|: Cigarettes and Candy :| Carlisle... - Chapter 17: Chapter 17

Declan's POV.
My birthday came by quickly enough, one day I was helping Bella pick out a dress for prom with Alice then they were both asking me what I wanted for my birthday. Alice also was very close to insisting on a party before, lucky for me, Carlisle stepped in to help me.
Of course, I said I didn't want presents either. I have everything that I want basically. Besides a male body, obviously, but you can't buy me that. I especially don't want a party.
I've always hated parties, even more so when they're for me. I can't deal with the attention, everyone giving you gifts and wanting hugs and shit. Gross, I hate it.
Carlisle is on my side, like always, and agreed to not throw a party or in general make a big deal out of my birthday. I really lucked out with him, I'm very grateful that he's understanding and supportive.
All the Cullens kept asking me what I wanted for my birthday, and I repeated told them not to get me anything. I'm bad at receiving gifts from people, I always feel like I don't deserve it.
Because I don't really. I didn't do anything worthy of deserving the Cullens. Yet they treat me like I hung the moon in their night sky. Why? What did I do to deserve such kindness from such wonderful people?
They did surprise me with a whole fucking cake when my legal name change went through. A majority of the cake came home with Bella and I, but I appreciated the gesture.
Everyone was happy for me when my name was finally legal changed with the help of Charlie. I even changed my last name from my mother's last name to Adam's. He was more than willing and even offered me his last name.
So, legally, I am finally Declan Derrick.
I am more than happy that my name has finally been legal changed. It's like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. All my information has been changed in school, so my teacher have to use my legal name and that's a huge relief.
The legal name change was the best birthday gift.
When I woke up in the morning, Bella surprised me with chocolate chip pancakes. She remembered that they're my favorite and even had Charlie help make them with her.
They both got me presents even though I said not too. I'm not shocked, this is what happens every year but now I don't need to hide the presents from my mom.
Bella got me two of my favorite Green Day albums on vinyl for my collection. I wished I could skip school to listen to them while I was painting or something but Charlie said just because a it my birthday doesn't mean I can skip school. Damn.
Charlie even got my a present even though I told him the paying for my name change was my present. I unwrapped the new set of oil paints and wanted to skip school even more to try them out.
At school, the Cullens didn't cause a scene about my birthday and by the Cullens I mean Alice. Alice didn't squeal or bring me balloons like she originally planed according to Jasper.
However, Bella's friend Angela surprised me with homemade cookies. I nearly teared up when she gave them to me because she's so nice and I haven't even spoken to her since that night we went shopping for dresses.
I actually had a good day at school, mostly because everything I was anxious about didn't happen. I was so convinced that Alice would cause a scene and would draw attention to me. I should've known she wouldn't do that to me.
Even though I had a good day, it couldn't go by fast enough. I was impatient in my classes and throughout the evening because I know that Carlisle is coming over tonight.
He sometimes works nights so I can't see him but he also doesn't like coming over because he wants me to get more sleep at night. Even though I've told him I don't need more rest, he's a doctor and he's worried about my health.
Finally I'm getting to see him alone again, it's been weeks since he's come over. Whenever I'm at the Cullens house I'm always making time to see everyone so I rarely spend as much time with Carlisle as I wish too. I just like them all so much I don't have time for everyone and that's frustrating.
Right now I'm waiting on my bed for a text from my best guy. I'm swinging my legs back and forth happily as I listen to my new Green Day album and I can feel the soft smile on my face.
I've been in such a good mood lately that I'm almost waiting for some bad news or just for something bad to happen. I know that's just my anxiety and my insecurities.
When my phone vibrated next to me I jumped up quickly with a happy gasp. I checked my phone to make sure it was Carlisle and tossed my phone back on my bed afterwards. I moved to my little attic door and climbed down the ladder.
I listened at the top of the stairs to make sure Charlie was snoring. When I heard the familiar sound of his snores and Bella murmuring to Edward, I softly stepped down the stairs.
Reaching the back door I swiftly unlocked it to let Carlisle inside. I stepped out and looked around until I found him at the bottom of the porch stairs.
