|: Cigarettes and Candy :| Carlisle... - Chapter 19: Chapter 19

Declan's POV
I followed Carlisle through the Cullen house and paused to look at the party decorations in the living room. There's unlit candles everywhere and roses in crystal vases.
Then Rosalie came in the room carrying more roses while wearing a fancy dress. It's black with little bead things on it to make it sparkle slightly I guess. I don't know shit about dresses but this is far from her usual casual look.
"Carlisle?" I called as I raced up the stairs to follow him. "Am I underdressed?"
At the top of the stairs, he turned to look at me. I glanced down at my faded Linkin Park shirt and ripped jeans, I think I'm underdressed.
"I can lend you something, do not fret." He patted the top of my head.
Reaching down to grab my fingers, he started pulling me in the direction of his bedroom.
"Carlisle your clothes aren't my size. We've been over this before." I rolled my eyes but continued to follow him none the less.
"Oh, hush." Was his only response.
He pushed his bedroom door open and let my hand go. He walked into his closet and I looked around at the flowers in his room. He often has new ones and they always smell so fresh.
Carlisle stepped out of his closet and tossed me a item of clothing. "Here, wear this. It's soft."
I quickly pulled off my shirt, leaving me in my binder. I tugged on the sweater and it true it is soft.
"Wow," I pulled the navy colored sleeves over my palms. "This is so soft, Carlisle, wow."
I rubbed the sleeves on my face as Carlisle walked out of the closet in new clothes. He looked at me as he pulled on a black jacket and adjusted his scarf.
"Awe Declan." He cooed and I continued to run the sleeves over my cheek. "You're so cute."
He stepped towards me and placed his hands over mine on my face. He leaned in and placed a swift kiss on the tip of my nose.
"So cute." He repeated like I missed it the first time.
"Thanks Carlisle, but I think you're mistaken." I pulled my face away from his hands. "You're the cute one."
His smile was shy and he reached for my hands. "No, you're the-"
"Oh come on! Seriously?" Emmett's sudden booming voice made me jump. "You two can be worse then Bella and Edward."
I glared at him for interrupting my moment with Carlisle. "Emmett, that's a lie and you know it."
"Are you two gonna stand here and argue about who's cuter?" He made mocking kissing noises.
"Emmett, Declan and I will be downstairs soon." Carlisle said, ignoring Emmett's words.
I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at him, "that's a nice way of saying, go away Emmett."
Emmett raised his hands in defense, "okay, okay, I'll see you downstairs."
He backed away carefully before turning in his foot and rushing down the stairs. My glare didn't lessen even when he was gone. Only when Carlisle poked my stomach did I look away with a unwanted giggled.
"Don't tickle me while I'm mad." I scolded the man in front of me.
I reached up to straighten his scarf, "shit man, this is soft too. Why is everything you own so soft?"
He reached his hands up and pulled the scarf from around his neck. "Why don't you wear it?"
He draped the fabric over my shoulder and the brush of against my neck made me smile. "I know you just like me in your clothes."
"Maybe I do." He smirked then he pulled me towards his bedroom door, "let's go join the party, Bella and Edward should be here soon."
Together, we walked back down the hallway and down the stairs. The dozens and dozens of pink candles were lit and there were more roses then I've ever seen before in my entire life. I wonder if all those came from Carlisle's garden?
"Wow, guys." I said making Esme and Alice turn to look at me. "This is a lot."
"But we didn't even get the fog machine." Emmett whined.
"Bella will love it." Alice piped from the corner.
I stepped down the finally stair and went up to Esme's side. I haven't seen her in days and I miss talking to her. She pulled me into a quick hug and patted my shoulders.
When we pulled away, her cool fingers found the chain around my neck. She carefully lifted the Cullen crest pendent out of my shirt and placed it down on my chest.
"You don't have to hide this here." She murmured with her warm smile.
I lifted my fingers to touch the cool metal on my chest, "thanks Esme."
"How do you feel after your first shot?" She asked while rubbing my arm, "do you feel any changes yet?" She joked.
