Choosing Mr. Destiny - Chapter 29: Chapter 29

Ashley's POV
I was so engrossed to what I was watching on my laptop that I didn't even notice Arthur entering my room.
"Let me guess, you're watching 'We Bare Bears' again, are you?" He asked after kneeling in front of me seating on the couch.
I momentarily took my gaze away from the screen to meet Arthur's eyes. I nodded my answer to his question with a smile, on which he chuckled.
"I see that you like that show so much." He said.
I chuckled.
"Don't judge. They're just super cute, I couldn't help but keep watching them." I said.
He chuckled as well.
"Alright, I'm not gonna say anything." He said as he put both his hands up in surrender. "Anyways, Kellan told me he's gonna have a little gathering outside and he's asking us to be there." He said in which I looked up at him in curiosity.
"What's the gathering for? Didn't he already had one yesterday?" I asked as I closed the laptop and placed it on the coffee table.
He casually shrugged his shoulder.
"No idea. All he told me is that it's important."
I pursed my lips in thought.
What could it be about?
"Come on babe." Arthur called as he offered me his hand.
After he hoisted me up on my feet, I went to take a quick glance at my reflection on the mirror before we finally headed out.
Once we were out in the yard, most of the people living in the house; or should I say, pack house, was there. They were chattering with one another as they waited for the gathering to start. Arthur maneuvered through the people to get to the front where Kellan reserved a seat for the both of us.
"There you guys are." Cheska exclaimed as she walked towards us.
She then gave me a smile before engulfing me into a hug.
"How are you doing, sweety?" She asked with her motherly tone.
I smiled back at her. "I'm doing okay, I guess. Still trying to adjust into all of this." I admitted.
She nodded her head as she led me to the chairs Arthur and I are suppose to me seating.
"It's okay, you'll get there at some point. Just don't rush and take it in on your own pace. Your mate will be there by your side all the time." She said.
I glanced at Arthur who was currently talking to his fellow Alpha, Kellan.
"Yeah." I sighed. "It's just that, it's hard for me to sink it all in, specially when just a couple of days ago, I was still with Connor. And now, everything's changed." I stated before I furrowed my brows once realizing something. "By the way, is Connor joining us tonight?
Cheska looked towards the crowd of people, before she turned her gaze to me.
"Yeah. He'll be here." She answered.
"Also, what's the gathering for?" I questioned once again.
Before Cheska could answer, Kellan called her over, saying the gathering is going to start.
"You'll see." Was all she said before she walked towards her husband.
And with that, Arthur called me over as well.
Once I was seated, Brandon also sat right next to me. I turned to him and gave him a smile in which he returned with a curt bow.
"Luna." He greeted nicely, and instantly, my face reddened.
I will never get used to them calling me that. It still feels surreal to me. Everything does.
"Please, just call me Ash." I told him for what seemed like the millionth attempt.
He shook his head with a mischievous smile.
"I much prefer calling you Luna. And besides, it suits you a lot." He commented, before he averted his gaze to the crowd.
Kellan finally spoke, effectively cutting me off from replying to Brandon.
"Alright people, let's settle down please." He instructed the crowd, in which they all complied and slowly sat on their respective seats. "Good. Now that I have all of your attention, I have a very important announcement to make." Kellan continued, making each of everyone quickly gain curiosity on what the announcement is about.
"Okay." He began. "I'm guessing most of you already heard of what's been happening around here from the past couple of days, but I'm not going into that specific matter, seeing as it's sensitive and isn't meant for everybody to know. What I'm going to be talking about are some of the changes that are going to occur in this pack." Kellan said.
Before Kellan continues, he called Connor to the make up stage. We briefly connected our gaze as he went to stand next to Kellan.
"And that one major change is going to be about the Beta." He spoke, before he turned to Connor who only nodded.
Kellan let out a huge sigh as he continued on with the matter.
"As you all know, Connor here is my second in command, also known as, the Beta of Blood Sunset Pack. But starting to this day, he will be handing his title permanently to our third in command, Gregory Osborn. And since the Gamma title is no longer under Gregory's name, I will be anointing Jade Rosswell Jamieson, Connor's younger brother, as the next third in command." Kellan announced, earning a couple of murmurs from the crowd.
"Greg and Jade, I want the two of you to report in my office after the gathering." Kellan instructed, causing for the two guys to nod their heads simultaneously.
"That would be all for now. More announcements will be said later on." Kellan finally dismissed.
I turned to Arthur who was sporting a neutral look on his face.
"He's voluntarily giving up his title as Beta?" I asked, in which Arthur nodded his head.
"He's doing it in his own will, rather than have the elders take the title from him." He said. "I'm guessing him and Kellan have a plan in mind." Arthur added.
"With Connor voluntarily giving up his title, it will somehow lessen the punishment that the elders gave him, since they haven't taken it from him just yet. That's clever." Brandon spoke up next to me.
Once Kellan was seated next to his wife, Arthur turned to him.
"What was that about?" Arthur asked Kellan who only smiled in response.
"We'll talk about it later." He said before he turned his attention towards Connor. "Meet me in my office along with Greg and your brother later after the gathering." He said before Connor left the stage.
Kellan once again turned to Arthur and smiled mischievously, making me feel curious as to what this guy might be planning.
"Connor and I have a plan, and we'll talk about it later tonight." Kellan said.
Just what I thought.
After the gathering and a few more important announcements from their Alpha, Arthur, me, Connor and a couple more people went directly to Alpha Kellan's office to discuss the so-called plan he have in mind.
