|: Cigarettes and Candy :| Carlisle... - Chapter 14: Chapter 14

Declan's POV.
I ran up to Charlie's front door, quickly opening it as Bella prepared herself behind me. I quickly stepped inside and looked at Charlie with a honest distressed expression. I could see his eyes fill with worry right away, only intensifying as Bella stomped in.
"Go away, Edward!" She screamed and slammed the door.
I watched Charlie look between the door as Bella quickly, "Bella?"
She turned to him, her face wet with hot tears. "Leave me alone!"
She sprinted up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door.
Charlie looked at me, his eyes wide and almost frightened. "Declan? What happened?!"
"I don't know," I panted, my voice cracking on the last word. "We were playing baseball and they went off in their own to talk and I don't know what Edward did but she made him drive us home and- and-"
Charlie cut me off. "Okay, okay." He turned to jog up the stairs, "it's okay, Declan, take some deep breaths."
He spoke to Bella through her bedroom door and she screamed back hysterically. I know she's packing her bag but I can't go pack one for myself. Maybe Carlisle can lend me some clothes since we are going to Phoenix.
I tugged at my hair as my eyes burned with tears, I hate putting Charlie through this. He doesn't deserve all this drama he just wants to live with us and have a family.
I leaned against the wall and tried to take deep breaths like I was told. My ribs are aching from my binder and I can't catch my breath. I want Carlisle. I need someone here to rub my arms and tell me everything is going to be okay. I can't handle this on my own.
At that thought Bella came rushing down the staircase with a duffle bag on her arm. "I hate it- I can't stay here another minute!"
Charlie followed behind her quickly and I couldn't look at his hurt expression. "Bella, you can't leave now. It's nighttime."
"We'll sleep in the truck if we get tired." She responded, facing the front door.
I flinched as Charlie peaked at me. I wish I could stay, I really do. I'd do anything to be Charlie's family, fuck I wish I could stay.
Charlie was reaching towards her, yet he was frozen. His hand was outstretched, ready to stop her but he was just forced to stare at he back as she left him.
"Just let me go, Charlie." She mumbled before shaking her head and raising her voice. "It didn't work out, I just really hate Forks!"
She pulled the door open and ran off into the darkness and Charlie and I stared after her. I quickly regained myself and stepped into the doorway.
I stood in the front door and look at the broken man. His only daughter just jabbed the wound that has never healed.
My heart broke as I mustered the strength to speak. "I'll go with her, yaknow, to make sure she's okay. I have too, but I'll be back. I promise. This is my home, Charlie. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
With that, I turned and ran to Bella's truck and climbed into the passenger seat. Bella quickly pulled away with tears streaming down her cheeks.
I pulled my knees to my chest and fought back tears of my own, I can't cry now. I won't stop if I start.
A loud noise made both Bella and I cry out in fear as Edward was suddenly in the car. He carefully moved a sobbing Bella to the middle and took over as the driver.
As I looked at his face, I couldn't help but become so fucking angry. If he just stayed away from Bella, none of this would have happened. This is how Bella dies isn't it? This fucking nomad is going to kill her and rip apart everyone else in the process.
The two to my left talked more about the plan and what's going to happen but I was too outraged to even respond. Bella asked me if I was okay a few times and I stayed silent, willing myself not to tear Edward apart in front of her.
As we reached the Cullen house, I opened my door and jumped out before the car was even parked. I need to get out of there, I need to get away from crying Bella and panicked Edward.
I yanked open the front door and Edward wasn't too far behind with Bella and Emmett in tow. Three of us made growl like noises as Laurent made his way down the stairs with Carlisle following him.
Carlisle rushed ahead of the man and reached out to put a hand on my shoulder, holding me back and calming me instantly.
"All of you, stop it. He came to warn us." Carlisle said sternly, making me miss his smile and soft giggles.
"He's tracking us", Edward said with venom in his voice.