His smile was radiant as he climbed the steps and lifted a hand to move my overgrown hair out of my face. His hand stopped at the back of my neck and he leaned down to place a quick kiss on my forehead.
"Declan." He whispered. "Happy birthday."
I sighed and took his hand and tugged him inside. "I don't want to talk about my birthday anymore, I've heard that all day."
"Oh cmon," he poked my arm. "I-"
I shushed him softly with a chuckled and pulled him by the hand upstairs. Once we reached my ladder I released his hand and climbed up. I trusted him to close the door behind him and moved to pick out a new vinyl to put on.
When I heard the familiar click of the attic door lock, I turned to Carlisle. "The Beatles or Queen?"
"Queen, without question." He answered and I nodded in approval.
"Good choice, I knew I liked you for a reason." I began, "you prefer Queen over the Beatles. That's my kind of man."
After pulling the record on, I moved to sit next to him on my bed. He took my hand in his once again and I couldn't help but giggle slightly into my other hand.
"Yaknow, before you came along, no one ever wanted to hold my hand." I admitted shyly to the man sitting next to me.
Before no one wanted to be near me, and I didn't want anyone near me either. Now, especially since we got back from Phoenix, Carlisle and I have gotten pretty affectionate.
Lots of hugs and he likes to hold my hand, I mean I like it too obviously but he always the one grabbing at me. When ever we're next to each other it's either an arm around my shoulders or a cold hand in mine.
He moved to press his shoulder into mine, "trust me, you don't have to worry about that anymore."
I looked at our interlocked hands, "I hope you don't leave me, I'd be devastated." I whispered the words I was ashamed to share.
"What?" He asked, turning to face me. "Why would I leave? Where would I want to be other than here."
"I don't know," I let go of his hand and stood up moving to lean on my desk. "I just don't want to be let down."
Being let down by someone is bad enough but being let down by Carlisle would be impossible to get over. I shouldn't be so dependent on him, I know that.
"Look at me, Dec." he murmured sternly and I did. "There's no where I want to be than here, I've never been so happy. I'm not going anywhere without you."
"I don't want to ask you to promise. But I hear this as one." I told him, keeping my voice genuine.
I couldn't ask him to promise to never leave because that'd be an even bigger let down. If he promised and crossed his heart I would just think of him as a liar. As someone who can't keep the simplest of promises.
He patted the spot next to him with a gentle smile. "Now come over here so I can give you your present."
My eyebrows raised in shock, "I thought I told you not to get me a present or I'd never hold your hand again."
I moved back to his side but he stood before I could sit down. We stood facing each other and I couldn't decided if I hated how tall he was or if I liked how much bigger he is than I.
"No, you said no to making a big deal out of your birthday." He corrected matter o factly. "You didn't threaten me about presents and I didn't even wrap it so it does not count."
"Dammit." I muttered as he chucked.
I looked up at him as he laughed and I became overwhelmed with love for this silly man. His smile is so precious and knowing that I make him that happy makes me feel so grateful to have him in my life.
"Close your eyes, sweet one." He whispered like a prayer and chills ran up my spine.
I narrowed my eyes, "fine but don't do anything weird to me while my eyes are closed."
He scoffed as I closed my eyes and placed a hand on his chest. "What would I do to you I don't understand."
I smirked, "I'll tell you when you're older."
"Oh, ha ha." He said, unamused. "I'm not going to do anything odd, Declan, don't worry."
My smirk turned into a smile and I patted his chest twice with the hand I was keeping there to make sure he didn't run away.
I heard some small sounds but nothing really distinguishable even with my special hearing. I felt something being placed around my neck and I had a brief anxious thought about being choked with a wire that I chose to ignore.
I felt Carlisle pull his hands away from me and one came to rest over mine on his chest. "Okay, you can look now."
Slowly, I opened my eyes to look at the man in front of me. He still smiling at me like I'm the light of his life and all I could do was smile back like an idiot in love.
After I could finally tear my eyes away from his beautiful face, I looked down towards my chest where I felt the weight resting.