"Alright, so what is all this about?" Arthur started after he sat down and pulled me to sit next to him.
Once Kellan was finally seated on his comfortable office chair, he clasped both his hands and looked at all of us expectantly.
"Well, as you have already known about the announcement about Connor passing his title, it was indeed a hard choice, especially for him. But it had to be done." He said.
"Is it your way to lessen his punishment?" Gregory, the new anointed Beta, asked with furrowed brows and a curious look on his face.
Kellan turned towards him before he slowly nodded his head as his answer. Confirming our previous thoughts about the said matter about Connor giving his title away on his own will.
"But what if it doesn't work?" Jade, Connor's younger brother and also the newly anointed Gamma, suddenly asked. Showing obvious concern towards his older brother.
"It will." Kellan assured confidently.
"I don't mean to be disrespectful by asking, but, how can you be so sure that it will actually work?" Jade once again questioned his Alpha.
"Trust me, it will." Was all he said before proceeding, "And I know the elders won't have any choice but to comply, so you all don't have to worry." He reassured his pack once more.
Everyone except Connor, Arthur, and myself, started looking at each other with an expression of obvious worry and uncertainty, but in the end, they still trusted their Alpha of his decision.
"I know it may sound like a risky move, but I know my husband. He will never put his former Beta, and best friend, in danger." Cheska spoke up for the first time, in support to his husband.
She turned to him and gave him a nod with a bright smile, telling Kellan that he had all her support no matter what.
"Thanks Love." Kellan said smiling gratefully to his faithful wife.
"So what will happen if this plan of yours, in fact, goes well?" Arthur asked.
Kellan sighed before he tells us further explanation. "After Connor stepped down as Beta, he also agreed to leave the pack in his own will." Kellan said, but everyone remained silent, urging him to continue. "And as we all know from the elder's punishment towards Connor, he was also told to banish this pack for good. But with him voluntarily giving up his title and leaving the pack, it somehow lessen the effect of him being banished. And since Banish means you aren't allowed to ever step foot in our territory, Connor's decision to pass down his title and leaving the pack, gives him the chance to come back whenever he pleases. Which also means, he's no longer held accountable for the things he had done in exchange of his title and a place in this pack." He finished.
"So that means, even if he comes back, he will never be accepted as a pack member? Just a visitor or a guest?" Jade asked, earning a nod from Kellan.
"Yes. An exchange for a clean slate." He said as he took a glance at Connor who's standing quietly on the side, close to the window. "But...." Kellan added, turning all attention towards him once again.
"What is it?" Arthur asked curiously.
Kellan then turned his gaze towards me, shocking me a little.
"All of this is only possible with Ash's forgiveness towards Connor." He said, making me frown and avoid his gaze.
I sighed before I bit my bottom lip.
"What is there to forgive, when he didn't do anything wrong in my eyes?" I spoke, catching Connor's attention as he stared at me with all sorts of emotion swimming in his eyes.
Kellan smiled softly at me before he turned to look at everyone in the room.
"Almost everybody living in this pack has easily judged Connor for what he did. I know it was wrong, but no one considered the fact that Connor was conflicted with his own self. People quickly thought of what he did as someone who is utterly selfish, that they didn't even try and make the effort to seek the truth." Kellan said as he glanced at each and everyone of us. "I know some of you might disagree on me on this, but, I believe Connor was just confused. He's mistaken the pull he had towards Ash as something about him being his mate, when in fact, it was a sign that he was Ash's soul protector. And since Connor was in the stage of denial that he wasn't a wanderer, he and his wolf thought what they felt when they saw Ash was the mate pull." He once again explained, allowing all of us to understand what he was trying to mean.
"Are you saying it was his instinct that led him to make all those mistakes he did?" Arthur asked as he tried to mask his obvious anger.
Kellan sighed as he looked at Arthur. "Yes."
Arthur shook his head as he tried to keep a tight leash on his growing rage.
"Arthur, I'm not saying all this to defend Connor, but I'm telling all of you this because that's what I think is the truth. And I'm not saying you believe it, I'm just saying you try to at least listen to what I have to say on the matter." Kellan stated.
"And what I think is that, It was a mistake Connor has no control over. It was simply his instincts that drove him to make all those decisions that led him to make all those mistakes." Kellan said.
"A mistake that also gave him the biggest blessing." Cheska spoke as she smiled towards Connor. Turning everyone's attention to the Luna, before they sent their gaze to Connor, who was still as quiet as the dark of night. "If he didn't make all those decision that eventually led him to this very day, he will never realize and be able to accept who he really is. And most of all, he wouldn't have known the purpose why the Moon Goddess made him a wanderer if he didn't meet Ash." She added.
"So what do you expect us to do to get all of this done and over with?" Arthur asked, obviously trying to change the path the subject was heading.
Kellan once again sighed. "In order for the plan to work, we need Ash to give Connor a Pardon in front of everyone in the pack, including the elders." He said as Arthur's gaze turned to me, expectantly waiting for an answer.
I met his gaze and saw an emotion in his eyes so prominent it was basically screaming to me. He was Angry. I don't know if it's directed towards me, or to something else. Or more specifically, to someone.
But his anger was suddenly vanished to thin air and was replaced with a much softer expression when he saw my eyes slowly gathering tears, threatening to spill at any moment.
I couldn't help it. Specially when all the stress just started to bombard me all at once. It was getting to much for me to handle.
One by one, my tears started falling from my eyes, no longer able to hold them in. My chest was tight from all the emotions swimming in them. I'm still overwhelmed with everything that was going on. And here I am thinking I was doing a good job on handling every new single information I take in, when in fact, I wasn't.
