Chasing His Betrayed Luna - Chapter 144: Chapter 144

Fiona
Gosh, I tried.
I tried not to lose it on my kids’ big day but I couldn’t help it not when Lucas didn’t understand what he was doing and those he understood, he chose to manipulate me in those areas.
“But she has been wanting one and I’ll provide a personal trainer who will help her train and keep her safe at all times.” Lucas defended himself.
But that wasn’t enough.
To be honest, the sword he planned to give Katie wasn’t the main problem, and gifting Kyle a personal library was thoughtful but how could he try to manipulate me while at it? That was what pissed me off.
“I understand that you wanted to make the day special and I’m grateful that you are here with us-”
“You don’t seem like it, Fiona. I have to tiptoe around you all the time because I know you will explode in my face just like you are doing now even though all I did was present gifts to our kids on our behalf-”
“You are manipulating me, Lucas!” I snapped as he was already pointing fingers at me.
Lucas stopped talking and he took a step back as he queried, “Me? Manipulate you? How? What did I do that came off as manipulation?”
Goddess, he really doesn’t know? How could he be so clueless?
“You told the kids they would get their gifts when we return home? I know home to you means Crescent Pack but it’s not home for us and using the gift as bait to get me back there is low even for you.” I lashed out while trying not to shout. “I decided where home is but now that you have a gift waiting for them there, the kids wouldn’t stop asking to go back until I give in and I’m not ready to go back. I’m not leaving this pack_”
“You think so little of me, don’t you?” Lucas muttered under his breath, cutting me off with a tone that made my heart ache. His eyes squinted as he continued, “To think that I wasn’t thinking about getting you back to my pack when I picked out the kids’ gift. The only time you crossed my mind was when I realized that you were feeling bad because you didn’t have gifts for them.”
We were both silent for a while but Lucas broke the silence as he blurted, “I would have returned with their gifts if I could build a fucking library within hours and transport it from my pack to this place and if I could have made my daughter’s first sword before rushing back to this pack where you all are because I didn’t want to miss out on their sixth birthday.”
It wasn’t manipulation?
“Heck, I’d have moved the world to this pack and give it to them… to you, Fiona. I’m trying to close the gap between us but everything I do just pisses you off and you elongate the gap with every step I take closer to you. Manipulate you after I bore my heart and soul to you? God, you hurt me, Fiona.” Lucas’s voice was low but not low enough to hide the pain in it.
Silence engulfed us both and I realized my mistake.
But it was too late.
“I told you you were overthinking.” Inara hissed at me before she abandoned me, leaving me to dance to the music I was hell- bent on playing despite her warnings.
I was ashamed of myself and Lucas’s eyes burned into my forehead as I looked at the tree behind him instead of his face. “I’m sorry.” I let out an apology.
A genuine one.
“I assumed the worst of you and accused you even though I should be thanking you for helping me with this year’s birthday celebration. I’m sorry, Lucas.” I exhaled.
Lucas didn’t blink as he said, “You are forgiven, Fiona.”
Was he kidding? He forgave me just like that?
“I just hope you will give me a real chance henceforth. Don’t see me as the devil because I just want to be a dad and a mate, if possible.” Lucas uttered those words emotionally.
“I-”
“You don’t have to say anything, Fiona. I know what you would say to me and I don’t want to hear it… it doesn’t make any difference because I love you. I have fallen so madly in love with you that what I wanted to do when you were yelling at me was kiss you.”
My breath hitched.
“Until you called me a manipulator though, I wanted to kiss you, swallow your words, and pour my soul into yours.” His voice dropped even lower yet I hear him loud and clear.
Words failed me and my heart raced, dancing to the rhythm of his words and the melody of his voice.
“Denial…” I recalled Inara telling me something about that earlier.
Yes, I loved Lucas and after he betrayed me, I hated him. I hated him for many years but somehow, I no longer feel hate… not for him.
I feel anger. Angry that I let go of my hate and that was why I have been in denial.
I no longer hate Lucas Flockhart, my destined but ex-mate.
And to make things worse, I didn’t know what I felt for him because it wasn’t love. I knew what love felt like as I had once been in love with him and this wasn’t love. It was nowhere close to love.
So what could it-
“Can I kiss you, Fiona?”
I gasped because I had been lost in my thoughts and didn’t notice Lucas moving closer to me. His breath fanned my face as he asked that dangerous question and I jumped backward, gaining my balance after a few staggers.
“W-what di-did you ask m-me?” I sputtered.
Without hesitating, Lucas asked again, “Can I kiss you?”
Seriously? He and I had never shared a kiss and If I was being honest the only man I had kissed was Tristan and that was when he proposed to me in public and stole what only I knew was my first kiss.
He took another step closer to me and I realized that he wouldn’t stop until I gave him a response. So I did before running as fast as my legs could carry me.
“No, you can’t kiss me. Perhaps someday you will get to kiss me but that day isn’t today.”
I felt mushy as I ran away from him but that feeling didn’t last as long as I would have loved because my memory decided to remind me of the day I walked in on Lucas eating Lorraine’s face. I suddenly felt disgusted and I wondered if I would ever move past this stage of disgust.
Could that be what I felt for him? Disgust?
“Goddess, I hope not.” I cried to myself, praying that I’d stop reliving the past while the future tormented me.