With a chuckle, I shook my head. "Nope, none yet. But I feel amazing, I'm in top of the world."
"They're coming!!" Alice called from the stairs.
As I turned around to spot Bella a chorus of very excited vampires said, "happy birthday, Bella!"
Bella looked down and blushed furiously. I almost felt bad for her until I realized she can't be suffering to much. She's surrounded by people who care about her, that's not suffering.
Esme left my side to join Carlisle in welcoming Bella. I even heard Carlisle utter a quick apology about Alice and I chuckled lightly. Esme hugged Bella for a moment before Alice led her over to the present table.
I watched the two girls bicker back and forth about how Bella didn't want anything. Noticing Jasper by the bottom of the stairs all alone, I moved slowly over to his side. Hoping he wouldn't mind if I stood next to him.
"Getting all up in my space, Yankee?" He said with a handsome smirk.
I nudged his elbow, "just didn't want you to feel alone, is all."
Bella held the first and largest box in her hands, she looked as if she weighed it carefully as she inspected it. She unwrapped it to reveal a box with lots of words I couldn't read, then she opened it to reveal it was empty.
"Wow, thanks. I love it." She spoke in a monotone.
Jasper let out a deep chuckle by my side.
Rosalie smiled slightly making me feel happy that she's slightly warmed up to Bella. "Emmett already installed it, it's a stereo for your truck."
"Thank you, Rosalie and Jasper." Then she looked to Emmett. "Thanks Emmett."
"Open mine and Edwards next!" Alice spoke excitedly and shoved another gift into Bella's hands.
Bella scolded Edward for giving her a gift and he sweetly explained to her that he didn't spend any money. Bella took the wrapped gift and shoved her finger under the paper before letting out a quiet wince.
As soon as I saw the drop of blood on her finder, I reached both hands onto Jasper's arm. Ready to pull him out of the house, but he instead sprinted forwards.
"No!" Edward roared and stepped in Jasper's path.
Edward roughly pushed Bella into the wall behind him and slammed into Jasper as the others all leaped into action. I stood in the corner with my hand over my mouth in horror.
Emmett and Carlisle grabbed at Jasper and held him back as he growled and hissed. The two look like they're struggling to hold him back and I questioned wether or not I should be helping.
At the thought, Alice ran to Jasper and put her hands on his cheeks, she made these small cooing noises to comfort him. She carefully spoke his name and shushed him.
"Shh, shh, Jasper. It's okay, it's okay. It's just a little blood." She comforted.
"Emmett take Jasper outside." Carlisle's stern voice said.
Emmett did as he was told and grabbed Jasper in a solid grip before leaving, Rosalie followed behind the two. Esme soon followed, her eyes apologetic and her hand over her mouth and nose.
Alice was the last one to leave, she didn't say a single word. No one did as she left in the same way Esme did.
Only four of us were left in the Cullens living room, all of us looking around at one another. I dropped my hand from my mouth and tried to conceal my horror as Carlisle and I locked eyes.
I glared at Edwards back as my mind finally caught up on what had happened. "Okay, but why did you have to fucking drop kick her into the wall like that?"
"Declan." Carlisle warned. "Edward. Leave, go outside."
Edward hesitated, his eyes watching Bella's every move.
"Now! Edward!" Carlisle snapped in a tone I've never heard from him before.
Slowly, Edward left though the same door as all the other Cullens. I watched him go and I felt pity for him. He's such a downer, this is going to ruin him. What kind of dramatic shit is he gonna do in result of this event.
I stepped away from the staircase and over to Carlisle who was examining Bella's wounded arm. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
He glanced up at me, "could you get my bag for me, please?"
"In your office?" I asked.
He nodded without looking away from Bella's arm.
I jogged up the stairs and down the hall to Carlisle's office. I looked around the room for a bag, whatever kind of bag it is. When I found the black leather bag, the only bag I saw, I picked it up and left the room.