Felling the need to get the heck out of that room and inhale some fresh air, I stood from my seat next to Arthur and made my way towards the door.
"Excuse me." Was all I said before I finally left, apologizing to Jade on the way when I bumped into him because of my blurred out vision from the tears.
I heard someone call my name, in hopes of getting me to stop. But my mind was set on leaving that room that I decided not to listen to the voice and continued walking.
"Ash wait." Arthur called.
Without turning back, I bolted towards the room I was occupying. Once inside, I made sure to lock the door behind me, closing everyone from reach.
Then, I walked towards the huge windows and opened the curtains. I opened the window sill, letting the fresh air from outside enter the room. I sighed deeply as I willed myself to contain my tears and calm down. It took me a while, but I managed.
I just need time to be alone and gather my thoughts before I go out and leave the room, once again putting a brave faćade as I face everyone.
"Ash, are you okay?" A voice I was very familiar with, suddenly asked behind me.
"Uh, y-yeah. I'm fine." I sniffed before turning to Connor and gave him a soft smile.
"Are you sure? You don't look fine to me." He said as he eyed me carefully, making sure I was in fact okay.
"Is that your way of telling me that I basically look like crap?" I teased lightheartedly with puffy eyes from crying earlier, as I try to brighten the atmosphere up.
He chuckled a little. "I'm being serious." He said.
"I'm okay, I promise." I assured him, which didn't look like it worked, from the way Connor stared at me.
He didn't utter a response for a few seconds until he gave out a deep sigh.
"Alright." He finally gave in. "But you got everyone worried back there earlier though." He said, still with his gaze locked with mine.
"Sorry."I paused. "I just.... I just needed to get out of there and give myself some space for a little while. You know, to clear my head." I said as I looked towards the vast stretch of trees residing a few yards in front of me.
"You don't have to do it, you know." He said, referring to the topic we discussed earlier inside Kellan's office.
I looked at him as I scanned his face. He was seemingly in deep thought as he gazed through the woods in front of us.
I sighed. "But I want to." I admitted. "It's just that... I'm, I'm scared for some reason." I continued.
His eyes then found mine as he looked at me curiously. "Scared of what?" He asked.
I opened and closed my mouth as I tried to find the right words to say.
"I'm scared of your pack's judgement of me once I face them when I give you the Pardon." Was what I finally said. "I'm scared of what they'll think of me."
He nodded. "I understand. But they will think what they wanted to think as long as they don't know the truth. And even then, when they do find out the truth, they will still think differently." He said. "It's just how things are. You just have to learn how to deal with it, no matter how their words affects you."
"I know." I sighed out.
Connor and I suddenly turned to look behind us when Arthur called me. He then walked towards us. Once he was standing right in front of me, he took a glance at Connor before turning to me.
"Will you be okay if I go have a little talk with Connor?" He asked, gaining Connor's attention at the mention of his name.
I frowned, turning to look at Connor.
The last time they had a talk, it didn't end well. That's why I'm kind of wary at the thought of them talking knowing fully well they might end up in a brawl.
"And we'll talk as a civilized people this time. I promise." He added, noticing my obvious worry. "I just want to settle some things down with you." He said towards Connor.
"I'll be right back before you know it." Arthur said before he gave my forehead a kiss.
I nodded my head even though they were already on their way somewhere to have a serious conversation.
I just hope they won't be in each other's throats just like last time.
Let's just pray they're going to deal whatever matter they're going to deal in a mature way. I don't want either of them getting hurt just because they both don't like each other.
As I stood there watching their retreating form into the woods, a thought suddenly crossed my mind making me feel uneasy in an instant.
What are they going to talk about? And how important is it that they have to go somewhere like the woods just to have a discussion about it? Is it me they're going to talk about? Or is it something else that I'm just making such a big deal?
But then, no matter how I convince myself that it was something else that they have to discuss, I can't help but think that it had to do with me. And I can't help myself but overthink and go over board with all my nonsense thoughts. But can you blame me? Last time I checked, Arthur and Connor hates each other so much that they will surely fight their butts off even if it's the end of the world.
Now as a result, my brain is in over drive with all this thoughts of what might happen during their talk. And I hope, like I mentioned earlier, they'll be mature enough to have a grown up conversation this time. Because God knows I can't handle another childish fight between the both of them. No matter how well toned and huge they are compared to me, I'll surely give them a piece of my mind if they decided to have another useless brawl. God forgive me if I kicked one of them in the groin for being a next level immature.
I may be little in everyone's eyes but I can surely teach an Alpha and a Beta if they acted like kids fighting for a piece of lego. My height doesn't matter if my legs can easily reach their crotch and do some damage. And well, that may sounded too harsh for their balls but if they honestly did something as stupid as go through another fight, they'll be kneeling down while cupping their sorry not sorry juniors.
"Luna, are you okay?" A voice asked making me groan in slight annoyance at the name.
"Will you please just call me Ash? I do think it's way too early for you to call me Luna." I said, which had Brandon chuckling.
"Well since you're going to be our Luna very soon, why not call you one now?" He asked, shrugging his shoulders.
I sighed, knowing I won't win this fight against Brandon. He's stubborn and highly persistent.
"Know what, suit yourself." I stated, surrendering as I threw my hands up.
He chuckled once again. "Sorry." He apologized. "I'm just really happy that our Alpha has finally found you."
I smiled at him. "It's okay Brandon. You don't have to apologize."
I turned my gaze towards where Arthur and Connor went, gaining Brandon's curiosity.
