|: Cigarettes and Candy :| Carlisle... - Chapter 15: Chapter 15

Declan's POV
"What-why did you leave Forks?!" Adam's panicked voice echoed through my phone.
I'm currently sitting outside a gas station near San Bernardo California. Jasper is filling the tank and Alice in inside getting us something to drink and eat. Charlie must've decided to call Adam because I got a bunch of panicked messages from my friend.
"Adam calm down, it's okay." I tried to soothe. "Bella broke up with her boyfriend and decided to try and drive home, I had to go with her. Yaknow to make sure she pulled over when she got tired or didn't have a breakdown behind the wheel."
"Well why didn't you make her turn around or-or just talk her out of going?" I could tell he was pacing in his creaky apartment. "You shouldn't have let her go, you guys are just kids."
"We're okay." I reassured. "I promise you we're okay. We're almost in Jacksonville." I lied.
He sighed heavily and I could picture him rubbing his eyes out of stress. "Okay, okay. Tell Renee I said hello I guess, and make sure you call Charlie. He's worried sick about you two."
I played with a loose string on my pants in an attempt to ignore the rush of guilt. "I will, and I'll call Charlie soon."
Another sigh, "you better. I'll call you again later. Don't do anything stupid, please."
"I won't, I'll be fine!" I hissed. "Bye, Adam."
"Love you," he said before hanging up the phone.
I pulled the phone away from my ear and slipped it back into my pocket. "Love you too."
I stood and leaned my back against the car door, this whole situation sucks. Everyone is so worried, even people who don't know what's really going on.
I watched Jasper finish filling the car with gas and lean against the car next to me
"Ready to go, Yankee?" He asked.
I peaked at him, "I think I'm going to go and help Alice. You think you can handle guarding the car by yourself, Cowboy?"
He nodded with a smirk before opening the drivers door and climbing in. I nodded back even though he wasn't there to see and then walked in the direction of the small shop.
It was easy to find Alice, there's not many people in the store, and I took the multiple bottles from her arms and held them for her. She was looking at some sandwiches and I quickly grabbed two and started walking towards the register.
She followed behind and took the sandwiches from my left hand so I wouldn't drop the drinks. As we waited in line, she nudged my shoulder with hers.
"Bella wants to talk to you." She began, "she's beginning to realize that you're not normal. Not human."
Shit. Why does everything need to go downhill at the same time?
"Is there anything I can do, I can say, to make her forget about it?" I stressed, my eyebrows knitting together.
She bit down on her lip, "not that I've seen."
God dammit. I really don't want to deal with this right now. Maybe I can avoid her, I'll just fly to Phoenix. It'll take longer but then I won't need to discuss wether or not I am still human.
"That won't work, I've seen you doing that. It doesn't help your situation." Alice interrupted my thoughts. "You just need to talk to her, she won't find out everything today. She just wants to know if you're human."
I glared at her before realizing my frustration wasn't because of her so I softened my expression. "I don't know how to explain what I am. I'm not even done transforming into what I am yet. Does that make me like half and half?"
Our mumbles must've looked odd to the other people in the small shop. Our lips are moving but I doubt that anyone can hear a single word we're saying. If they could Alice wouldn't be telling me this.
"It makes you different." Alice whispered. "Just tell her the truth, she's going to know eventually."
I sighed heavily making the woman in front of us turn around and glare at me. She turned back and handed the cashier a few bills but she continued to peak at me from over her shoulder.
Once the lady was done, I struggled to set down the drinks on the counter. Alice did some small talk with the man at the register and took out her credit card to pay for the food.
Together we walked out of the small shop and made our way towards to car. I was dreading the conversation I know Bella wants to have. Why can't she just forget about anything she heard or saw?
I opened up the back door and slid into my seat with a bag full of snacks and drinks for Bella and I. Noticing how she was looking at me made me sigh again. She's not going to let it go, I can tell by that face.
Alice got into the passenger seat and then we were pulling out of the gas station and were back on the road to Phoenix.
I could feel Bella's eyes on me, I could feel her staring at my face. God, I wish she would forget about this and just leave me alone. I'm too busy worrying to talk about what I am.
I glanced at her while taking a sip of redbull, she's biting her lips nervously. Great, this is going to happen. She won't let it go.
"Uhm, Declan?" She started, "I need to talk to you."
I swallowed, "yeah, Bella?"
I tried to keep my face neutral and my breathing even so she wouldn't notice how tense I really was. Being trapped in this car for so long is contributing to my poor attitude, that and my worry for the other Cullens. Yes, I'm even worried about Edward. Even though I hardly like him.
"At the field, Laurent only said I was human. No one said anything about you." She explained looking at her fingers.
I decided to play dumb, "really? That's odd."
"And at the Cullen's house. You- you like growled. I heard it." Bella spoke with a stern tone.