There I saw a pendant, picking it up I examined it closer. In the center of the pendant was some beast sticking its tongue out, with its back foot it's holding onto a clover. There's three total clovers and also a hand. I recognized the symbols from the Cullens jewelry.
"Carlisle." I breathed.
"It's our family crest, everyone of us has one." He explained. "It was about time you got one too."
My eyes burned as I let the pendant dangle from the chain around my neck. I loved the feel of the weight around my neck, it will be a constant reminder of where I belong and where I've found a family.
I looked down at the pendant against my chest and sniffed, "Carlisle, I love it." I choked out.
I looked up to him and his shy smile made me laugh and reach my arms out for a hug. His smile widened and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I stood on my tip toes to reach his shoulders so I could lay my head against him.
I buried my face in his shoulder and willed away my tears so he didn't have to see me cry again. This is by far the most meaningful gift I've ever gotten. This is a gift that shows so much for my future and where I belong.
"I did not think you would get so emotional." He murmured into my hair.
"I'm fine, I'm fine." I tried to speak clearly but with his shoulder and my tears it was hard. "I'm just- just emo."
I could feel the way his head tilted in his confusion. "Emo?"
"It means I'm a little bitch." I explained as I pulled away from the comforting hug.
He placed his finger under my chin to make me look from the floor to him. His eyebrows were knitted and his lips slightly pouted in thought.
Finally he said, "I don't think you're a little bitch."
Laughter bubbled up so fast that I took both of my hands and covered my mouth to keep from being too loud.
I thought briefly about the two in the bedroom below me. I hear them talking sometimes, telling each other they can live without the other. Telling each other romantic nonsense.
Here's Carlisle and I, he just reassured me that I'm not a little bitch. I love our relationship, I love the things that he says and does. I can't get enough of us together.
I took a deep calming breath before taking my hands off my face. He looked at my expectantly, like he was waiting to hear what I needed to say.
"Mama didn't raise no bitch." I said my favorite words in the English language.
His eyebrows rose before he looked at me skeptically, "are you sure?" He whispers so softly.
Letting out a semi loud laugh, I pushed the man away and practically skipped to my desk chair and sat down. He rubbed his cheek with a smile as I crossed my arms over my chest.
"You just lost your Declan privileges." I scolded and turned my chair to face the sketch I was working on before.
He scoffed and stayed silent for a quick second, "wait, really?"
I hummed. "I'm expecting a phone call from Adam soon, so you're in time out for the time being I guess."
I peaked at him as he sat back down on my bed with a single noise. "Fine, then."
His smile was so soft as he looked down at his wound fingers and I resisted the urge to awe at his delicate beauty. Instead I just decided to watch him until Adam calls, a birthday present to myself really.
"Oh what a shame." I sighed dramatically. "I was going to sit next to you and let you hold my hand, but you just had to go off and say what you said."
He looked up at me with an amused expression, "you know what? It wasn't even that bad-"
The vibration from my phone cut him off. I glanced to my phone before looking back to him. I picked up my phone, ready to answer it.
His eyes narrowed as he frowned and went back to looking at his hands. His adorable face was slightly pouted and I couldn't help but to reach out with my socked foot to nudge his knee.
I pressed the answer button on my phone as I nudged him again. "Hey."
"Happy birthday you rodent!" Adam yelled shocking me and making me roll my eyes at Carlisle's near silent chuckle.
"Adam, its late and you're yelling." I turned my chair to face my desk so I wouldn't continue to stare at Carlisle.
I wouldn't be able to concentrate on Adam if I was watching the man on my bed. I'd be to busy examining his every move and expression.
"Well, someone wouldn't talk to me all day so I have to be all perky now." His words made me roll my eyes again.
"Sorry, I was just very busy, I guess." I apologized. "Anyway, you'll be happy. I had a really nice day, Adam."
"Awe, I'm glad. I wish I could be there." I could hear the sadness in his voice and I didn't like it.
"Maybe in a few months I'll fly back there for a week or so. The airfare isn't that expensive." I brought up the idea I've had for a couple weeks.