"Are you okay, Luna?" He asked after following my gaze.
I nodded at him with a small smile. "Yeah I'm okay. I'm just a little worried for the both of them in there." I admitted as I turned my eyes back to the trees.
He hummed understandingly with his eyes trained towards the woods in front of us.
"If you don't mind me asking Luna. What are you worried about?" He asked as he stood there a few feet from me.
"Well, we all know that Arthur and Connor hates each other with a burning passion, right?" I asked, in which he nodded in response. "That's what I'm worried about. What if they had a misunderstanding and erupted into a fight? I just don't want anyone of them getting hurt because of some nonsense reasons." I explained turning my gaze to his tall figure.
"I understand. But I'm sure nothing bad is going to happen with there talk." He said reassuringly which made me look at him with a small smile.
I sighed. "All we can do is hope."
"I assure you Luna, everything is going to be fine with their conversation." He stated.
I turned to him with a slight frown.
"How can you be so sure with that?" I asked still feeling worried and uneased.
"Alpha told me himself just now." He said as my eyebrows rose up at his statement.
"He told you? How, when he's obviously not here?" I stated as I motioned around to better emphasize what I'm talking about.
"Well he told me through our mind link." He said casually which only caused me to look at him like he's slightly cray-cray.
"I'm sorry, your mind what?" I asked kind of confused.
He chuckled. "Of course. I apologize. There are still a lot of things you don't know about us." He said with a smile and I just remained standing there. "But what I was trying to say is, mind link." He explained not really clearing the confusion hanging around in my head.
"Wait, hold on. There is something going on with you and Arthur? What the hell are you talking abo...." I was cut off mid-sentence after Brandon placed his hand on my mouth.
"Woah, that's not what I'm trying to say Luna." He exclaimed frantically. "God damn, you can talk in light speed." He added. "For sure, Arthur's gonna kill me for freaking you out." He paused with a sigh.
"But what I'm trying to tell you is that, there is still a lot of things you don't know about us, our kind, us werewolves. Not the 'us' like what you were thinking. He's like my older brother for f*ck's sake." He explained more clearly this time making me mumble a muffled "oh" stupidly at him. And even though I hate when someone cusses, I can't deny the fact that he did enlighten me there.
He then pulled his hand away from my mouth.
"And lastly, mind link is something we can do. It's one of the many abilities of being a werewolf. It's a way for us to talk to each other with only using our minds. Usually, we use it to talk to the pack, or use it to talk to someone individually. While as for the higher ranked pack leaders, including myself, we have a special mind-link where it's only us who are able to use to communicate. So to summarize all that I've said, mind-link is an ability of ours to talk using our minds. " He explained. "Did I at least enlighten you now, Luna?" He added.
I nodded my head at him with a smile.
"So you guys telepathically talk to each other?" I asked curiously.
"Something like that I guess."
"Okay? Kinda interesting and cool though but at the same time creepy." I admitted honestly.
He chuckled at that.
"How so?"
I shrugged.
"Well, as what you said, you guys can communicate with each other by just using your minds. Don't you think it's a bit creepy to hear voices inside your head?" I asked, making him chuckle again.
"You do have a point. It does sound scary to hear someone's voice in your head. But it's just a matter of getting used to. And for us werewolves, it's nothing different. It's like, it's part of us." He explained, in which I nodded understandingly.
I guess he's right. It is in fact, just a matter of getting used to. And for a simple human being like me, it's kinda hard to comprehend how something like telepathic communication is possible. But then again, the same question applies to how all of these things, mainly werewolves, are possible in this world.
"I guess I still have a lot of things to learn about you guys." I spoke, smiling at Brandon.
"Indeed. And I'm sure Alpha would be more than willing to teach you about our kind."
"So, how is it like to be Arthur's Beta?" I asked after Brandon and I sat side by side on the bench outside the house.
He laughed at the question. "He can be pretty annoying, to be honest." He said. "It's a pain being his beta sometimes, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else. We've been best friends since we were pups up to this day, and for that long, I've dealt with a lot of his bullsh*ts." He admitted with a chuckle.
"Oh. Well, same goes to me because I feel the same with my siblings." I said and we both chuckled.
"Right. I heard you're the youngest of five?"
I nodded with pursed lips.
"Yup, I am. And it's a lot worse when you're the youngest." I said in all honesty. Well, being the youngest isn't that bad but it also have some disadvantages.
"Yeah. I heard Bethany say the same thing." He chuckled making me tilt my head in interest.
"Bethany?" I questioned.
"She's Arthur's sister." He replied making me nod my head in response.
"Oh. How many siblings does he have?"
"He had two siblings. Arthur is the eldest, Nathan is the second and Bethany is the youngest." He answered making me smile at the thought of meeting them in the future.
"That's cool. I didn't even know he had sibling until now. But on the other hand, will I meet Bethany soon?" I asked hopeful. For some reason, I feel like this Bethany and I will get along really well.
Brandon chuckled. "I'm sure you'll meet her soon. She's been too excited to know if Arthur found his mate already after searching for six years." He said which he immediately shut his mouth up after slipping an important and private information.
"He's been what?" I gaped. "Please tell me you're kidding." I said with a humorless chuckle. But when Brandon responded with a shake of his head, that's when I know he's not even trying to joke around.
"He's been searching for me for six years?" Frowning, I looked at him with obvious shock visible on my face.
"It's wasn't my place to tell you, but since I already blurted it out, yeah, he's searched for you for six years." He stated. "But you shouldn't feel bad though. You didn't know about us and you were on the other side of the world. It was beyond your control."