"Cmon, Bella. With everything going on do we really need to talk about this now?" I pleaded.
Would that be too much to ask? I just don't wanna talk about it with her. I don't want her to know about my status. If only I could just lie to her but that would get me no where.
"I need to know the truth Declan. I think I deserve to know what's going on with you." She gripped my sleeve. "Are you human?"
"Bella, just let it go." I said sternly, trying to show her that I'm not kidding.
"No!" She snapped. "There's something going on and I need to know. I need to know that you're safe, they're not guarding you like they are me."
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, of course I'm safe. I'm the safest of the bunch. One, James wants nothing from me. Two, I can fucking fly.
"I'm safe. If you haven't noticed, James didn't even look in my direction. He doesn't need to hurt me." I tried to reassure.
"That doesn't answer my question." She sat back with a huff. "Why won't you tell me the truth? What's your problem?"
I gritted my teeth, my muscles twitching as my anger grew. I looked out my window in an attempt to calm myself. The passing trees and cars always lulls me into a calm trance.
"Just tell her, Declan. It'll be okay." Alice's supportive voice said softly from the front seat.
I turned my head to glare at the back of her head, "well now I have too, don't I?"
"Yes." The two girls said in unison.
I sighed and wrapped my arms around myself for comfort. "No, I'm not human. There, are you happy?"
I peaked at her from the corner of my eye and rolled my eyes at her frown. What does she need to hear so badly? I'm not telling her what I am right now, it's not important or relevant to this situation.
"I need to know more, Declan." Bella's voice was gentle and almost nurturing. It reminds me of Renee.
"Well, I don't know what to tell you. It's too long of a story." I rubbed my eyes out of stress. "Why couldn't we just do this later?"
Bella reached across the car to rub my arm. "It's okay, I guess. You can tell me the rest later."
I sighed again and covered my eyes with my hand to try and isolate myself. Or at least convince myself that I'm alone. It doesn't help that I can hear everyone's breathing and Bella's blood flowing.
I can usually drown out most noise by focusing on the sound my own body makes. Like my own heart rate of blood flow. I can live in my own little world, listening to the blood flowing through my ears.
The rest of the car ride was silent. Although, Jasper and Alice occasionally muttered a few words to each other. For the most part, Bella slept. I could tell she was having nightmares though, and I couldn't help but feel pity for her.
She needs rest, unlike the rest of us. She has to let herself go into that vulnerable state where she can't control a thing. Of course she's having nightmares, I would be too.
After a few more hours, we arrived at the hotel in Phoenix. My paranoia grew more intense as I sat silently in the back of the car. What if Charlie has some way of knowing where we are?
What if he has trackers in our phones or what if Adam has a tracker in my phone? What if they know we're not in Jacksonville? What if they're on their way to get us?
I know, logically and rationally, that I'm being ridiculous. There's no trackers or microchips in my brain. However, I can't help but worry that somehow two of the people I care about most aren't safe.
I followed Jasper through the halls of the hotel while he carried Bella to our room. The plan was that Jasper would bring Bella to a bed and then he'd go to the drugstore across the street for food. I wanted to go with him but Alice assured me he'd be fine on his own.
After we got to the hotel suite, I jumped onto the couch and sighed. I kicked off my boots and shrugged off my heavy jacket. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples to try and will away the overwhelming worry I feel.
Giving up, I sat up and reached for the duffle bag of clothes Carlisle lent me. I pulled out a simple tee shirt to change into the pulled off my hoodie leaving me in my binder.
I was just pulling on the tee shirt as Jasper exited the bedroom after carrying Bella in there. Alice was close behind him and she smiled at me softly in a way the reminds me of Esme.
Jasper placed a quick kiss on Alice's cheek before reaching for the door.
"Jasper! Wait." I stopped him. "Could you pick up something for me?"
He took a few steps closer to the couch I was sitting on. "Yeah, of course. What do you need?"
"KT tape. It's an athletic tape, it's in the bandage section." I explained.
The pair glanced at one another with confused expressions.
"Okay," Jasper said. "Can I ask why?"
I nodded, "I wear it for binding when I fly, since I can't wear a shirt. I just tape down my chest with it. Yaknow, just in case."
I watched as he nodded in understanding and felt relief wash over me when I realized they didn't need to ask anymore questions. I don't like talking about binding or the extra things I have to do to be comfortable.
"Alright, I'll be back soon. If anything happens, you know where to find me." Jasper called as he exited the hotel suite.
Alice watched the door close behind him then came to sit next to me. I laid down with my head on her lap like we used to when we watched movies in the Cullens living room.
"I'm scared, Alice." I admitted.
My voice was small and childlike as I fought back tears of anxiety. I crossed my legs and wrung my fingers together, squeezing my fingers tightly in attempt to hold back my tears.
