|: Cigarettes and Candy :| Carlisle... - Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Declan's POV.
Leaning my head back with a sigh, I let the feeling of relief run though me. I heard the familiar woosh sound, more relief came when I realized that my new bedroom is in fact long enough. I was worried about that, things would be much more difficult if my room was too small.
Opening my eyes, I looked to my right. A large black wing twitched slightly making a single loose feather fall to the floor. I felt my left wing twitch a few times, trying to shake away the tightness from being trapped.
I ran my fingers through the inside of each wing, I need to take the time to properly groom them soon but I'm lazy. I pulled out a couple loose feathers before shaking them again.
I held one feather in my hand and watched the color shift in the light. Every feather is dark in color but some are a deep navy blue, others a black or a mix of the two. The deep color is helpful for staying hidden at night, but my wings are certainly not the prettiest.
You see, my grandfather who I never really knew passed down some of his genes to me. Blue eyes, natural black hair, anxiety, and vampiric DNA.
There's vampires turned by bite, by blood, and some have the gene passed down generation to generation. I'm one of those unlucky ones, the ones that never had a chance.
My grandfather had two daughters, both of which don't have the full gene, my mother passed the gene to me. My grandfather died when I was five, but he knew I had the gene. Out of my two brothers and me, I'm the only one cursed with wings and bloodlust.
Knowing he would soon die, he left me dozens of books and letters. What he left for me was all I had to get through the transformation. I still needed them now as there's still so much I don't know.
At first glance I came to the conclusion that my grandfather was a madman. What else do you think when someone who you only remember as dead tells you that you're some sort of mythical creature? As soon as the first signs of the transformation started happening, all my doubts vanished.
It's subtle in the beginning but it was too much for me to think it was a coincidence. The worst pain was in my back, of course it was because I was growing wings. Maybe it was worth the pain, having wings makes my life so much easier. The headaches, nausea, and body tremors came quickly but the psychological changes built up slowly.
The paranoia came first, I was already a paranoid person but it escalated suddenly one day. It got to a point where all my electronics and windows were covered with bed sheets. Then there was the twisting feeling deep in my chest, it was almost a feeling of anxiety. I always felt like something bad was going to happen.
Next, bloodlust. The horrifying reality of this whole thing. Wings are pretty cool sometimes, they're nice to cuddle with when I sleep and flying is fun. The added speed and strength is helpful, but the bloodlust is what makes me question whether or not it's worth it.
There's been nights where I'd have to break out of my house to avoid attacking my own mother. I knew what was happening and that I needed blood, but there is no way I could feed from my mother. Even if feeding from someone doesn't kill them I still couldn't feed from friends or family. I couldn't risk it. I've never killed for blood and I don't think I'd be able to handle it if I did.
I shook out my wings once more before sitting on my bed and pulling out my cell phone. I still have to call Adam, it's late but I'm sure he won't mind. Well, it's early morning there, about five AM. I've called him at this time plenty of times. I pressed his contact and brought my knees to my chest.
It rang a few times before I heard his gruff and sleepy, "hello?"
"Adam. It's me." I said in a whisper soft voice.
"Dec?" His tone was worried, "are you okay?"
"Yeah" I assured. "I just wanted to call you, it's been a few days since we talked."
He hummed and I heard some shuffling, "I know, I've missed you. Are you in Forks? Has Charlie been nice?"
I nodded before realizing he can't see me, "Charlie is still cool and I landed a few hours ago. I was unpacking before I decided to call you."
"Good", he cleared his throats a few times. "You couldn't have called earlier huh?" He chuckled, the sound is familiar and comforting.
"I figured I'd keep you guessing. Maybe I'll call you multiple times a night, it's not like I have anyone else to call." I confess. "I payed a lot of money for this phone plan."
He hummed again with a laugh, "You're right but you could, I don't know, try to make more friends."
I scoffed in offense, "you know it's too hard for me. Besides people never want to be my friend anyway."
"Well, you have to at least try", he stressed. "I know everyone says this, but this is a fresh start."