"But, I don't understand. Why was he searching for me for that long?"
He sighed. "Well, simply put, once a werwolf turns eighteen, it's an instinct to search for our mate." He explained.
"Oh."
"So you can only imagine how happy Alpha was when he finally found you. He can barely contain himself." He said as he tries to lighten up the mood. "Everything was well worth it when he first smelt your scent and laid eyes on you."
I was speechless at what Brandon said. I didn't know Arthur searched for me for that long.
"We were all thankful he found you in time." He said, causing for me to frown once again.
"What do you mean 'in time'?" I asked, catching him off guard after realizing what he just said.
He didn't answer at first, so I encouraged him.
"It's okay Brandon, you can tell me." I pushed, but he shook his head.
"It's not my place to tell you, Luna. Maybe it's best that you wait for Arthur to come back so he can tell you himself." He suggested, but I was way too curious to wait for Arthur to tell me himself once he comes back.
"Brandon, tell me. That's....that's an order." I know it may sound like a low blow considering he already see me as his Luna and that, I'm using it to get information from him. But it's just that, I want to know.
"F*ck." He cussed under his breath before meeting my awaiting gaze. "He will kill me for telling you this." He added.
"I'll deal with him, so you don't have to worry." I assured him, which somehow worked.
He sighed heavily before he spoke. "If he didn't find you sooner, he could have died."
I blinked at his revelation.
How and why is he going to die if he didn't find me?
"The longing and the need for his other half will slowly consummate him until he slowly weakens and loose himself, and eventually dies. He was already at the stage where his wolf was starting to weaken. " Brandon answered my unspoken question, earning him a shocked look from me.
If he didn't find me, he could have died?
"A-Am I that important to him?" I asked looking down.
"You are more than important to him. You're his everything, Luna. Everything." He said while I remained seated there feeling sad that it took him that long to find me. "Hey, if you're thinking that it was your fault that Arthur had to go through such state, you shouldn't. It was never your fault."
"I do think that everything happens for a reason and that everything happens at the right time. It may have taken a while for Arthur, but slowly, it all did. He may not have met you the way he thought he would, but I can see and feel that he was over the moon with utter happiness after he found you. I saw that he was the happiest person when he finally realized he found his other half. The one that he's been searching for."
I looked up at him with a small smile on my face, but it instantly vanished after another thought came to my mind. "But then, if he didn't find me, he would have lost his life and I will be the cause of it."
"That doesn't matter anymore, Luna. What's more important is the present, that he did found you before everything was too late. And I guess him finding you in the right time was destiny on the move itself." He said as I stared at him unable to form words to respond back.
I sighed, pushing myself to process everything in.
"Yeah. I guess that does make sense and obviously, I'm just over thinking things again like usual. Instead of thinking more positive, I keep feeding myself with all these negative thoughts. That is so messed up, huh?" I stated then asked with a humorless laugh.
He smiled. "Everyone does that, Luna. Not just you. Everyone let's pessimism consume their mind whenever they don't have the will to stay positive. Everyone's minds are messed up, not just yours."
I smiled back. He's right. I'm not the only person in the world with a problem. There are others with a much more difficult ones than mines. And if they can manage to stay positive even with all the burdens they have to carry with such weight, then so can I.
I smiled up at him again, feeling thankful and grateful that I had a conversation with him.
"Thank you Brandon. I kinda need the push right now, so it was much appreciated."
He smiled widely down at me. "It was nothing, Luna." He said. "I'm just glad I'm able to help in some way."
As we continued talking about random stuff for who knows how long, someone suddenly picked me up from behind causing for me to scream bloody murder in this fine, sunny day.
"Baby relax. It's just me." Arthur said soothingly on my ear causing for me to shiver from his voice.
I breathed out a sigh of relief as I tried to calm my erratic beating heart. Brandon then decided to leave and give us some privacy.
"Don't ever do that, you idiot. That freaking scared the crap out of me." I told him as I pressed my hand on my chest in hopes of calming myself down.
He chuckled huskily on my ear causing for me to shiver once again.
What's with this guy and his habit of whispering in my ears? Doesn't he know that, that have a huge effect on me?
"I was just trying to surprise my baby, is it a crime to do so?" He asked as he nuzzle my neck with his nose, inhaling deeply.
"Well if you end up giving me a heart attack, then yes, it is a crime." I told him as I playfully smacked his arms that was wrapped around my waist.
He laughed heartily, showing me his pearly white teeth. He looked so damn charming when he laughs without a care in the world.
"So I take that as your way of saying you don't like surprises?" He asked, still with a smirk on his face.
"It's not that I don't like surprises, it's just the moment when I get startled and caught off guard that I hate so much." I told him, earning another chuckle from him.
"Gladly noted, baby." He said playfully, before he gave my temple a soft kiss.
And there I realized, he's just like a fluffly and huggable giant teddy bear. The muscles he have on his body, specially on his chest, arms, (ehem, don't forget to mention ze abs) wasn't hard that it felt like your being squished by a boulder. In fact, it felt comfy whenever he engulfs me into a hug. I felt safe and at the same time warm.
I have to admit, but somehow, I don't feel the same with Connor. I mean yes I feel warm, but it wasn't near as comfortable as to when Arthur have me in his arms.
I don't mean to say that Connor was a bad hugger or anything. It's just that, the sparks, the feeling of security, and the feeling of being surrounded by warmth that I always get whenever Arthur touches me, which sadly, I don't feel from Connor.
So is this what I assume the mate thing? Is this how awesome you feel whenever you're with your mate? If it is, then I'm surely not going to complain.