Closing the door behind me, I rushed down the hall and back down the stairs. When I reached the living room, I didn't see Carlisle or Bella. I can hear them talking, so I followed their voices to the kitchen.
"I can clear a room, at least." Bella mumbled as I turned the corner.
"It's nothing personal, it could happen to anyone." Carlisle answered.
I placed the bag down next to Bella on the table. Carlisle mumbled a soft 'thank you' and opened it, taking out his tools.
"And I thought the worse thing that could happen was if the cake didn't have enough candles." I said sarcastically.
Carlisle used a certain tool to start picking pieces of glass from Bella's arm. "I told you that would never happen."
Bella glanced at me, "is this what you two talk about, I mean, when he's up in your room?"
Carlisle looked between the two of us with a puzzled expression.
"What?" Bella asked. "I know. I know that you are there a lot."
I rolled my eyes at Carlisle confusion, "we mostly talk shit. Yeah, and on occasion, Carlisle bullies me."
Carlisle paused on the glass picking to look at me, "there's feathers everywhere up there." He said in disbelieve.
Bella giggled and I rolled my eyes again, "you always come at a bad time."
With a shake of his head, Carlisle continued picking the tiny pieces of glass from Bella's arm. I watched for a moment before my worry for the other Cullens grew too strong.
"Uh, can I go and find Jasper?" I asked permission like a child would. What am I doing?
Carlisle looked back towards me, "I think that will be good."
With a nod, I stood. A final glance to Bella and I soft pat to Carlisle's back and I was gone. I sped through the living room and out the back door and ran into Esme.
"Where's Jasper?" I asked when I was in front of her.
She pointed to the forest, "he's that way with Emmett."
With a swift nod of thanks, I rushed down the stairs and walked towards the direction she pointed. I carefully walked over roots and fallen branches until I grew closer to Emmett's voice.
After a minute of walking, I reached a small clearing. Emmett was leaning on a tree and Jasper was sitting on a fallen tree trunk. He hand his face in his hands and my heart wrenched at the sight.
I don't like seeing my friends sad.
"Emmett, you can go. I want to talk to him." I spoke clearly and calmly, trying to show Jasper that I wasn't angry.
Emmett looked me over once and then nodded. He pushed off the tree, and walked into the trees.
I looked at Jasper as he straightened, I was expecting him to glare and tell me to go away but he didn't. He did peak over and me with these sad eyes and I couldn't kept my pitiful look off my face.
"Can I sit?" I questioned, gesturing to the tree truck.
With a nod, he moved over to make room for me.
I stepped towards him carefully and sat down next to my friend. "Are you okay?" I feel like I know the answer.
He glanced at me, "I tried to kill my brothers girlfriend. On her birthday."
"She forgives you. She's okay." I tried to reassure.
I could only imagine how guilty he feels. Jasper always feels guilty for struggling with blood, this must be a new low for him. Plus, I don't know how to make it better. I wish Carlisle was here to be the main voice of reason.
"She shouldn't forgive me, Edward won't. I tried to kill her, she shouldn't be so okay with that." He stressed, rubbing his face.
I leaned closer to put a hand on his shoulder, "Jasper, she understands. She knows this is extremely hard for you."
"It shouldn't be." He mumbled, sounding bitter.
I wonder if this is a good time to slap some sense into him. Probably not, but it's still a backup plan.
"Jasper-"
"I don't want to talk about it anymore." He cut me off.
"No," I snapped. "I'm not gonna leave so you can sit here and fester in your guilt."
He looked at me and nearly pouted before he rolled his eyes and put his face back into his hands. He's taking deep slow breathes and each one sounds heavy.
"Is this some guy thing that I don't know about?" I spoke. "Like you cant share any negative emotions with me?"
When he stayed silent I reached over to pat his hunched back. "Should I share something first? Like something I never tell anyone?"
Jasper picked his head up and looked at me, "I'm listening. Tell me your secrets."
With a scoff, I squared my shoulders and took a deep breath. "Sometimes I feel like I'll never be a real boy." I admitted.
