grasped onto them and felt herself hoisted to her feet once more. She stumbled slightly, grasping onto Leila's arm for balance.
"Careful," Leila said.
Mia found her footing and slowly let go of Leila's arm. She repositioned the umbrella in her hand so that it was covering the both of them. As silence settled between them, Mia listened to steady beat of the raindrops bouncing off the umbrella.
Leila reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a pack of tissues. She handed them to Mia. "Um. Here."
"Thanks," Mia said.
Leila took the umbrella back from her as Mia blew her nose. Mia felt embarrassed that Leila had found her crying in front of her mother's grave, yet Mia was also happy at the same time. To think that Leila had been taking care of the grave all this time made Mia feel less guilty. Her mother's grave hadn't been abandoned when she and her father took off to Missouri all those years before.
"Thank you for bringing flowers," Mia said, feeling like she could talk again without the threat of crying.
"Of course," Leila said. Once again, they became quiet, listening to the sound of the summer rain. Suddenly, Leila spoke again. "I miss her too, you know."
Mia nodded.
"Why were you just sitting in the rain?" Leila wondered. "You didn't bring a raincoat or an umbrella?"
"I forgot to check the weather," Mia admitted.
"Well, I have a spare towel in my car. You look a little soaked," she said.
"Are you sure—"
"Come on," Leila said, beginning to walk. Mia quickly followed alongside her, trying to shelter herself from the rain underneath Leila's umbrella. She walked quietly alongside Leila.
She probably thinks I'm a mess, Mia thought.
But Leila said nothing of the sort. Instead, once they reached the parking lot, Leila opened up the trunk of her car, grabbed a towel, and opened up the passenger seat for Mia to get in.
"I don't want to get your car all wet," Mia protested.
"It's fine. You're welcome to dry off in my car for a bit. Here," Leila said, handing Mia the towel.
Mia wiped her hair and face with the towel. She was worried the towel was just something Leila had thrown in the trunk a few years before, but the towel was fresh and smelled like citrus. Mia breathed in its scent, finding it calming. Though it was warm outside, Leila's car heater felt good on her damp skin.
Leila, meanwhile, looked like she was texting on her phone. Mia was glad Leila was distracted. She still felt embarrassed over all that had transpired in the past few minutes.
"Your hair's still dripping a bit," Leila said when Mia tried to return the towel back to her. Leila grabbed ahold of the towel instead and draped it around Mia's head before lightly rubbing back and forth.
Mia felt like she was being treated like a child, but a part of her didn't mind feeling pampered. Leila's soft was touch and gentle and reminded Mia of her mother.
"Ta-da! You should be all good now," Leila said, pulling the towel away.
"Thank you," Mia said quietly. "Um, I guess I should be going—"
"You're welcome to stay in here a few more minutes if you like. I don't have anywhere to be," Leila explained.
"Okay," Mia said, settling back into the chair. "You know," she said, staring out the rain-speckled window, "you didn't have to bring flowers to my mom's grave after I left."
"I wanted to," Leila insisted. "I'm just sorry that I stopped."
"But I never expected you to bring them in the first place," Mia explained. "And plus, those flowers you brought today looked expensive. You shouldn't go wasting your money on someone who's not even your family."
"It's okay. I wanted to," Leila said again.
Silence filled the air once more. Mia shifted uncomfortably in her seat, feeling about ready to head back to her car, but she couldn't find the strength to leave just yet. Instead, she reached for Leila's coat and gently grasped it.
Leila stared at her, confused.
"Um, do you want to come over to my apartment for dinner?" Mia asked. "I'm not a cook by any means, but we could order some takeout. I feel like I owe it to you for taking care of my mother's grave, after all."
Perhaps the car was getting too warm with the heater, but when Mia looked up, Leila's cheeks were rosy.
"O-Oh! Okay, sure," Leila agreed. "I guess...I'll follow you to your apartment?"
Mia nodded, opening up the passenger door to return to her own car. "See you soon," she said.