"I was afraid of that." Laurent said genuinely.
"What are we supposed to do?" I questioned, looking at the men around me. "We cant just run around, he won't stop."
Carlisle took a step closer, his hand squeezing my shoulder. "We'll figure this out." He looked to Edward and Laurent. "Do we think we can talk him out of this?"
"I'm sorry but nothing stops James once he gets started." Laurent apologized and I resisted the urge to growl again.
Carlisle looked down solemnly. I know he wants this to end peacefully, he doesn't want to hurt anyone. Now we'll have to fight.
"We can stop him," Emmett said from behind me.
Laurent looked sad, "you can't bring him down. He's absolutely lethal."
"That's not a problem, we'll take care of it." I promised, malice lacing my voice. "You should leave."
Laurent looked from Carlisle then back to me, he took one final look at Bella before nodding.
"Go in peace." Carlisle stated.
"I apologize again, for everything. Let me know how this all ends." Laurent nodded again at Carlisle and slid out the front door with one final look at Bella.
Edward and I caught each others eye and I growled and tried to step closer to him but Carlisle held me back. I shook the hand off my shoulder and glared back at him.
"This is all your fault." I sneered.
"Declan." Both Carlisle and Bella warned. A hand gripped my shoulder again as Carlisle tried to calm me.
"This is all his fault!" I snapped, shaking the hand that rested on my shoulder off again.
"Please don't do this." Bella pleaded, her eyes still filled with tears.
I stepped closer and away from Carlisle and got in Edwards face. Standing on my toes to seem taller, I glared at his guilty face.
"If you just stayed away none of this would've happened." I hissed in his face.
I felt two cool hands on my upper arms that are gently pulling me away and I tried to push them off. I was successfully pulled away and Carlisle held me steady in front of him.
"Now we are all in danger because of you!" I shouted. "All because you couldn't stay the fuck away!"
"Declan, calm down." Carlisle begged and tugged on my sleeve slightly. "Please,stop it. We can't do this."
"I'll make this okay, it'll be okay." Edward tried to reassure.
His words made something in me snap, a part of me that was sick of being told that everything will be okay. It's never okay, everything is always falling apart.
My left fist swung through the air as I aimed at his guilt ridden face. Suddenly I was pushed or pulled away and both my arms were pinned to my chest.
Carlisle had his arms around mine, holding me close as I struggled to get away. I tried to thrash and tug myself out of his grip but he wouldn't budge.
"Let me go!" I yelled as he started dragging me away from the two stunned people by the door.
"No. We are going somewhere else until you calm down." Carlisle said calmly and he continued to drag me through the house.
"I'm not a child." I growled, "let me go!"
"You're acting like one." He almost sounded amused.
How dare he! How can he be fucking giggling when everything is falling apart?
He led me all the way upstairs to his bedroom, he placed me on his bed as he closed the door behind him.
I stared at him, my face feeling hot and I could hear my heart pulsing. I crossed my arms and huffed at him.
"Well? Go ahead? Start throwing things and punching walls." He mirrored my action and waited.
I glared at him. "I'm not gonna do that."
My face felt hot and my eyes burned with oncoming tears. Knowing that he was disappointed in me for throwing a tantrum just makes me feel worse.
"Okay." He moved to kneel on the floor in front of me making our heights match. "Now, are you going to tell me what's really going on?"
I looked into his eyes, I felt the tears spill over as a small sob escaped my lips.
"I hate this." I mumbled as I reached a hand out to grip his shirt. I fisted the fabric on his chest and leaned my forehead next to my hand.
"I know." He put his hand onto my hand that was on his chest. "I know, sweetheart."
With everything going on, I couldn't help but think about Charlie. That's what's truly making me fall apart. His hurt expression is embedded in my brain.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop the flow of tears. "You should've seen his face. He was heartbroken and it was our fault."
"Charlie is a good man, he'll forgive you." Carlisle assured.