I groaned and he quickly shushed me.
"You know what I mean dude," He continued. "Please try to have a positive attitude at least. Plus Charlie is the Chief of Police, those kids have to be nice to you."
I scowled, "yeah that's just what I want. Kindness in result of fear. Sounds good", I felt my once relaxed wings rise.
"I just-" I heard more shuffling before a soft sound of a lamp being clicked on. "I don't want to be the only person you talk to, Declan."
I blinked rapidly as my wings twitched, I wrapped them around myself for comfort. "I-", I was cut off.
"I didn't mean that in a rude way, I know it sounded that way. I'm sorry." He apologized. "What I meant to say was, I don't think it's healthy for me to be your only friend."
"Y'know," I tried to keep my voice steady. "You're not my only friend by choice."
"I'm not expecting you to have slumber parties every Friday and share secrets." He explained. "Make a study buddy or something. I don't want you to make a new best friend."
I sighed, my lips were in a tight line and I attempted to relax my muscles. "But I'm shy, Adam."
His sudden laugh was so loud I pulled my phone away from my ear and glared at it. At this rate he is gonna wake up Charlie and Bella.
My glare didn't lessen when he finally continued. "I know you're shy, I love that you're shy is makes you cute. Adorable even."
"Do you have a point or no?"
"Yeah actually I do." His voice was still amused and teasing, I know exactly what smile he is wearing.
"Shocker", I mumbled as he continued.
"Overall, you need to try and make friends. Which won't be hard because, cmon dude, you're cute and funny. Plus, it's high school. This is the easiest time to make friends." He lectured in such a familiar way that I could see the emphasizing hand gestures he never failed to do.
"I would know." He continued. "Now, I'm aware I haven't been in high school in like uh, ten years or so but I know what I'm talking about. Everyone is bored and looking for anything besides school work to do. People will talk to you. Just don't be a punk and ignore everyone."
I hummed, "are you done?"
"Y'know what? No I'm not." He declared, "I'm not done. I have so much wisdom and you need it or you wouldn't survive."
"Yeah, you're right." I admitted, "thank you, Adam. You're the only person who doesn't talk to me like I'm fragile."
"You definitely aren't fragile, I've seen you punch a brick wall for the aesthetic." He mentioned.
My voice was whisper soft as I interrupted him, "Mama didn't raise no bitch."
Adam scoffed. "Yeah I remember. Now don't you dare call me tomorrow unless you plan to tell me about your new friends."
"Wow. Okay, you're not kidding are you?" I asked.
"Nope. Goodnight I love you." He made a kiss noise then hung up.
I held my phone to my ear for a few more seconds just blinking in annoyance. I love him but I don't remember why sometimes. After all these years I bet I couldn't get rid of him even if I wanted too. Our lives are too morphed together, he knows my "family" and I know his. Occasionally I wonder if we are too close.
Adam is and has been my closest friend for 7 years. I met him at the lowest point of his life and he has been there for me in all my low points. He has somehow managed to be something like a mother and a best friend. He has carefully balanced between telling me off for making bad choices and letting me make bad choices because it's funny sometimes.
I don't really want another friend if I'm honest. I mean, why bother? I already know that after I graduate I'm moving back to New York to live with Adam. He already has a spare bedroom in his apartment upstate. Why should I make new friends just to end up leaving and never seeing them again?
I carefully paced my new bedroom, learning how to navigate the space with my wings out and anxiously tugging on my hair. What if I really do want friends but my mental illnesses make me feel like I shouldn't have anyone? What if the only thing people talk to me about is transgender shit? How do I know if someone is being genuinely nice to me or if they're doing that "I'm being nice to you now but my friends will laugh about it later" thing?
Fuck.
Above all other questions the biggest and possibly the saddest one is, why am I like this?
I need to sleep I cannot do this again tonight. I cannot stay awake all night worry and overthinking about things I have no control over. That's how people lose their minds. Although if I had lost my mind I'd have no idea so my life wouldn't change.