"I am worried myself, Declan. But, I haven't seen a bad outcome yet." Her small, cold hand pet my hair softly.
I shut my eyes and furrowed my eyebrows, "just because you haven't seen it yet, doesn't mean it won't happen. How could this end well?"
"I won't let this end badly. I can see if someone makes a bad decision, we all just need to stick to the plan. I believe everything will be okay." Alice's soft voice tried to assure.
Her gentle fingers petting my hair and kind words could almost lull me into sleep, but I wouldn't let them. I don't want to sleep, I'll just have nightmares. I don't want to see my worst nightmare in a dream.
"We barely have a plan, it was just to get Bella out of there. What are the others gonna do? Kill James? Or are they just gonna try to talk him out of killing Bella?" I practically whispered.
"This won't end until James is dead." She said, her voice empty of all sympathy.
I swallowed, "I don't like the idea of Carlisle killing anyone."
I can't stand that thought, Carlisle ripping apart the body of a man. He's my gentle caring baby. He shouldn't be in a fight to the death. Can he even fight? Has he ever been in a real fight?
The picture my mind is painting is making me feel nauseous. I wouldn't be able to handle it if anyone got hurt. Even Edward, even though I tried to punch him in the face.
"Carlisle most likely won't participate in the killing process, so don't worry about that." Alice patted my head. "He will be fine, they all will."
"But what if they're not?" My voice broke on the last word.
She pulled me by my arm off her lap. "Don't think like that, have faith in our family."
Our family.
I turned to face her and pulled her against me for a hug, wrapping my arms around her slim shoulders. I placed my chin on her shoulder and she patted my back.
"Thank you Alice, I wouldn't be able to do this without you." I whispered to her.
"There's no need to thank me, I should be thanking you for everything." Her words confused me.
I pulled away from the hug, and sniffled to try and gain control over myself and my emotions. I looked at her confusedly and pushed my hair out of my face.
Rubbing my eye, I said, "What do you mean, Alice? I haven't done anything."
"You've been a best friend for Jasper, that means a lot to me. He doesn't make friends easily." She explained.
I chuckled, "I think he did a good job at making me his friend."
"And you've been here for Carlisle, he's been alone for so long. He needs you." She continued.
"He's not alone, he has all of you." I argued.
Does Carlisle feel alone? Is it a weird bachelor thing? Then how does Esme feel? She's single too, well, at least I think so.
Alice ignored my statement, "we are all happy you're around, Declan."
I raised my eyebrows at her, "even Edward? I mean, I did yell at him and tried to punch him."
Alice placed a hand on my knee, "he's happy to see Carlisle so happy. Plus, Esme loves you too. So, he likes that you're around for them."
"Huh." I said in amazement. "I guess, that's good. I was worried that Edward hated me. I mean, I don't love him but that doesn't mean I want him to hate me."
"None of us hate you, don't worry." She giggled and patted my thigh before standing. "Bella's awake and Jasper's on his was down the hallway."
Just as Bella stepped out of the bedroom, Jasper opened the hotel suite door making her jump. She looked to me on the couch before rubbing her temples out of stress.
At least she got some sleep, it's better than nothing. Maybe that few hours will be what keeps her sane throughout this whole thing. As much as I desired some rest and a chance to lay down and stretch my wings, I just couldn't.
Bella looked at Alice and they stared at each other for a minute. I wish I knew what was going through both of their heads.
"What's wrong, Alice?" Bella asked.
Alice shook her head, "nothing's wrong."
Bella looked like she didn't believe her, even though there really isn't anything wrong. Yaknow other than a nomad wants to kills us all, but nothing really wrong right now.
Bella looked between the three of us. "What do we do now?"
"We wait for Carlisle to call." Alice answered.
Jasper moved to sit next to me and stared at the TV where the news was playing. He watched the TV blankly and I wanted to ask him the same questions Bella has to see if I'd get a different answer.
Are we really waiting for Carlisle to call?
The four of us stayed in the room for the whole day, the curtains drawn and the doors locked. The only time I left the room was with Jasper because I wanted to smoke a cig and Jasper insisted on following just in case.
Finally after hours and hours of waiting and pacing Alice came out of the bedroom followed by a worried Bella.
Jasper stood from his seat at the small desk and instantly was at Alice's side. "Alice?"
"Something's changed," she answered as Jasper pulled her to the couch next to me.
Alice and Jasper spoke back and forth, describing the vision Alice had just moments ago. Something about a room, a dark room with a gold stripe along the edge of the mirrors. Whatever that means.
When the phone rang, I knew it was Carlisle and I reached to answer to but Alice grabbed it first. She looked at me for a quick second, her eyes sad, before handing it back to me.
I pressed the answer button and put the phone up to my ear, "Carlisle?"
"Declan? Did Alice see where James is going?" He answered.