I really miss my friend. Sure I have the Cullens and Bella and Charlie but Adam is my first friend. He was there for me when I really had nothing. I need him just as much as I need my Cullens.
"That'd be awesome!" I could hear his smile. "I can show you all around the college campus and you can stay in the room I've been saving for you!"
In this moment I silently wished Carlisle wasn't there with me. I wish he didn't hear everything Adam had said. I don't think I've told him about my plans yet.
"That'd be perfect Adam. I'll talk to Charlie about it tomorrow and see what we can do." I tapped my fingers on the desk in front of me.
I really hope we can find a way to meet up, Adam and I used to spend everyday together. I miss him so much, but I cant move back to him, because I need the Cullens too.
"I can pay for your plane tickets if Charlie can't, I've been saving to come out and visit you actually. But if you'd rather come see me we can use that cash for your tickets." He explained.
I pushed my drawing away and closed my sketch book, deciding I wasn't going to work on it again tonight. "Yeah, we'll see what happens, I'd pay you back eventually though."
I hate letting people pay for things for me. Adam at least knows I plan on paying back every penny someone spends on me. Most people try to refuse the cash, which is just annoying.
"You don't need to worry about that now," I could almost see him making a shooing motion with his hand. "Oh! Your present! I have a present for you I just need more time to finish it."
"Adam you didn't have to get me a present, you know that." I tried to make him understand.
"Shut up, Declan. I have a gift for you like I always do, every year." Adam sighed. "And by needing more time I mean like I need a few weeks before I can tell you about it. Maybe months it depends on what Charlie thinks."
"Okay, what? What the fuck did you do? What?" I question with genuine concern in my voice.
"Shh, I've already said too much." He said, "I can't tell you anything it's a big surprise."
"Shit, Adam. You're freaking me out." I admitted.
What has he gotten into? Whenever people tell me they have a surprise for me my mind racing until I know what it is, now I could be waiting for months. I just hope Adam isn't planing something crazy.
"No need to be freaked, I got this covered. You'll love it, Dec." Adam reassured me. "I'm gonna let you go, you've had a long day and you need to get some rest."
"Okay, Adam. I'll try." I promised.
"Call me tomorrow okay, I want to talk to you more." I could hear him walking around his apartment.
I stood and faced Carlisle who was looking at the book I usually kept on my nightstand. "Of course, as long as you don't mind."
"I don't mind, I love talking to you, you're my best friend. You remember that don't you?" His voice sounded amused and mock scolding.
Rolling my eyes again, I nodded even thought he couldn't see me. "Yes Adam. Now go to bed. I love you, talk to you tomorrow."
"Goodnight, Declan." He hung up after that.
I smiled as I hung up the phone and moved to sit by Carlisle side once again. I missed being this close to him even though it's only been minutes since we've been close.
He placed the art book behind us and grabbed my arm to pull me closer. The length of our legs lining up and our sides touching.
"If I go to New York after high school, what would happen to us?" I asked the one question that was on my mind.
"Well, I could follow you, unless you wanted to be away from me. Or if we have to go out spectate ways for a while, that doesn't mean we still cannot be in each others lives." Carlisle grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers.
I swallowed, "I guess that's something we'll worry about once it gets closer."
I looked over at his reassuring smile, "yeah. Right now, let's just enjoy being together."
His hand came up to rest on my cheek and he leaned in for another forehead kiss. Then he placed a single kiss on my other cheek.
I placed my hand over his, "On my eighteenth birthday, will I get a real kiss?"
His smile was contagious, "it won't be much of a surprise if I tell you, now will it?"
I narrowed my eyes and moved closer to lean my forehead against his, "Carlisle Cullen, you will be the death of me."
How could I worry about the future when my present has never been better. I've never felt so happy and so fulfilled. Everything is coming together for me and I can tell that it's only going to get better from here.
I'm working on my transition, my relationships are thriving, my art work is getting better with each day. In a few months how far along will I be?
Everything is finally working out for me, I have a plan for my life. I want to live my life, I'm not scared of time passing by because I know my future is as bright as Carlisle's eyes.
My future is never ending, and I'm ready for the adventure it brings.