Bed. I need to go to bed before I overthink myself into a coma. I quickly took my nighttime medications and stretched my wings one last time before pulling the blankets back on my bed. Crawling in I couldn't help but feel grateful for the queen size mattress Charlie got for me. There's enough room for my wings so they don't have to hang off the edge and onto the floor.
Carefully, I shifted and squirmed until I found a comfy position. I settled on my side with one wing over my shoulder and curled around me. As much trouble and a pain wings can be, they are great comfort objects. I feel the safest with my wings out and free to move.
I looked at the picture of Adam and I on my nightstand and promised to try to have a good day tomorrow, like I did every night. Seeing him smiling happily with his long arms wrapped around my shoulders makes me miss him even more. It's been about two and a half weeks since I'd last seen him in person, it's still too long. Adam and how he turned his life around gives me hope for my own future, if he can climb out of hell I can do it too. Especially with him helping me every step of the way.
Listening to the sounds of the rain and in my own personal cocoon of security I slowly started to feel drowsy. The relaxing sounds of the rain agains the roof above me and even Charlie's snoring brought on this unusual but not unwelcome feeling of peace. Doing some breathing exercises and nuzzling deeper into my wing made me fall into a much needed dreamless sleep.
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Somehow in the morning rush and the struggles the single bathroom bring, I managed to grab a quick shower. Hopefully the hot water will keep me relaxed for at least the first few hours of school. If not I can rely on my meds.
I never understood why in movies and tv shows teens are always so against therapy and medications. I mean I practically lick the excess drugs off of the bottle when it's empty. I love my medications, I remember what it was like without them and hell if I'm gonna be like that again.
After tugging on my black binder, I smoked a quick cigarette out of my window. Blowing the smoke out into the foggy air, I worried about school. I've already worried about everything regarding the subject. At the moment it's dress codes.
More particularly, my tattoos. I have lots and some of which will never been seen by anyone there but my hands are covered. I can't hide the black ink that covers my knuckles and the backs of my hands. In fact I am pretty sure that the drop dead across my knuckles will be a problem, even though I have gorgeous tattooed on the knuckles underneath. Maybe the principal has a sense of humor.
I quickly put together an all black outfit that seemed warm enough for January in Forks. Gathering the last of my necessities for the day, gloves, headphones, phone charger, and my cigs, I grabbed my backpack and climbed down the ladder into the upstairs hallway.
Entering the kitchen and hoping for a quiet breakfast, I sat at the table across from Charlie. I chugged down two cups of coffee and participate in the small talk. I could see the tension in Bella's shoulders and she's making that familiar grumpy worried expression.
"Did you pack your meds?" Charlie asked me, his voice guff and tired.
I nodded as I fiddled with my mug. "Yeah, and I have my doctors note for gym. I've got it covered."
He cleared his throat, "well don't let anyone see that you have pills. The nurse should be holding them for you so don't let anyone catch you with them."
"I'd hate to get in trouble if the chief of police would be choosing my punishment." I teased.
Soon enough Bella and I were in her new but not really new truck. I have to admit, it's growing on me. It's loud and high, it feels like riding in a tank. I glanced at Bella to check if she was still making that face. Of course, she is.
"I bet your excited about gym class. I hate to miss it, but unfortunately I have a doctors note." I spoke exaggeratedly. "I wonder what you guys are gonna play today?"
She scoffed at my teasing, "What's the point of being friends with a delinquent if he won't forge doctors notes for you."
"I don't know how to forge doctors notes sadly." I shrugged and sighed. "I guess I'll just have to seduce the local doctor and get them to write one for you."
Her dark eyebrows rose, "Wow. Now that's a plan, but what if they are married?"
Now it was my turn to scoff, "like marriage ever stopped anyone."
"Okay, then one more thing. What if they don't like boys?" She added.
"I'll just do what I usually do when I have to use the girls bathroom." I answered, "stick my ass out and stick my chest out. For added effect, maybe talk to myself in my girl voice." I pitched my voice higher for the last two words, trying to make it sound as feminine as possible.