I pulled my head away and looked at him. His eyebrows were knitted together and his expression was one of pity. I felt a few more tears slip down my cheek and he raised a hand to wipe them away.
"Shhh. Don't cry." He soothed. "I'll fix this for you. I promised remember?"
Nodding, I thought back to his words at the field.
I can't shake the panic away. I don't know what's happening anymore and I can't handle this stress. I still feel the ache of my ribs and that's not helping me in anyway. My binder is so tight I can't breathe.
"What are we going to do? Where are we all really going? Are we really going to Phoenix?" I panted, "I can't do this."
"You can, I know you can." He put his hands on my cheeks. "You're going to Phoenix, I'm going with Edward, Rosalie, and Emmett."
I glared at his chest in annoyance, "we can't even go together? This fucking blows."
He chuckled, "you're not going alone, Alice and Jasper will be with you."
"But," I tried to keep my voice from sounding whiney, "I want to be with you."
"Awe," he looked down and I bet if he could he be blushing. "You're so sweet to me."
"More so sweet on you but okay." I muttered knowing he could still hear me.
My plan worked and he giggled in the way I love so much and looked up at me with a shy smile.
I mean, I just admitted my feelings for this man didn't I? I know being 'sweet on' someone is an older phrase but he knows what it means. He's old of course he knows what that means.
Here I am with tears staining my cheeks, telling a boy I'm sweet on him. Fuck, I'm a mess.
"I'm sweet on you too, Declan." He answered, his eyes shining. "Now let's go find the others, yeah? Are you calm?"
I wiped my cheeks one more time with a nod. I can do this, I have to.
"I'm sure you want me to apologize to Edward, huh?" I asked, trying not to look at him.
I tried to fucking punch the guy, I mean, I should say sorry right? I don't really know if I feel sorry but I guess that's the right thing to do.
"I think that would be best, yes." He responded, reaching out to pet my messy hair. "But, I don't know how he would respond, he's very stubborn."
I stood from the bed and Carlisle followed by straightening from his kneeling position. "I'm more stubborn, I'll make him forgive me."
As I stepped towards the door, he made it to my side and put his arm around my shoulders as usual. He pulled me to his side and opened his bedroom door to let us out.
Once we reach the stairs, he paused to look a me.
"What?" I said, trying to keep my tone light so he wouldn't see my nervousness.
He was looking at me with this confused expression, his lips pursed and eyes searching me.
"Are you really sweet on me?" He questioned.
Shit. Play it cool, play it cool,
I shrugged my shoulders. "Yeah. What about it?"
Am I being too casual? Should I have gotten down on my knees and confessed all my feelings? What does this man need me to do?
"Nothing, nothing." He started to lead me down the stairs again. "Just wanted to make sure you're not toying with me."
I stopped abut five steps from the bottom. "I'd never play with you like that. Has that happened before, I don't understand?"
He stopped on the stair in front of me, our heights are more even now. "No, but I've been lead on by people who didn't care for me in the way I thought. I guess I can be a bit naive."
Reaching out to grab his hand, I interlocked our fingers, "listen, I really like you, but I know we can't be together. But, I promise I'm not playing games with you, I truly like you."
He looked at our hands and smiled his shy smile, he gripped my fingers tighter and looked to me.
"Maybe, we'll be together someday." He said simply and my heart soared.
I released his hand, as much as I didn't want to, I did it anyway. "That's all I could ask."
He nodded with a smile and his hand raised up to stroke my cheek for a moment. As he pulled his hand away, every part of me wanted to grab it and hold it to my face. I just want to be close to him.
Together we walked down the stairs and made our way to the garage where everyone else was. Carlisle headed straight to one of the cabinets while I stood in the doorway.
Everyone in this room, besides Bella, heard our conversation. I'm sure some of them already knew that I have a thing for Carlisle, but still, they all just heard our conversation. Our private conversation.