But what about Connor? He's still your boyfriend, you know. My inner consciousness said.
I guess I'll have to deal with that later. I answered my own thoughts.
"Remember, no startling, okay." I warned as Arthur nod his head in agreement.
"Aye aye capitan Luna." He said playfully while saluting.
I chuckled and shook my head.
"Whipped." Brandon whispered. Though I heard it quite clearly, I decided not to react. What more to Arthur who have better hearing than me who is merely human?
"Shut it, idiot. Or else...." Arthur threatened and Brandon only responded him with a raised brow and folded arms on his chest.
"Or else what?"
I turned to Arthur and saw him smirking.
"You obviously know what." He countered still having the same smirk.
Then suddenly it hits Brandon and his eyes intantly went wide as planet Jupiter.
"You wouldn't dare."
"Oh I will, Brandon." Arthur provoked, but I'm guessing all of this are just playful fights that constantly happens between the two of them? But if not then huge bummer.
"Shorty patootie kinda lost here guys. Care to enlighten me?" I interrupted causing for Arthur to grin full on. Then he leaned down close to my ear to whisper something.
"You won't dare tell him Arthur or I swear to gods...." Brandon was instanly cut off when Arthur started whispering words to me.
"I saw naughty stuffs in his flash drive with his mate, which happens to be my sister Benny, and I teased him that if he's being a bad boy, I'm going to tell Benny about him misplacing their little chit chat together."
I gasped and I feel like my ears, neck, and cheeks are burning.
"Oh wow. That is some next level idiocy, right there." I commented disbelievingly.
"Tell me about it."
"F*cking great. You told him." Brandon said as he flailed his arms around in annoyance.
"What? I can tell my mate anything." Arthur defended.
"Well that was not included to that list, you moron."
"I already told him anyway, so stop being a baby about it." Arthur said making me chuckle at their playful banter.
When I saw a familiar figure on the left side of my peripheral vision, I turned my head to see who it was and saw Connor. He's at a good distance away from us and was sitting on the grass with his arms folded on top of his knees, all the while staring into the woods, seemingly in deep thought again.
If you just take a quick look at him, you would think he's in peace and in a calm state, but when you look closely, you'll see something different. Something more than just a guy sitting on the grass while staring out into the distance and lost in his own thoughts. And when you stumble upon seeing his eyes, you'll realize his emotions are flooding in them so visible that you can almost feel them yourself. The sadness that was radiating off of him in big waves would surely make you think about what are the thoughts that are in his mind. Makes you think if you could somehow ease up some knots building up in him just so you could at least manage to cheer him up a little. But then, how can you cheer someone and hoist them up from their sorrows, if it's brighter than the sun itself, that it was you that caused his sadness?
Was it about the talk he had with Arthur that he's sad right now? Should I go talk to him, or give him some space so he can collect his thoughts?
I didn't know what to do. It pains me to see him this sad and miserable. But maybe staying a good distance away from him would be the best option for the both of us? Maybe if I let him be with himself and thoughts for now, then he'll learn to accept that we are no longer together? But would that be a good idea to leave matters hanging around without it being resolved? Or should I make a move?
In all honesty, there are questions that I wanted to ask him after all that happened to us. Questions that still bothers me a little even up to this very moment, and questions that only him can answer.
If I didn't talk to him about it, I'll surely loose the chances that are already right in front of my face, waiting for me to reach and grab it.
But then, I also have to consider about his feelings.
If ever he decided not to speak to me, then I absolutely respect his wishes. But I'm also hoping that he will spend time to have a talk with me just so to clear some issues up.
And I guess now is the right time to do it. If I let this pass, I don't know if I'll ever have the chance to be able to have a conversation with him again.
"Arthur." I spoke lowly while poking him on his right arm that was protectively wrapped around my waist.
"Yeah babe?" He responded after he momentarily stopped his playful fights with Brandon.
"I would like to have a talk with Connor. I just wanted to ask him some things." I asked somewhat nervous he might say no.
I turned my head towards Connor's way and Arthur followed my gaze.
He then let out a sigh.
"Sure." He said before unwrapping his arms around me. "I do think he could use someone to talk to at the moment." He stated as he nuzzle my cheek, surprising me at what he just said.
"I just thought maybe he'd want a little company." I replied, glancing back at Connor.
He smiled back with a grateful look in his eyes.
"Alright." He stated softly as he gave my cheek a small peck. "But I just have one favor though." He added.
I perked up at him and gave him a look to go on. "Can you stay where I can see you? My wolf and I are just not comfortable yet with the idea of you being around Connor." He quickly added which caused me to nod my head and internally giggle like a middle school girl fanning over their crush.
"That's fine. It's not like Connor will kidnap me or something." I said jokingly but I know it was a matter not worth joking for when it comes to him.
"I know, but I can't risk it." He admitted and I instantly remembered what Brandon told me about him searching for me for six years. The reason I understand why he's being very protective of me.
"Okay. I won't go far, I promise." I said as I assured him with a genuine smile.
He gave my forehead another kiss before he nodded.
"Thank you. And I'm sorry if I'm being so f*cking strict." He said.
I shook my head. "I understand Arthur."
"It's just that, I can't risk loosing you when you're finally here with me. I don't know what...." I didn't let him finish when I immediately cut him off.
"You are not going to loose me, okay. I'm not going anywhere." I assured him again and he sighed.
I stood on my tippy toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek before I stared him in the eyes.
"I'll be right back. I won't be long." He nodded his head before completely pulling away from me.