Bella laughed, one of her palms taping the leather of the steering wheel. "You have an answer to everything don't you?"
"Always." I answered as we pulled into the nearly empty school parking lot.
Bella parked the truck outside of the front office building and got out. I sat still for a few seconds confused as to why we were here instead of parked next to the few other students. I grabbed my backpack from next to my feet and climbed out.
I followed Bella through the doors into the small office. I quickly became overwhelmed by the blasting heat in the small space. We stepped up to the long counter to come face to face with the only person in the office.
She peaked up at us over her glasses, "can I help you two?"
Bella spoke up, "I'm Isabella Swan."
Recognition appeared on the woman's face, clearly Bella has been the talk of the town. As much as she hates it, I like the idea of Charlie excitedly telling everyone about his daughter coming home.
"Of course." She smiled then looked at me, "and you must be ----."
My entire body locked up as soon as the word left her mouth. My birth name, no matter what I do I cannot get rid of it. My fists clenched and my head ached.
"Sorry Miss, but his name is Declan." Bella corrected instantly.
"Oh!" The woman's eyebrows shot up, her mouth forming an O shape. "Yes. I'm sorry, I forgot. I'll fix that right now."
The woman pushed up her glasses and grabbed the nearest pen. I could hear the sound of it against the papers and I could feel room getting smaller and smaller. Too small, the space is constricting my breathing. Or is that my binder?
I heard Bella sigh in relief next to me. "Declan? It's okay. She's fixing it right now." She whispered to me as she rubbed my bicep.
I looked at her face, her eyes filled with pity. My hands are shaking. Is the rest of me shaking too?
"I don't wanna be called that." I mumbled, my voice trembling just like my numb fingers.
"Don't worry." She soothes. "We'll get this figured out and if anyone has any problems they have Charlie to deal with."
She shifted to wrap her arm over my shoulders, "and you know my mom is less than a phone call away."
I chuckled as I remembered the conversation Renee and I have had countless of times. The reminder that "if anyone gives you any trouble, let me know and I will go all mama bear on their ass".
If she had some wine with dinner, her usual ramble would be even more dramatic. She's probably worried about us already. I'll call her later, just to let her know that everything is okay. We are okay.
The woman handed over my papers then and I glared at the spot where my birth name was cross out with pen. Wow. It's like it never happened. Amazing.
Bella and I walked out of the overly warm front office and back to her truck. There were already other students in the parking lot, Bella followed the cars to what seemed to be the main parking area. The small lot isn't even filled, maybe I over estimated how many students there are?
Bella parked and cut the engine before pulling out the campus map. Her and I discussed what all of our classes are while trying to memorize where they were located.
Our schedules are completely different, which I'm a bit happy about actually. I feel like if we had the same classes we would never speak to anyone but each other.
My schedule is a mix between sophomore and junior classes as I took different courses in New York. It's kinda confusing but I'm sure within a week I'll have my schedule and class locations memorized.
I watched Bella gather her stuff and let her take one more deep breath before I opened my door and stepped out. I heard Bella's door close a few seconds after mine, I walked around the truck to her side.
"Do you want me to walk with you to your first class?" I murmured.
She shook her head quickly. "No. I'm okay, Declan. Go find your class, we'll talk at lunch. Unless you make friends and want to sit with them." She smiled and nudged my shoulder at that last comment.
I just smiled back and turned to walk to my first class, junior history with Mr. Halen. I always liked history and the fact that I don't have to retake sophomore history makes me very happy. Sitting through lessons you already learned is a different kind of hell.
When I finally reached the classroom I stepped around the girl hanging up her coat choosing to keep mine on. Walking up to the man I assume is the teacher I got my papers out of my pocket.
I wordlessly handed the papers to Mr.Halen and looked around the classroom as he signed. Most of the desks are already taken and I silently hoped that there wasn't assigned seats.