I looked at his face for a moment only to look away when his eyes turned pitiful.
"Declan, you know that's not true. You're a boy just like I am." He comforted.
"Well, now you go. Tell me what's you're feeling." I ignored his comfort.
He looked off into the trees ahead of us with a sigh. His face looks so sad and hurt that I can't stand it. I want to say something to cheer him up but I don't think there is anything I could do.
"I'm scared that they're going to ask me to leave." He spoke so softly I nearly didn't hear him.
My breathing hitched as I processed his words. The cullens wouldn't do that right? I wouldn't let them! They aren't a full family without Jasper.
"They wouldn't do that, would they?" I asked, my voice sounding childlike as my fear showed through.
He shrugged, "probably not, but that doesn't mean some of them don't want that. I'm sure some of them are thinking it."
"Jasper, they all love you. They wouldn't want you to leave." I tried to ease the fears of us both.
They wouldn't right? The Cullens are a family. Maybe if they were like other covens then Jasper might be asked to leave but they aren't a coven, they're a family.
"I know, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't. It be best if I left." He admitted sadly.
"No. You're wrong!" I hissed. "You can't leave, everyone would be devastated."
"I won't, I won't." Jasper assured swiftly.
"Promise me." I demanded wrapping Carlisles scarf tighter around me as the breeze blew.
Maybe I'm being too demanding, people don't like feeling forced. However Jasper can't leave. Not me. Not the Cullens. He can't.
"I promise, Declan. I won't go anywhere." He promised.
With a sigh, I stood. "Okay, thank you. I should go find Bella."
Jasper reached to grab my sweater sleeve. "Please, tell her I apologize."
Nodding I said, "I will."
As soon as he released my sleeve, I turned as headed back in the direction I came. It's dark and I almost can't see where I'm going or what I'm walking over but within a minute I was back in the Cullens yard.
I headed back up the back patio stairs and into the living room though the backdoor. The mess was already cleaned up and I was shocked to smell lots of bleach. That's the only way they'll be able to recover I guess, by bleaching every surface until the blood smell is gone.
I looked around for Bella and found her by the front door with Edward and Carlisle. Edward has this intense frown on his face and his eyes looked dead. I almost feel bad for him, even though nothing really happened to him.
As soon as I walked in the room, Bella and Edward left out the front door. Carlisle turned to look at me and he has that stressed expression I hate seeing on his face.
"Hey, how's Bella's arm?" I asked him, trying to break the tension I felt.
"A dozen stitches or so later, she's okay." He answer with a frown.
"That's good," I responded. I looked down at the edges of the scarf around my neck. "I'm sure you want your sweater and scarf back."
As I raised my hands to remove the scarf, he brought his hands up to stop me. "No, you can keep them. They look good on you."
I looked back up at his face and smiled at his smirk. At least he's not frowning anymore. His eyes don't look happy, but he's getting there.
"You should get going, Bella and Edward are waiting." He said softly.
I nodded, "I guess so. I'll call you later though, okay?"
With a nod, he picked up my backpack from the bench next to us and handed it to me. "I'll be looking forward to it."
I smiled again and took my backpack and slung it over my shoulder. I stood on my toes and wrapped Carlisle in for a quick hug before pulling away.
With a soft but not genuine smile, Carlisle pressed a swift kiss to my temple. He stepped away from the door so I could walk past him.
I made my way down the porch stairs without looking back, not trusting my will to leave. I want to stay, I need to make sure Carlisle isn't somehow blaming himself for this accident.
When I reached Bella's truck, I climbed into the passenger seat. Bella sat in the middle, her expression sour and as if she was forcing herself to stay silent.
Edward pulled the car out onto the dirt road as soon as I closed the door. He sped down the road faster than normal and I brought a hand up to cover my eyes. I can't watch him drive like a maniac.
The silence in the car was terrifying, Edward and Bella never fight but clearly that's what is currently happening. What if they break up? Bella would be heartbroken!
They can't break up, everything would be ruined. That's the worst thing that could happen.