"Take your time. I'll be right here."
After I gave Arthur a look that says he doesn't have to worry too much, I made my way towards where Connor was sitting.
Then, taking a deep breath, I mustered the courage to speak up and make my presence known.
"Hey." I spoke in hopes of gaining his attention.
His head slowly snapped towards me. His eyes meeting mine, and his lips slowly forming a small smile.
"Hey." He replied.
"Mind if I sit next to you?"
He didn't utter a reply. He just scooted giving me enough space even though there's plenty of it around.
I guess things aren't the same between us anymore.
He can no longer touch me like how he does before all this happened. He can no longer be intimate with me considering my mate is just a few distance away. And he can no longer claim me as his.
When I was seated next to him, I searched my brain for anything to open a conversation but came up empty.
I didn't know how to start.
"I'm surprised Arthur allowed you to be out of his sight for once." He started and I chuckled lowly while turning my head to where Arthur was sitting, now watching the kids play while still keeping an eye on me every once in a while.
"Not really." I commented after my eyes met Arthur's.
He chuckled as well. "Right. So is there anything I can do for you, Luna? Since you know, you came to me." He asked and I fought the urge to frown.
"My name is Ash, Connor. Not Luna." I stated with a slight frown on my face.
He let out a humorless chuckle once more while looking down at me with a forced smile. "But aren't you Arthur's mate? So basically you're the Luna."
And with what he said, I can't help but gape at him. Suddenly having the strong feeling of guilt.
"Is this your way of making me feel guilty Connor? Cause to be frank, it's actually working." I told him with as I forced to restrain myself from bursting.
He turned his gaze away from me and then silence engulfed the two of us.
Neither is doing any effort to say anything. We just sat there with me feeling hurt about what he said, while as for him, he was just staring back at the trees with an emotionless mask on his face.
"It hurts Ash. It f*cking hurts." Connor finally spoke. "Everytime the thought of you being with him and not me, kills me all the time. The reality that you're no longer mine makes me feel like I just lost purpose in life. But hey, at least I still have you, right? Not the way it was before that I can kiss you on the lips, hug you like my life depended on it, and tell you that I love you so f*cking much. But now, only as a friend. As a protector."
And with the reality of his words, I managed to look down in shame.
In some ways or another, I know it's also my fault.
"I'm sorry." I spoke as a lump form in my throat.
He cut me off as he shook his head, still not meeting me in the eyes.
"Don't be. It's not your fault, Ash." He said as he slowly turned his head and meet his gaze with mine. "Any of this is NOT your fault. Remember that." He said as he cupped my cheeks and wiping away my tears I didn't know where there in the first place.
"In fact, it supposed to be me who should be saying sorry and not you." He added sounding distraught.
"I lied to you about lots of things. Specially when I didn't tell you about who I really am. What I really am." He said and I remained silent as I waited for him to continue. "I also dragged you into the trouble that I put myself into, specially after claiming that you are my mate even though you weren't. I lied to you, and I also lied to the pack I grew up and the people who trusted me. So don't ever say sorry because none of this was your fault but mine. Promise me to never blame yourself about this, Ash. Promise me."
I stared into his eyes and saw nothing but genuine Connor that I loved.
All I could do was nod. That's the least I could do for him, I guess. Stop blaming myself with everything.
"I promise." I spoke lowly without braking eye contact.
He smiled. But it wasn't one of those smiles that reaches his eyes.
"Good. Now I don't want to see my little baby cry ever again, okay." He said trying to lighten up the atmosphere we were in.
I smiled once again.
"There we go. The smile that I always love." He commented making me smile even wider with tear-stained cheeks.
Then he slung his arm on my shoulder pulling me closer to him, causing for his warmth to engulf me. The scent of his favorite perfume envaded my nostrils and I welcomed it with open arms. The feeling of his strong arms protectively wrapped around me didn't cease to make me feel safe. But like I have said, the hug was no where near to Arthur's. The strongest feelings I always get when Arthur held me is the best feeling I felt in my entire life. But nonetheless, Connor will always be my special someone even though I now have a mate.
As silence once again enveloped us, I can't help but snuggle deeper into his embrace to have more of his warmth. But then the questions I was dying to tell him suddenly flooded my thoughts and the urge to ask him was so prominent. I know I should ask him all this questions now before I lose all the chances and regret it later.
"Connor?" I started as I heard him reply with a hum. "Can I ask you something?"
"You're already asking little one." He replied smartily which he earned a smack on the chest from me.
"I'm serious." I tried again.
"No, you're Ash." He said in a teasing manner making me groan.
"Connor!" Smacking his chest once again, he laughed. And I was glad it was one of his rare hearty laughs that I always love to hear.
"Okay, okay. I'm listening." He surrendered with a chuckle and I huffed.
"If you give me silly answers, I'm going to kick you in the face." I threatened and I heard him chuckle lowly. "I'm not joking. So you better listen." I added effectively shutting him up.
"I'm all ears, Luna."
I don't want to bring this subject up, but it's now or never.
"So uhm, where are you going after all this is finally settled?" I asked seriousness lacing my voice.
"Didn't Arthur tell you?" He answered me with a question and I fought the urge to slap him upside the head.
"Well no, not yet, but I'm assuming he's going to tell me soon. And since I told him I wanted to go have a conversation with you, maybe he'll tell me later." I concluded in which he only nodded his head as a response.
"Hmm. Would it be disrespectful if I tell you myself then? It's not really that sensitive of a topic so I figured it's fine?" He pondered.
I shrugged.