As much as I wanted to ignore his question and ask him what's going on and if he's okay, I decided it would be best to do as he says.
"Yes." I told him, "she just saw him."
I spent a quick minute explaining the rooms Alice saw and he silently listened. Alice moved to wrap an arm around a nervous looking Bella and I felt confident that Alice could keep her safe if Jasper and I had to leave to fight James.
"Are you okay?" Carlisle asked after I finished explaining the room to him seeming to not care about anything I just said.
"I'm fine, Carlisle." I promised him, hoping to ease any anxiety he might have about me. "We all are."
"Edward wants to talk to Bella." He muttered so fast I almost didn't hear it all.
"Of course he does." I looked at Jasper as he chucked at my tone. "I'll give her the phone right now."
"Just-" he cut himself off, "Declan? Stay safe for me, okay?"
My throats felt tight at his sincere tone, "I will, you too. Or I'll be pissed. I'll talk to you again soon, I promise."
Before he could say another word, I tossed the phone to Alice. She caught it and handed it to Bella who sighed heavily in relief.
I buried my face in my hands and ignored the conversations I could hear from the others. I need space or just some time to be alone, but it's apparently not safe for us to go places alone.
I must've stayed like that for a long time because when I picked my head up, I got a head rush. The three people were back to talking about the room with all the mirrors. Bella thought the room Alice described sounded a lot like her old dance studio.
I didn't even remember that Bella used to dance as a toddler, am I a bad friend for not remembering things like that? I don't know, I can't deal with that right now.
When Bella took the phone to the other room to call her mom. I stood from my spot on the couch to follow behind her.
"Declan? Jasper and I are going to run down to the lobby to book this room for a few more nights. Keep an eye on Bella for us." Alice spoke to me from the door.
I nodded to her as I turned the corner to the bedroom. I heard Bella muttering into the phone in a very stressed tone.
"No, Mom stay where you are." She said, her voice breaking slightly.
She muttered a yes then a no followed by another yes. Is Renee really asking that many questions? I guess I'll just have to listen more closely then.
"Goodbye, Bella," the voice on the phone said. "I look forward to seeing you again."
That voice was not Renee, not even close. Could that have been James?
"Bella!" I snapped as soon as she hung up the phone. "What are you thinking? What are you doing?"
"It's James, he has my mom. I have to go to him!" She hissed quietly.
I put my hand up to silence her. I need to think.
If James really has Renee, then why don't I just go and get her? I don't care about revealing myself anymore, I can't. Not when Renee is in danger.
Actually, the best bet is for me to go and check it out, see if James really does have Renee captured somewhere. If he does, I'll come back and get Jasper and we will beat the absolute shit out of him.
"Okay, Bella." I gathered her attention by putting my hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look at me. "I need you to trust me. I'm going to go scope out wherever James said he was, if he really has Renee I'll let everyone know. We will save her. There's nothing you can do alone."
"What?!" She snapped. "Declan? Are you crazy?"
"No, Bella I can do this. Better then any of the Cullens can. I have an easier way to get there, he won't hear me." I tried to explain. "Just ask Jasper and Alice when they get back."
I turned to leave the room with Bella following close behind. I found the KT tape I had Jasper buy and closed myself in the bathroom.
As Bella scolded me through the door, I quickly taped my chest and made sure it was secure. After checking myself out in the mirror, I folded my shirt and stuffed it in my pocket.
Opening the door, Bella looked me up and down and stomped her foot.
"Declan! You are not going anywhere, especially without a shirt." She argued.
"Bella, I'm not asking you for permission." I said as sternly as I could manage. "Stay here, I'll be back."
She put herself between the hotel suite door and me, she tried to stand taller then me. Her face was frustrated but I need to ignore that. I can't let her force me stay, I need to find Renee and this is the best way to do it.
I have her scent, I can find her anywhere. If shes not with James I'll call Jasper to let him know, then I'll fly to wherever she is. I'll find her and I'll be the one to protect her.
I gripped Bella's wrist just hard enough to pull her out of my way, as opened the door. "I'll call you soon, don't you worry. I've got wings and a will to live so I'll be fine."
With that, I closed the door on her shocked, confused face. I hurried down the hall, feeling the coldness of the air on my bare chest and back. When I found the stairwell, I climbed all the way to the top floor which was the roof.
It was easy enough to pick the lock, and as soon as the door opened I sprinted out on to the roof. I ran right to the edge and released my wings when I leaped off the building.
Circling the building once, I let myself feel the anxiety I've been ignoring. All those fears I've been trying to pretend are irrational. It's completely rational that this is all a trick to get Bella to come to him. I could be falling into a trap.
Letting out an frustrated growl, I flew faster in the direction of Bella's old house. My wings pumped so hard and fast that I can feel the aching in my spine growing with every push.
If this is a trap, so be it. But I won't go down without a fight.