I guess that's something I'll have to get used to.
"Declan. You're with us." Jasper called from across the garage.
I walked around the rushing Cullens and made me way to Jasper's side.
"What about Esme? What's she doing?" I asked him as he put bags in the back of his car.
Out of nowhere Esme was at my side, "I'm staying here. Someone needs to watch Charlie."
"Oh thank God." I sighed. "I was worried about him. Are you sure you can handle it if someone comes for him?"
Esme nodded with a smirk.
"Wow okay," I began. "You can slam a guy down, I get it."
Her smirk turned into a smile and she grabbed my wrist to lead me away. "You should say goodbye to Carlisle, we're all leaving soon."
I tensed as I thought of saying goodbye, like it's the last time I'll ever see him. I know it's not, it can't be, but that doesn't make my anxiety lessen.
Esme wandered around the cars and hustling people with me by her side until we reached Carlisle by a car that I don't recognize.
She put her arm around my shoulders for a quick squeeze then released me and walked away. I wish I got a chance to thank her or something, I can't help but feel like she deserves more from me.
Carlisle turned to me and handed me a duffle bag. "Here's some clothes, I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to pack your own."
I placed the duffle on the floor next to my feet, "well", I put both my arms out for a hug. "Bring it in."
He looked from my extended arms then back to me before pulling me in for a hug. He wrapped his arms tentatively around my waist as I stood on my toes to reach my chin on his shoulder.
"I'll see you again soon, right?" My voice was small as I feared the worst.
"Of course," he comforted.
"And if anyone touches a single pretty hair of yours, I'm going to lose my absolute shit." I promised.
He hugged me tighter, "I'll come back in one piece."
I squeezed my eyes shut, "You fucking better or I swear to god-"
"Shh." He soothed. "I'll be fine."
I pulled away but kept a hand on his shoulder. "I wish I could go with you."
I need to go with Bella, I need to protect her. I'm sure she needs protection more then Carlisle does.
I'd give anything to be in two places at once. If I could somehow be by Carlisle's side and with Bella, then I'd be everywhere I'm needed.
He reached up to grab my hand that was resting on his shoulder and interlocked our fingers again. "I'll call you, and I'll go to Phoenix as soon as I can."
I reached down to grab the handle of the duffle bag and I stood straight to look at him. He's looking at me almost mournfully and I wanted to reach up and cup his sad face.
As if reading my mind, he let go of my fingers and both his hands reached up to cup my cheeks. His thumbs rubbed over my cheekbones and he leaned in to place a soft kiss on my forehead.
"I'll wait for you." He whispers so softly into my hair.
My eyes watered as I clenched them shut, "I was hoping you would."
Pulling away, he let his cool fingers stroke down my cheek. He took a step back and slid his hands into his pockets as he kept his sorrow expression.
"I guess it's time to go." He mumbled, which is very unusual for him.
I nodded and looked away from him to find the car Jasper was in. It looks like we're all taking Carlisle's Mercedes to Phoenix rather then Jasper's car.
I glanced at Carlisle one last time before leaving to get into the car. I opened the back door and climbed in, noticing Bella was already sitting by my side.
Her and Edward were still talking as I buckled myself in, but within moments we were speeding away down the Cullens driveway. Jasper drove quickly down the dirt road and onto the highway.
I noticed Jasper peaking at me through the mirror. He's smirking slightly and I guess I'm glad that with everything going on he's still in a good mood.
"This sucks." I said, mostly to him.
"You know, I thought you would be happy to be in our group. I thought you liked me." He joked.
"I like Carlisle more." I answered and Alice turned to wink at me.
"We all know that, Declan." Bella said, her voice amused even though her face is still wet with tears.
Alice giggled from the front seat and I couldn't help but join in. I can't help but feeling like she knows what our future together will be. I wish I could ask, but I know she wouldn't tell me.
Maybe this won't end terribly after all.