"Okay. So after all these drama is done and over with, Arthur agreed that I'll go with you guys back to his pack." He said, earning him a raised brow from me, obviously surprised.
"Really?" I asked in disbelief.
Arthur really did that?
He nodded. "Yeah. I guess we compromised since I'm your soul protector and he can't just deny that."
"Oh my god. I'm.... I'm very surprised. I was just thinking of opening up to Arthur about letting you come with us. But looks like he already had it settled." I breathed out.
"Yeah. Looks like you're not getting rid of me just yet." He joked again, making me playfully punch him in the arm.
"They wouldn't dare, or else they have to deal with me."
"Right. They don't want to be on your bad side." He chuckled in which I joined in.
After we finally calmed down, I turned to him once again with a question in mind.
"So, I still don't understand the concept of you being my soul protector. Like, how does that even work?" I asked curiously.
"Well, long story short, it's my only purpose why I'm alive in this world." He stated but the creases on my forehead didn't disappear after hearing his short explanation.
"I'm sorry but I'm still new to all this supernatural thing. Can you elaborate? I'm still deeply confused."
He nodded willingly.
"A protector, which is what I am, is basically a werewolf that was destined by the moon goddess to be mateless. But despite of us being mateless, the moon goddess gave us one purpose in life, be a protector of one's soul and protect him/her with our life." He explained again but I was still a bit lost. Still confused but was able to catch his drift. Like, I understand the moon goddess destined him to be a protector, but what I'm not getting is why? Why would she make him as such?
"But why?" I questioned.
"What do you mean 'why'?"
"Why did she destined you to be my protector?"
He only shrugged his shoulders.
"That, I wouldn't know." He said. "Only time will tell the real reason why."
Frowning to myself, I bit my bottom lip. The same question still stuck in my head.
"And you said you will protect me with your life?" I asked curiously.
He nodded. "Yes. It's my only purpose, Ash. If I have to give up my life just to keep you safe and unharmed, I wouldn't think twice. I will do it in a heartbeat." He said with not one trace of hesitation in his voice. "And since we're already talking about me being your soul protector, maybe it's the right time to bond myself with you, but that is if you let me." He stated.
And I am once again Mr. Confusion.
This werewolf thing is mentally draining, I can't seem to keep up.
"Bond? What do you mean Bond? Like James Bond, Bond?" My idiot 5'3 self asked while furrowing my brows.
I am seriously out of it right now. I am taking in so much information, it's driving me nuts. I'm surprised I didn't faint yet. But then again, I don't wanna jinx it and embarrass myself further. And if you ask me how the hell that Bond guy came into my mind in the worst situations? I don't even freaking know.
He laughed. "No Ash, what I mean with bond is I will connect my mind with yours. So that I can feel your every emotions specially when you're scared or distressed. I will also feel when you are happy, sad or depressed, or even sick. In that way, I will know when to be there for you." He stated informatively which made me nod my head as I took it all in.
So if he bonded himself with me, will he also feel whenever I'm feeling, ya know, the need when my 'middles' need attention? Because if he does then I might as well bury myself six feet under.
"I'm assuming you still have some questions?" He asked making sure I was able to understand all that he explained to me.
Should I ask him about what I thought earlier?
Nah
That's just plain awkward. I can't just ask him if he can feel me whenever I'm horny like I'm just asking what the weather today is. Like heck, that would be freaking embarrassing.
I shook my head hastily, clearing my head with funny, out of context, thoughts.
"Nevermind, it's nonsense anyway." I dismissed and waved my hand telling him to forget it.
"Okay, but if there's something you didn't understand, just tell me, okay?" He said and I nodded my head, thankful he's not pushing it.
"So if we bonded, what will happen?" I asked wanting to know more about this bond thing.
"Nothing scary, really. I read that you'll feel nothing during the ritual. But I guess once we are finally bonded, you'll feel your mind is somewhat physically connected to mine's, and if you focus yourself, you will also feel my own emotions." He assured which in turn made me calm myself down a bit.
"Okay. But will it give you the ability to read my mind and vice versa?" I asked in curiousity.
If our minds are bonded together, then the posibility of him being able to read my thoughts are possible. And in my perspective, that kinda intrudes my privacy as an individual.
"No, Ash. It doesn't give us that kind of ability. That just seems to violate someone's privacy if mind reading was possible after we bonded." He stated and I sighed in relief.
Atleast that one issue was finally addressed. If we bonded and I didn't know mind reading between the two of us was possible, then I don't know what to do.
"Okay thank you for clearing that up. I needed it." I sighed once more.
"It's no problem. If you're ready to do the ritual then I'm also ready." He said making me rack my brain for possible outcomes if I did bond with him.
I know it's safe because I trust Connor, but will it also mean that after we bonded, he's stuck with me for life?
If you think about it, it sounded very unfair for Connor. He said the moon goddess destined him to be what he is right now, which means he can't do anything about it. He can't object and do anything he wished to do with his life. Which also means, he'll die protecting me.
"Is it okay if I think about it first? I just wanted to be sure with everything before stepping into it." I asked scratching my hand without meeting his eyes.
"Sure. There's no rush. You can have all the time you want. And whenever you're ready, I'm here. Besides, I'll be going with you when you go back to Arizona in two days after the 'Giving of Pardon' ceremony, that is only, if you agree." He admitted.
"I already made my decision, Connor." I said.
He looked at me expectantly.
"And?"
I smiled at him.
"I'll do it."
"Are you sure?" He asked, looking at me with concern.
I nodded, now completely sure.
"Yes, and I want to do it tonight to get it done and over with."