I turned back to Mr. Halen when he loudly cleared his throat. He looks tired and and maybe a bit grumpy.
"I have to let you know," he began. "You have to turn in all your school work under your real, legal name."
"That's ridiculous." I snapped as I heard the classroom grow quiet.
"It's standard school regulations." He spoke in a bored tone. "I'm sorry, I don't make the rules ----."
Did he just fucking pull that shit?
"But you enforce them" I sneered. "Either you're showing me false pity or, you truly are sorry but are too spineless to do anything to help me."
Mr. Halen's eyes narrowed. "Do you want detention on your first day? How will Chief Swan feel about that?"
I glared at him before taking my papers and rushed to the desk in the back corner. I placed down all my things rather hard and sat down with a slam.
As Mr. Halen began his lesson I put my arms down in my desk and laid my head down on top of them. The whole class was silent and most likely paying close attention to the conversation Mr. Halen and I just had. What if everyone heard him say my birth name? What if they all start using it? What if Charlie doesn't let me legally change my name until I'm eighteen?
"I'm sorry he treated you so poorly." A deep and low voice murmured from my right. "If you want I'll show you where the principals office is."
I raised my head at looked at the man sitting in the desk next to mine. The pure white and inhumanly smooth skin is a giveaway, as is the golden eyes. Vampire. Not like me but still a nonhuman person, just sitting next to me in classroom in a small town.
What?
"Why do I need to see the principal?" I questioned the man.
His pale hand raised to push long blond hair away from his face. "To tell her about the name issue. If she doesn't do anything you could always go to the school board."
I nodded, "do you think that will make a difference?" I could feel the tension in my face as my eyes narrowed at this stranger.
He shrugged, "It's worth a shot."
"Yeah, maybe." I turned to face the front of the classroom but I kept sneaking looks at the vampire next to me while I was taking notes.
He looks like a young adult, maybe not as young as a junior but young enough. His hair is blond and goes down to his jawline. If I look hard enough and let my eyes focus, I can see multiple scars on his neck. They are nearly hidden by the collar of his jacket but they are there.
Humans wouldn't be able to see them. Not as easily as I can at least. There's scars on his hands too, one looks very clearly like a bite. The white half crescents lining up perfectly. How can someone who looks so intimating be so kind?
"My name is Declan by the way." I mumbled and extended my closed fist in offering.
He looked at me then at my fist. "I am Jasper." His cool fist pressed against mine for a moment before he pulled away.
I smiled as I returned to taking notes. We are friends now right? I mean, he was nice, I introduced myself, so we are friends?
I continuously pondered that thought for the entire class period and I flinched when the old sounding bell rang. I quickly gathered my books and papers and put them in my backpack.
"May I see your schedule?" Jasper's deep voice made me flinch harder then the gross bell. "I can show you to your next class if you'd like."
I faced him. "Sure. That'd be extremely helpful actually." I let Bella keep our map, which may have been a bad idea but we were only given one.
I pulled my papers from my coat pocket and handed them over. I watched as he read my schedule while we walked out of the classroom.
"We have a few classes together and you also have some classes with my brothers and sisters." Jasper explained while I was distracted by all the students staring at us.
"Okay, but why are they staring?" I asked trying to keep my voice low as if that would make them look away.
"Oh um. My family and I tend to stick to ourselves, and many people seem to find us intimidating." He admitted handing my papers back to me.
Intimidated because you're a vampire, I wanted to say. Just put it out there that I know. Does he know that I know?
I smirked as I stuffed my papers back into my pocket. "Intimidated because you're hot?"
Jasper laugh was breathless and carefree. The sound reminds me of Adam and I smile widely at the thought of telling him about the friend I made.
"I guess so." Jasper joked.
Together we walked to the building my next class is in, making small talk and keeping to ourselves. Even though the weight still weighs in my mind about whether or not he knows I know about him, I'm having fun. I made a friend and I already know we have a huge thing in common. I didn't see Forks bringing me into contact with vampires but I'm glad it did.